Every Stronghold Deserves To Be Looted
“Three thousand four hundred and fifty... three thousand four hundred and seventy-five... aaaaand... there we are!” The aged stallion hoofed out the last bar of currency in the afternoon sunlight. “Three thousand five hundred bits in miniature platinum bars.”
“Mrmmff...” Theanim Mane winced slightly as he struggled to bag all of the bars. He wobbled on the edge of a metal dock, then exhaled with relief. “Delightful. A true pleasure doing business with you.”
“The pleasure is all mine! I assure you!” The merchant chuckled, gesturing at the blue yacht bobbing in the waters beside them. “You are... certain you wish to go through with this contract? I mean... opportunities don't come my way this often.”
“The vessel works to the full extent of its operational capabilities, if that is what you need to know,” Theanim said with a grunt.
The merchant waved his hooves. “I meant no offense by it, Doctor. I'm just... well... I'm rather surprised you're getting rid of it in the first place! A stallion of your esteemed credentials doesn't usually take up housing in Rust.”
“Believe me,” Theanim grumbled. “I'm not staying.”
“Oh, my apologies.” The merchant blinked, smoothing back his gray mane. “I... I-I had just assumed—”
“We all must make bold new steps if we are to make it through this world.” Theanim sighed, his sad eyes falling one last time upon the hull of the Midnight Dreary. “By Verlaxion's Grace...”
“If you don't mind my asking, where exactly will you go?”
“... ... ...” Theanim bore a tired smile. “A very good question.” He looked up and winked. “Let's say that I'm... letting faith dictate the path.”
“Charming.” The merchant smiled. “I wish you the Queen's Speed.”
“Mrmmfffngh!” Theanim grunted as he slung the bag of bars and bits over his shoulder. “As I to you.”
“Would you... erm... like an escort across town, Doctor?” the merchant asked, glancing nervously at the stallion and the rattling bag he was hauling. “It isn't entirely safe to trot from one platform to another in Rust with that many bits out in the open. I wish such wasn't the case...”
“Do not worry,” Theanim said, shuffling towards the southern drydocks where the Mark Two resided. “I'm not going very far. Not quite so soon, at least.”
“Oh... uhm... very well then.”
“Besides...” Theanim threw a swift glance over his shoulder, eyeing the distant spire of the Syndicate's Stronghold. “I'm not the one who needs to be worried about safety.” He gulped. “Or punctuality...”
“Seriously, why aren't they responding?” muttered one guard to another.
Two stallions huddled side by side in front of a thick metal door situated at the far end of the Syndicate's sixth floor corridor. The faint smell of garbage and sewage wafted in through the seams of the doorframe. The smaller of the two thugs pressed his hoof to the intercom next to the door for the umpteenth time.
“Hello?!” he stammered, frowning in confusion. “Are you guys okay out there? I swear, if the smell of rat piss made you faint again, I'm telling Boss Revan what weak pushovers you are!”
“Isn't it obvious?” muttered the taller thug.
“Is what obvious?”
“The morons have left their post,” the other stallion replied. “Probably decided to screw off and visit the brothel in East Dust.”
“Pffft... that place?!” The shorter one chuckled. “They'd be cleaner with the rat piss!”
“Still, Boss Revan deserves to know about this.” The taller one made to move out of the corridor.
“Naw, don't bother him, dude!” The other guard grabbed him by the shoulder. “He's paying us cuz we ain't stupid! For real! We've got this!”
“Then what do you propose?”
“Let's go out there and investigate.”
“We can't open the door! Not without word from the other side!”
“Well, lemme try the intercom again.” The stallion pressed the button several times. He grumbled in frustration. “I don't get it! Is it broken or what...?”
“Try taking a closer look,” cracked a voice from the shadows.
“Hey. Good idea.” Both stallions leaned up real close to the intercom. When their muzzles almost touched, they blinked curiously at one another. “Wait a sec... who said—?”
FWOOOOOSH! Rainbow zoomed out of the shadows, landing on their shoulders with her rear legs.
WH-WHAMMM! Both stallions slammed skull-first into the wall. With a mutual groan, both collapsed and fell hard to the floor, out cold.
Rainbow flipped off and landed neatly beside the door. She exhaled with relief, tossing her mane back.
“Well done, Rainbow!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Mmmmmm...!” Rarity had her eyes covered. “Is it over?”
“Chillax, Rares,” Rainbow said, shuffling up to the door. “They'll dream of rust, wake up with migraines, and live crappily ever after.”
“Ohhhhhh...” Rarity allowed herself a look. She fanned herself as she eyed the collapsed bodies. “How I do deplore senseless violence!”
“This time, though, it's not quite so senseless.”
“And at other times, darling?”
“Let's just reunite with our griffon buddy already,” Rainbow grumbled, trotting over the fallen stallions.
“Do you suppose Mr. Wildcard succeeded on his end?” Rarity remarked.
“Good question.” Rainbow slapped her hoof over the intercom's button. “Hey! Yo Wildcard! You out there?!”
“Rainbow!” Twilight hissed, her lavender coat rising up like a cat's. “That was completely and utterly stupid on so many levels!”
“... ... ...” Rainbow slowly pivoted her head towards Twilight with a bright-eyed grin.
Twilight rolled her eyes.
“Snkkkttt... heeheeheehee!” Rainbow giggled.
Rarity fought it and fought it... but eventually broke out into a dainty laugh.
“Unnnngh...” Sighing, Twilight floated through the wall. “Let me have a look.”
“Yeah... heehee... you do that,” Rainbow said with a breathy chuckle.
A few seconds passed.
Finally, Twilight phased back into the interior chamber. Her coat looked a few shades paler.
“Well?” Rainbow cleared her throat. “Any sign of him?”
“Uhm... I-I-I'm not quite sure.”
“Whatever do you mean, darling?” Rarity asked.
“I... I couldn't see much of anything, really,” Twilight remarked, biting her lip.
“...” Rainbow looked at the door. She took a bold step forward, slapped the button next to it, and opened the thing with a metallic hissss. The rank smell of garbage wafted in, and Rainbow heard the ambient groan of Rust's intestinal corridors stretching on for hundreds of meters. Other than that, it was pitch black dark. Pressing a hoof to her pendant, she shone a ruby spotlight on the immediate vicinity outside the Stronghold.
Gradually, a set of limbs appeared, then another. At last, Rainbow's Element revealed four bloody and bruised guards tied to a broken lamppost, their heads reeling as they struggled with aching unconsciousness.
Rainbow and her fellow cohorts gawked. Then, out from the shadows behind Rainbow, a metal talon tapped her shoulder.
“Gaaaah!” Rainbow spun about, striking a dangerous pose with her front hooves. She stared into a pair of black lenses that emotionlessly reflected her gaping expression. “Jeebus... Jeebus Jehosafarts!” She sneered through gritting teeth. “Seriously! Would it kill you to dangle wind chimes from your tail or something?”
Wildcard merely shrugged. He pointed up the long, thin corridor.
“Yeah...” Rainbow shuddered, stepping in and shutting the door behind them. Schwisssh! “Before the smell of garbage awakens the sleeping beast.”
Wildcard nodded. Sch-Schiiing! He produced two nightsticks and slinked on ahead, becoming one with the shadows.
Rainbow gulped and flapped her wings to keep up with the mercenary. “... ... ...you two are silent, all of the sudden.”
“Yes, well...” Twilight nodded, smoothing her bangs back with a shivering hoof. “We've got a very serious task at hoof.”
“Besides...” Rarity whimpered. “...I've just now become acquainted with the fact that a ghost unicorn cannot make sissy in a spontaneous fashion.”
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LOL
Hard to piss your pants without a bladder. Or operational organs, for that matter.
The advantages of being mute it seems. Wildcard must have been a veritable boogeyman to those poor clods.
...Verlax's sleet Rarity...really?
-Memories given light, ease a lonely flight. Ynanhluutr.
Wildcard being badass as usual. He's a fine ally, and I hope he sticks around for a while... If Bard can stop being a dingus.
Whoa...TMI there, Mallowghost.
If Leon the Professional was a griffon.
"But what about looting?
If you vote for me, I promise that will not only lead you to success but also loot everybody in the vicinity of our destroyed town to help in the rebuilding efforts."
Given how dark the hallways are, I'm surprised Wildcard can see anything through those goggles.
Well it's good to know that he made it ok, I just hope his partner isn't screwing everyone over upstairs.
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
Seems I've missed quite a party!
ech, theanim is makin me feel bad, and i ain't even the one havin him sell his boat
Silly Twilight, that's how you know it's working!
Expertly timed scene with Theanim selling his boat. Just as I sold my old car... it's funny how you get attached to objects like that without ever noticing, and when the time comes to let them go, it's unexpectedly hard...
I'll be in the corner over here having heavy thoughts and being sad if anyone needs me...
7 Books, 1312 chapters in, 2,110,141 words read , and I have finally caught up. Hi everypony, how y'all doin'?
I'm going to bed now.
Awesome story by the way SS&E
You can always try and see if you can possess someone else's body, Rarity. Then you can try sissy.
6203802 Good to have you aboard for the ride from here on out!
Seems that "delightfully villainous" feeling has already worn off. No time to go marshmallowy on us yet, Rares. This is likely just the prelude to even more skull-cracking.
6203140
With the eloquence of a house-plant.
Does ghost urine still smell? Or can only ghosts smell it?
Damn it Rarity, now you've got me thinking about sp00ky physics.
6203140 He'd lose 20 coolness points. Of course he'd also lose those if he was a dragon or a pony or a Norwegian or anything else really, since he would no longer be Jean Reno.
6203802 Welcome to the crowd. More = Merry.
Im thinking more and more that Wildcards googles are either magically enhanced, or at the least, are solar powered night vision crystals like what was used in WW2.
Theanim shouldve made that merchant even more paranoid, by suggesting he restocked the Dreary for a very long voyage, before the end of the day.
Hes going to need it.
Dash and Wildcard are now doing a Return Of The Jedi run through the maintenance and access tunnels into the heart of th fortress, the reac, Vault?
For some reason Wildcard is starting to remind me of Riddik.
Oh Scarity...
6204537
Was that intentional?
6204240
(thinks about it)
well, that's... very fitting, actually
Well, I'd say this is going great so far! Looks like nothing will go wrong whatsoever!
And then, suddenly . . . Robo Shell.
6206207 WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT
6206668
Shell: the only villain that literally has my skin crawl at the mere mention of his name.
Rares, you were totes excited for this a couple chapters ago. How's Dash gonna dashing without a couple cracked skulls?
6205140
Eenope!
...
...
...yes. Yes it was.
6203422 Welcome back, smexy pegasus!
6206690 I love books and movies, and I have seen some awful villains that just don't know how or when to die, at the end of the day though even the worst of them were just villains. But him? his is a name that even I Don't speak Lightly. He was worse than just a a villain. He was Something else entirely. I literally had to stop reading the story for a week after the final arc he was in, because of how emotionally invested I was in this story and how Hard that Piece of writing hit me.
I'm guessing that Rarity is enjoying this on the level of why people enjoy horror games--she likes to be scared. Something tells me that by the end of this, she's going to get a lot more than she bargained for.
6203422 Welcome back. The Prismatic Harem is made all the more colorful by your presence.
6206668
bro, the best ones always come back eventually. Even the dead ones.
It's coming together.
-Spirit (Yeast and Treacle)
6203422 Welcome back to the Lunar Ninth!
6203802 Welcome to the Lunar Ninth! Congratulations on catching up.
6202989
Or pants
the catchupening part 3
Hmm... Rarity should've been able to sense him waiting on the other side.
Poor Rares not being able to piss herself.
6207518
Yeah. I don't think I'll ever see a Horror Movie Villain as horrifying as him. And what's scarier is. I still don't think he's dead.
With how many times he's been "killed", only to come back stronger, eviler, and more insane than before. And since he had just affixed his daughters horn on his skull like a tainted necromancer ... I get terrified just thinking of the bugger, and I don't scare easily. Well other than Evil Within. I'll admit that game scared the dickens out of me, but Shell is worth a hundred Evil Withins.
7043868 next April Fool's thing is gonna be Shell reappearing for whatever reason, probably.
7136503
*Shudders*. It'd be even more of an evil prank, if was for real.
After all Necromancy and possessions story-cannon now.
I have a bad feeling about this. The reason they didn't want to leave on the Midnight Dreary was that its departure would look suspicious right after the heist.
Pretty sure that selling a boat in a hurry and buying passage on the Arrowfish also raises some red flags.
You know, recently I’d been feeling like Twilight was almost acting out of character, being okay with Dash getting violent, even if it’s for the right reason.
Now I realize I was wrong. I know this was written before the movie, but in the MLP Movie, Twilight made the wrong choice for the right reason, for the greater good of Equestria. So I realize she really isn’t acting out of character at all.
Well at least the subterfuge group is doing OK.
YOU HEAR THAT BARD?! DON'T YOU DARE BE AN ASSHOLE.