And Then There's These Mother Buckers
“Well, it took dayum near forever,” the young pegasus said, adjusting his black steston with a tired smirk. “But here we are.”
The griffon standing next to him nodded. His thick round goggles reflected a strip of wood that he was whittling to a fine point. The creature's razor-sharp beak chewed carefully on a toothpick, and his dual black lenses reflected flickering firelight from the busy tavern stretching before the two of them.
“But it begs bein' said.” The pegasus shifted the weight of a guitar case over his stone blue flank, revealing the cutie mark of a horseshoe covered in black tar. “I could think of a dozen different places I'd rather be. What do you think, Dubya-Cee?”
The griffon swung the toothpick to the opposite end of his beak. He stuck the wood and blade under his right arm and gestured with two talons—the left of which was an elaborate metal prosthetic with clicking digits.
After a few seconds, the pegasus snorted. “Hah! Easy for you to say!” He tilted the brim of his hat up, exposing hazel eyes as he grinned. “You chose this here job. And it's not like you can smell this seethin' flankhole from a hill of beans! What, with them lizard nostrils of yers.”
His feathery companion exhaled sharply, swiping the air with three angry talons. He tossed the knife back into his metal grip and resumed whittling.
“Hmmm... good point.” The pegasus scratched his scruffy chin, gazing at the tables and tables full of seedy patrons filling the smokey domain. “By shakin' things up, reckon we're makin' an improvement on this place. Heh...” He leaned back into the corner wall of the room, stifling a lazy yawn. “Y'know what I hate the most?”
The griffon shrugged.
“Even the bits that get hoofed through this place are rusty. Makes ya wonder why these varmints work so dayum hard for the shiet. I mean...” He glanced over, wagging his eyebrows. “Do they even have Mamas and Papas? Any foals or sisters to feed?”
The griffon paused again, his soul-less lenses reflecting his talons as they clicked and motioned in the air.
“'Cuz what else would drive a fool into callin' this den of vipers a home?!” the pegasus hissed. “I mean, take you and me for example. We make profit doin'... well... let's say 'complicated' stuff, ya feel me?”
His buddy nodded, chewing harder on his toothpick.
“But at least we've got the gumption to not stick around to one single place! A life like ours? Pffft... it can wear a pony down. Griffon too, I reckon.”
Talons swung through the air in zig-zags then returned to whittling.
“Please...” The stallion rolled his eyes. “The 'fear of Verlaxion' ain't got nothin' to do with... nothin'.” He pointed at the tables before them. “Folks who come here? It's cuz they're plum stuck here. Either the Syndicate's got them grabbed by the cajones, or they're addicted to coral. Ain't no excuses, though, cuz we both know it's that they're just... defeated. They done hopped off the train lifetimes ago, if ya catch my drift.”
The griffon swiped at the wood one last time. He held a thin splintery stalk up to the light. Satisfied, he sheathed his blade into a leather bandolier, tossed his toothpick to the floor, and replaced it with the fresh stalk in his beak. He leaned back, exhaling as he chewed and chewed.
“Good thang you and I are Desperados, eh, Dubya-Cee?” The stallion smirked, raising a hoof. “Cuz there ain't no gettin' off this train we're on.”
The griffon bro-fisted him without looking. A few seconds later, he gestured wildly in the air.
“Shhhh!” The stallion pulled the brim of his stetson down. “Keep it down, will ya?!” he whispered. “Squawkin' like that—you'll break our cover!”
His feathered friend sighed. A black tail flicked, attached to an athletic body with an even blacker coat.
“Just leave the talkin' to me,” said the pegasus, shifting the weight of his guitar case again. “As well as the fine articulate philosophizin'.” He shrugged. “You shoulda known what you were in for when you talked us into this job, mofo.”
The griffon swung a sharp talon through the air.
“T'ain't nonsense! Take a look for yerself!” He pointed across the tavern. “Not a single pair of eyes in this places harbors a Verlaxion-dayum soul! You wanna get richer overnight, speedy?”
The griffon tilted his head, his lenses reflecting the stallion's smirking muzzle.
“The next pony who trots in through that door... the very next equine.” He pointed hard at the swinging doors, squinting. “If he dun look the least bit alive, then you owe me ten bits from our earnin'!”
A metal talon clicked inquisitively.
“Pfft! Of course the bet goes both ways!” He rolled his eyes. “What do ya take me for, a cheapskate?”
The griffon looked at him.
“Heh. Point taken.” The stallion shrugged his shoulders. “Like yer gonna get a single cent richer!” The sound of hoofsteps lit the hazy air. “See? Just look! And learn to...” The stallion's muzzle dropped as his voice took on a breathy tone. “...t-to live with yerself...” He gulped. “Hell's Bells...”
Rainbow Dash strolled into the saloon, glancing left and right. The firelight caught every shimmering hue of her prismatic mane, introducing color to the otherwise dismal abode. No less than ten seconds later, Theanim Mane strolled in, though the shadows greatly devoured his figure in contrast.
A sharp whistle flew over the pegasus' black stetson. He rolled his eyes and smirked aside. “Please...” He batted the open metal palm away and sneered, “That dun mean nothin'! Just... just give it a few minutes.”
Sighing, the griffon swung his talons through the air.
“Yes. I know... I know. And I see 'em... but... y'know... who's rushin'?” He smirked, leaning back against the metal wall. “Tain't no other way to get this here job done than the Desperado way. Besides, don't you believe in miracles, Dubya-Cee?”
Rainbow Dash blinked. She stared across the lengths of the saloon, looking left and looking right. At last, her face pouted.
“This place sucks. Let's try the next one.”
“Rainbow, darling,” Rarity floated alongside her. “You've said that about the last three establishments! Why don't you give this place a chance?”
Rainbow glanced aside. “Do you seriously wanna stay here any more than I do?” she whispered.
“Well...” Rarity squirmed in midair. “No. But that's not the point.”
“Think of Pinkie, Rainbow,” Twilight said. “Echo's the key to everything!”
“Eughh...” Rainbow face-hoofed. “I swear, if you guys are gonna use that angle to guilt-trip me every time...”
“Don't be ridiculous.” Twilight smiled. “Only until it's time for Applejack or Fluttershy!”
“You know, this would be a whole lot easier if one of you girls had a 'shady-pony-sense' instead of what you've already got.”
“Beggars can't be choosers, darling.”
“Meh.”
Theanim strolled in until he stood side to side with Rainbow. “Whatever your ghostly companions are telling you, Miss Dash, I suspect you should pay heed to them.”
“How can there be so many friggin' taverns in a city this miserable?!” Rainbow's voice cracked.
“I do believe the adequate term for this place is a 'drinking bar,'” Theanim said with a pleasant smile.
“Do they serve apple cider here?”
“Uhm...” The stallion blinked. “I seriously doubt it.”
“Then it's no drinking bar.” Rainbow turned tail. “Let's make like a Durandanan and blow.”
“Not quite so swiftly, my good mare,” Theanim said, holding her in place by a wing. He gazed into the far corner of the place, his grin growing and growing. “...for I do believe that we've found what we're looking for. Or—rather—who.”
“Wait...” Rainbow craned her neck, squinting. “For real?”
She followed the doctor's eyesight—landing on a small table populated by a single patron: a thin waif of an equine clad from head to tail in a thick black cloak.
“Are you kidding?” Rainbow's ears drooped. “The one dude in the whole place wearing a cloak and hood?”
“But of course. I can spot Echo's style from a mile away.”
“Not in the sunlight, you can't.”
“And thank you for making the case for me.” Theanim winked, then shuffled forward. “Allow me to lead the way. Best not to startle the old chap.”
“This seriously can't be that easy.”
“By Verlaxion's graces, it is, my dear.”
Rainbow's nostrils flared. Slowly, she shuffled after the doctor. “Twi? Rares? Sense anything... wonky?”
“Can't say that I do, Rainbow,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “Everything's... magically sound.”
Rarity smiled. “I'd say we should trust the good doctor.”
“Hmmmf... if you say so,” Rainbow muttered. “But if this ends up biting us in the flank, then it's you guys who are receiving a good headache.”
“You're welcome to attempt cashing that check, darling,” Rarity said, summoning a giggle from Twilight.
Rainbow sighed, but in no time at all she was squatting at the table alongside Theanim Mane.
The cloaked figure seated there shook with a jolt. The hood raised, and a column of green smoke rose out of the blackness within. Finally, a sickly, hoarse voice billowed forth: “Uhm... plenty of tables to be taken in this fine establishment, ya bit divers.”
“Please, your stealthy pleasantries have no effect on me,” Theanim droned.
Rainbow leaned forward. “Are you Echo?!” she asked sharply.
“Hisssss!” The figure leaned back, exhaling more green smoke. “The Hell is this? Buzz off! I'm... I-I'm waiting for somepony important!”
“Somepony more important than a very old friend?” Theanim raised his goggles and leaned into the light. He smiled gently. “Don't tell me you've replaced sensibility with loneliness, dear chap.”
The figure froze. A hairy fetlock poked out of the cloak's sleeve. “Theams...?”
The doctor smiled. “The very same...”
“Is...” His hooves reached up, lowering the hood. A bleary face chewed on the end of a long narrow pipe. Slitted green eyes—bloodshot red—peered out from a charcoal muzzle with leafy ears. “Is it really you, Theams?” A pair of fangs glinted as he chewed harder on the cigar. “Verlaxion's sleet, you must be desperate as all frozen Hell to be bothering me down here.”
“To be desperate is to live here, old friend.” Theanim nodded. “Indeed, I'm in need of your assistance.” He sighed, looking the stallion up and down. “And I suspect you're in need of mine.”
“That's a matter of opinion.” The slitted eyes glanced aside as Echo exhaled more green smoke from his pipe. “Who's the bird?”
“The... reason I need your assistance. Her name is Rainbow Dash.”
“Egads,” Echo grumbled, slitted eyes twitching. “You've found somepony even fruitier than you, ya bastard.”
“Rainbow...!” Twilight gasped, pointing with wide eyes. “I... I don't believe it! It's—”
“A sarosian?” Rainbow stammered. “You mean to tell me you're a friggin' sarosian?”
“Hrmmmff...” Echo twirled the pipe to the other end of his black muzzle. “What the hell did you expect, Jezebuck? A Queen-humpin' canine?”
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I like this WC gryphon character.
Yep, Laughter is definitely what this town needs.
CONFIRMED. Echo is batpone. Yay.
HA
6120798
Actually, I was thinking about this this morning, because I'm still suspicious of the Syndicate. Perhaps there is a third option.
They did, but they didn't.
Perhaps there's some rogue individual or faction in the Synidcate that had something to do with this. It seems a little unlikely that the Synidcate would sabotage that which they take care of in general and funds them. Maybe there's a power play going on, and someone's wisened up to it and is trying to root out the trouble.
Or perhaps, this faction is the one setting up the password. Those guys seemed to take a moment before deciding on what fee Theanim had to pay in order to pass.
*shrug* I dunno. The whole thing is extremely rotten.
Eeee!
..........?
Well, I
Um
uh
....
nooooo
Yay, more lizard people! And I'm not sure about the Pegasus and griffon...
Thirty push-ups and thirty sit-ups, ):(. Knock 'em out!
A seemingly mute gryphon....I like it.
Dash is talking to herself again?
heeeeeeeeeeeee~
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/4e/f8/22/4ef822b9efa498145c70ccff31988d1f.jpg
salty hood wearing batpone smoking green cigars in a city with with a certain name making cracks about diamond dogs i literally cant breathe aahahahahaaaauaghghgugh
6123398
Congrats! You're officially cannon.
Also, you're now the ranger. You'll find your bow and arrows by the punch bowl and your long lost kingdom hidden in the woods o'er yonder.
6123398
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/12/22/503601__safe_solo_oc_solo+female_animated_oc+only_happy_bat+pony_fwslash-mlp-fwslash_mare.gif
Well, that would just be silly.
Also, I'm not sure what to make of the pegasus and gryphon. Friends? Foes? Miscellaneous?
Hmmmm.
The Griffon, the griffon. Something about the griffon...
6123487
I suspect that they might have had a han...hoof in those "mysterious" fires. They way they're talking, it sounds like they have a tendency to get a little "dirty" as it were.
6123506
That's a good theory. But to what end? Working for the Syndicate? Against it?
6123534
Doesn't sound like they're in favor of the Syndicate (or really Rust in general). I'm thinking they side with whoever has the biggest pocketbook, who might be a third party at the moment.
I wonder who these two could be? Dubya-C? Double C? What could be the reference here? Perhaps we'll find out in the next chapter.
-Spirit (Yeast and Treacle)
Hmmm, is this introducing antagonists, or allies?
Not sure if this story will have the large cast of the last ones. We shall see.
So, Echo is a bat pony. I wonder if he has any connections with the dark side. After all, bat ponies are part of the trinity war.
6123487
It's real simple:
They're mother buckers.
Oh my...
At this point, I think he's doing it on purpose to see if we notice.
So Rainbow Dash is losing it.
Cue Western Music!
That griffon is awesome. Don't much care for his friend though. Maybe that will change.
Sarosian...I keep forgetting that's what bat ponies are called.
-Memories given light,ease a lonely flight.Ynanhluutr
It was always Sarosians.
6123398 Sarosian? Yes.
Bat Pony? not necessarily. Until he shows his wings he ain't no bat pony
6123548 Hope it's not short for watercloset... heh
6123817
just let me have this
6123817
No horn has been spotted either. Only the fuzzy/leafy ears that probably liked to be scratched and I just realized that a small microscopic portion of my soul still exists. I'll being crying in that corner if anyone needs me.
6123785 Some other people on the site have used "thestral" instead of sarosian, though.
6117212 In regards to the cat stories, I forgot to link them.
As for Verlax, I presumed as much. With Luna admitting to be able to handle pluralized speech, I would expect Velax to also have the potential to think in two places at the same time so-to-speak.
6123840 6123838
Well, here's to hoping he might be similarly gifted to a certain other sarosian I recall from a certain mare's tale
Hmm Desperados? Nice
6123834 What?
I take it, given the Desperados, that this will be a Magnificent Seven collection of tales, given the 5 harmony ghosts added in will take them up to the full Jury of 12?
Lets say its at most 6000 miles from ValRoa to KMCA, and that the fall of the Blight has had more than minor observable effects even as far as teh city on that side. How fast can those airships move? I saw 120 mph as being reasonable. 600 miles in 5 hours, 6000 miles in 2 days.
Rourkes BattleCarrier will be a Lot faster.
Talk about the Ultimate Checkovs Gun. she can arrive at any time, with essentially no warning.
The Durandanans Cumulonimbus Township will take a fair bit longer, but still only a couple weeks or so.
The merchants are coming, the merchants are coming.
I really hope Dash doesnt start trying to make rubbish jokes about WC.
6124051 WC -> water closet, an uncommon (around here) term for bathroom or lavatory
6124148 120mph seems slow seeing as Rainbow had difficulty keeping pace with them, probably as much as double that.
Also I like the mute griffin with the metal limb, tats really cool.
And here we have the next chapter title to go into the 'Classy' section of Austraeoh Museum.
Heh, I get the bat pun for Echo, since bats use echoes to "see" their way around...
Remember Theanim's chapter? "And then there's this melon fudge?" Hints on them being very close to the plot.
We shuld figure out how "mother bucker" stands relative to "melon fudge", so we know how friendly or foeish they'll be.
A griffin with a prosthetic claw is no replacement for a cybernetic mare, but good effort.
However, it is interesting to see someone with some sort of sign language. I don't remember many stories with something similar.
And Echo has been revealed!
Either I've missed the name of the bar, or it wasn't mentioned, but I secretly wish it's named "The Belfry"
6123670 He lives for our witty comebacks.
6122026 We're counting on you IC. Please don't let us down,
All this talk of desperadoes has me thinking someone needs to burst into song.
I haven't sung that song since seventh-grade glee club, more decades than I care to admit ago, and it's still fresh in my memory. Send help!
Those "Desperados" definitely piqued my interest. I hope they become travelling companions.
Nice to see Echo really is a sarosian.
6123840
You just had to go there, didn't you?
Well, that's an interesting expression...
Oh IC...
And we're getting more characters, a mute griffon and a desperado pegasus, now to see if they'll follow Dash or try to cause trouble for her
Dash still isn't hanging from a cage?
I didn't expect this.
Echo is best batpone
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/gyropedia/images/2/2d/407725_safe_oc_cute_-mlp-_bat_pony_artist-colon-equestria-dash-prevails_echo_top_gun_top_bat.png/revision/latest?cb=20131005030729
Oh, wait. It seems Echo is a common name.
6123647 L-lewd...
6123398 Don't get too excited, I got excited and got a bullet in my head for my character.... Then again he hasn't been killing many ponies lately.
But do you not love your cyborgs. Guy has me thinking of DreamKeepers again. Heh, good old Scinter.
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/dreamkeepers/images/8/8e/Charscinter.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110223133034
Echo is a Thestral? Eeee! That's much more fun than a Changeling.
Why must these chapters be posted so damn early in the morning? I'm always going to be late to these now.
Anyways, I too like this seemingly mute griffon. The redneck, slightly less. I don't know how I feel about the thestral.
6125109
I'm really a happy go lucky optimist, I really am. It's just these stories do something to me. They make me ebil and want to see others suffer as much as I have. I'll go back to my cold dark corner now.
6125417
I thought you were a school? Did the school get shot? When did that happen?