Source
<

Criticul 76482

Joined December 2011
168 followers

    Groups

    Criticul's Stories (7)

    • Remember When
      Celestia and Discord's beginnings

      13,228 words · 2,700 views · 95 likes · 2 dislikes
    • Her Majesty Walks
      Luna finds peace with herself
      2,686 words · 1,651 views · 92 likes · 4 dislikes
    • Her Smile
      Luna and Fluttershy spend some time together at the Midnight Star Celebration
      19,054 words · 5,322 views · 184 likes · 12 dislikes
    • The Life We Knew
      Twilight uncovers what life means to her
      1,840 words · 504 views · 45 likes · 2 dislikes
    • She
      1,066 words · 242 views · 21 likes · 0 dislikes
    • The Last Book
      3,630 words · 608 views · 28 likes · 1 dislikes
    • Rebirth
      3,429 words · 437 views · 26 likes · 3 dislikes

    The greatest deceit in life is the illusion that all things are true. As Luna finds out, even the most tangible of things can be just a figment lost in time.

    Art by White-Pwny on deviantart. They do excellent work, so go check em out there --> http://white-pwny.deviantart.com/

    Do it. You know you want to.

    First Published
    8th May 2012
    Last Modified
    8th May 2012

    Comments ( 28 )

    #2 · 54w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    *clap clap clap*

    #3 · 54w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>559243 I'm guessing you liked it? :P

    #4 · 54w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Maybe...:pinkiehappy:...yes

    #5 · 54w, 2d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    That was sad, in a good way.

    #6 · 54w, 2d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>563538 that's what I was going for! :D

    #7 · 54w, 2d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    I see that my comment was removed for spoils.

    #8 · 54w, 2d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>563605 indeed. took me long enough. XP

    #9 · 54w, 2d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    This is the kind of story where I read it, then I immediately wanted to read it again and try to figure out what was real and what it all meant.  And after reading it a second time, I'm still not totally sure.

    #10 · 54w, 2d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>563618 Ahh, that is the thing though! Who is to say what's real, and what's not? That's probably the main thing I was trying to go for here. "The greatest deceit in life is the illusion that all things are true"

    #11 · 54w, 2d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    That...was a very good story. It had happy moments, then it turned to sad, I still enjoyed it very well.

    #12 · 54w, 2d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Good story and good use or repetition, but would you please add the alternative universe tag?

    #13 · 54w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>564535 done. :)

    #14 · 54w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    :raritycry: Tears have been shed.

    #15 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Added to read-later queue. How does something with this much promise have fewer than 500 views? Everypony that reads this should be spreading the word, or something.

    #16 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Well written, powerful emotions. I enjoyed it, bravo! :twilightsmile:

    #17 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    A very enjoyable read! I actually had to stop a moment and notice - how does a 2k word story possess the ability to so move its audience? It would have to be awesome. From setting to structure, circumstance to characters, everything would require a near perfect alignment.

    Bravo.

    :pinkiehappy:

    #18 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    That was amazing, it was deep, and yeah, it brought up the question asked in the description. Just, yes.

    #19 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    An excellent story my good sir, an excellent story indeed.

    #20 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    By Celestia's Beard!

    #21 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Very heartwarming, very sad... and simply beautiful

    #22 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    It's heartbreakingly beautiful. The physical contact between the two of them upped the poignancy of the dialogue; coupled with Luna's realization it turned into something so bittersweet.

    Have my +fav.

    #23 · 53w, 2d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    The amazing thing is how after the reveal... you can re-read the story and realise that EVERYTHING THEY SAID MAKES SENSE, but the meaning behind the words is so different. The illusion was not just Luna's, but ours as well.

    #24 · 53w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    I won't deny, the twist at the end is really clever, and I don't know of many fics that depict a dead Celestia alongside a still-living Luna, but...

    The biggest problem is that far too much of their emotions are told. Indeed, this story is too sparse. It's in dire need of some fleshing out so we really feel their bond and the issues passing between them.

    As touching as their reunion is, it and the twist raise a number of questions that undermine the moment.

    If Luna never really went to the moon, why does she have memories of having been there for a thousand years? If she’s been on Equestria, ruling it alone for a thousand years, why is it only now that she has fake memories? It’s one thing to live a lie, it’s a whole other thing to think you’ve been somewhere you clearly know you haven’t for a thousand years.

    At first it seemed like Celestia was a hallucination but the ending paragraph states that her spirit is watching over Luna—if she’s a hallucination, why did Luna only see her after a thousand years? If she’s really Celestia, why did she wait a thousand years to absolve herself and talk to Luna?

    Speaking of the ending paragraph, I won't harp on that too much as I know why you added it, but, again, this story could really use some fleshing out. Unfortunately, the ending paragraph greatly weakens the poignancy of the repeated opening monologue. Rather than an infodump at the end, more attention should have been placed on gradually revealing and clarifying everything from the moment Luna's maid brought her back to reality.

    “but I know that is you’ve always been at heart.” – Missing word.

    “My endearing existence” – Are you sure you didn’t mean “enduring”?

    #25 · 50w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Look what you've done! You've gone and made me depressed :( . Excellent little story.

    #26 · 50w, 17h ago · · ·
    Reply 

    i feel like listening to the game of thrones them in a corner of dark room.

    mind Fu****

    #27 · 37w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    "since that faithful day" I suspect you mean "fateful"

    #28 · 37w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1209888 I can't remember exactly why I picked the word "faithful" instead of "fateful" but I know it was for a reason!

    :twistnerd:

    0 24844 76458
    Anonymous comments currently disabled. Please register to make comments