In the wake of Discord’s flippant betrayal in the fight against Tirek, Fluttershy falls apart. She doesn’t answer the letters Discord sends her, sequestering herself in her cottage until Twilight and Rainbow Dash nearly force their way in to help her put her life back together.
Discord, meanwhile, is swallowed by a feeling that cuts much deeper than simple selfish grief. To ensure that Fluttershy is never harmed again, he flees Canterlot and finds himself using unconventional magic he swore he’d never use, filled with a purpose he’s wholly unfamiliar with. Things quickly get out of paw, claw, and hoof.
Chapters (2)
For once a story where Fluttershy isn't a complete push over after the Tirek incident!!
I am kinda happy that Fluttershy is mad at Discord for betraying her!! He deserves it. I believe in all the other stories he's let down too easy because Fluttershy forgives him way too easily!!! 
I do hope this story isn't a complete somber one though, where she never forgives him. I would even welcome some romance... 
Just don't rush into it to quickly like most stories. Let's see some flutter rage vs Discord!!!! 
I have to disagree. I'd like to see a story about Fluttershy and Discord working this out as friends.
5643031 Glad you like it so far! Yeah, when I saw the finale and Fluttershy crying, I was like... there's gotta be a story here. She's a pushover, but she must have a limit. I don't want to spoil anything, but I don't think you'll be disappointed.
5643089 Who says they can't yet?
5643174 Thanks!
Mooorrrreeeeeeeeeee
5643892 Haha. Your demands shall be granted!
Nice to see a story where Discord isn't getting away from some kind of punishment. In this case, Fluttershy's trust
5644330 Glad you feel that way.
I think you're gonna like chapter 2...
I am surprised Twilight didn't ask to read at least the final letter. There could have been important information there about Discord's intentions and she could Pinkie Promise not to reveal the information therein. Of course that becomes somewhat moot with Discord showing up.
I knew this was going to be good from the editor's club - thingy. I just couldn't stop reading.
Amazing!
Cue Discord mucking up an already mucked up situation.
Or some other bad idea of most peculiar nature (considering it's DIscord behind it).
5645156 Yeah, I considered that. For my purposes I needed Twilight to be more respectful of Fluttershy's privacy this time around.
5645356 Aaaah that's super kind of you to say. Thanks again!
5645437 *innocent whistling*
Gah I love this! Can't wait for more!! >w<
The ending of this chapter had me haha. Don't go leaving me too long on this cliff hanger! x3
5643031
Probably because she forgave him too easily for conquering Equestria and turning everyone's lives into a living hell (that's before they were even born, so it's not like he only just made a recent mistake or something). Being an absolute doormat who cares more about anyone who can say the word "sorry" whether they mean it or not, or animals (even more than her friends!) is essentially Fluttershy's canon character. That is why people write her that way.
It's rare that we see different, but it's very nice when we get to.
5646229 Yay, i'm glad to hear that! I won't make you wait too long, don't worry.
5647831 See, I totally get that Fluttershy's character is like that canonically, and it makes me absolutely crazy. She's been through so much that she should have learned greater self respect by now, in my opinion... Also, forgiveness is nuanced; it could be a sign of self respect to forgive someone rather than nursing old wounds indefinitely, but. Yeah. I'm glad you don't find it uninteresting to read a Fluttershy that has a limit to her forgiveness reserves.
5647856
It's the only way I consider her an actual character. GIVING her a personality. I also don't believe people should be nearly as free with forgiveness or redemption as Fluttershy seems to be. That's the sort of idiocy that gets you killed and swindled out here. It's sappy and one-dimensional that you forgive anything that isn't in the process of killing you, y'know? Ugh. Not to mention how she treated Applejack over the issue with the beaver. Forcing AJ to apologize to a foul-mouthed creature that was endangering her life's work and livelihood. Don't even get me started on Bats. The fact the writers always make Fluttershy turn out right in the end doesn't make her a good character or her 'choices' any more intelligent, or even make her a good friend.
Then we get writers in the fandom who give Fluttershy some depth. It's not often, but it happens. She'll never be my favorite of the Mane Six, but at least that way she feels more alive.
5650792 Hey, you're entitled to your own tastes in fics! I appreciate that you think the writing is good, and I think you only came off as the slightest bit of an ass.
I'm a big boy, though, and I do welcome the critique.
I am concerned that the story comes off like what you're describing, considering how that's not my intention at all... At no point do I say or intend to convey that "this is the one true way to respond to betrayal." My goal is to explore a trust dynamic between two characters that have a lot of chemistry in canon, not make Fluttershy a "mouthpiece." Also, I don't think disliking the style of fic that works with "what would happen if [x] happened instead of [y]?" is really something beyond personal taste, but if you can't suspend your disbelief enough to get into it, I really can't do much about that!
5647976 Fluttershy is the element of kindness, so I imagine her forgiveness reserves run pretty deep... also, this is just a fan-theory, but the reason she is so much more protective of animals before other ponies is a result of how much she was bullied as a filly. That can be alienating to people in reality and make them identify more with other creatures, resulting in transference-- projecting friendly feelings onto inanimate objects or animals because it's safer than trusting humans. The reason I wanted to work specifically with Flutt's and Discord's dynamic is because she seems to have let her guard down around him, and he's betrayed her multiple times. I think there's room for depth there specifically.
Why does Fluttershy have sideways cuttlefish eyes in that picture?
5653054 I like to draw weird eyes.
I like to withhold most criticism and compliments until more of the story is done, however, it is a very promising start. Too little is to say whether I will continue liking it since I do not know yet where exactly the story is heading beyond the description, but your first chapter of this story tells me that you have at least an excellent skill at writing as far as I can tell. I usually do not read these kinds of stories due to my worry that they will turn out like how Jarkes worried it would turn out, since those usually leave bad taste in my mouth, but it seems that is not the case here and I was intrigued by this particular approach to the subject. I will continue looking at this story and hope I will like it, good luck on the story. :)
P.S. The art for the picture for this story is really nice, and I personally like the eyes on it, even if it is a bit unusual.
P.S.S. While I know this does not have a romance tag I would like to see some fluttercord, but you do not have to, it is your story, I just am a sucker for fluttercord, but them being friends in this story is completely fine with me if that is what you plan on doing, just saying.
P.S.S.S. Sorry about bothering you with this comment if some part annoys you. Also sorry for no mlp faces, this is my first comment on the site. Also sorry for apologizing so much right here at the end.
P.S.S.S.S. Have a nice and good day :)
5653345 Next chapter please, I beg you.
5653864 What a nice and thoughtful bunch of comments, thank you! I'm really glad you like the weird Fluttershy picture. Also, welcome to Fimfiction! I haven't been using it consistently for as long as I've had this account, but I've found many good writers and stories here, so I hope it's a positive experience for you.
I completely understand your concerns. They are wholly valid, and I welcome any criticism to my work. It's in a public place, after all! All ten of the chapters of this story are already sketched out, so the sort of frustration I feel from comments like yours and jarkes' isn't a personal gripe. It's that I feel very certain that your fears will be assuaged in a few chapters, but saying so/how would spoil the story. I'm glad to hear that you're willing to keep an open mind, though! And I hold no grudge toward anyone for whom this story is not suited. Really.
As for FlutterCord: the only ambiguous part of the story that I'm still undecided on is whether or not to make it FlutterCord or just platonic. I figured it would be worse to have and then get rid of the romance tag than to add it at a later point, so... we'll see! My hangup isn't so much that I dislike the ship; it's more that I think Discord's core issue is his difficulty with ANY kind of relationship. Again, we'll see. I'll know by the time I have to write the third chapter.
5655149 Hahaha, you flatter me. I'm updating tomorrow afternoon!
This story hurts me... In the best of ways. Eeeeegh, I'm going to cry.
5656366 Haha! Thank goodness complimentary tissues come with every chapter.
Interesting.
I will find you. And I will slap you.
IF YOU DO NOT UPDATE!
5656591 How could I possibly say no to a double-edged, vaguely threatening comment?
5656608 Love your profile picture!
Also, what's the plot for this!? YOU HAVE TO UPDATE FASTER IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SLAP YOU!
5656611 Thanks!
Gosh, just when I was toying with the idea of changing it, you gotta say these nice words at it.
The plot for this is totally being built up in dramatic fashion and if it doesn't pay off by the end of chapter three, you get your money back. I'll force any tears you feel were wasted back into your eyes, too, but for a small service fee.
5656631 Just please update!
5656591
Here, have a clue: it is rude to threaten to slap people, even if it's a joke intended to convey that you like their story. As a writer, I do not feel good when someone threatens to hurt me if I don't update; I feel angry. I am not the only one; there is an entire community of fans who rant about things that make them mad about fanfic, and comments that threaten violence to an author and demand updates are something that get complained about like once a month or so (along with passive aggressive behavior from authors like "Review or I won't update!") So how about, if you actually like the story, show some respect to the author and don't be an asshat?
Well, well... That was interesting. What I´ve seen so far is quite good. In fact, I can´t really say that there are any problems with this. The characterization of the protagonists seems perfect, the attitude of the story could easily fit in the show, the interactions between Dash and Twilight are great and truly enjoyable... The only thing I feel more wary about is that "anti-magic" spell, but since you haven´t really gone too deep into it there is o problem. So far, great job. I´ll read next chapter and tel you what you think
I like the fact that even though Discord came to apologize, he is still being a vaguely threatening, overbearing ass. A lot of stories which do this kind of "Discord wants forgiveness" plot have him acting really hangdog and guilty, but I feel like that's not him; if he was feeling bad, he might clown even harder to try to distract himself from how bad he feels. I think he could come to a point where he was visibly upset, but that a story would need to show how he gets there, not just drop him into the story already like that and never show how it happened.
This is good; I'm looking forward to future chapters.
5656662 ...
I am an asshat? Your point?
Mwahahaha! It's all in good fun though! But honestly, this story is quite capable of becoming something great with feeling. There are a myriad of ways he or she could take this, and hell am I interested in the direction he or she is going to take us!
That was... intense. Yep, that´s the term I would use to describe it. Fluttershy confronting Discord was actually pretty cool, an event that you carried out completely in character. Discord´s ingenuousness is pretty plausible as well. I didn´t really like seeing Twilight being able to overpower Discord with magic, since... well, that´s basically against what the canon has stated in power principle, but that opinion is quite biased as well, since Discord is my favorite character. But I think it would have been more powerful had it been Fluttershy who made him quiet just telling him to or so. Anyway, good chapter, and I´ll keep following this story.
Yes, Discord is really in character because he have no idea how to really be sorry about something he doesn't fully understand. He never had a friend for eons. Ponioes kind of a look like asshats, tho. They are basically expect a creature who was a mad tyrant for decades and a prisoner for thousands of years to suddenly respect the values of friendship. Especially when no one except Fluttershy offered it to him. He should betray them 5 times and they should still be understandable toward his case. They expect too much from him. He never had anyone telling him how to act after all.
5656732 Thank you so much for reviewing both chapters separately, that's actually very useful! I don't want to spoil anything, but there is a reason for all of the information referred to that might seem extraneous at the moment. Hopefully later chapters will satisfy any loose ends you're seeing at the moment.
5656674 Aaah, I'm so glad you appreciate Discord being an insensitive jerk. That was my exact line of thinking; if he had to deal with someone else's emotions, he'd try to play it off like it was a joke until he had no choice but to take the situation seriously. I'm really glad that came across well.
Thanks for the thoughtful response!
5656931 Yes! I totally agree. To be honest, if we were to look at the way Discord was socialized from a psychological perspective, the way the ponies treat him (with suspicion and distrust) is counterproductive toward teaching him how to have healthy friendships that don't result in ponies getting betrayed all the damn time. I could write a whole separate fic where Discord goes through counseling instead of wild and crazy adventures, but that wouldn't be nearly as interesting.
This is very good. Characters are spot-on and the story looks promising. Take all the time you need, real life comes first.
To those who want updates faster than every 3 days, they should have a look at stories who haven't moved for years.
5660547 Thank you very much! Real life always takes priority, don't you worry. I'm a tough dude to guilt when it comes to stuff like this.
I do appreciate the encouragement and reassurance, though.
Good story so far. I'm interested to see where this goes. Also, I noticed one mistake you may wish to correct. Nothing to big, but I think it hould be "one" rather than "once".
Great story, and I really love Fluttershy's rejoinder. That said, I'm a little confused about Twilight's actions. Discord is a lot more powerful than any alicorn, even Twilight. I imagine she could whip up a ward on Fluttershy's house that he couldn't break without at least alerting Twilight, but there's no way she could turn him to stone on her own, alicorn or not. Unless you think that the rainbow power the Mane 6 used on Tirek is repeatable and can be sued to petrify Discord like the Elements of Harmony did?
5663320 I'm glad you like the story so far! And thanks for pointing out the grammar thing, I fixed it.
5664319 Thank you. Finding a balance for Fluttershy's personality has been a bit of work for me, but it's reassuring to hear that you think I'm doing okay so far.
As for Twilight's comment... maybe it'll be relevant later?
5664594 Well now I'm intrigued.
Doesn't work.
She got the key, twilight fundamentally has to view discord as a true friend, totally and completely. Else no way she could beat Tirek.
Discord- Hey girls! i bookmarked the relevant chapters of your friendship book on the keys to beat tirek.
Friends- *Ignore*
Discord- Fuck it, i'ma join tirek.
5664981 What part doesn't work because of that? I'm not asking to be a smartass, I really want to know so if I actually am drastically changing canon, I can slap an AU tag on it.
My logic in calling this true-enough-to-canon-that-no-AU-tag-is-necessary is that in this story, I make a point of saying that the other ponies forgive Discord. This isn't a story about how Fluttershy and Discord hate each other forever, it's about the process of repairing a friendship after a great betrayal (spoiler just in case)... Additionally, Discord is genuinely sorry and Twilight, in canon and in my story, realizes that; she's able to look past his betrayal because she was never as emotionally invested in her friendship with Discord as Fluttershy is/was. Her mission in looking for Discord wasn't to catch him and lock him up, it was to bring him back to Canterlot... I had hoped it would be apparent that that meant he was still considered an ally, if a volatile and untrustworthy one.
Which is related to your final comment: Exactly. Being treated as untrustworthy and disrespected (cough Applejack cough) isn't going to get you the best results. Fluttershy was the only one who "really didn't" expect the betrayal in pt. 2 of the finale.
5665684
Simplest answer, fluttershy's entire response to the betrayal after the fact was "You aren't quite there yet" regarding discord and a throne to which discord agreed.
Then forgiveness is not given.
You forgive and you move on.
She is now. Her element is the magic. His betrayal was her trial, that she would find his that friendship beautiful, wonderful, magical in the face of ultimate betrayal.
Of course The Rainbow clearly knew in advance what was going to happen so it's not like it was taking a risk or anything, just ensuring they were worthy, giving them the subtlest push.
You had him state rather explicitly he considers it such.
5665849
Hmm. Maybe I'll alter the long summary for this story clarifying that this is a hypothetical and non-canon extrapolation from a psychological point I find interesting so as not to confuse anyone else about what sort of story this is.
You're treating this like a black-and-white sort of paradigm, which it isn't. People don't just decide to let things go and then bam, forgiveness happens. It requires reconciliation of hurt, which can either be a very simple process or a drawn-out and troubling one, depending on the situation. If the hurt is severe enough, even if the two can "move on," there will be lasting damage (emotional trauma is a thing). This sounds to me more like your subjective opinion of how forgiveness "should" work.
I don't see how my story contradicts that point. See above response if you're unsure.
Yes, and..? I thought your point was that Twilight's view of the friendship was the one you took issue with?
5665849 I appreciate that you took the time to read and respond to my story, and I'm sorry that it doesn't work for you, but I'd prefer not to continue going back and forth about it. It seems I will just end up repeating the same points if this continues. I don't agree that the story doesn't work, and I'm not going to stop writing it, so... sorry you feel that way!
5665925
I don't expect you too, if it doesn't work then it doesn't work for me. Others will have other opinions.
5665894
It is also how i treat it.
Dude, you keep writing, I see no issue with the story. There are people who can't accept a story when it doesn't match their beliefs, I have probably been that person before. This time however IMHO, write it, finish it, let us see what you had in mind, where are you taking these characters. I, for one, am curious to know.