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"Cave Johnson *cough* here. I have a *cough* bit of a cold. Luna sneezed on me, *cough* so I won't be doing any science for today. So, *cough* I handed off the experiment to..." Cave holds up paper to his face. "Pinkie Pie, who after I realised how much scientific data we got from her, I just knew that Aperture could use her. Her co-scientist is somepony named Lyra. But anyway, Pinkie and the other one should be setting up the experiment as I speak. Oh yeah, and as an update from Twilight, she tracked down the condiment-mayonnaise thing, but it made an igloo out of mother-in-laws, and Twilight is having a hard time getting it out. This is Cave Johnson, and we're done here."
"Party, party, party!" Pinkie yelled as her and Lyra slid across Antarctica on sleds designed for ponies. Frozen wasteland surrounded them on all sides, with the exception of poorly drawn penguins dotting the ice.
"Pinkie, this is fun and all, but shouldn't we be testing something now?" Lyra yelled over the roar of Pinkie's sliding.
"Oh yeah, silly me, we didn't go to Earth just to sled. But it's still fun!" Pinkie jumped off the moving sled, and the sled spun and stuck itself upright in the snow, right next to Pinkie. Lyra slowed to a stop and get off, while standing next to Pinkie.
"Ahem, Lyra and Pinkie Pie here. Cave Johnson made some teleporter thing, and he sent us to Earth to examine the poorly drawn creatures that live here. We'll start off with penguins, because we hear they can make edible websites. Pinkie, if you will, go find a good specimen. And keep your hooves away from their edges, they aren't made of candy that you can eat." Pinkie saluted.
"Aye aye!" She then used her stomach and slid down the hill, holding her arms out. Penguins collected in her open arms. Once she was at the bottom of the hill, she stood up and hugged all the jagged penguins in her arms. "I need to put some of you in tight spandex..." Pinkie Pie then made her way back up the hill. Lyra tapped her hoof impationatly. Lyra then saw Pinkie coming up the hill, holding a emo sea lion.
"Pinkie... I said get a penguin. Do you know what a penguin is?"
"Yeah, and I have a penguin in my hoov- Where'd it go?!" Pinkie dropped the sea lion. "Uh, sorry, I don't know what happend. That seal just appeared out of nowhere."
"That's a sea lion."
"No, it's gotta be a seal."
"I was once a sea pony, and I know what a sea lion is."
"Seal."
"Sea lion."
"Seal."
"Fine! I don't care! Just get a penguin!"
"Kay!" Pinkie then dived back down the hill. While waiting for Pinkie, Lyra pulled out a bag of Rarity-mallows. She picked up a Rarity-shaped marshmallow, and chomped on it. She wondered what they were even made of, since they were a gift from Bon-bon. Pinkie Pie appeared next to Lyra, holding a rockhopper penguin.
"Good, we can use this one. Pinkie, are you ready?"
"Yep lep mep!" Pinkie then dressed the penguin in a pirate blouse.
"Get back here!" Yelled Twilight as she slid across the ice with magical sleds. She was chasing some kind of mobile igloo made out of middle-aged women. The scientists just shrugged. Pinkie then wrapped the penguin in a thin layer of rainbow foil. Then Lyra grabbed the penguin, gave it a coconut filled with eggnog, and pushed him into a cannon. Pinkie went behind the cannon, and pulled the string. After a short delay, a boom was heard, and the penguin slid out. Only it wasn't a penguin, it was turned into a jellyfish that does laundry every time somepony realises that traffic light buttons do nothing at all. The scientists looked at each other, then they highhoof'd, and said in unison,
"For science!"
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Image: http://gettingsmart.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Bill-Nye.jpeg
"Lyra pulled out a bag of Rarity-mallows. She picked up a Rarity-shaped marshmallow, and chomped on it. She wondered what they were even made of, since they were a gift from Bon-bon."
Is it just me? I.... I hope so, because... this reminds me of something. (
) A really well known fic to be exact... if it would be another sweet and another... mane 6... I..I... BonBon please don't eat them cupcakes. They turn you all crazy 
, it time to take you to the nut house now. 
I hate nuts! 
Image: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.shagtees.com/images/thumbs/warning_science_th.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.shagtees.com/cgi-bin/store/cpshop.cgi/mythbusters/shagtees/5888291&h=180&w=180&sz=46&tbnid=-dI2kSMWQIOt1M:&tbnh=91&tbnw=91&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dwarning%2Bscience%2Bin%2Bprogress%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=warning+science+in+progress&usg=__h6YAGAYTN4WBbsOHmfYeC0F8rUc=&docid=sHks9DTvHL-13M&sa=X&ei=uN3nT8bvAc7E2QW1upTaCQ&ved=0CHQQ9QEwAQ&dur=76Start stockpiling beans and digging those bomb shelters. Science is coming.
Image: http://www.joecrazy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/science_cat_1.jpg
Image: http://minoritygamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/portal_2_glados.png
AND YET I WANT MOAR!!!
Now wait. You're writing a story called "Cave Johnson and Twilight Sparkle Here" and you write a chapter without either character. What is wrong with this picture?
Anyway, I've been listening to JamesIsTheBrony read this on YouTube, and I have to say, this is maybe the worst idea for a story, and in some ways it's poorly executed (the problem with random humor is that it is sometimes more random than humorous, as it is in about half the cases in this story), but help me if I'm not laughing quite a lot. I can't say whether this actually captures the Aperture/Portal aesthetic, but there are some true flashes of brilliance (in this chapter alone, Lyra's line of "I used to be a seapony" got me). I will take the entertainment, and thank you for it. :)
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