The Portal Project followed in the wake of Princess Twilight's misadventure into one of the worlds of the humans. The brightest ponies from across Equestria created new portals to fantastic worlds, and humans became merely a common encounter in the various expeditions. There were less than successful moments in this age of discovery, however. Hostility and violence sometimes waited through the portals, and ponies were lost.
Some worlds were much darker than others. Most would kill a pony outright, but others would snatch them up in a whirlwind of bloodshed, pull them screaming into the damnation, and ponies would come out changed- if they came back at all. Some did not, which for their families and friends, was probably for the best.
Chapters (8)
This is pretty legit.
I remember you talking about this in a forum thread awhile back. Glad to see it.
Pretty good so far.
Good stuff. Heretical, but good stuff.
Y'know what would be a good thematical choice for the story? Have Thess die, like have her die in a brutal and uncaring way. And make it a quick death, like GoT quick. I say this is a good choice thematically because then Barley can understand truly how the WH 40k universe is so uncaring and filled with death as well as the grimdark. It'd also be good as a way to give Barley just that little *push* over the edge of insanity. And have Barley come out a stronger character by having to overcome depression/insanity.
But that's my two cents, take it as you will.
Well, that's quite Johannine.
This will definitely be interesting. Keep up the good work!
7274476 I definitely considered taking the story down that path. The next few chapters are already written, but I really thought about the effect Thess has on the story - and ultimately Barley's development - if she dies as you describe or if she manages to live on. At least for these next few chapters, my line of thinking is that Thess is Barley's anchor in this new world and while killing her off in an undignified way would effectively get the theme of '40k' across to Barley, this story is ultimately a crossover in the sense that viewpoints from Equestria and 40k mix and something new is created. Thess will still show Barley the darkness at the heart of living in 40k, but in a more gradual way, and not by her immediate death, Thess's optimistic "I'm myself when I'm around you" confession at the end of Ch. 1 isn't completely true and isn't how Thess will act, willingly or not.
You know, this is a good line of thinking, so I'll continue it here even if it's a mite spoilery. One of the core themes of this story is the friendship that Barley really desperately clings to not only as part of her heritage as an Equestrian but also intrinsically as a pony. While killing Thess and absolutely smashing the friendship that Barley uses to try and keep sane would be excellent if my goal is to harden Barley and optimistically grow her personality by overcoming depression/insanity, it's not really my goal. My goal is more twisting and changing how Barley considers friendships and relationships and exploring how an Equestrian tries to cling to what they know even in a completely unfamiliar and almost totally hostile setting, and how they themselves change doing so. It's 1:34 in the morning and I can flesh these thoughts out a little more when I'm more rested, but basically keeping Thess around for the first few chapters at least better fits my vision for the story. Don't worry about the grimdark of 40k being poorly represented in this story, though. There's plenty to come, and the relationship I talked about will be twisted.
If grimdark here is poorly presented... well, I wont do anything bad to anyone, but for me it's hell of a proper darkness here. :D And I ve got a feeling it is going to be a great story if you ll continue it on the same level. Madness, hopelessness, violence... and a pony character who actually can understand them somehow, that's promising. I'm even starting to imagine this in a manner of McCarthy's The Road, where the two are crossing the fallen Hive and see its inhabitants ways of damnation.
Anyway, I will wait for more, keep up good job :)
7279744 Cool! I eagerly await new chapters.
Take your time though. Please don't feel rushed by anyone. Oh and if I might ask, please give the Imperial Guard a bit of glory. Doesn't have to be much. People bash the Guard too much in my opinion.
10/10 more.
Totally different than everything wh40k I read... Mayby just plain realistic. Great. Story. Again. 10/10
Damn worshippers of Khorne! At least they stay dead when I put a bolt into their heads! They never do know when to just lay down and die! At the very least that PDF trooper gave his life for the Emperor as any good citizen should. May the Emperor protect thee in death Citizen. But yeah this was a good chapter, I like the pacing so far and I'm still hoping for a scene of the Guard kicking heretic ass. Because that'd be awesome.
=][= Imperial Thought of the Day =][=
Blessed are the Gunmakers
Well-written exposition chapter. Feels like something right out of a good history textbook.
Good job. Looking forward to what comes next.
It's as good as many Dan Abnett's expositions in Ghost Series. Goooood job ;)
Will Twilight be one of the ponies who comes back "changed"?
Frack.
The atmosphere you put into this is amazing.
The very unusual relationship Barley and Thess share is equally heavy.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
You really paint an "appealing" picture of WH world. And from the perspective I ve never seen explored before. I m very very curious about next chapter. This was 10/10.
But why aren't the human freaking out by a mere sight of Barley, a xeno? Hatered for them is built-in there, isn't it?
I rather like fluff like this. Makes the grim darkness of the year 40.000 a bit more relateable. Plus it´s very nice to see actual "human" beings, amongst all the star elves, murderous mushrooms, high tech undead and whatnot.^^
7297920 yeah, most 40K syories focus on the fighty aspect, vwry few focus on how iy actually affects people.
7435182 maybe they're to mad to care?
7713327 Plausible reason indeed :P
I think I like how the main story is going right now. I like how the atmosphere is split between a feeling of "Is there some weird silver lining of hope?" and "Bad End is gradually approaching."
This really deserves more attention.
7840593 Thanks for the comment, mate! Was beginning to wonder if my regulars had lost interest over the shamefully long six weeks. And as for :
That summarizes the general tone I've been setting the story into, summarizes it better than I can. I feel a lot better about Exterminatus now, after a bit of reflection.
My, this planet is almost comically terrible. Certainly sounds like 40k.
Good chapter. I hope we get to see more of this strange clerk and his family. Could make for some interesting character development.