Interesting!

I really like the picture as well.

You have my attention, please proceed.   

This has the potential to be fun, I eagerly await the fruits of your efforts.

Not a bad start.  I wouldn't mind seeing where this goes.

A quibble....  The cover picture shows Luna in darkness, which is slightly odd for a story that takes place during the day.

Another quibble....  It's hard to see how Luna could be literally "older than Equestria itself" since we've seen how Equestria was founded (in the Hearth Warming story), and we were told unicorns controlled the sun and moon in those days.  There's no mention of Celestia and Luna being around -- and what would their cutie marks even mean?

The clock is ticking.

Image: http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/212/587/2667328774161692252111104.gif

Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kQoNOy_G5Ac/Tx1I8WOVcUI/AAAAAAAAAaI/l5vh5zRZRD0/s1600/kcaa.jpg

That is all. Thank you.

>>569929569929 For your first problem. The story takes place over many days and she tells stories (most of which she places at night since most of her memories are at night). I now the picture isn't an exact of the story, but it's supposed to be a small misdirection towards what will happen instead of what has happened.

As for your second, Luna is just boasting to children. It's common for an adult to try and stretch the truth to make themselves look and seem more interesting.

>>570005570005 You've got the idea .

Interesting. A tracking is in order.

Alt. ending suggestions:

Luna has no success, and comes back to the castle friendless. Following Celestia's inevitable scolding, Luna decides to pony up and turns into Nightmare Moon again.

One of Luna's friends is shapeshifted Discord/Chrysalis, who uses the opportunity to get close to Celestia and take them both out.

Potential friends:

DJ PON3 ("night"-life?)

Derpy (makes any story more fun)

Spike (Celestia said no Mane 6, but never no Mane 6's assistant!)

Trixie/Gilda

Future Shadowbolts

Iron Will

My interest has been doubled. A Luna story with the CMC. I do not see a dull moment coming in the near future.

Oh you know how to do a cliff hanger....

Derpy might make a cute friend.

I love the solemness that seems to come with the umbrella. Excellent prop choice, there. I love it.

I'm intrigued as well.

This pleases me. The humor is good and the potential for expansion as Luna travels around Ponyville drawing an ever greater crowd with her stories is pleasing. Storyteller Luna is almost as amusing as Gamer Luna (or at least has the potential to be).

>>573787573787 I won't disappoint. I plan to make this (or at least attempt) to be deep while also keep a very level humor and fair, reasonable story elements.

This is nice. I especially love the way everyone kept interrupting the narrative. I almost lost it when Smiles joined in. As for the Pentawhal-

[Murry!]

...as for Murry, I've only one thing to say...

Narwhals, Narwhals!

Swimmin' in the ocean,

causing a commotion

'cause they are so awesome!

Narwhals, Narwhals!

Pretty big and pretty white,

they'd beat a polar bear in a fight!

Like an underwater unicorn,

they have a kickass facial horn!

They are the Jedi of the sea!

"They stop Cthulhu eatin' ye!"

Narwhals! They are Narwhals!

Narwhals! Just don't let 'em touch your balls!

Narwhals! They are Narwhals!

Narwhals! Inventors of the shish kabob!

>>574215574215 Funny enough, I thought of that while in the car and I was just thinking to myself: "What's the most strange thing I can think of... Narwhals, Narwhals, swimming in the-- OF COURSE! A sand Narwhal-- NO! A sand Narwhal with five tusks-- NO! A Sand Pentawhal... Geniusly over the top."

This has great potential I do believe. And why are there no Luna emoticons?!

Murry is best Narwal!

The ending there made me cry a little bit.  Thank you.

>>601663601663 Thank goodness . I thought it came out a little too lame.

It will be interesting to see your take on Luna's feelings during her banishment. I look forward to more.

Awww poor Wuna!

Very good story.

I don't get the star swirl story it's some kind of joke and I missed the punch line?

>>730236730236 It's to set up future stories as well as establish that Luna had some sort of relationship wish Star Swirl.

>>732949732949

ah ok, thanks. the only thing I can say then is that I want the future stories now.

>>733780733780 It's getting there.

LoL that was pretty evil of Luna, I love it

Ah, tales to stiffen a fillie's tail with fright. Well played my Princess.

"had planned to very well finish all the choirs before the storm arrived,"

While I'm sure Applejack has a lovely singing voice I'm pretty sure you meant chores.

"The cowpony made a final effort to corral the wondering sheep"

Wandering

"we're missin' a part of this hear story"

Here

>>762858762858 Thank you very much, I finished writing the story around 4 AM so I forgot to check over for the correct words. I'll fix it straight away.

*Manly tears shed along with Luna*

Dun dun dunnnnnnnn

i forsee a large cloud of fog surrounding canterlot in the future.....or maybe not.

> "...Ya' brought a princess home?"

I half expected an answer of "She followed us. Can we keep her?"

>>762858762858

Well, maybe... But they could have been deeply philosophical sheep so deep in thought they ignored their surroundings until Winona yipped at them.

>>935382935382

This

Oh yeah EDIT:

Dear author,

Nice story

Reader.

Luna's been taking trolling lessons from her sister?