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Anonymous Pegasus

Joined February 2012
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The Elements of Harmony are missing, and Raindrop needs them to quell the rising curse of her ancestry that threatens to consume her. Paired with a Royal Guard, and with a strong mutual loathing, Together, they will have to try to reunite the elements and find their new bearers...If they don't kill eachother first.

Cover art by infernowyvern!

First Published
8th May 2012
Last Modified
19th Jan 2013

Comments ( 1,384 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

grats on story ten, mine winged friend. now, off to read!

Edit: well, this seems like it will be going into a good direction. good luck ^.^

#2 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

Now to read.

#3 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

Yeaahhhh!

#4 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

woot!

AMAZALING!

#5 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

>>563069

In the story, Celestia says: "The elements have not had bearers for nearly a decade now."

Apparently, all of them died. I don't know if Rarity was the first or last to go, but either way, they are all dead.

Now, Anonymous, tell me you are not planning something ridiculous as the new elements being the old ones descendents. That's not fun at all, man! :pinkiehappy:

But I'll admit, this one is a bit different from Transcend, it lacks something. Some parts were put out of order. For example, you could've used the spell as a means to reinforce Celestia's argument that Raindrop's a changeling right after she starts to deny it herself. And the part about using the elements of harmony, the first mention of her plan kinda takes the impact of her sudden decision at the end. In all, good, but you are better, I know it. Keep it up =)

#6 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

:pinkiehappy:Great story but ...Wouldn't spike still be alive ?:trixieshiftright:

He could make a great source of information for teardrop .

#7 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

Well, I smell adventure. i can't wait till the quest to find the new elements begins. Who knows maybe we'll see the descendents of some familiar faces.

#8 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Hey a sequel to Transcend I hope it's as good as-

Shine was sitting up in bed, forehooves on the mattress and eyes narrowed at her. He looked tired, but determined, and was scowling at her.

“You’re a monster,” he repeated, shaking his head at her. “A demon.”

Subtle as a brick to the forehead. Could you make him any more two-dimensional? I mean where's the denial? Raindrop fought tooth and nail against what Celestia said and here Shine is dropping her like that? What the hell?! He's not even listening! Fantastic racism from the left field!

#9 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

a compainion story oto transcend i love it 10 mustashios

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

and a scootaloo:scootangel:

#10 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

>>563355

Not that I know what the author is thinking but it would be resonable to suggest that throughout the chapter the author has pointed out that Shine started to feel drained physically and emotionally.  Drained of the normally present love it would be conceivable that Shine when confronted would have a non-emotional or even hateful response that may not be indicative of his true personality.

#11 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

Me Gusta :eeyup:

#12 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 1d ago · · ·

I wonder if Spike will make an appearance as an adult Dragon since Dragons are known to live like damn near forever. It'd be pretty neat to see him play a role in finding bearers to replace his lost friends.:moustache:

#13 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 1d ago · · ·

Well now, here I was hoping for a more... I don't know, like the sequel to start after the last chapter? (Before the Epilogue I mean.) Not that this is bad! No, this is great! I just thought you could have done a lot there, what with her getting pregnant, not knowing about morning sickness, or anything like that, ect. ect. Oh well...

Still! SEQUEL! :pinkiecrazy: I WILL LIKE THIS...

#14 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 1d ago · · ·

Pinkie Pie isn't dad, nor is Spike in my opinion.

Spike lives for a damn long time  being a dragon and all.

Pinkie Pie breaks the laws of physics and time/space, she's likely just in our world doing her usual.

#15 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 1d ago · · ·

A sequal?! All is good in the world!

#16 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 1d ago · · ·

Well, I guess that shows what kind of a coltfriend he is, really.

#17 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 22h ago · · ·

Perfect premise for a sequel.

I'd like to weigh in on Shine as well, though. To be honest, it reminded me a lot of the scene in "Transcendence" When Chrysalis killed the shopkeeper. A dishonest pony makes the transformation into a rapist? Even though he was "encouraged" by Chrysalis, she still comes out morally on top.

With Shine, we don't have much to go on before he pulls what he does (first chapter, natch). While I agree with reader interpretation that Shine lashed out partially because of his condition (an understandable reaction), this really cheapens their relationship. You mentioned it was a "whirlwind romance", but the fact remains that there just wasn't that much development.

It's suspiciously convenient, kinda breaks suspension of disbelief. It allows the plot to move forward while keeping your characters' hooves clean (good thing the Elements of Harmony purged Chrysalis of the guilt of exterminating her own race!). Either that, or your interpretation of Equestria is a little darker than  most would expect. Your characterization of Celestia implies such to me, at least.

That said, both your stories are brilliant and I am very impressed with how fast you've pumped them out. Pony on!

#18 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 21h ago · · ·

>>570132

You'd prefer them to have more of an argument? I kinda set out since the start to make Shine weary of life in general. He's sapped and constantly depressed, and finding out that it's from the mare he loves that's doing it...Well, it's liable to make anyone suddenly just snap. Especially after he gets past the :pinkiegasp: moment.

And I didn't intend for Chrysalis to come out morally on top in that encounter. I wanted to brutally underline the fact that Chrysalis is a Changeling. And Changelings don't have the same issues of morality and such that a normal pony would.

She saw an obstacle, and decided that killing said obstacle was a perfectly reasonable route to clearing said obstacle.

I intend to rewrite the entire last chapter of Transcend to make it more....I dunno. Believable? Like a moment when Chrysalis realises that she's not a changeling any more, after destroying her entire race.

In spite of how I might act, I'm definitely open to suggestions/criticisms on the storylines. If a part doesn't feel right, I CAN change it.

#19 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 20h ago · · ·

>>570258

I'd prefer to have more context on the nature of their relationship, but if you intend to have Shine forgotten within a couple chapters, this is probably unnecessary. I think I desire context because I was spoiled with whole chapters of development in "Transcendance" whereas here we get a few paragraphs. Easy for new readers but a bit jarring right after finishing the previous story.

It's a tough business, trying to write a character who both does bad things and is sympathetic. This works against you in those kinds of scenes, because any sympathy you built up will allow many readers to justify atrocious behavior (especially with female characters), but you also don't want the character's behavior to be so atrocious that the character is written off entirely. If you've got some good editors/prereaders and you want to experiment with it, try rewriting the scene with killing him more brutally or perhaps with her toying with him longer (her feeding off of his desire could make for an incredibly creepy experience). Send it to them and see what they think (send em to me if you want, I'll read it!)

I said that Chrysalis forgetting about her subjects (presumably as part of being cleansed by Harmony) was convenient. That doesn't make it bad (we all know that the Elements are story-breaking convenient, anyway). I think you're fine as-is on that subject. Touching it (even mentioning it more) opens up a whole new can of worms, as it were.

Haven't read enough of the comments to get a read on "how you act", but if my own experience is anything to go by, I've liked discussing this story and if reader input makes it better than power to you!

#20 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 19h ago · · ·

>>570624 I'll have to have a look-see after I'm done with my trip to the big smoke. Currently there ATM. :derpytongue2:

Should be putting out more chapters when I get home!

#21 · Chapter 1 · 122w, 6d ago · · ·

Dalek voice: IT BEGINS!!!

Evergreen had an accent, and Cee later did as well.

Wouldn't Raindrop have one too?

#22 · Chapter 1 · 122w, 6d ago · · ·

updates? u usually have plenty...

#23 · Chapter 1 · 122w, 5d ago · · ·

\m/    \m/

#24 · Chapter 1 · 122w, 4d ago · · ·

I literally just finished transcend like just about a min or two ago and I'm gonna start reading this ....please update :D

#25 · Chapter 1 · 122w, 4d ago · · ·

>>576669

Not if he's from a different area. That and this is 2 generations later.

#26 · Chapter 1 · 122w, 4d ago · · ·

Shine you racist!

#27 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 1d ago · · ·

How could no one gave told her?!

?? mind reforming that?

#28 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 1d ago · · ·

She better hide the new elements after she finds and uses them. Or Celestia may want to raise the recently deceased.... :pinkiecrazy:

#29 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 1d ago · · ·

Sequel?

So much for catching up on my backlog of fics!

#30 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 1d ago · · ·

Mucho Me Gusta :pinkiehappy:

#32 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 19h ago · · ·

>>600740 Hey! You're mother is a monster! Let's go back to our everyday life! Imagine how that conversation would go. They assumed that the changeling gene would not show up again, hence them not seeing a "Need" to tell her. It would most likely be very bad.

#33 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 19h ago · · ·

>>604627

Dude what?? Im just telling the author to reform the sentence cuz when i read it, it didnt make sense

#34 · Chapter 2 · 122w, 5h ago · · ·

>>604627 I'm going out on a limb here and assuming he meant to fix the typo.

oh, and this story is coming along well. I await the next chapter with joy in my heart.

#35 · Chapter 2 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

>>564551

That's what I figured. Also presuming the phrasing is a callback to the first fic when Evergreen first finds out, of course, this time it's the usual reaction, not "Yer a demon, but ah still love yeh!"

>>565445

heheheheh, there's an interesting thought I haven't seen in another fic.

It seems it's only Dash and Twilight that anybody ever writes about dying of old age...I guess since they had the most amount of ambition in their lives.

Be funny to see Pinkie die of old age, and then her 'heaven' is waking up in our world. And THAT Pinkie's heaven would be to reawaken in Equestria.

Why the cyclical heavens? Because her entire reason for living is to make everyone else happy, no matter where they're at! :pinkiesmile:

You ever see some 90 year old lady who can still boogie like a teenager? That's her, ayup!

#36 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

DUN DUN DUUUUN!:pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::raritydespair: "How could this happen?"

#37 · Chapter 1 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

I loved Transcend, so I know I'm going to love this. :twilightsmile:

#38 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

WOO!

#39 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

Well...f****uck.

#40 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

that have to be the biggest let down of her life

#42 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

isn't Rarity's mane purple?:derpyderp2:

#43 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

>>611239 must have been a trick of the light :derpytongue2:

#44 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

>>611239 um...time worn picture, over the course of ten years it would ware down the coloring on the picture so purple could look like blue <pulling at straws

#45 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

... You mean she didn't even consider the possibility that they were fake when she saw that they were just lying there, in a grave that was split in half? What, did she think that happened NATURALLY? If this wasn't Equestria, where things like that don't happen as often as here, I'd call her an idiot, but since this IS Equestria... /shutsup.jpg

#46 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

Well SOB didnt see that coming

#47 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

.............................................Fuck

#48 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

I really enjoyed the first fic, and this is shaping up to be a great one too. Good luck on this new endeavor; let's see what Raindrop's future holds on her journey.

#49 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

ya better be writting the next chapter! :flutterrage:

#50 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 6d ago · · ·

HOLY CRAP

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