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Twilight's twenty-first birthday is coming up and the girls celebrate in Canterlot's vibrant bars and clubs, Luna is invited too, although she is not entirely familiar with such activities. Alcohol fuelled adventures abound!
Oooh i hope the romance tag is for twiluna. Otherwise, liking the look of the story so far, looks to be setting up for some really good comedic elements.
The name for the morning meeting sounds much more like pinkie pie than applejack IMO, but enjoyable none the less
I like the light-hearted way in which this fiction is written. I can feel the cheer and bright colors of the show in your writing. Good stuff! I'll be following this 
I'd be interested to see how this will develop, seeing as how you mentionned alcohol 
Just one tiny thing though, I'm pretty sure "interestedly" is not a word. Might be wrong, but I never heard it before myself
Huzzah! I do so enjoy Twiluna and most fics where Twilight and Luna end up in the same general area. Odd things always happen when those two get together. I shall await to see where this story does head in the future.
Another Huzzah for the cover pic being the same as my avatar. I'm kinda surprised I haven't seen it on other Twiluna fics yet. Before you ask, no I didn't make the pic and honestly I can't even recall where I found it.
Getting drunk for your 21st birthday, eh?
"Sounds like a blast!"
"Just uh..."
"I wouldn't drink enough to lose control. Last thing I'd wanna do is wake up in some random pony's bed."
None of us would...hopefully.
"I've still got a while to go until I'm 21, but once I'm there, we'll see if it involves bars and nightclubs."
I think it'd be fun. Not much of a nightclub person though, mostly go there for the drinks and music, never really t' dance.
"Ohh, Steel, out on the dance floor with all the teenagers! I can just imagine the embarassment..."
Not cool, Rarity. Not cool at all...
"Oh, come now, dear. You know I pick on you like I do with Rainbow."
"I'd outclass him on the dance floor anyway!"
Pfff.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Huh? Oh, sounded like you were challenging me to a dance-off.
"You think I'm not?"
*Steel turns around to face Rainbow, raising an eyebrow.*
You've got a death wish, kid.
"Then you've got no problem taking the challenge."
*The two lean towards each other, foreheads touching, two pairs of eyes boring into each other.*
Time and place...
"Vinyl's place in Manehatten, 9 PM. Today."
You're on...
*Lightning seems to jump between as they grit their teeth, trying to psyche the other out.*
"And it's gone from a story about my drunken birthday, to Steel and Rainbow having a dance-off...Well, Miss Scratch, I hope you're prepared. You've never really seen anyone dance like Steel..."
"I pray for the souls of all those poor children stuck in the same room as those two. Probably going to get smashed before hitting the floor..."
Me? Get smashed before dancing? You know it. I wouldn't be caught dead going dancing while being sober!
I'm going to follow this and see where it goes... But the writing is awkward, and you're having a rough time narrating in between sections of dialogue, and you're telling, not showing. Also, it was hard to understand some of the lines. Re-reading something five times is frustrating.
Hope you improve by next chapter.
So far, This has been
The mods are trolls, I swear. This showed up in the feature box RIGHT next to "Inner Demons".
EDIT: Have read now. Twi, methinks Celestia would be fine with hitting the bars. And challenging the particularly belligerent and obnoxious patrons to drinking contests to pay them out. Oh, and is this Twiluna or Twilunestia?
"I doubt Princess Celestia would want to go out to bars, Applejack. Luna might though, I'll ask."
Oh right nice one Twilight, completely deny that Celestia needs to have a little fun once in a while to get away from the demanding and stressful job of diarch and instead choose her sister. If you're so sure that she wouldn't want to go, you could've asked so she wouldn't feel ignored. For shame Twilight, for shame.
Has potential, but please get someone to proofread it. I noticed several grammar errors and some sentences/descriptions that don't work;
For example: Luna, the book and the dessert, why it's that holding both didn't work?
Leaving aside that somepony like Twi or Rare, can hold several different things in her dweomers at the same time and with good control, which follows that Luna should be able too. You lost a chance for some small comedy, like adding that she got them mixed up and started munching on the book absentmindedly .
Finally it feels a little rushed at times, pace yourself.
Hope to see it improve and waiting for more
You have a point with the magic. And that would've been funny.
My style is generally short, sweet and to the point, which does appear rushed to some people, but I have now spent six weeks on this and still haven't finished. 
My point is, I don't rush. Short. Sweet. Concise. Yummy. Just like an episode in fact.
Because I love you all so much, here's chapter two early!
I cannot express how much all your support and kind words mean to me.
I sincerely hope you enjoy the rest of the story, an fyi for anyone interested, it'll be under 20k, and as most of my work is, it's short and sweet, don't expect anything epic or stuff. I'll also upload every 3-4 days, depending on my amount of free time.
Thank you again, I've been squeeing so much over this. 
Well, for having read the first chapter less than five minutes ago, I'm rather pleased. This story is shaping up to be a good one so far. But are you implying that the Doctor is Matt Smith by having him out of custard...?
Also, I did notice on typo. "...do I lit a fire in the living room for you."
-SoI
Applejack handed everypony tea or coffee, Pinkie insisted on both mixed together. After giving the pink party pony a few mildly concerned looks along with her her drink...
What, you've never tried it? Depending on the tea and coffee used, it's actually a delightful beverage.
"I even asked Doctor Whooves, and no custard to be found!"
A twiluna? BUCK YEAH.
Really great start though, seriously, looking forward to more. (Favorited!)
Keep up the ggod work!
regarding chapter 2:
So... to many says "Okie doke" that aren't suppose to say it...
Sometimes it's fine that Celestia hints that twilight and lune should "team up" but sometimes it just feels out of context (the lack of reason to do so)...
and J.K Foaling... really? *facepalm* maybe if you used the name of a decent author i could deal with it...
not sure if trustworthy or just trolling ಠ_ಠ
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haha
Image: http://www.suprlol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/1334441798756.jpg
ANOTHER!
But in all seriousness, great story. Can't wait for more.
Image: http://i.imgur.com/9HBGo.png
I get that now!
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