The True Horror Of the Great And Powerful Trixie
My name is D I've come from an alternate version of ponyville itself. Normally you would be thinking how is anything like that possible well i'll explain it all along with the crisis that came upon me. It was her that started all this it was her....IT WAS HER WHO'S RESPONSIBLE AND IT'S HER that made Ponyville a living hell it was a long time ago about a month to be exact i was always alone but it wasn't exactly my fault i was carefree, ponyville was in peace pegasus doing their usual thing, unicorns and earth ponies alike all lived in harmony in this one place. But that didn't last too long though i was told about a week ago about the tyranny of a unicorn that would use the ancient relic the alicorn amulet as a dreaded weapon to take over the world.This Puzzled me at first but then i just snapped Trixie was the only unicorn that managed to get her hands on the amulet "but no..that's not possible twilight beat her the amulet is gone isn't it?" these were the questions i asked myself as i'm walking down main street to my house.i have only seen small visions or dreams about this this is one of them.......
Trixie the great and powerful trixie as she calls herself wasn't exactly all the great or powerful. At first originally she came to ponyville for the first time to showcase her magical abilities and prove she was the best of all. Although she DID get the attention that she was asking for it was not the attention she was looking for embarrased in front of everyone and beaten by Twilight Sparkle for the first time she left ponyville...for a time, then she came back again with more of a purpose that time with the alicorn amulet she had everything, almost everything if it wasn't for twilight's wit and zecora's aid she might've succeeded in her takeover of ponyville. but she lost again....... To Twilight Sparkle.As Far As me.....well let's go back to my time for a second where she really is the great and powerful, where she really has taken over.
"Finally! Finally! After all these years Ponyville is mine." Trixie Said Cheerfully.
"You won't get away with this Trixie! you've destroyed Almost everything you've taken down the princesses and nearly killed twilight and her friends you have it all now what more could you want?!"
"You pitiful fool don't you get it? this isn't what i always wanted at first. I only wanted attention to get noticed for my Magical talent but i was humiliated in front of everyone.Everywhere i went i was a laughing stock people throwing rotten vegetables at me, i couldn't eat or sleep i had to find a job just so i could have a Chance Of Living! The only way you can get some order in this world is FORCE there is no other way."
"So you enslave everypony?! you robbed everyone of their lives. cut off all the unicorns horns, tortured the earth ponies,and forced the pegasus to control this outrageous acid thunderstorm of yours. don't YOU get it? If you keep this up there won't be anything left to take over."
"What're you talking about? even if i did stop now it'd be too late for you or all of ponykind. no one can stop me now with this alicorn amulet back where it belongs i have all control surely you've seen the statue that i built in my honor. Trixie Said with a cunning smile.
"Yeah i seen it and i know what it's used for your sucking the very life force out of all types of ponies each time you use the amulet." I said.
("Laughs) clever boy but i must dismiss you from my presence i have more important things to do than quarrel with scum like you.
"Dammit you bastard you'll get what's coming to you yet Trixie!" I said Angrily.
"We'll see. Trixie replied back.
(That's how she is now, A tyrant or horrible tyrant who plans on dominating everything. She has complete control if this keep up than ponies everywhere will cease to exist. All of twilight's friends have been spared of their lives barely...and Trixie took Twilight to the depths of her royal chamber somewhere....i don't know what she's doing to her but i can only imagine the worse she finished off my family and destroyed everything i loved, i hardly have anything left but luckily i have a plan,to build a time machine go back into the past and i don't know what to do after that but i'll figure it out. You won't get your way Trixie soon it'll be all over.)
Back in Trixie's royal chamber she has twilight locked up in shackles beaten within an inch of her life horn cut off In a dark dim lit room with candles. She hasn't eaten in weeks and hasn't been able to escape that dark room ever since she was sealed in it.
"Twilight i thought i pay you a visit how's it going?"
"Don't you come to me with that! you did this to me you tortured me i....i.....i owe you nothing." Twilight said.
"AW Twilight don't be like that i've given you a chance your lucky, (starts laughing) i could have you killed you personally by myself but where's the fun in that? i want to see you suffer. But don't worry you get lucky one day and you might get out....maybe..... (chuckles evilly and slams the door).
I woke up in realization this is the future?! no i can't let that happen she has to be stopped Trixie i'll Never Forgive You for this you will be stopped!
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5703953 While it is probably a self-insert, the author could just be writing in first person.
5703964 True, but not all OC's are directly based off of the person who made them. Mine takes only my basic qualities and changes them. For example Thunder is braver, smarter, stronger, more helpful then me. But he also gets angrier and is prone to angry fits more than me. I tried to make Thunder more of what I want myself to be, more than what I am.
5703995 Yeah... I guess I didn't pull that off the way I wanted to. Just a couple of things wrong with what you said.
1.) I'm not bullied, at least not what I consider bullying. I made Thunder the way he is so he could help people better than I ever could.
2.) He never was an Alicorn, at that point he was a Draconicorn, a Unicorn with specific Draconic powers, such as flight, harder skin, and breath weapon. At this point though, he's a pegasus, I just haven't changed my profile pic yet.
But yeah, I suppose it is a self-insert. I don't fully consider it such since Thunder isn't me at all.
Wow...
Serious capitalization and punctuation errors here, and you need to break up the paragraphs.
Also, stopping to tell us, in parenthesis, that Trixie is a tyrant was a bad idea. Show us that she' a tyrant now.
You should read the Elements of Style. There is no better book for a writer, especially an inexperienced one.
ill get to the errors when i can but hey if u don't like the story don't read it you don't have to read it anyway im doing the best i can here so give me time
5704850 How will we know if we like the story or not if we don't read it first? It being your first fic doesn't excuse the poor spelling or grammar. I strongly suggest an editor and a proofreader.