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RealityCheck

Joined August 2011
1,475 followers

Stories (10)

Blog Posts (108)

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Originally something of a short writing exercise. This Human In Equestria story skipped over a lot of the common events and went straight for the meat of the story--- the brony's first audience with Celestia. However, it gained a life of its own and developed-- gasp!--- a plot!

First Published
7th May 2012
Last Modified
26th Jun 2014

Comments ( 1,598 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 115w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

I loved every second i spent reading this fic, having a brony explain the TV show and us humans to Celestia is just awsome!

As a rabid fan of "humans in equestria" fics i must admit that in practicly all fanfics i have read my favorite part have always been when said human meets Princess Celestia, and in this fic you skipped how he ended up meeting Twillight and the gang and went straight to the meeting with the avatar of the sun, and i really liked that.  

I do hope there will be more to this fic, also, i just LOVED how he told Celestia how they should act if humans ever ended up in Equestria.

#2 · Chapter 1 · 115w, 3d ago · · ·

Interesting take on the genre, I tried to skip over the whole (Holy Crap I'm In Equestria) part when writing my story "Coming Attractions" due to it being just a bit repetitive, and it's always better when done properly to get to the meat of the story right away!

#3 · Chapter 1 · 115w, 3d ago · · ·

I think this is the first Brony in Equestria story in a long time that hasn't made my spleen try to exit my body at high velocity :rainbowdetermined2:.

I see this as a deconstruction more than a story. It picks a specific issue that tends to get overlooked and goes into it in detail. Very good detail I may add. I'm not sure if I'd want to see this as an actual story though. I'm not sure where you'd go with it and I have to admit I'm so incredibly skeptical of there being any more good 'brony in Equestria' stories at this point. The good ideas, for the most part, have been/are being done and the rest tend to be awful self-inserts.

You are 100% on target with this particular thing though, the explanation of "YOU ARE COLORFUL TOY PONIES WHERE I COME FROM," tends to get glossed over. You need to check your spelling and formatting in a couple of places but the grammar is fairly solid. Overall it's a good piece.

#4 · Chapter 2 · 115w, 2d ago · 8 · ·

Judging by the social effects of globalization and the current trend towards the development of an empathic civilization, if the ponies delay the inevitable meeting long enough there should be no problem. Of course, we need significantly more time at our current rate of progress, but we're on our way. I dislike the solution of potentially militarizing the ponies to the same level in some way. They seem to have largely achieved the peaceful civilization we are currently still striving for, and so it would seem to be a step backward somehow. Here's hoping the solution your character comes up with is a peaceful one worthy of the civilization he intends to use it to protect.

#5 · Chapter 2 · 115w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

Another great chapter, i really liked the VERY valid point you brought up in the beginning of the fic, that Celestia and Luna kept the newly arrived Human close to themselves.

It is true what you said, not many leaders would keep a brand new intelligent species out of their reach, and in 99,8% of all human in equestria fics all human meetings with celestia goes like this "i will try to find a way to send you back to your home, please unknown creature i don't know, do stay with my most priced pupil whitout any form of security whatsoever."

#6 · Chapter 2 · 115w, 2d ago · 6 · 5 ·

>>561989

You are aptly named, Humanist. Unfortunately the material evidence contradicts the philosophical theory. More to the point, counting on the inherent goodness of Humankind to surface before making contact would be playing Russian Roulette with an entire planet. While there are powers and nations that would be more or less benevolent and would make important allies, the odds are far more in favor of Equestria first making contact with the equivalent of Al Qaeda, the Nazi Regime, Communist China, Or any one of a thousand tinpot banana republics led by a man with a bad hat and a funny mustache and a penchant for dropping people in woodchippers who displeased them.

Diplomacy is required for dealing with ANY of our race. And diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" while fishing about for a sufficiently large rock. Even Jesus, when sending his disciples out to preach the gospel of love and salvation to the world, warned his disciples to carry a sword, and if they did not have one to sell their robes and buy one, because it was and still is a terrible and dangerous world.

#7 · Chapter 2 · 115w, 2d ago · · 1 ·

When he talks about it being that simple, I'm thinking whenever the portal happens to re-open Celestia goes in and just grabs control of the sun/moon and smashing it into the planet.

#8 · Chapter 2 · 115w, 2d ago · · ·

>>564569 CRITICAL HIT: 99,999,999,999 DMG

#9 · Chapter 2 · 115w, 1d ago · 4 · ·

To everyone who's debating this, I hate to break it to you, but given that this is all headcanon, the author's views trump yours...since...you know...his story and all :rainbowlaugh:.

Actually the protagonist really does bring up a good point. Given that the vast, vast majority of leaders of nations both historic and modern are either a-moral or fully socio/psychopathic, if they just said "glass it," without any sort of warning there's little the ponies could do. Any meaningful speculation would be at the "prolonged conflict" stage, but that would also inevitably bring into the fact that the less insane parts of humanity probably wouldn't like killing cute, pastel ponies. Well some of them anyway. Potential civil wars! Revolution!

...I think I just unintentionally came up with an interesting story idea.

Well played though Realitycheck, since that wasn't the point of this chapter at all. The point was exploring someone honestly answering that question from a layman's perspective who wasn't familiar with the pony background. The way you wrote it is pretty much how I saw it happening and everyone's reactions are completely believable. I hope you continue this series, there are so SO many other elements in HiE fics that people don't touch and anything that gets people actually thinking about (and then hopefully writing about) these scenes/issues/ideas is good in my book. :yay:

Edit: REEEEEEAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLYYYYYY not sure I like seeing religion brought up in context with MLP. That is a minefield to say the least. I'm not even sure I'd trust a religious scholar to do it. :|

#10 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 1d ago · 1 · 1 ·

First!

#11 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

It really shows that you have put a great deal of thought into this great fic, and for that i thank you.

#12 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 1d ago · 6 · ·

So the Hogwarts solution. Clever.

Of course, the problem with such a solution is that it also inevitably limits the ponies' technological advancement. Humanity would not be able to use any of our more advanced technologies, but the ponies would never be able to obtain those technologies for themselves, either.

Also, well... electronics can be hardened against EMP. And besides, humans are creative, we'll find some way to work around it. Even when combined with your character's other ideas, this seems to be a temporary solution at best.

#13 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 1d ago · · ·

>>568279

I agree, I like my idea better.

#14 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 1d ago · · ·

>>569543

The problem with your idea is that it would make the ponies more violent, bloodthirsty and genocidal than the humans by several orders of magnitude. Not only are they clearly NOT like that (and would be horrified by the suggestion alone), but if they WERE like that it would mean that they were WORSE than humanity and that kind of defeats the whole point, I think. They would no longer be the "good guys" by comparison.

What's that quote? "He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

The "Hogwarts Solution" is probably the best solution for the given situation, though admittedly it is only a short-term solution. Hopefully said solution will last long enough for a more permanent solution to be found.

#15 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 22h ago · · ·

Think about it. The "Hogwarts Solution" plus the Poison Joak would throw the entire army out of wack. Twilight's horn went limp, so what happens if a human extremity went limp? That person couldn't do anything.

#16 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 21h ago · 2 · 1 ·

>>565982

Well that WAS the point. To admit to the existence of the issue, and largely set it aside for the sake of the story--- without diminishing its importance.  Ninety percent of the human race has some sort of religious beliefs, and those would affect how the human in question related to their situation. I myself am a Christian (independent Baptist), and as this is pretty much a self-insert fic, it IS a topic that would come up. And frequently. Arthur's conclusion is my own most likely one (one largely echoed by C.S. Lewis)- that whatever God's relationship is with His creation, the one for humanity and the one for a race of ponies in another entire universe is most likely to have similarities, but also be different in some fundamental fashion. (going off the fact, from Christian theology, that His covenant with the angels  is fundamentally different from the covenant with Humanity while still having points in common, such as morality and ethics.)

But I digress.

#17 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 21h ago · 3 · 1 ·

>>569543

Too bad the Equestrian solar system is radically different from the Human solar system. First,  the Earth orbits the Sun, and the human Sun is millions of times larger than the Earth. Creatures that can push around a sun and a moon that are only a fraction of the size of their own planet might have trouble shoving around something that size.

Two-- no magic, so no moving the sun, moon or earth anyway.

#18 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 21h ago · 2 · ·

>>570726

There is nothing I can possibly say that won't either be offensive, easily misconstrue-able, or create a debate that will not only derail all discussion at this point but bring up points a lot of people would rather not see discussed on a MLP forum. So I will simply say you are more well read than I am used to dealing with for people of your particular faith. However I am curious if this is going to become a large part of upcoming chapters because...I'm sorry I just can't see this ending well if it is.

#19 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 21h ago · · ·

>>568279

Yes, But they can't be made completely immune. And can they even be hardened against magic at all? It might be like trying to waterproof against fire.

The development issue has occurred to me, and will be mentioned. But then again-- magic. They can already do things with magic that we can't do with technology, so it's not hard to imagine parallel development in technology that circumvent the anti-tech obstacle. It might be an annoying impediment to certain avenues of research and development, but not much more than that.

#20 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 21h ago · · ·

>>570538

The sheer randomness of the effects would be the biggest havoc inducer. Armies depend on uniformity to a great degree. Even if your soldiers remain functional, how do you handle it when even their clothes no longer fit? To say nothing of the psychological effect.....

#21 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 21h ago · 2 · ·

>>570787

Judging from your comments about the nature of our universe (that is, no magic), it seems to me that if magic did have an EMP-like effect on electronics Equestria (which seems to be saturated in the stuff) would hardly even need the spell you proposed that would create the whole Hogwarts solution. If magic does not have such an effect on its own, then such a spell would be required. Judging by the versatility of magic, it would likely not be outside the realm of possibility to create a magically-fueled perpetual EMP, given powerful and skilled casters. However, while powered by magic, said pulse would still be electro-magnetic in nature and not magical (that is, the part that actually causes the effect on the electronics in question), and so could be shielded against just like a conventional EMP.

#22 · Chapter 4 · 114w, 6d ago · · ·

Wait what? Is that it?:derpyderp1:

#23 · Chapter 4 · 114w, 6d ago · · ·

I need more of this fic. Plain and simple. Some minor grammar and typing errors here and there but nothing that makes the story unreadable, I just can't walk away without knowing what Celestia & Luna are up to!.. Though I would hazard a guess that they've been opening portals intentionally, stealing random objects, until they decided to take Arthur here in, and pretended to know nothing until he proved his trustworthy-ness.

#24 · Chapter 4 · 114w, 6d ago · · ·

I tend to shun HiE fanfics, to the point of never before reading one, but this seems much more thought out than "OMG! I'm in Equestria!" that (I assume) most HiEs consist of. I especially like that the "Hogwarts solution" isn't just having an anti-tech spell (which, it's rightly pointed out, would make life impossible), but focuses in on a particular facet.

I do have to wonder, if this fic ever pits human vs. pony, if the humans won't adopt a "Napolean Solution" that involves using deliberately downgraded (but functioning) technology. Heliographs and biplanes may not exactly be state of the art, but they wouldn't run afoul of EMP either.

#25 · Chapter 4 · 114w, 6d ago · · ·

I know this is overused, but . . .

:flutterrage:MOAR!:flutterrage:

This is my favorite part of a HiE fic. The meeting between human and Celestia, the culture shock, the technology shock. It's great!

#26 · Chapter 4 · 114w, 6d ago · · ·

Sorry about the constant fiddle-faddling. I goofed with the editor and posted only part of chapter 4 before it was done.

Hope everyone takes time to read the whole thing again.

#27 · Chapter 4 · 114w, 6d ago · · ·

We meet again, cliffhanger.

#28 · Chapter 4 · 114w, 6d ago · · ·

The awsomness has been doubled!!

#29 · Chapter 4 · 114w, 3d ago · · ·

Great story so far,very different form the usual HiE stories that I read, can't wait for another chapter!!

#30 · Chapter 3 · 114w, 2d ago · · 1 ·

I wasn't so sure on the first two chapters, but now I just love this fic.

Thanks!

#31 · Chapter 5 · 114w, 20h ago · 7 · ·

Fanon wins again!

#32 · Chapter 5 · 114w, 18h ago · · ·

I love this! :pinkiehappy:

#33 · Chapter 5 · 114w, 18h ago · 1 · ·

I think I liked this when it was exploring topics that most fic authors don't touch. Now...it's falling flat pretty hard.

#34 · Chapter 5 · 114w, 14h ago · 1 · ·

Keeping an eye on the young lady, are we?" He blushed a bit, then straightened up like a soldier at review and gave a single no-nonsense nod. "Her Mum asked me to take good care of her little muffin, sir," he said.

........

cuteness .... overload...... cant type ....... must warn comunity........ (HEAD IMPLODES) :derpytongue2:

#35 · Chapter 5 · 114w, 11h ago · · ·

Once again my day has been brightend by this masterpiece of a fic.

#36 · Chapter 5 · 114w, 10h ago · 8 · ·

>>605082

well, they can't ALL be profound.

(eats his banana.)

#37 · Chapter 5 · 114w, 7h ago · · ·

>>605879 Your gonna have a chapter in the museum right? Im kinda curious as to how they will react.

#38 · Chapter 5 · 114w, 2h ago · 3 · ·

Oh god, I just thought of the worst possible situation at the museum.

"Now this i- … Um, this is what we call an... electric... chair..."

:rainbowhuh: "Why do humans call it that?"

"Uh, how about we pass this. Now this is... a part of..."

"…"

"Ok, may I speak with who's in charge of the display placement?"

Ect. With the worst items from humans you can think of XD

#39 · Chapter 6 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

dude plz continue this series. this is funny as hell bro! :pinkiehappy:

#40 · Chapter 6 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

My sides, you can have all of them!:rainbowlaugh:

#41 · Chapter 6 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

Pure awsomness, that's what this fic is!

#42 · Chapter 6 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

:rainbowlaugh: Yep, Pinkie works in strange and mysterious ways :pinkiehappy:

Also, Dusty Tomes description sounds really familiar... I can't place my hoove on were... :trixieshiftleft:

Aw well, great chapter, and I can't wait to read about the tour :rainbowkiss:

:twilightangry2: MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRR :flutterrage:

#43 · Chapter 6 · 113w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

Okay...fairly new to this site, and just about as new to the fandom as a whole (sweet irony: it was brought to my attention by a friend who utterly hates it)...and I've been following this piece from the beginning.

And, might I add, loving every minute of it.

What started off as an almost "narrative essay" sort of thing trying to capture nuances of the Earthling-meets-Sugarbowl concept not usually explored in so many other stories I've seen in my browsing, has become a simply enjoyable romp of characterization.  Sometimes insightful, sometimes downright adorable, but consistently entertaining and frequently hilarious.  I don't even care if this is going toward some epic plot twist war story direction or not, I am honestly simply eating up the character interactions and humor and want to see more.

After all, isn't the character depth and comedy what really draws the older (and, well, more mature) audiences to this franchise?

By all means, please keep it up!

By the way.  "Happy 'You Belong In A Museum' Day"?  ...really, Pinkie?

Priceless.

#44 · Chapter 6 · 113w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

>>607280

Indeed, if I was a lazy bastard of a writer, I could go that route.

#45 · Chapter 6 · 113w, 6d ago · 7 · ·

My god, it's official: Pinkie is the Royal Festivities Planner. No party will ever be the same again. :pinkiecrazy:

#46 · Chapter 6 · 113w, 5d ago · 5 · ·

Coincidentally, everything about lefthandedness in this chapter is quite correct. Google for more info.

#47 · Chapter 6 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

Harty harty har.

#48 · Chapter 6 · 113w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

(meanwhile back in canterlot castle) :trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

#49 · Chapter 4 · 113w, 3d ago · · ·

>>575669 That explains so much! I only saw him get to the toy part and then it ended. When there was nothing else in the next chapter, I had no idea what had happened.

#50 · Chapter 7 · 113w, 1d ago · 8 · ·

........ Well, now Freeman teaches math.

Pip + some form of philosophy = DAWWWWWWWWWW

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