Ménage à - Quoi?!
The balcony doors were cracked, and a warm morning breeze stirred the curtains. Shining yawned, stretching his legs from hips to hooves, swishing his tail in the sheets. Cadance slumbered peacefully at his side. She was so lovely, with the golden sunbeams caressing her pink coat, highlighting the pastel hues of her mane, glistening in the pearlescent spirals of her horn. Even the smeared eyeliner on her cheek was enchanting.
Dear Celestia, his head pounded, though... Wincing as a particularly painful throb shot from the base of his horn behind his eyes, Shining nuzzled his bride. Memories of the night slowly surfaced.
Drinks had flowed, of Dionysian proportions. Cider, champagne, wine, and harder spirits as well... Had they done body shots off the kitchen filly? He had danced with her in the empty ballroom, fed her strawberries before the fire. More drinks had followed, and they had retired to their chambers. Things became fuzzy there. Nuzzling and cuddling had devolved into a rougher type of play, and at some point she had brought out a bridle and bit. It had gotten kinky. Something else though...
A sound like a buzz saw in a metal drum made Shining jump. The location of the sound made him nearly wet himself. Ever so slowly, he turned to his left...
"Oh Luna's feathers..." He whispered in horror.
The Changeling Queen laid sprawled like a frog on a dissection table, nestled so close to him he could feel the beating of her heart. Her mouth lay open in a morbid display of vampiric dentistry. At his right, Cadance snuggled closer. Shining swallowed a lump.
No way. No way I drank that much! He mentally reassured himself, thoughts racing in a losing battle with his worsening hangover.
Fix it fix it fix it! His brain screamed. He placed his hooves to his temples.
Stop yelling! He snapped back, taking a deep breath.
Right. Ok. First things first. Dispose of the evidence.
He looked back to his left at Chrysalis, who had rolled to her side and now buried her face in his neck, murmuring unintelligibly against his coat. Hide her.
Yes. Hide her! Good job! He smiled, proud of himself for finding a way over that mental hurdle in this morning’s "The Hell Happened" Olympics.
"Mmmmmmmm, darling..." Cadance said softly, stirring.
Shining shoved Chrysalis with all his might. She slid to the floor with an audible *thud!* and, thankfully, continued to snore. Cadance sat up sharply.
"What was that?" she asked, mane askance with the passions of the previous night, the toss and tumble of sleep.
"N-nothing, love, just the wind," he laughed nervously. She smiled lovingly at her husband.
"Oooooh, last night," she purred. Shining gulped, forcing a grin.
"Yeah," he replied. The purple of his wife's eyes deepened, her eyelashes fluttering.
"You were everywhere... Up and over and in and around... mmmm!" She giggled like a school filly and nuzzled his muzzle, embracing him tightly.
"You, ah, you know me, eager to please, haha," he said, hoping the smile he plastered on his face was passable for a pleasant expression and not the mockery of emotion his brain was telling him it indeed was.
"I lost myself in you," she sighed, moving to rise from the bed. Shining leapt up and grabbed the sheet in his teeth with a flourish, yanking it down over the passed out Changeling Queen on the floor. Cadance raised an eyebrow.
"Airing the sheets?" he tried. She arched the other eyebrow.
"Brush my mane," she said, less a request than a command, and strolled to her dressing table, swaying her haunches seductively as she went. Shining took a quick look at the pokey lump beneath the sheets to ensure its immobility and joined his bride.
"You look a vision this morning," he told her, using his magic to pick up her favorite brush and slowly run the bristles gently through her mane, detangling the lover's nest of knots. Cadance closed her eyes and purred, ruffling the feathers of her wings.
"You're a liar, my love," she sighed, tilting her head to the side. Shining watched the lump on the floor via the mirror's reflection.
"Er, close your eyes and let's get that makeup off your gorgeous coat," he continued, rummaging around on her dressing table for the solution. Cadance sighed again happily, feeling the brush work its magic against her scalp. "Here we-" Shining looked back up into the mirror and made a strangled sound in his throat.
The white lump of slumbering sheet was gone.
"Shining?" Cadance asked.
"Just keep 'em closed, beautiful!" he said hurriedly, carelessly smearing the makeup removing solution across her eyelids and cheeks, his pink aura sloshing the bottle haphazardly. "You, ah, don't want that in your eyes."
"Then don't put it in my eyes," she answered, somewhat tersely. "You're acting remarkably strange, is something wrong?"
"No, no, everything's fine, ah..." he said while casting furtive glances about the chambers. There was no sign of Chrysalis. "I just want this morning to be-"
"Cadance... lovely. Thank you so much," Chrysalis purred, materializing from seemingly thin air and nuzzling his wife behind the ear in a display of intimacy that made his cheeks turn red.
"...perfect," he finished.
"Chryssie, I can't thank you enough for indulging me. So glad we could clear up that misunderstanding from the wedding in time for this," Cadance replied with a smile. Shining felt his jaw drop. The Changeling Queen laughed sweetly and returned his wife's smile.
"Water under the bridge, my dear," she said pleasantly, waving a hoof. "And you, you stallion... put 'er there!" She held up her foreleg for a hoof bump. Baffled, Shining obliged. Chrysalis winked. "We really did show her a good time, didn't we?"
"Uh..."
"Your form was simple enough, but your style? There were moments where I just had to watch. Bravo, my dearest," she complimented, clapping her hooves. "Such technique. I hope I emulated it passably enough."
"Oh Chryssie, I could hardly tell between you two! It was magnificent!" Cadance giggled.
Shining simply stared. Chrysalis chuckled.
"Poor dear has the wine flu, I think. Pity. Those are memories I know I shall cherish for some time."
"Will you not stay for breakfast?" Cadance asked. Chrysalis shook her head.
"I must decline. I have to get this abundance of love and caring back to my starving ones, lest the little darlings become testy with hunger and start wrecking the castle. We'll stay in touch?"
Cadance nodded. Chrysalis blew Shining a kiss and nuzzled Candace once more, then sauntered to the balcony doors and the strange sound of her odd wings filled the air for several moments. Shining became aware that his mouth was still hanging open.
"Cadance," he said after a long while. She turned to look at him with a smile.
"Yes, darling?"
"What. The buck. Just happened?" he demanded. Cadance giggled.
"Certainly you don't think you're the only one with fantasies?"
He stared. Candace rolled her eyes.
"Oh come now. I'm sure she'll come back on your birthday."
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You should be. Shame on you.
This is hilarious.
Shining should watch his drinking a little bit if he gets to the point where he doesn't remember the last night. This time it was just threesome with Chrysalis, what else might happen next time?
Please attribute the artist of the coverpiece - Conicer.
D:
5668949 I did. It's linked as the source, and the artist's name is clear in the image. I link all my fanart I use as the cover.
Doesn't really seem to be in keeping with any of the characters normal traits. The changeling Queen said she had no love for Shining Armour in the show. Perhaps, I am taking things too seriously.
I love you for this story.
Just, its so well done! You had me silently laughing my ass off the whole time, and I really love your word play!
I love this. I do.
I'm sorry, but you drank exactly the right amount for this to happen.
Yus. :3
OH gads, NO! Chryssie helped Shining in stuffing the Princess of love.
And now I want to read about how their night went down.
Damn you for leaving me wanting more.
5669086 It's fanfiction. Have a little fun.
What.
Seriously, what.
Have a like! It made me laugh
OK this made my morning! Was not expecting this kind of story at all!
I give this 6 and a half trollestias
...I'm okay with this headcanon.
5669936 You... you approve?! **faints**
5668388 I am. My regret spans aeons of space and time. Can you ever forgive me?
Uhhh....I'm not sure what to think of this. It does not compute.
5669946 Write some more Flarity, we'll consider it forgiven.
Wat?
*re-reads*
Yup, that's what I thought I read.
5669012
Hm, sorry I can't find it. :x Is that in the stats page...? I believe you! But I'm not understanding when you say 'linked as the source'. I thought maybe saving the image would have his deviant as the default name, but that wasn't it either. Anyway not to nitpick, but I at least can't find it. I checked the description, author's notes, and end of the story as likely areas.
-edit Nevermind, a little highlighty thing pops up on the cover art when it's moused over. Found it. :x
5670027 Mouse over the image and a button will pop up saying "source". Click and it will take you to where the image is from if it has been linked
This story really made me laugh, I loved this
*clap. Clap. Clap.*
I would have preferred it to be a bit longer, but it's still an excellent fic. Perfect it you just want a quick 5-10 minute read. Great job.
5669940
It's short, to the point, and funny. Also, it set my head abuzz with ideas for just how such a scenario could have been set up. How could I not approve?
An amusing short. :3
Uhhh.... kinda funny, well written, but ehh, it's not my type of story.
good job on the feature though
5670234 lemme restate that, *clop. clop. clop*
nah, jk
5670358 I appreciate the acknowledgement, nonetheless.
I would prefer if Shining had at least an inkling of recollection from the previous night, whether it be in the form of a dream or somewhat. That way, when he finds out about what happened, he doesn't feel too violated. It reads like they got him drunk and took advantage of him--not cool, yo.
Otherwise, I like the premise, and the lack of animosity between Cadance and Chrysalis. I approve of this relationship dynamic.
And from that day on Shining armor never drank again.
5670394 I would probably be dying of laughter about this story if Cadence wasn't on my "thou salt not adulterate in any way shape or form" list. so no hard feelings, very well written, Shinys reaction was priceless
5670406 I had hinted at a "something else," but I hadn't wanted to spoil the grand reveal. I apologize if it came across as a bit rapey.
5670448 A "something else"?
Funny, well-written and a good read. Though I have to agree with Zyrian.
5670461 When he is attempting to recollect the night before.
I just had my own "The Hell Happened" games... great story!
This is super funny
You should do a sequel where Twilight somehow finds out about what happened, and is actually not angry at all that Chrysalis had returned.
5668608 A threesome with the one that mind controlled you, locked your fiancee in a cavern, almost killed both of you, tried to trick you into marrying her and to top it all off, almost made your sister out to be a possessive psychopath and lose everything she has.
Short of getting split apart by a threesome with full-power Tirek and Sombra on a bed made from Lord Smooze. What could Possibly be worse?
Well actually since it is Chrysalis I mean he could seriously do worse. Never mind carry on.
5670468
Fair enough I guess...
Other than that, the only error I found was you used "illegibly" when it looks like you meant "unintelligibly."
5670626 Oh gosh, thank you!!
Cadance sure got over that " trapping me in a cave then trying to steal my husband" incident rather quickly.
A nice quick read, +1up.
5668608
Lots of things. Tons of much worse things could happen, but being as how this was Chrysalis I challenge you to find something better.
Throughout reading this, all I could have running through my mind was...
This was a great one-shot!
Here, have a like and fav.
Allow me to sum up Shining's thoughts post-read in one pic and one short video:
sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608053578729129065&pid=15.1&P=0
Also, damn good read, have a like and a fav.
In the time it took me to read this, this story gained 3 likes.
It deserved every one, bravo.