Avatar: The Last Alicorn. Book 4: Alicorn

by Jeweled Pen

Chapter 2: I used to wonder

Twilight stared, her mind struggling to process what she was seeing. She'd been staring at it for so very, very long. There were now hundreds, thousands of ponies surrounding the laid out bodies of her friends.

They looked so peaceful, aside from the blood. It had likely been a quick, if brutal death. Even Spike was laying there, his scales cracked and broken. The gem in the necklace around his throat shattered. The elements themselves were still on her friends, though the collapsed roof had bent most of them.

She just stared at the bodies and the soldiers stared at her. She'd won. Nightmare Moon was no more. There were still soldiers, but there was nopony to lead them. Luna had submitted to the will of her elder sister, and now Celestia was directing the troops. The dismantling of the Water Nation forces. The end. It was all over, everything she'd worked for. Now it was just like before she had disappeared.

Yet, she felt so empty. She'd managed to unbury her friends, but they were long gone. Nothing remaining in their wracked bodies.

Rainbow Dash had been the first to be unburied. Their fastest member, a true fighter. She'd been with her since the beginning. Always first into a fight, the best air bender she'd ever known. In many ways, she was the second in command of the group. Someone Twilight could trust to take charge if anything happened to her. She'd have probably thought it was funny, in a dark way, that she was found first. Always there for her friends, no matter what. Even with the loss of her sight, she'd refused to give up.

Fluttershy had been second. It had been the second cruelest of all. Seeing her once kind, loving friend on the ground, broken and battered. The mare who had, for the longest time, taken care of them. Every cut or scrape was tended by her with the gentlest of care. It didn't matter how much they whined or complained, or how tired they were. She was always there to give a gentle, caring word. Always there to support them. Seeing her broken in such a brutal fashion was a cruel joke from the universe. Even when she had been frightened, she'd still gather up the courage to fight any of their enemies, even a massive dragon.

The third had been Pinkie. That had been when her tears had run out. There was only so many she could give. But there was no longer a release for her grief at that point. The joker, the funny mare. The one who always found a way to make them laugh, but knew when to take things seriously. Twilight didn't know if they would have made it this far without her. Even if Pinkie wasn't the best fighter, she was always there to encourage them. Always motivate them. Make the darkness and pain a little more bearable.

Applejack had been the fourth. One of her newest friends, it didn't make the pain any less. Her earth bending master, the only pony to have ever performed metal bending. Just as stubborn, if not more so, than Rainbow. Level headed and able to focus under pressure. She helped keep the group in line, from pushing too far. From going too wild. She had been another pillar for them. A great cook, too.

Rarity had been fifth. An old enemy turned friend. Twilight knew she'd never have another like her. The journey would have been impossible if not for her occasional help. When she became an ally, even with the problems and enemies she'd brought, it had been wondrous. They'd finally succeeded. Managed to rescue everypony, end this war. Save her mother from Discord's control. Now she'd never get a chance to really know her family again.

Spike had been the last. He had been the worst. He wasn't supposed to be here. She left him behind, where it was safe. He was supposed to be safe. He was just a BABY! He'd been with her since near the beginning, but how long had she practically ignored him? Half the time it was her, her friends and Spike. She'd even forgotten he was part of the group sometimes. Just her little assistant, not a part of this war. Then she'd lost him once. It had been Rarity who'd found him. She'd had a second chance and she meant to use it well. To keep him safe. But she'd failed. There wouldn't be a third chance.

The war was over, this was supposed to be a time for celebration. For cheering. But she couldn't, not now. How many had died? How many more would still die from the smaller skirmishes? She thought those had hurt, knowing all the nameless, faceless ponies were dying and she couldn't stop them. But they were like a tiny pinch on the hoof compared to this stab in the heart.

Some of the soldiers tried to talk with her, she ignored them. One pony tried to touch her friends, she sent them hurtling through the ranks with a wave of her hoof. She nearly did the same to Luna and Celestia, before she realized who they were. Their daughter, their niece. Gone forever.

The war was over. But there was still much that had to be done. So much pain that had to be mended. There would be no celebration. No relaxation. She had so much work to do, things she had to do. Ponies needed her to do.

But they would wait. For now she just starred at their corpses. Her friends. And wished she'd had the good fortune to have teleported them out instead.

------

Twilight nodded slowly as she looked over the reports laid in front of her. She merely nodded in place, only giving them the smallest of glances. She couldn't even read them if she wanted to. Her eyes were blurry and tired and she knew she should be in bed. But sleep led to dreams and dreams sometimes led to her friends.

“Avatar,” one of the ponies at the table asked. She barely even registered which one it was. Ember? Ashmane? Pebble? They all seemed the same to her now. It was as if the world had lost all color. Everything seemed muted and gray. Without her friends, there was no more life. “You look tired. Are you sure you want to be here for this meeting?”

“I'm fine, continue,” she said on auto pilot, trying to focus on the words. Everything was going so... well. It was perfect. In fact, it was exactly how she dreamed it would be. The Water Nation was defeated and there was peace. Ponies were being friends again. The countries were working together, helping each other. The Water Nation was doing what it could to repair the damage it caused, but even it was suffering from so much destruction over the last hundred years that it was struggling to maintain some semblance of normalcy as civil war raced across its borders.

At first she'd tried to help there, but that was when the worst had hit her. Everypony congratulated her, called her their savior. As if it was she alone who had saved the world. She'd merely smiled and waved, hoping the ponies would go away. Then Celestia had talked with her.

The ruler asked her to leave, at first she didn't understand why. She pushed. Oh, how she wished she hadn't pushed. Celestia told her, with tears in her eyes, that seeing Twilight alive and well was like having Rarity die a second time in front of her. The words had startled her, but she understood.

She hadn't expected the same words to come from Applejack's family. From Fluttershy's. From Pinkie's. From Rainbow's. She had to go in person, to tell them. To let them know. The anger, the hurt, the betrayal. Why had Twilight survived when none of them had?

They were hurting though. Loss hurt. She understood it. She deserved it. Her magic was what failed, she was the only pony who could have teleported them. Maybe if she'd spent less time focusing on bending and more time on magic, she would have been able to teleport without the elements. But she hadn't and now they were gone.

“Twilight? Did you hear me?”

“Huh?” she asked, looking up.

“I said we're going to pack up for today. We're finished.”

“Oh... right. Carry on. I'll be... resting,” she lied as she turned and walked out from the room.

Now she was 'home'. Manehatten. The fire benders were back and rebuilding. But they were rebuilding without her. There was no point for her to be here. She was a tool for war, but there was no more war. There was no more fighting. There was no more need for a master bender. Now she had to be a diplomat in a world she didn't know, didn't understand. There were no more big enemies. Even Trixie was imprisoned now. It was over. It was all over.

Maybe it was time she went to the other countries. It had been a month, at least, since she'd returned to Manehatten. Maybe she would be more useful there.

------

Twilight dug her hoof into the ground as she walked forward. The ground cracked and broke under her steps, though she didn't care. Before the world had seemed to be in nothing but shades of gray. Now she'd found the color red.

Her rage bubbled within her, echoing through ever fiber in her being. Some earth benders tried to block her way, but she waved a hoof and sent them back with a wave of wind. She made it to the courtyard outside Fillydelphia's palace before stopping.

“Avatar! What a pleasant surprise,” a white earth pony with a light gray mane said.

“Fancy Pants!” she roared, stomping a hoof and making the ground shake. “I know what you're doing. Call back your soldiers.”

He paused and looked taken aback. “A-avatar? I don't know--”

“I saw the invasion force. I saw what they did to that city. The war is over.” She stepped forward as more soldiers moved to block her path, but they were stopped by a wave of his hoof.

“Please, Avatar. You misunderstand,” he shook his head. “We are in a time of peace. But, the Water Nation has... transgressed. Horribly. How many have died? How much was destroyed? All the nations are vulnerable now, more than ever. I am merely ensuring that this... travesty cannot occur again.”

She growled and dug her hooves into the ground. “So you admit it?”

“I am protecting everypony! It is better for us to watch over them. Help them. Guide them. Do we really need another Water Nation war? This way they'll be under our eyes and--”

“ENOUGH!” Twilight yelled, her mane erupting into flame. She stomped her hooves once and the building shook. “Too many ponies died to put an end to this war.” She stepped forward and put her face near his. “There will not be another.”

“Of course not, Avatar. This is merely a preventa--”

She silenced him with a wave of her hoof. “You miss understand. There will not be. Another.”

He stared at her for a few moments before the realization dawned on him. He glared and took a step forward. “I will not be threatened in my own kingdom, Avatar. My soldiers will remain where I see--”

Her hoof was suddenly on his mouth and she stared into his eyes. “Allow me to stop being subtle, then. You will remove your soldiers. Or I will remove you. Do not test me on this, emperor. The war is over and it will remain over.”

He stepped back, his eyes going wide. “A-avatar, you cannot... this...” He lowered his eyes and turned away. “Very well. I will have my soldiers... return.”

“Without any of their prisoners or... 'protected' ponies.”

“Of course,” he said with a bow of his head.

Twilight turned and walked out. The guards watched her, but quickly turned their gazes away when she looked back. She focused on the anger, letting it boil within her. The war had only just ended less than a year ago. Yet these ponies already tried to start a new war. Enslaving those who opposed them, using might to try and make them obey. Her friends hadn't died for ponies like this.

There was nothing that could be said for it anymore. The ponies here were... beyond her aid. They didn't want her help. Most didn't need her help. But she would be damned if she'd allow them to take what her friends had fought and died for away.

------

Sweat glimmered across the mare's coat. She stared at the massive tower of stone in front of her. It was impressive, she knew. Applejack would have been proud. Of course, she still had to get furniture and carpets, not to mention store some food. But for now, her stone tower would do.

The door swung open and she walked inside. It closed behind her, echoing through the wide, open halls. She was alone now. Her own personal tower where nopony would ever bother her again. She'd put it between the border of the Water Nation and the Earth Kingdom, so she could keep an eye on both of them. Ponies could find her if they needed her. It was good.

She walked through the halls, stopping when she realized the tears were starting again. She wiped them off and kept going. Her friends should have been here. They should have been walking through these halls besides her, talking, laughing. They were good, kind ponies. They wanted to end this war. They wanted her to be a part of their life.

Now all that was left were the worst kinds. Ponies who wanted to wage war. Ponies who wanted to start over everything they had worked to stop. But Twilight wouldn't let them, not this time. She'd shatter their kingdoms like glass if she had to, but there would be no more wars. There would be no more fighting.

She looked around as she traveled the stone halls. There was an echo with each step and the light came in through the many windows she'd put in. She wondered if she should add glass later, or leave them open. Maybe she could fill the drab, gray halls with books instead of furniture. Yes, that's what she'd do. Study. She'd always liked to study. Books were comfortable. Books were gentle. Books wouldn't die. Books wouldn't leave her alone.

------

Twilight hurtled the book through the window, letting out another scream of rage. For a moment she paused, confused and angry. But why was she angry? Why was she upset?

Of course. The magic book. Teleportation magic. It was so easy. She could have done it. If she'd just looked, just tried. A child could have done it. A child WOULD have done it. To save her friends. If she hadn't been such a fool. She collapsed onto the gray rug, letting out another sob. She looked to the nearby bookshelves and let out another angry growl. She picked up the nearest one and hurtled it against the room, splintering the wood and sending books flying. For a moment, red returned to her world and she began gripping more books and furniture, shattering them against the wall, the floor, everything.

It wasn't fair. Why did it still hurt so much? It wasn't lessening, it wasn't going away. It had been years since they died. But the pain still hovered around her heart, gnawing away at her as if it was alive. As if it was feeding on her, draining her. If anything, she felt the pain getting stronger.

She rested her head on her hooves and began to cry. She wanted her friends. She wanted to hear their voices. She wanted somepony to tell her what to do, to help her. To tell her it would be alright. There weren't any ponies still out there, though. They were all... bad. All wrong. All...

All in danger of her. That's what being the friend to the Avatar meant, after all. It meant they'd die, while she'd live. A hundred lives, a thousand lives. Until all that was left was her.

The pain gnawed at her, choked her. She needed something, anything. There was no pony she could turn to. No pony came to her tower, not anymore. She was...

She was not alone. It had been so long since she'd used this spell. So long since she'd called on them. Before even Discord. Before she'd lost her friends.

Her horn began to glow as she closed her eyes and slowly entered a trance. There was still somepony she could turn to. “Starswirl...” she said softly as a white light began to form in front of her.

Comments

[eric-emanwu]

Well, this stinks. (I know. Isn't it so much fun?) Shut up discord.

Anyways, so we begin with pure pain. Seeing the friends crushed to death. All of their necklaces damaged. And twilight remembering the best of each of them. Rainbow and her bravery and commitment. Fluttershy who gave and stood up, giving her time, her bending, even giving up her pretenses to fear. Pinkie, who always tried to bring joy to the avatar story. AJ, the solid, and surprisingly good cook for the team. Rarity, who would be a truly unique friend. A princess, a former enemy, a political genius, a lady who gave up her crown, her easy life, and her family all just to fight for the truth and for peace. And of course spike. Who had so often seemed like an afterthought, but who had always found ways to leave his mark on smaller ways. The Phantom, the rescue of Twilight, the element of generosity, the confrontation with Rarity, Spike the advocate, Spike as scribe and lover of dragons, Spike as bait for the water nation attacking the dragons. They were all warriors, but only spike could be a nail. That small aspect that always changed what he came in contact with.

Although, it was in the cleanup that something....very strange came up. "Everything seemed muted and gray." Muted and grey? Wait, that sound a lot like....wait. Could, could it be?

Anyways, it seems the peace was just as cruel as the war in some ways for Twilight. For though things were getting better, the families all asked twilight the same question. "Why couldn't you save them!!???!!!" And in some ways she held this over her head even more, as this point of divergence really was how she felt shame that she was a bending master, and not an omnimaster.
Though there was something that had me raise an eyebrow. "She was a tool for war, but there was no more war." Now wait just a minute. The avatar is exists to bring balance. Not just between nations, but also between nations and hearts. She's not JUST a weapon. She's also functionally the last authority in the disputes between rulers. A friend, a lover, an inspiration. The avatar is there to help, and to love.

Actually though, this really does bear the clawmarks of discord in some ways, even if I'm unsure if it's really him. The cue? Remember 4 chapters where I talked about discord attacking both twilight's loneliness and her rage? Well, that confrontation with Fancy Pants is definitely the rage component. That frustration that the righteous die for the cyclical flow of war.

And so, she built the tower of solitude. Just....just like Clover. A place where she could watch and be available, but also be free of all these squabbles and hopefully healing herself. She actually was returning to her knowledge like Starswirl wanted, but for the wrong reason. He wanted her to grow in the joy of learning, not out of bitterness and rage. And the rage and pain wasn't going away. But then, she realized there were finally somepony else who she could talk to. Somepony to listen to her and understand at last. The other Avatars. Maybe they could finally save her.

[LibbytheKautz]

All right... you've got me crying.

[Mocha Star]

You almost got me emotional at work.
Bastard!