Sequels2

T

This story is a sequel to Kind Hearts & Coronets


“My name’s Daisy Jo Martinez. I was born – or so my birth certificate says – on March 30, 2012. I’m married with two kids, my husband’s a Naval officer. I’m originally from a town just outside of DC called Winchester, Virginia – apple capital of America, yay, go me. I’m a Republican – that tends to shock a lot of people – and I’m a practicing Catholic – and that tends to shock more people than the first, and like I said, I’m married – I think people start passing out at that point. I've lived a happy, charmed life and I’m proud to be an American.

“And as you can also see, I’m a pony. Well, physically anyway."


The first main story of The All-American Girl Saga.
TV Tropes page
Selected as "Humans Aren't Bastards" Group's Mods' Choice July 2013

Chapters (27)
Comments ( 1738 )

I saw the description and thought "Intriguing..."
Then I saw the wordcount and the incomplete tag.
Definitely going to have to read this.

24k words off the starting line? Commitment detected!

DAMN! 24k words huh? I'm definantly going to have to give this a look...

Holy cow.
That's a doozy of a word count. :pinkiegasp:
Defiantly reading this when I have the time.
Intriguing description.

-Republican
-Catholic
-Pro Military
-Proud to be American
. . . . your husband is a lucky man. (I'm VERY jelly!)

Damn... and this is incomplete? I wasn't sure about this when I saw the summary but I thought what the hell and gave it a shot. You've crafted a one hell of a character, melded our words together in way I really haven't seen before. You've made both sides... for lack of a better word and no insult, human. The ponies aren't perfect, and the humans aren't raving monsters. The tests DJ had to endure makes sense, even the conflict with her birth family, which was more or less resolved perfectly because Celestia and Sweetie Belle were right (and Celestia, I think, had ever right to be ticked at the Bearers), it would have torn Equestria apart. I wonder were you will go with this, will Rarity "man" up and acknowledge her daughter and grandchildren? Will DJ deiced to see Equestria once again? Will we find out how we made contact with Equestria?

Oh and one thing it should be TakaraTomy-Hasbro

In the Name of Her Serene Majesty Celestia Everfree
Celestia's Paladin: For Honor and Duty, For the Sun and Moon

570374

Actually, I know about the Takara/Tomy merger; I just figure that the US subsidiary would be simplified. After all, we're not calling the current company Hassenfeld Bros. anymore. Also, it was explained how they found our world: Twilight and Pinkie went fourth wall spelunking.

Amazing. Simply... amazing! This is perhaps one of the best fics I've read since MLP became as popular as it has. And I mean that through ALL the genres of fics I've ever read. The word count and header attracted me, but now that I finished it... this is a spectacular story! YOU have some excellent writing skills, my friend! Great job! and if at all possible, I'd LOVE to hear some more about the life and times of Daisy Jo Martinez! :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

A couple things:

When DJ is quoting a pony, you missed a few instances of their 'dialect.' Inhuman -> Inequine, that sort of thing.

Did you use Equestriani to differentiate from equestrian sport? It's a little jarring.

I can't imagine Rarity being as cruel and heartless as she is for so long. I understand her doing anything to get her Sandalwood back, but when she fails, I'd think she'd want to be involved in whatever small way she could. Rarity isn't intolerant, she just cares very much for appearances and proper behaviour. Things that, you know, are choices for an individual to make. She could very easily fall prey to that motherhood complex, but I can't see her disowning her first-born.
Applejack, in my eyes, would be the one more likely to hold on to stubborn, intolerant views. Remember Bridle Gossip? Perhaps Rainbow Dash as well, until somebody/pony explained to her that DJ was being loyal to the only family she knew.

I still enjoyed the story, though.

Okay then. I shall read this for the 24K chapters.

*applause* VERY well done! My one complaint (aside from the standard occasional typo) is that you used the term "Equestriani". Why not just Equestrian? Also, when DJ was meeting other ponies for the first time I was reminded rather strongly of the end of My Little Dashie. I saw in the A/N that you had not read it until you had written this... hm. Oh yes, and the alternate MLP history was very intriguing, even if it doesn't make much sense.

570412

DJ's relating things from her point of view, and since she was essentially raised as a human, so human standards apply.

I used Equestriani, because to me it seems more like a demonym than Equestrian. Equestrian (and thus Equestria) means horse RIDER, so Equestria means Land of the Horse Riders. I know most people use the other version, but to me the change seems more realistic.

Exactly why I chose Rarity. She prefers things in their proper place, and a pony is a pony is a pony, regardless. but for any/everyone (any/everypony?) there's always a bridge too far. Rarity chose the easier option; she's done that before as well. Only later on will we see if she actually changes her ways.

570383
I guess that would work, TakaraTomy is just know as Takara here.

Leave it to Pinkie Pie.. wait Twilight? Did she try to figure out how Pinkie works again?

570433

Actually, there's a historical precedent for the MLP pause. In the late 70s, Hasbro had an expensive horse toy (that my wife had) called My Pretty Pony. Needless to say, it didn't sell well, except for the smaller "baby pony" versions. Well, it went away for a few years, and when it came back, the baby ponies were renamed My Little Pony...and thus history was made.

After reading, I really liked this. This was incredibly unique and it was written in a very nice style. The humor was pretty good as well. All-in-all, one of the better stories I've read here. And it's marked incomplete as well? Where, pray tell, are you planning on taking this? In my eyes, it seems just fine the way it is. The ending is very well done, and it wraps everything up quite nicely. I assume it will be about the other ponies on Earth?

In any case, I want to reiterate that this was a refreshingly nice read. I don't see creativity and well done writing put together as often as I would wish.

dat wordcount :applejackconfused:

*throws into read later pile*

570460 Ah, what I was referring to was the fact that G4 was not made. Obviously that had to be the case so that you weren't forced into the stereotypical human reaction, but at the same time if G4 didn't exist on Earth then why would it... er... well, do you see what I'm getting at here? It's kind of hard to put it into words without sounding stupid...
And on the topic of Equestrian vs. Equestriani, I see no reason for -ni to be used. Is there a real life example of a country name with similar structure? I'm afraid my geography is a bit rusty, and none come to mind...

570548

G4 MLP in the story is not Equestria. the MLP toyline in that universe probably follows the same marketing pattern as Transformers, where they release the same characters in a new style repeatedly - imagine DJ having to be a spokeswoman for the new G4 "Pretty Pink" Firefly toy set.

570581 Yes, I got that. My thinking is that, well, the G4 we know and love never existed there, so why should it have contact? I can't really put it into words, but something just feels off to me about that.

Alternate reality where equines came to prominence instead of primates. Think of it this way: Narnia exists in the fictional universe its in, but there's no ties to the real world there. Something happened to spur that; in this case, it was the magic lightning bolt that teleported Sandalwood/DJ between worlds. Twilight and Pinkie spent 15 years looking for Rarity's lost foal because she was family and there was a small chance she was somewhere out there - if there's any chance at all of finding a missing child, you take it. When they discovered the world DJ was on had a government and some civilization, what better way to find a missing child than to contact the local authorities for assistance? (NB: I know this doesn't always work in the real world.)

Me: I've been thinking of writing a story where instead of a human getting transported to equestria, a pony gets transported to earth!
*sees this*
:twilightangry2:

Probably one of the most thorough fanfics I've read in a long time. It actually had meaning! Many tears were shed :rarity cry: I absolutely LOVED this. I cannot tell you how excellent this was. A few grammar errors, but over 20,000 words. AND INCOMPLETE. You my friend, better be ready for the onslaught of favorites and likes. If it doesn't happen immediately, send this to Equestria Daily. I'm more than sure they will accept this. I felt so bad during the part with the court. I didn't know whose side to take. It was a very hard part to read because of the conflicting emotions. I commend you my friend. You have a new favorite. :heart: :rainbowkiss:

570760

Done, and done.

570776

Give it a shot. My Little Dashie did it before me, and you can happily follow. Your tale might be way different from mine as mine was different from MLD.

Umm... Wow. I mean really. That was incredibly emotional and deep. I don't actually think I can come up with the proper words to describe this... Just wow. I seriously look forward to the next instalment.

Wanderer D
Moderator

This fic was responsible for me not approving more earlier. I got caught in it! A Republican, Catholic, Pony that is more human in mentality than pony... I had to do more than skim it... and poof. Other fics, ignored... :facehoof: I should learn to simply save it for later, but hey, I really enjoyed it! :raritystarry:

That was an extremely cool story to read. Great job, I can actually imagine it happening.

This is rather well written. Good job.

it was ... nice. very well thought out and with characters that have depth and, uh, character ...

but, uhm, i can't see Rarity acting anything like this, bigotry or no. i'm sorry but i just can't. even as a prima dona and drama queen, i can't see Rarity, uhm, well, doing this. most of the others i can kinda see aligning in the way you describe but, i don't know. Rarity sticks out a great deal to me.

the way it is written, as a pure interview, puts me off a bit. uhm, i mean, i can see why you'd chose this style (35 odd years of back story to write, yikes) but i've never liked, uh, plot dumps? i'm not sure how to describe why, i'm sorry. still, it was really well written and the dislike of interviews is a personal preference that detracts only from my personal enjoyment of it. when i stopped reading it as an interview and started to read it more as an outline, i enjoyed it more.

i'm not like the protagonist but i don't dislike her. that's pretty rare in the fandom, it seems. she's a fairly well-rounded person with some flaws.

i liked it, some bits aside, and give it a thumb up. i, uhm, can't really say very much more. sorry if that wasn't as far-reaching as it could be.

edit: going back over some of the story, i realize that ... your pony has no glaring flaws but no glaring strengths either. she's ... normal. and therein lies a bit of the strength of this story. she's not some lost alicorn or super mage or massively strong earth pony. shes an average human in a pony body. those characters are rare in this fandom and i think that's one of the reasons i like this. a normal person with some extraordinary things that happened to her just trying to live her life.

571098

No, comments are more than welcome and very much appreciated. I don't think the later portions will be interviews, because I just don't see this happening forever.

570776
Let me guess....
*reads this* :rainbowlaugh:

Was I right?

STORY! Y U NO ADD TO FAVORI.... oh, nvm. :facehoof:

This is bloody amazing! Seriously, one of THE BEST stories I have EVER read. You have talent. :twilightsmile:

It's a good thing I found this early, otherwise, I'd be up waaayyy too late to be able to function tomorrow. :pinkiecrazy:

fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/057/f/a/princess_luna_approved_by_ambris-d4r3ibw.png

:rainbowderp: Woah... this is really good. My only complaint was Rarity seemed off-character.

I really want to like this story more than I do. It did get a thumbs-up from me, so, no, I'm not all that down on it... it just ended up feeling very... incomplete. There's a strange inconsistency in some parts... particularly the scene with Luna. That scene just doesn't gel with the later events of the story. She's got an awful lot of venom for ponykind at that point of the story and, though the why for that follows shortly with the foalnapping incident, it's for the most part broken down by Twilight, AJ, Pinkie, Sweetie and eventually most every pony aside from Rarity and her immediate family. And, as for Rarity... yeah, count me among those who don't quite buy her getting this bad without some really, really much better reasons... but honestly, I read around it for the sake of concept. Going back to the Luna scene... it also foreshadows something that never happens... which was incredibly disappointing since that business card is burning a hole in my brain currently.

Oh well, still a fairly unique story. Never thought I see the Hague Convention being used in a pony fanfic.
Just found it to be fundamentally incomplete at this point... so I'd say my actual opinion is pending for now.
~Lammy

Heh, I considered writing a story like this, a pony on earth story where the pony is Happily Adopted and fully integrated into human society... but then I remembered I can't write. At all. So instead I just kinda sat back and hoped someone else would write what I could not write myself. And then you did, and here we are!

I thought this story is excellent, and I will definitely be keeping an eye out for future updates. Actually, I kind of hope to see spin-offs of this fic. I much prefer the fictional universe you have created to certain others where humanity and ponykind interact.... Ahem.

Anyway.....

Loved the story, love the fact that it's marked "Incomplete", will add to favorites/tracked.

Holy. Crap. I mean this sincerely when I say, cool story, bro. This really makes me think about how we interact with each other. I love the character you've created, and the story you've written. Please continue, you have a gift. I'm interested in hearing more about DJ, and I definitely want more of this story. Keep it up!:twilightsmile:

Hey, that was interesting - really good too - but predominately interesting. Let's watch how this continues. :derpyderp2:

Hmmm, interesting. I'm pleased especially that the parents here did the right thing-- i.e. fighting for their daughter right to the bitter end-- instead of going, "well you have prior claim so HERE YOU GO, PONIES! MINDWIPE / TAKE BACK MY KID!"

I'm a bit puzzled as to where you might go with it from here, though. :applejackunsure:

The feels. So very many feels. I can't handle it! This story is just byond... things... It's... It's... wow.

This is the only fic her I've favorited before finishing the first chapter. It's just... oh god that was so fantastic I don't have any words. The description sounded ridiculous. If it weren't for the upvotes and the word count I would have just ignored it as another one of the many weird and crappy things that are posted here, but god... this whole thing. All of it. It was so good I can almost forgive you for what you did to Derpy, though I don't subscribe to the whole 'Derpy's other daughter' thing too often. But this story! This fic! This story of a fic! I will shout your name to the heavens Shinzakura! I will declare you to be the greatest fanfiction writer in all the ponynet! And you could end it here, you could stop now and all would be fine, but it's marked as incomplete, and that's fantastic!

I should actually say something about it. A good fic deserves true comments, it's the crappy sellout ones that get the cheer squads and back patting. Yet I am just at a loss for words. You committed so many crimes that would have lost the mere mortals that are other writers points. "She's a catholic and republican you say? References to otaku and japanese culture? Is this one of those ungodly bad self-inserts? Oh god is this writer from deviantart or something? Is this one of those people who drove me insane long ago in my high school Latin class? Whose obsessions make me feel normal still today?" Neigh I say now! We have before us a writer who has broken all the rules and come out victorious! Succeeding where all others have failed you painted both worlds, human and pony, as equals! The humans are not violent and horrible monster and the ponies are not naive! Though in their own imperfection they see each other as such, as beautiful parodies of the many lesser writers that choose to bring them together. They are both good and with their flaws, yet still remaining different in so many ways.

Begone TCB fics you worthless bunch of misanthropes! Begone HIE with your mary-sues, self-inserts, and childish crossovers! We are in the presence of the true and good that all you should have been! For long have I searched your kind for one such as this and when at last I find it it is not from among you! When at last I found her she was not the young foal that had long escaped me but someone new, as if from another world entirely! And it is through her that we have seen what we all failed to be. I accept her for what she is rather than what I wish her to be, for the truth is so much greater than fiction!

Obviously I am too overwhelmed by this story to properly or fairly say anything for or against it. Enjoy this moment of overwhelming praise because I hope to find it in me to give it the proper critique all great stories deserve. If I ever settle down from this. Oh no! I hope I don't set the bar too high that I hit my head on the next chapter! :pinkiegasp:

571285
You're right that it feels incomplete, but you might notice it's marked as such. It seems there's more to come!

571690 I'm presuming, perhaps in error, that this bit is being considered a standalone piece based on length and the fact that the author's note ends with the statement that "Ultimately, public reaction will decide if I write the sequel." If this is indeed the case, then I stand by my feelings of this standalone piece not standing alone quite as well as it perhaps ought to.
~Lammy

Color me impressed. I really do approve of this story. You have smart writing and deal with concrete human (or pony) issues. A large part of what seperates silly stories from those that actually make an impact on a reader is the believability and, for lack of a better word, humanity of the characters. For all intents and purposes, DJ is a real person that I could easily imagine meeting and having a conversation with.

I think you nailed all of the ponies spot on. I agree with Twilight's reaction, but also completely understand Rarity's side as well. Even though the characters in the show never deal with anything as polarizing as inter-dimension child custody battles, what matters is that you achieved a scenario that is plausible and within reason. Which, if I were to read an outline of a story such as this, might have been difficult to imagine. I'm glad that most of the ponies were able to see the light and apologize.

One thing that I think you could've gone a bit further with was the public response to Equestria suddenly becoming a part of Earth. I realize that this story is a personal account of DJ and that most of the mass confusion would've happened while she was in court, but it still would've been nice to hear a little bit about that.

Overall, I think you leave a really interesting path for additional chapters. You've made good use of the 14th, so it stands to reason that if DJ can move to Equestria, ponies from Equestria could move to this rendition of Earth, were humans aren't "monstrous, diabolical, warmongering beasts."
I got the impression that there were more ponies on Earth since the embassy opened up and whatnot, and in a continuation it'd be nice to see how they mesh with everyday life. And since you've pulled it off so well, people (and ponies) would react believably too. And entertainingly. That's the important one. :)

There's a lot about people going to Equestria, so if you keep this up, it'll be great to see ponies coming to Earth. PM me with questions if you have any!

PS: :moustache:

It's 01:00

All I can say is awesome work, keep it up!

Heh, :pinkiesmile: maybe I've been reading too many TCB fics, but when I saw bureau I honestly thought this was gonna be another one. But instead you've made a unique, sad, and interesting tale.

571817
When that word appeared I was terrified at the turn I thought it would take.

i give you my thanks for this amusing story and it is and piece i will hold dear and remember and use it to teach my kids when i get some the true meaning of tolerance and accepting those who are different.....:twilightsmile:

This story is magnificent.
It is expertly written has an interesting premise,and conveys emotion and feelings startlingly well, and that word count is a doozy!
This is one of the best if not the best fanfictions I have ever had the pleasure of reading, and I commend you for crafting this brilliant piece of literature.

You bloody bastard.

Now I fell horrendously inadequate.

And now I must compensate for my inadequacy.

And now I'll be up all bloody night.

AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaRRRRGGGGHH!!!

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