"You're kidding, your kidding right?" Celestia could not believe it, the room was set up like a grade school classroom complete with two small desks set in the center of the room.
In stark contrast to her sister Luna, who squealed with delight. "Now it's just like real school, this is going to be so much fun.".
Celestia dragged her hooves to her minuscule desk, while Luna skipped and even whistled on her way to hers. As Luna sat down, the seat gave a little squeak, altogether the lunar princess was well within it's weight capacity but as Celestia began to sit down the chair gave a much louder protest to this royal flank. The two waited, the silence in the faux classroom only occasionally punctuated by Luna's giggles and Celestia's grunts as she tried to get comfortable. The chair remained silent, quietly enduring it's burden knowing that another outburst may lead to banishment or a one way trip to the incinerator.
"Celly, do you know who is going to teach us?"
"Teaching you my dear, I am just here for emotional support" and then under her breath,"and to find out what Book Cover is up to,". I taught her the art of the prank too well, she is the joke equivalent to Twilight, thorough and unparallelled in knowledge of her given subject, not including herself and a certain pink earth pony.
The door to the classroom opened slightly, a pony slowly and cautiously entered the room. "Ummm hello. eep!" came a demure yellow pegasus, her pink hair doing it's best to hide her obviously frightened face.
Fluttershy was unfortunately caught between a rock and a hard place, on one hoof she was still frightened of Luna and of Celestia, on the other she was ordered by Celestia herself to not only teach them but to also treat them both as regular ponies, on the third hoof she still owed Celestia for not getting mad about taking Philomeena without permission, and then on the fourth hoof she had to do a good job or the poor new foal might not get the care it needs. With that fourth hoof heavy on her mind she steeled herself for the task at hand.
"I was told by Ms. Cover that you both needed to learn about early foalhood care," the statement almost sounded like a question coming from the meek pegasus.
"It is Luna that needs some teaching, I myself am quite well versed in caring for children." Celestia was having an ever growing disdain for the tiny wooden frame and for the entire situation, neither of which offered her any form of comfort, despite all of her fidgeting.
"OK then, but I will still ask you some questions, so you can teach your sister by example of course," Fluttershy knew it was better to play along with Celestia then to outright fight her on the issue. I wonder why she asked me to treat her like a student, just to deny it in front of Luna? Is she ashamed she needs lessons?
"That is acceptable. Luna, make sure to take good notes," Celestia said. If ever arrogance needed a mascot then it need not look further.
"Well first of all did you two decide whether to pick a name now or see if there is a cutie flash?" Fluttershy asked.
A puzzled look adorned Luna's face.
"Cutie flash?" Luna asked.
"Ohh! right, you have been gone when we finally figured this out. Let's see, about 30% of the time when a foal is born, their future cutie mark will appear for a brief few seconds, it has become an unofficial tradition to sometimes name the foal after their future special talent," Celestia explained.
Fluttershy then began to add "But it happens so quickly that sometimes even when it does happen everypony misses it, and some ponies will stick with family names or want to keep it a surprise."
Luna furiously scribbled notes, her eagerness to learn and her determination to do well was unbearably cute. With her cheeks giving her an almost pout, as her tongue just barely leaving her lips.
"Well if he get's a cutie flash then I guess we will name him after it, but if he doesn't his name will be Artemis," Luna grinned at the name, it was the name of her favorite constellation.
"No, it will be Solaris," Celestia chided.
"Artemis!" Luna refused to give in to her sister.
"You got to choose the gender so I get to choose the name!" Celestia also wouldn't budge on the issue.
"Alright how about we make this interesting Celly, whoever answers the most questions right gets to pick the name."
"Oh it is On!" Celestia's jaw clenched, her teeth on edge. (Author's note: apparently this line has to be in every fanfic, it's law I guess)
The two turned their fiery gazes from each other to their poor teacher. Fluttershy let out another little squeak.
Remember Fluttershy: it's for the foal, it's for the foal, you have to be brave, if they don't learn from you they might end up like Twilight, cooking without supervision, Fluttershy shivered slightly at this thought.
"I'll keep score," said a hyperactive pink party pony.
"Pinkie? How did you get here?" Fluttershy asked.
"I was in the carriage that you came in silly, you were too busy freaking out to notice. How did you think I got here, jumping through chapters or something?" responded Pinky Pie.
"Well, uhh I guess, umm I don't understand, let's just get started." "So first question: when a foal is teething and is getting fussy what do you do?"
Celestia raised her hoof, "Oooh you dip your hoof in brandy and let it suck, calms them right down."
Fluttershy 's jaw dropped, "What are you, insane? You never give a little foal alcohol!"
Luna remembered one of the books she read earlier, ‘Fifty facts and Fallacies about Foalhood’, and realized the answer.
"Oooh! You take a piece of frozen tangerine and have them suck on it, and take care they don't swallow the whole thing."
Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief, happy to know one of them could be trusted with a foal. "That's right Luna, although you can use other fruits as well as long as they are low on citric acids because they can upset the foals poor tummy."
Luna beamed and began to gloat.
"That's right Celly, looks like your not all that," Luna crossed her forelegs in front of her to imitate the singers on tv, "Boyyy!"
Celestia paused in shock and thought, Note to self: Take away Luna's tv privileges, and record her the next time she pulls that and blackmail her for all eternity.
"Oooh! It looks like this is gonna get good," chimed Pinkie Pie.