AHH man this was awesome!

I loved the build up at the very end to "crud" haha!

Can't wait to read more!!!!

Let me know if you find any spelling errors and such. Tell me what you like and what I can improve on please. This is my first real fanfic.

All I can say is it has a very interesting narrative and carries at a decent pace.

The one thing I have wrog with it is it feels too short...but that's just me nit-picking.

Interesting. Very interesting.

I'd like to see where you'll take this.

There's nothing inherently wrong that I can easily point out.

I can only comment about possibly the walls of text I'm looking at.  Normally, I'd suggest breaking paragraphs up to make it easier on the readers' eyes, but I can't see any good places for you to do that.  

So... yeah.  Good start.  Hope to see more from this.

Huh.

Protagonist Shift is disguised as Dusk Shine.

Alternate universe Shift is disguised as Twilight Sparkle.

Due to the minutes apart that the two dimensions are, the real Dusk Shine activated the dimension spell first.

I wonder where this is going.

Any though to continue it?

TERTIUS!!!!

What... they're really changelings?

>>13865271386527

If you were referring to Shift and Sandy, the answer is only while they choose to be. They have all the physical characteristics of one when in that form. It makes them vulnerable to the same things as changelings are.

If you were referring to the green orbs, take a look at spike's eyes. Those are green.

Did Yami/Atem just perform a mind crush on me? Because I seem to be totally blown by this turn of events.

Hey Ralfil,

It's going to be kind of hard to write Shift into the story with this little detail, when I get to his chapter i'll shoot you a message, maybe use docs or something. Great story BTW, hope you continue it.

~Shadow_Dude33/Arche