Karrakaz
Joined 11th Nov, 2011 ·
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Hmm...
Something felt off, but otherwise, this isn't bad at all.
~Skeeter The Lurker
And enjoy it I did.
This was amazing! You should write more! It was so good! Ah! I don't even ship Twilight and Rarity but this made me! Please write more clop!
The fact it had to do with art caught my eye.
Read it.
I really have no complaints.
Well done.
I liked it. Not sure if this was your first crack at rarilight, but I feel you could make a whole thing out of this artistic expressionism/exhibitionism.
Commence read.
Always time for a first.
Was an enjoyable read.
Like the interactions with all the students. Plus a different coupling then normally seen in your writing.
Fun use of art tools.
Wow you turned Rarity into a total predator. While also exploiting Twilight. That's too bad. At least in the real world she would at minimum lose her job and hopefully go to prison for taking advantage of a student in that manner.
5672266 Lose her job? Possibly. We're assuming Twilight would complain, and that the faculty forbids it. Jail? No. Despite teacher student relationships being considered amoral, both parties are still at the age of consent. Predator? Debatable. Rarity has never done this with a student before, she got caught up in the moment and flat out seduced a student that she found incredibly attractive. I suppose in that instance any of us who make a move on someone else is a predator. Rarity saw something she wanted, and reached out to take it. The teacher student fantasy exists for a reason, and I think a large percentage of people would admit to having had it from time to time.
5672658 I don't find the fact that she has sex with Twilight (if she's of age) to be the problem. I find the fact that she basically forced her to strip in front of the whole class a problem. Teachers don't pull random students to the front of the class to do that. They hire willing models to do it. A teacher intimidating a student into stripping in front of a class is not ok. If had just been the two of them and she asked her to do it? Fine. She didn't ask,, she demanded and in front of others. That's abuse of authority. Seducing someone? Cool. Intimidating someone? Not cool.
5672702 True true, and if Twilight complained, it would be a serious issue. So Rarity had better keep her happy.
Whoooeeee. Like nothing you have written before indeed.
Have some likes. img.pandawhale.com/post-19101-Flaming-Moes-upvote-gif-Simpso-wrRf.gif
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Glad you all enjoyed it.
5672266
I guess the story didn't convey it well enough, but Twilight could have refused at any point. The only reason Rarity did 'get away' with it, was that Twilight did all of these things (taking extra classes, letting Rarity boss her around a little) because she had a major crush on her teacher. I'm sorry you didn't like it.
I'd really like to see a continuation of some sort, with Rarity teaching Twilight about real clothes... Good read, by the way.
... and here is the first thought that...um...flamed through my mind as I read this.
I know the age gap wasn't that large in your tale, but still... this was an amusing read.
5673124 I'm following some of your other stuff and enjoying it very much. This one just didn't put me in my happy place, lol. Hey, that's why there's a ton of stories to choose from. Little something for everyone. I didn't find it badly written at all, just didn't roll with my personal feelings/morals or whatever.
...Am I the only one who felt really uncomfortable reading this? This appears to be set in some weird zone between consensual sex and rape which I can't perceive.
Hawt! I never read anything in this particular style, before. The whole teacher/student and Twilight getting naked thing didn't bother me that much, 'cause that was the whole point of the story. Props on your use of props, btw (paintbrushes)! Liked and faved.
An okay story but I'm just going to say this for the hell of it.
If a woman starts sexually harassing a young teen girl, it's perfectly fine! But if a guy does it...
(Start at 3:05 for full understanding)
Remember: It's all shits 'n giggles until someone giggles 'n shits.
5674234 There's a bit of a double standard when it comes to seduction of the inexperienced. Ask yourself, if Twilight was for some reason Dusk Shine, would you feel the same way? We tend to be more protective of the inexperienced females, as if they somehow can't think for themselves as to whether they want what is happening to happen. Twilight just got seduced by her crush, do you think she's unhappy about that? Or was her mind simply blown by her simple plan of landing extra lessons with her pretty teacher going far better than expected?
5674422 Young teen girl... you did get that this is college, right? The students are all at least old enough to drink beer.
I'll admit it started off a bit um (for lack of a better word) creepy? The fact that Rarity striped one of her students without any real worded consent sent uncomfortable warning signals in my mind to abort the story. Two things However I am in no way connected to the art world and perhaps that's not too uncommon (I guess?).
Second I'm glad i stuck around as the ending definitely saved it for me and the writing was very much to my liking, just the right amount of description and imagery (not too much not too little), I also like how it wasn't clear at first who the girl was, though a bit early to really be called a twist I enjoyed that it was not just instantly given away.
Either way it was refreshing to say the least good job man.
-Madness
5674452
True. But she only got consent from seduction. Which in some cases is wrong. But hey, it's just a story.
s2.quickmeme.com/img/43/43fef622105640e5e486937882141fdd05bce3b90f8f3d4a557d38a4db1f6d0e.jpg
5674436 Thanks for the psycho analysis there Steel, really appreciate that.
It's not the genders i'm concerned about, I will admit to your statement that by the end everything turns out quite nicely but there's this period in the beginning that's very uncomfortable to read. I will also admit, that perhaps I stated my original review too harshy.
Sorry.
Draw me like one of your- Ah who am I kidding, someone's probably made that joke already.
5675338 haha Yeah had the same thought as well.
5672266 Implying students can't want sex
5675097 Didn't mean to imply you personally were falling into that trap. Just asking you to step back and think about whether the genders were the issue. Rarity being Elusive, Twilight being Dusk... these things make us react differently. It's kind of unavoidable. Sorry if I put you on the spot.
5675703 No, saying that a teacher forcing a female student to strip in front of a group of horny guys is illegal, immoral and inappropriate.
5674590
I completely agree. Rarity was incredibly unsavory in the beginning and made me very "eeh..."
That pic...
It's the most beautiful humanization of Rarity that I've ever seen <3
So much stated that I wanted to say already, so I'll leave Rarity's early shenanigans alone, but I do still feel that ending came a little abruptly.
I kinda had a feeling that Twilight's reasoning for taking the class was something similar, and I can see Rarity agreeing to perhaps work on a relationship, but only after a large amount of discussion. What she did was entirely out of lust and very spur-of-the-moment, not something, from what I read, done out of a hidden crush. She should have put up more of a resistance, or done something to slow down the relationship to see if it would actually work.
Just my two cents, though. Was a decent read.
Interesting, I liked it a lot. Although we never did find out why Twilight hid her beautiful body away.
I have a problem seeing Twilight going along with it so meekly. She`d leave the classroom rather then get undressed, as far as I can imagine.
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If you read the entire story, there's a reason she goes along with it.
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I read it. And I found the reasons to be logical garbage.
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Sorry you felt that way, and sorry you didn't enjoy the story.
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To put it really bluntly, the only way that COULD have worked to make someone shy like Twilight is presented to undress in front of other class attendants would be coercion. And if that`s what have had happened, she would hate Rarity for that.
Rarity could have convinced her to get naked after the class, but as things are? The mismatch just can`t be reconciled. Shy people tend to develop long and lasting hatred for those who force them to dispense with their shyness unwillingly.
I'm afraid this loses its appeal for me. Although the idea seemed interesting, it really wound up being nothing more than Rarity abusing her position as a teacher. Twilight's confession at the end didn't come off as romantic so much as it did an excuse to make Rarity not look like a rapist.
I'm not normally one for humanised stories, especially since we've now got the EQG universe to tell stories where you might really need fingers and cars and stuff the ponies don't normally have, but that in conjunction with changing Rarity and Twilight's relationship to each other worked really well in this specific instance. The consent thing is maybe a little murky, but coming from Rarity's flowery perspective it feels a lot more like a fantasy or a dramatisation rather than a thing that would actually happen in the meatspace real world, so that's cool... I don't know, maybe it's just refreshing to have Twilight being all "I hope senpai notices me!" about someone other than Celestia. Very sensual artsy smuttiness overall, as is befitting
fashion horseart human.well, i am not into reading erotica, but i like romance and drama, and granted, this is both morally questionable in real life and more or less isn't accurate portrayals of Rarity and Twilight, but fortunately i have the amazing superpower called "take with a grain of salt" for the sake of enjoying a story as is. and though the pacing was overall well done, when it got to the sex, things started to get a bit crude and sped up a little, but i honestly don't care enough to complain since the important plot elements were executed well enough.
more and more i find you to be a genius, even though i am wary of shipping and anything "clop" related is more or less uninteresting to me, but i went into this imagining it as "stand-alone" characters who had these names, but were not the ponies (or human version of such from EqG), and i imagined this as a sort of fun taboo romance, which i have somewhat dark interests, i find stories like this entertaining to a point, with or without the sex (Game of Thrones is one of my all time favorite shows), in fact, with that in mind, from the work i've read from you so far, which is not too much, i would vote you as a co-writer for A Song Of Ice & Fire/GoT (granted, if GRRM wanted to share creative control).
i praise you highly, i have a short attention span for reading, so something has to really, really be interesting for me to stay awake until ... whoa, it's... almost 11 AM... i need sleep... lol. goodnight
Not bad, really. I probably would have had Rarity find another way to draw Twilight out of her shell than getting naked in front of the other students (perhaps just getting naked in front of her for some reason), and though it bothers me to see someone force another out of their comfort zone like that, it was mitigated a bit by the revelation of Twilight's feelings. Perhaps it would have helped more if you had Twilight take a deep breath and suddenly find her resolve as she modeled, even go so far as to glare at the male members of the audience, daring them to say or do something inappropriate.
Anywho, good story. I give it
out of 10.
My dad would always add "...and roll you in salt".
This was truly amazing, and extremely sexy. I loved the way you built it all up and then brought it off to full force. Have a five and a fave.
