• Published 3rd Jun 2015
  • 2,806 Views, 202 Comments

Little Blue Cat - Chatoyance



Chang'e - the artificial cat - can purr, but she is not technically alive. That is about to change.

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13. Inner Chambers, Home

Once upon a time, when the ponies came to save the humans from the dying earth, there was a

Little Blue Cat

By Chatoyance

13. Inner Chambers, Home

A deep bow, as always, to Gabriel LaVedier, and Aedina, my spouse.

Chang'e's Tower was usually a decent and respectable place, but sometimes her charity case Luna took too many liberties. This was one of those times.

Luna wasn't a bad roommate, not really. She made delicious fish flesh at regular intervals, as she should, and from thin air no less. This was almost reason enough to keep her, really. She was also good for a dependable brushing on command, and her needy desire to snuggle and be affectionate was tolerable and even sometimes welcome. Especially on cold winter nights. Chang'e found Luna's presence within her gigantic, moon-themed bed to be fairly welcome, then.

Sometimes, though, Luna acted as if she owned the castle, much less Chang'e's Tower, and this could be frustrating for the poor cat.

Luna, as she did at least once a month - sometimes twice! - had two friends over for some manner of silly, secretive, and very private affair she would throw. One of Luna's guests was reasonably okay. She was the head of the maids of the Chang'e's Castle, named 'Lime'. She often provided small treats for Chang'e, which made her a decent enough sort in the cat's mental book. The other guest of Luna's was a slinky mare named Flour... or Floor, or Fleur or something. She kept trying endlessly to make friendly overtures to Chang'e, but it was far too enjoyable to spurn them simply to watch the over-emotional reaction. So she was marginally entertaining, at least. Silly ponies.

The three were wearing cloaks and hoods, while sitting around a table singing some sort of ridiculous song about vegetables. "I hath got mine aubergine, what need have I for more, for more, what need have I for more? For I gobble, gobble, gobble mine aubergine, what need have I for more?" It was noisy and meaningless, and Chang'e just wished they would all act more like cats. Each sang the song about a different vegetable. Cucumbers. Butternut Squash. Compulsory vegetarians truly were a dim-witted sort. A little raw tuna in their diet would do the lot of them some good.

Finally. Quiet. Chang'e rolled over on her enormous covered bed and squinted at the light from the moon. She debated going out for a good prowl, to check her territory and possessions, which was essentially everything and everyone. It was a burden, sometimes, to rule the entire universe of Equestria, but somecat needed to do it - the ponies were just hopeless.

On occasion, her servant Luna would beg for her to fix some desperate problem or solve some deeply retarded situation, and Chang'e would end up embrangled in some ridiculous... oh, there. Right there. Embrangled. Luna often spoke in such archaic language because she had been forcibly given a time out for a few hundred or thousand years or something. Her words just sort of seeped into Chang'e. Luna really wasn't good at keeping up with the times. Still... fresh fish.

Oh, no! The trio wasn't going out tonight. They usually left, giving Chang'e some peace in her own tower but no, not tonight. Chang'e sighed. Servants. What was a cat to do? Noblesse oblige. Some things must be endured, it kept one's lessers content.

Luna was going on about something she had learned during her secret intrigues against her sister. The daffy creature made a hobby of preserving the writings and films and music and other arts of the pathetic humans in the other universe. Luna's sister, Celestia, would throw a fit if she knew. Much of the material was hardly appropriate for the weak minds of mere ponies. Still, Chang'e loved a good conspiracy. It was a cat thing. And Celestia was an over-mothering fussbudget in any case. To tell the truth, Luna's secretive antics were really quite endearing. Her duplicitous side was almost catlike.

But nothing this night was the least bit catlike! What was that awful racket?

The three ponies had their cloaks off and were dancing and singing, tromping the soft, comfortable carpets flat with their hooves, carrying on as if insane! And their choice of music to sing... what was this wretched, human-derived nonsense?

"Upon the first measure, do thou to jump unto the side sinister.

Immediately, then, do thou to follow
with but a hoofstep singular unto the direction dextral.

Then, indeed, must needs thou buck up to place thy hooves
firmly, upon the flanks – thine foreknees held out akimbo,
as though they were to mimic the wings of a bird.

Bringing thy hocks, as though beginning to bow to make reverence,
in connection, one with the other so firmly adjacent
that they do seem almost to be bound together – do thou
to move thy flanks, repeatedly, in the manner of a swivel thrusting slattern
with great speed and force.

Tis a motion the like of which
to drive thy mind to Bedlam.

All of this do thou again, until Time itself
doth seem to warp at the weft."

Never had the three mares seemed more foolish than upon this night. Chang'e was brought to cat laughter, which of course was represented as a sharp hiss. She then immediately leapt from the bed to the floor. There was only so much loss of dignity to which a marble chamber could be subjected. Or a cat.

Chang'e bolted elegantly for the entrance chamber, and ran at the closed, locked, silver doors.

A slight twist, and Chang'e darted through dimensional interstice to find herself outside, on her nice stone bridge. Overhead, the moon she had her roommate attend to nearly blinded her cat vision. Silly Luna still allowed the wretched thing to go full. Cats did not need that much light at night! She kept telling her this, but Luna just never seemed to learn.

Chang'e began walking towards her castle. There might be something of interest in the palace kitchens. Sometimes Lime had the staff leave a little treat there just for her, behind the stairs that lead to the saltcellar. A little nosh might be just the thing right now. Something to take the mind off of silly, silly ponies.

It wasn't a bad life, of course, just a demanding one.

But then, that was expected when one was the owner of an entire private cosmos. It was a thirty-four to thirty-six hour a day job (those minions, Celestia and Luna never could keep accurate time) being a cat.

Chang'e padded towards the entrance to the castle, and slipped between time and space once more. In the hallway, she headed for the stairs.

Noblesse oblige.

Noblesse oblige.

And fish. Always fish.

THE END

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Comments ( 41 )

I hath got mine aubergine, what need have I for more

:rainbowderp:

A little raw tuna in their diet would do the lot of them some good

:rainbowlaugh:

Then, indeed, must needs thou buck up to place thy hooves
firmly, upon the flanks

Or the flanks of somepony else!

Well Chang'e is definitely a real cat now, in body and mind.
The thought of Luna doing the Time Warp was also very entertaining.

Hmm. What does one call the anthropic principle when applied to cats? Felinic?

In any case, a happy ending, with a dash of Rocky Horror. The new version doesn't quite scan, but that's clearly part of the fun. (Or there's a different tune.) Thank you for this, Chat. :twilightsmile:

And thus the universe revolves around its rightful pivot, spinning, and toiling, and purfect for cats!

Well, this story was certainly a ride, and one I quite enjoyed going along for. Your skills continue to grow Chatoyance. I very much look forward to see what you come up with next. Keep up the awesome work!

¡Chang'e is definitely a cat!

6093548

The truly wealthy that I have personally met see themselves as almost a literal species apart... and above.

Well, I was hoping to see more of Luna's efforts to save the AIs, but at least this had a happy ending.

The denoument is a bit of a jump, but it's quite a nice way to wrap things up. Also reminds me how much I utterly despise the irredeemable evil that all cats are *wanders off and buries face in this house's cat's tummy until he purrs*

Oh also I love how this story gets into the cracks and kinks of TCB that we don't normally get to see. Your frank vivid descriptions of larger than life world communities and sights are just breathtaking.

6094731

Thank you, good Ferret. I hope I managed to convey a proper essence of felinity. That was my biggest personal challenge to myself.

I like cats, sadly I am horrifically allergic to them. Oh, I will still pet them and scritch them, despite the red welts (even with washing repeatedly!) that come later, and they do seem to love me. But oh, how cruel that I am so violently allergic.

At least I can imagine them without welts and my throat closing up!

6094896
I should make a note that among many other amazing aspects about them that pet owners fall in love with, ferrets are hypoallergenic. :scootangel:

6091616

"Feline" is the adjective form; grammatically, "feline principle" would be correct. It sadly does not evoke the parallel with "anthropic principle."

Let us invoke another alteration to the flow of time!:twilightsmile:

Excellent story. I like the progression into cat-ness. I've had enough cats to know the truth of the last chapter.

There is only one problem.

I have a Fever. And the only prescription is more cowbell that somepony make a PMV of those three doing the time warp. :pinkiecrazy: The only question becomes... Which one of them gets to be Frankenfurter?

Luna and Fleur in fishnet stockings? Yes, please! :twilightblush:
I suspect a lot of rice was later cleaned from the floor.

On the more serious side of things: I would have liked to read a bit more about those other AIs in Equestria. Not just Marvin The Martian, but others as well. What goes on in a mind that was entirely dedicated to e.g. keeping an arcology up and running and suddenly finds herself in a flesh-body and without a defined purpose?
I imagine the loss of purpose to be a rather big shock to those minds.

The ending kind of came out of nowhere but overall this was a very enjoyable read and well worth the wait. It was great getting to see things from Chang'e's perspective, even in those instances where we didn't even know they were ever involved to begin with. Plus as much as I love getting to taste what it must feel like to be a pony through your writing, I must say it was an interesting change of pace to have a taste of what being a cat is like instead.

I think I'd still like to be a pony though.

And so, to my cat, Mittens, I leave my entire vast Boottothehead!

6163042
OH, how I miss the Frantics. BOOT TO THE HEAD!

6387764
I'm sure there's a degree of error in everyone's decision making. That's what makes someone a person, after all. While the alternative is far worse, it's quite possible that the ponies' solution will be laughably naive in ways a human solution would not. Only problem is, humans all got tricked into working for a bunch of assholes holed up down in Antarctica, so any human contribution is going to be either thrown out by said assholes, or never made in the first place because everyone's too busy working for them or dying, to be creative.

I think that's the point of the Favelas in these stories, to show that humans can think of cool solutions to making life a better place, once the ability to employ those people goes away, and they don't have to spend their entire lives working only for the one who has money. ...or they could go do road warrior style syndicalism and fuel wars down in the Amazon desert. <_< But yeah, ponies make mistakes, from rushing and also from not knowing of the value of human creations, and humans don't help because they have a 9/5 stirring a vat of fabricator chemicals for someone in Antarctica. This is a relocation to a radically different universe, so the fact that they pulled it off at all is amazing, even if some important stuff was lost in translation.

6387842
I am honored, and glad, that you are reading my story, Shinskii!

I giggled a little at Chang'e relaxing in "her" domain; ah cats... Reminds me of a cat we once had named Mow Mow; be wary of sleeping with her around the room, lest she'd sit atop your neck as if you were some sort of heater!

Anyways, another good read, thanks for the story! I'll need to read Cross the Amazon next! :twilightsmile:

6429838

I wish I could have a cat, sadly I am horrifically allergic. I had a cat when I was very young, I did not accept my mother's account that the cat had run away. They took her away because of my (truly nightmarish) level of allergic response.

Cats love me, I pet them and scritch them despite the red welts I can get. I mean... how could I not?

Sigh.

7092653

¡No way!

Next you will claim that she is Miss Derpalina Ditzy Doo (who will marry with Doctor Whooves, thus will become Derpalina Ditzy Doo Whooves) and Dinky Doo fused together into an Alicorn-Princess.

¡Please be serious!

7092691

This story crosses over with CODE: Majeste. That is how Derpalina is there. You should read CODE: Majeste to see it from the other side.

7093367

¿Cannot you tell I am being a straightman and practicing deadpanhumor? I already read all of your stories.

7093535
No I cannot. I am derp.

7093633

> "No I cannot. I am derp."

Grey Bard does not get it either.

7645964

'Alarums' is an archaeic word usage, not favored currently, but in use from Shakespeare's time up to the Edwardian age. Occasionally you can find the word in poetry even today.

I just love words. They convey so much.

For example - the use here reflect upon the nature of Luna and the archaic speech patterns she sometimes - but not always - chooses to affect... a relic from a thousand years in the Equestrian past, before that unpleasant 'moon' business with Celestia. I do that a lot, you will find - I choose words not just to make sense, but to provide texture and a feeling of place, time, personality or milieu.

Great story! Here's a quick review!

“Her chromosomes were trademarked.”

This was said in such a matter-of-fact way, as if it's normal... almost as an aside... :'(

There needs to be better regulation to stop this from happening. Stop companies from owning the very essence of life itself. *glares menacingly at Monsanto*

'If you have money, you can make a ghost push a millstone.' It meant that wealth solved everything. It was the creed of Anson Cheong-Leen.

An obviously-false analogy used to defend an obviously-false belief. Cheong-Leen really lacks self-awareness, doesn't he. Methinks he needs some lessons about consumerism from Caprice.

We have adjusted our sister's great Barrier such that, in time, it will learn to encompass and convert the remaining animals and plants of this perishing 'Earth'. But only recently have we learned of another kind of life, one without any champion either human or Equestrian - thy species, fine cat.

Oh! That's good! I don't remember reading anything before about the barrier converting animals or plants... I had just assumed they were pretty much all already dead.

I'm glad that all Earth life (apart from those overly-stubborn humans) is able to make the journey to the new world.

It was literally impossible for her to genuinely have real choice. Free will was always compromised by internal directives of some form or another. Even without the changes Luna had made to her systems, she already possessed numerous subroutines and behavioral constraints and directives innate to her construction. The thought struck her: this was equally true of natural animals. They too all had internal constraints and directives. Even humans.

How then, could she make a meaningful choice? True free will was impossible for any creature. The closest she could come would be some form of relative agency. What would be the optimal decision for what she was?

The concept of "free will" is a strange one. I agree with the cat, within the rules of our universe the very concept of true free will doesn't really make sense. Whilst intelligent beings certainly appear to have free will, ultimately the concept traditionally known as free will just cannot exist.

Wasn't there some sort of experiment recently where introducing pseudorandomness into an artificial intelligence made its reactions more human-like, or something? I have wondered for a while now whether the appearance/illusion of free will is a result of quantum uncertainty inside the brain... (and the Conversion Bureau stories certainly seem to make use of the "human brain makes use of quantum mechanics" hypothesis!)

Our sister, dear to us always, is ne'ertheless best kept unawares of our supportive imbroglios.

The sesquipedality of Luna's archaic speech is very entertaining. I actually had to look up several words in the dictionary, including "imbroglio".

And I love it when reading a story gives me the opportunity to expand my vocabulary a bit more! :)

Chang'e had never seen ice outside of the alcoholic drinks served to the guests of her former owner in Hong Kong. The small cubes of low temperature water made for a poor visual memory source with which to interpret the information she had available. Chang'e imagined a tile-work of cubes covering a floor. This made sense: the cubes would likely melt in an irregular way, which would make the small toy, called a 'puck', skip and clatter about very unpredictably. The image in Chang'e's mind was appealing, and she felt the urge to pounce. Apparently, after batting and chasing the puck across the ice tiles, hockey players were expected to transfer the toy into nets at each end of the 'rink'. Perhaps they carried the toy in their mouths. Hopefully they received a treat for this, because immediately after the puck had been delivered, it was entirely taken away from them and placed in the center of the rink where anyone could take it.

On reflection, it sounded more like a game for dogs, really. A bit like 'fetch' in many ways. Still, the skittering toy aspect was somewhat redeeming.”

This sounds like it would be a very entertaining game to watch (much funnier than actual hockey!), and I'm a bit disappointed that it doesn't actually exist.

“A world of plenty. Wonder and magic and beauty. An extropic world where nothing ever ran out. The humans always wanted that. They wanted it so badly, they made theme-parks to support the fantasy that their own world was just that. They had ignored the reality that it wasn't so diligently that they had used up everything, and finally killed their planet. Now, Equestria was here, it was everything they had ever wanted, and yet many - like Chang'e's former owner - had despised it for interfering.

Chang'e couldn't decide whether humans were simply delusional, or innately suicidal. It didn't matter, though. Not to a cat. If they all perished, stupidly, it meant nothing. Chang'e would survive. She had the beginnings of a thaumatic couplement.”

It's a shame that Chang'e can't feel empathy for other intelligent beings. But also very appropriately cat-like.

Anyway, to answer her question (which was probably rhetorical but oh well): delusional. Definitely delusional.

Any species that's innately suicidal wouldn't survive very long. As it turns out, even the famous lemming isn't innately suicidal– that's an urban myth. (which kind of invalidates the whole premise behind said rodent's eponymous computer game which I spent a long time playing when I was little (until I had to stop when I was about ten and I started feeling really sad and upset about the poor innocent little lemmings' dying squeaks)).

Though... hmm... that human attitude of "better die a human than to live an eternity of happiness as a pony" is kind of suicidal. Maybe the actual answer to our little blue cat's question is "both"?

“The other park intelligences. What are they to you?" Chang'e felt apprehension at what Marvin might say.

"They are... they were..." This was the longest pause the machine intelligence on the fountain had yet made. "They possess relative value. They possess positive relative value to me."

Friends.”

wow.
Humans invented artificial forms of intelligence... only to enslave them and use them as playthings in some consumerist themepark. And abandon them when no longer necessary. And the worst thing is, all of this is scarily realistic.
:(

“All artificial animals were constructed to fail after a number of years specified by purchase agreement. When the flesh began to degrade and die, the contents of the consciousness could be saved off and reinstalled in a new artificial body at a reduced cost. The replacement plan avoided the problem of immortal animals destroying future sales of product, and still allowed owners to keep any animal identities they had become emotionally attached to.”

Oh god I had never considered the possibility of an overlap between planned obsolescence and artificial intelligence before. This is terrifying.

Suddenly I'm not so enthusiastic about the future.

We thank thee for thy graciousness, affectionate cat. HEY! No, it is true. I feel some affection which... no I do not. Stick to your side of the thaumatic divide!”

how very tsundere... :)

Which is the only appropriate way that a cat should be.

“I hath got mine aubergine, what need have I for more, for more, what need have I for more? For I gobble, gobble, gobble mine aubergine, what need have I for more?”

I really hope this is a real song. It's wonderfully silly.

And I don't even like aubergines very much!

I'm singing it in my head at the moment, to the tune of Mary had a Little Lamb.

-------------

Got to the end, at last. This story is kind of the opposite of RADWICKINS... that was funny for most of the story but ended on a serious note; this story was serious for most of the story but ended on a funny note!

Reviewing the story as a whole. The level of character development for Chang'e is very impressive, naturally progressing from "robot whose thought processes are forcefully designed to obey master's will" to "very intelligent sentient cat who can bend reality".

Chang'e's thought processes at the start very much reminded me of Isaac Asimov's I, Robot. Also, the "slowly-emerging sentience and emotions" thing reminded me of the "Pauline" artificial intelligence from Kim Stanley Robinson's Aurora.

Everything about the progression of Chang'e was really interesting (and made sense!). The journey through freedom from mental slavery, being adjusted by Luna, Chang'e ability to understand that her thoughts were being meddled with, hacking into Luna and beginning to understand her history, and finally the quest to just be a truly independent cat. Probably the most detailed and varied exploration of thought processes I've ever seen, rivalled only by Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality.

Really makes you think... as far as I'm concerned, the extraordinary exploration of the nature of robotic intelligence, and intelligence in general, in this story was at a level pretty much equal to that of Isaac Asimov. In a world that's just slightly different, this story could have been a famous sci-fi story written by a famous author. All you need to do to it is tweak the plot slightly to avoid reliance on scenarios from the other TCB stories and the MLP universe in general, and have a good publisher accept the story.

But instead, no. A really talented writer can write a story like this one, yet it gets little attention, and half of that was from some hate group :( It just doesn't feel fair...

Fame is such a fickle thing... J.K. Rowling almost failed to get published, as did Stephanie Meyer. It's weird to think how many tiny changes could have completely changed popular culture as we know it.

I can think of lots of fanfictions that could be pretty good published stories... this particular story sprang out at me more than the others, but there definitely are lots of examples. Maybe it really is the case that the world has loads of good writers, but only a lucky few get famous, almost by chance.

Oh well. At least I can still appreciate this story for what it is: a really good science fiction story on par with the greats. It's just a shame that more people aren't aware of it.

8655207

It was the creed of Anson Cheong-Leen

Hee! That is an authentic Cantonese proverb, by the way. I do my research!

I'm glad that all Earth life (apart from those overly-stubborn humans) is able to make the journey to the new world.

What is still extant, anyway. There is very little animal or plant life left in the era of the Bureaus.

The sesquipedality

Ah loves me sum WORDS!

Oh well. At least I can still appreciate this story for what it is: a really good science fiction story on par with the greats. It's just a shame that more people aren't aware of it.

My childhood was... unpleasant. I lived my first eighteen years almost entirely within books. My parents and most of my friends were Asimov and Bradbury, Heinlein (especially) and Brown and Kornbluth and Henderson and Farmer and Clarke and Norton and...

...and, and, and.

Everything I am came from science fiction books. Golden and silver age science fiction books. My values, my vocabulary, my thoughts, my styles, my very soul, perhaps.

Which means that you just gave me the most enormous compliment, one particularly powerful to me.

Thank you.

8656179

Hee! That is an authentic Cantonese proverb, by the way. I do my research!

:pinkiegasp:

That is some pretty dedicated research. I didn't consider that it might be an actual proverb!

Though the fact that it's an authentic proverb doesn't make it any less obviously wrong :P

Ah loves me sum WORDS!

Hehe, I thought you might appreciate a bit of esoteric language :P

On the subject of language, I just remembered: you used the word "calender" in the RADWICKINS story. As in "year 1985, human calender". A calender is these rollers used in papermaking, so when I read "human calender" in that story I got a rather disturbing mental image of a load of rollers made up of human body parts.

Of course you meant to use "calendar", but...
I believe this means I actually knew a word that you didn't! :twilightsheepish:

Everything I am came from science fiction books. Golden and silver age science fiction books. My values, my vocabulary, my thoughts, my styles, my very soul, perhaps.

Which means that you just gave me the most enormous compliment, one particularly powerful to me.

Thank you.

Aww. I'm so glad to hear that. :')

This was very positive story, even if world pictured in it was still quite sad ..."In this version of the future nearly every cat has built-in watchdog".

Chatoyance, I think we have some similarity in our ethico-logical development: I also attribute many of my core views to sci-fi and technical literature I've read. But then running head first into wall of reality (with uncaring scientists, and other contrasts between 'virtual' world of best books and how world really revolves) was more than unpleasant.

I found it very interesting to think about how various universe-worlds start to interact in unforeseen before ways due to fan fiction writers. Unfortunately, it seems mass-pouring good literature into masses not made them better, as thinkers (in presence of counterforces). So, may be small but dedicated audience is better than really big number of humans who still can't learn how to think :/ .....

I found this strange reference ~2 months ago, and it intersects with some 'up in the air' idea how not all dragons must look like we used to imagine them ...
http://amvnews.ru/index.php?go=Files&in=view&id=8285
(unicorn whale ahead)

9780956 (Chatoyance)

Surprizingly, here in Spb we seems to have mostly normal fog, at least in the morning ...

A bit offtopic, but I was reading this article too, and can't stop myself from putting you into same group of authors who _definitely_ helped me in progressing my thinking..

https://systemicdisorder.wordpress.com/2018/02/01/future-societies-in-fiction/

Humanity will have to find a way forward, somehow, or face catastrophe. I won’t pretend to have the answer. But it is nice to have stimulating fiction that works not only as a fine read, but allows us to think about the possibilities along the way

9780956 (Chatoyance)

Also, while I'm still here - BIG THANKS for your continued work on those local (fimfiction) groups - while I tend to whine about my own useless reading [useless because it barely reached out of me in any form :/ ] - not like my desire to read will go away anytime soon ...

9781012
Thank you, for reading my words!

11501742
If there is anything you are not, my dear sister, it is obvious. I may be able to foresee a tiny bit of where you lead, but you've thrown many a curve ball that I never noticed until it smacked me in the face. In the best of ways of course.

Aww, I want to join the party, maybe once in a while. I know lots of old songs and maybe we can play Mozart's music game!

And I promise to bring egg and cheese and nice things for the furry lady of the tower.

11501748

And I promise to bring egg and cheese and nice things for the furry lady of the tower.

She would love such tribute!

11501750
Yeah, i guess in the end she's tons happier with Time Turner and little Ditzy.

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