Yakky Ki-Yay
Mirror Caves – Interior
"Buuuurrrrp!" A yak tossed an empty mead bottle behind his hairy head. Shatter! "And that's when I gored him with my scythe! HAH! Let's see a diamond dog crawl back from that! Shit on yak lawn, will you?!"
"Haah haah haah!" Another yak reeled in the center of the furry group. "Yak brother's yak snow turned brown!"
"Shut up!"
"Hah hah hah!"
"Brown yak snow, yak brother!"
"Hahahahahah!" Damn Thickerhoof chugged a bottle of mead, then wiped the foam off his hairy lips. "My snow is whitest of yak snow! But when I get puny crystal pony snow... yaks will paint it red in the blood of the weak!"
"Why wait?! Why not bleed puny pony hostages!"
"Don't tempt me, yak brothers!"
"Hah hah hah hah..." Gradually, the laughter of the militants faded. They collectively stared south at the mouth of the cave, their beady eyes blinking.
"Heheheh... heh..." Thickerhoof wiped his muzzle again. "Why yaks no laugh? Am I not funny when I want to be?!" When his response drew dead silence, he turned around and squinted curiously in the direction of their combined gaze. His hairy ears tickled to the sound of a solitary set of hooves.
Flash Sentry marched icily towards the twelve yaks. The front chamber to the cave dwarfed his small orange frame. Nevertheless, a pair of cold blue eyes glinted in the reflective light of the Mirror Caverns' crystalline interior.
From afar, the huddled group of citizens watched with their muzzles dropped.
"Puny pony... signs death warrant," Muttered a yak.
"Grrrrrrr!" Snarling, Damn Thickerhoof randomly uppercutted his lackey into silence. WHUD! He grabbed his huge, hulking axe and dragggggggged it across the cave, producing sparks. With heavy, thundering hooves, the militant yak leader approached Flash Sentry's tiny frame head-on. "What is the meaning of this?! Do puny ponies have no decency when dealing with superior yak warriors?!"
Flash Sentry said nothing. Frowning, he trotted slowly towards the bearded menace.
"Little weakling feather duster is not wanted!" Thickerhoof huffed, beating his chest and slamming his axe down as he leaned on it. "Does puny pony wish to incite war! Hrfff! I am Damn Thickerhoof the Turgid! And if you take one more step, I will paint the insides of this stupid cave with your intestines—"
Fwooooosh! With a single wing-flap, Flash Sentry propelled himself forward. He glided between Thickerhoof's legs. When he exited past the large creature's tail, he dug his front hooves into the ground and slammed his rear legs up—WHUDDD!—violently impacting Thickerhoof's groin.
"Grkkkk!" Thickerhoof's eyes crossed. His body turned hard as stone as he teetered over with a high-pitched: "Meeep?" THUD!
Every yak, pony, and foal gasped.
Flash Sentry didn't blink. Even as—CLAAANG!—Thickerhoof's axe fell over, forming cracks in the glossy floor.
The remaining eleven yaks exchanged glances. SCHIIIIIIIING! They all drew their weapons at once and—"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"—charged Flash Sentry's body like an avalanche of fur.
Flash Sentry backflipped several feet, galloped on all fours towards the yaks, and threw his body into a sliding kick. "Grnnngh!" His outstretched hooves struck Thickerhoof's prone axe lengthwise. CLAAAK! The gigantic weapon went sliding across the cavern floor.
Startled, all eleven yaks hopped in mid-charge to avoid having their limbs lopped off.
Swish-swish-swish! The sliding axe scraped past them... and straight into a tall teetering stack of the previous week's supply crates. Smash! The mountain of wooden supplies creaked, groaned, and then toppled over onto the yaks.
The warriors shrieked into the impending shadow. CRASSSSH! Ten of them were instantly drowned in a sea of exploding splinters.
A single yak stood unscathed, shivering in fright. Swoooosh! The air whistled, forcing him to look straight up. His beady eyes reflected an incoming orange shape. "Aaaaaaaaah—!" He shrieked, his uvula flailing.
"Grrrrngh!" Flash Sentry came down with a massive right hook to the yak's face. WHACK! Blood and saliva stained the cave floor as the yak joined his squirming brethren amidst the sea of debris.
Seething, Flash Sentry spun about-face and—FWOOOOSH!—glided directly towards the hostages.
"Everypony!" Flash exhaled, hoisting the foals and chaperones up to their hooves. "Head towards the back of the cave!"
"What?!" One adult mare gasped. "B-but that's past the rope barrier!" She frowned. "Are you nuts?! You'll get us all killed—"
Flash yanked her by the shoulder. "Shut the hell up!" He clenched his teeth. "And do what I tell you!"
Thwissssssh! Chtinkkk! A spear embedded into a wooden crate beside them.
The chaperone shrieked and galloped away, fleeing past the roped barrier while Flash Sentry spun around.
One yak had climbed out of the mess. While his companions struggled to stand up, he gripped another spear and held it over his head. "Going to feed puny pony his feathers through a straw!" With a grunt, the yak threw the second spear like a javelin.
Thwissssssssh—!
Without a second's hesitation, Flash yanked loose the spear beside him and swung it like a cricket back. "Grfff!" Clank! He miraculously deflected the yak's weapon. Then, within the same breath, the pegasus spun his whole body in mid-air, flinging the remains of the first spear back.
Swoooosh!
The yak warrior easily side-stepped the javelin. "Haah! Feather pony throws like a sissy mule—" Next came Flash's helmet, hitting the yak's face dead center. CLAAAANG! "AAAUGH!"
FWOOOSH! Flash Sentry sailed straight towards him with both hooves drawn together. "Rrrrr-RAAAUGH!" He uppercutted the yak so hard that three bloodied teeth sailed through the air above.
Thwump! The yak's body dropped like a sack of meat. Flash Sentry hovered in the air above him, heaving. Schiiiing! At the tell-tale sound of a dragged axe, Flash looked up.
Wincing, Damn Thickerhoof had recovered. He marched angrily towards the pegasus with a limp, hissing the entire way. Ten more yaks joined the leader's side.
Flash glared back. With a grunt, he kicked the bleeding yak at his side—just because he could—and then flew off in an orange-and-blue streak, catching up to the fleeing hostages.
"GET THEM!" Damn shouted, pointing with his axe. "CRUSH THEM! FEED ME THEIR GUTS!"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The entire squad of militants charged with a blood-curdling scream, sending thunderous echoes throughout the chamber.
"Go! Go!" Flash Sentry flew alongside the schoolfoals and chaperone. He weaved his way in and out of the stalagmite forest, panting for breath as he guided them along. "Careful! Don't touch any of the rocks!"
"Where are we going?!" yelped a foal.
"Trust me!" Flash picked up a foal under each arm and hurried them along. "Everything's going to be okay!"
"I swear..." An adult mare hyperventilated as their group approached a reflective wall of mirroring surfaces. "If you get any of these children slaughtered, it's on your Captain's head—"
"In here!" Flash exclaimed, dropping two foals off besides a dark alcove set within the wall of the cave. "Everypony! Inside now!"
"We c-can hardly fit—!" a chaperone complained.
"Do it or you'll be fitting just nicely in a casket!" Flash barked.
"No caskets will be necessary, glue sticks!"
The hostages shrieked, clinging to one another.
Flash spun around, placing himself in front of them.
The yaks had cornered the ponies. Damn Thickerhoof leaned against his axe with a hairy smirk while his companions shook with bloodthirtsy anger. "There is nowhere to go, stupid ponies. And once I get ahold of you... they'll be shipping your remains in bottles to the halls of the Crystal Empire..." His beady eyes flickered red. "Right as they receive the Yakyakistani proclamation of WAR!"
The other militants roared with fury.
Flash stood his ground, eyes narrowing.
"So what will it be, hmmm?" Damn Thickerhoof took the first of many threatening steps across an array of crystalline rock formations. "Shall I start with the children first?"
Flash didn't say a word. Instead, he pivoted his entire body and bucked a single stalagmite with a grunt.
Damn Thickerhoof scuffled to a stop, his eyebrow arched curiously. Just then... a distant rumbling rose in thunderous cadence. The rumbling then turned into a tremor... and finally into a violent earthquake.
The yaks looked around nervously.
At last, a slice of color caught Thickerhoof's attention. He looked behind his buddies at a line of rope—beside which there stood a bright yellow sign with the image of a stalagmite in red. Gasping, he looked straight up as the first of several crystalline shards fell upon his brow.
"Go!" Flash hissed, shoving the rest of the hostages into the sheltered alcove. "Huddle together!"
A violent rain of heavy stalagtites plummeted from the cave ceiling... burying the militants entirely. There was a brief, high-pitched shriek and then—SMASSSSSSSSSSH!—Thickerhoof and his gang disappeared beneath a thick carpet of crystal shards. A wave of glass-like powder flew in a cloud across the floor of the cave.
"Get down!" Flash covered as many foals as he could with his body. They yelped in fright, clinging to him as—
FWOOOOOSH!
—darkness enveloped the tense scene.
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YESSSS!!!
That was satisfying...*zip*
seriously those yaks had it coming...even more so when you consider what they were thinking about before flash came in.
Flash. Motherfucking. Sentry.
Whelp. If a prologue is 30k words, than an Act is like, what, 120k? Not quite a full 10 days later but it certainly hit over the 30k minimum.
Here's to some light reading!
Flash's badassery just spiked so high it could say hello to the ayyy lmaos.
I mean, I know Skirts likes Flash for some reason, but Flash suddenly turning into an action hero and Worfing Shining and Cadence. Hnngh. The reason your superiors tell you not to do something is because the likelihood of doing it your way is going to get people killed, and all your heroics mean you walk out with fewer allies/hostages or whatnot than you would have gotten if someone smarter enacted or came through with a plan, or if people better suited and equipped for the task went in and did what you did instead of you.
7373952 Yeah, but this is basically a comic book story. While hostage negotiation can make for interesting plot, I'm pretty sure that's not the direction Skirts is going with this.
And really, better to nip this plot thread in the bud before it sprouts another hundred thousand words.
7374016
I was thinking more one of those breach-team kinda deals. Trojan Horse-it as a supplies delivery, extract the kids, seal the cave and tell Yakyakistan to come pick up their guys and to keep them. Any way you look at it, Flash just risked the lives of children when he didn't necessarily have to.
7374047 Fair enough. But I'm sure this will have ramifications. Flash is clearly going to be at least a minor character, if not a member of the main cast, and this sub-plot may well be the beginning of his arc. Given his representation in the fandom, I think that hubris and impulsiveness are appropriate character flaws for him to overcome.
That being said, I think Skirts is overdoing it a bit. Yeah, there isn't really anything wrong with Flash Sentry as a character, but turning him into an action hero seems unjustified.
I'm starting to get a feeling that this is more of a Justice League or Avengers story then just a "Lyra as a superhero" story.
Okay so we've gotten a connection for Lyra in the guard who saved her and said guard being badflank enough to risk the lives of so many foals on a RAM-bo mission like a boss. We got Twilight chasing after Lyra now to try and 'reconnect' with the ONE neglected friend she didn't try to get in touch with. We also setup a base of operations for potential future gatherings of newer heroes to be inducted to a sort of Avengers style compound if we go that route. We have potential King Pin levels of corruption to visit later on.
But most importantly. It gave us a link into when we might see things move along. Appleloosa!
My guess being that Twilight eventually meets up with Lemon Hearts and tag teams Lyra
in a G rated non-cloppy way so get your mind out of the gutterand likely intervene to get her some much needed help that Twilight ends up pitching in for? Maybe? Perhaps I'm trying too hard to think of how Twilight can work into all this when she'll probably not show up until much later...Yeah. This story is so going at the pace of Dare Devil it hurts.
In a good, but also bad, way. I personally feel it's starting to go somewhere at least. But damn. Buck 30k words! I think I'll come back when there's like 60k more. This is like trying to watch a soap opera on TV and every time you finally get to see some of the POV story you want to see more of, your 20 seconds are up and you end up going through 12 others before you end up having to wait for the next episode and hope they give another 20 seconds at LEAST of the stories.
Yes, I'm being terribly lazy writing numbers. It's 4:36AM and I'm still trying to digest what feels like 7 minutes worth of on-screen moments from these 32ishk words.
I want more Lemon Hearts, she's got my interest. Twilight fits well, Starlight was written really well and the introduction of technology and how TV is used to manipulate the minds of the meek and such where information is heavily controlled and manipulated as it's spoon fed to us like some meticulous weightloss program. The Rhino Bete and Sweetie Drops flatter than a week old open can of cheap store brand cola, but overall it worked well with setting up a potential spark for a love rivalry? Who knows. So much shit can happen in this story at this point including focusing 10 chapters on Princess Cadance for all we know at this point.
I'll read pretty much anything when I can't sleep. But I do feel bad for everyone whose been reading this religiously on a daily basis. It doesn't seem fair to them in that it feels like this story is winging it way too hard. It's making progress towards its intended goal at least so who knows. Feels like things might happen within 15k more words. Whose to say?
See ya in another 30k-60k!
I'm pretty sure that Flash just caused war to erupt with the Yaks.
Wasn't there a character named Shell in this story? And we need more Chryssie.
Those Yaks wernt there for land, they were there to provoke a conflict because they are built and psyched for combat. Coming face to face with an overwealming force they know they cant even dream to compete with subjugates their ego so hard they will do anything and everything in their frustration to be seen as the most powerful.
Me Yak, Me Powerful, Me throw rattle out of crib if not treated as god I am.
You know, these Yaks remind me of Super mutants from the fallout series.
Awesome as this was, it could backfire horribly. Flash will be lucky if all that happens is that he gets dishonorably discharged. This could result in the deaths of the hostages, Yakyakistan declaring war, all manner of horrendous blowback.
On the other hand, he may have just won Yakyakistan's respect. It remains to be seen.
Hmmm, something's off here.
That's better.
And then Flash's life ended. Not due to being buried alive but being killed by Captain Shining Armor.
7374650 Red wunz go fasta
7374327 funny that’s pretty much how i see the fandom acting towards ponies^^
7374828
Dey lost to da pony cuz dey didn't got no dakka. Whot kinda nob got no dakka for da boys?
As much as I despise Flash... making him actually useful makes me despise him just a little less. Of course, him being good at combat and acting as a vigilante doesn't make him a hero - just somepony who's doing what needs to be done. I'm curious as to why Skirts is going this route with the Yak situation. It seemed to be an ideal setup for Shellstrings to come in and save the day, yet we seemingly get resolution to it now with Flash. Is this supposed to inspire Lyra in some way?
7374143
Your analysis of the story gave me more hope for this being decent than the 66,319 words I've read so far
7374089
Both ways the story could go have merit but you're right, it does seem to be setting itself up for some kind of organization to form.
Not Yippy Ki-yak?
7375059
We know what weaponry the yaks use. We also have no idea how powerful the princesses are because they are consistently Worfed every time they appear, especially Celestia. That's a matter of shorthand writing, not how the characters themselves should/should not be in the 'verse. And I said the THREAT of. Even if they are just the stewards of the heavens and otherwise even weaker than Twilight when she was a normal mortal unicorn somehow, it's still a good threat - especially considering how dumb yaks are. The yaks fear them to some extent because they demanded the Diarchs stay out of the situation, for that reason. My tactics are sound.
7375249 Now you're just being cruel. Also completely false. The setup for Lyra's Appleloosan trip is likely to come in the second act? Yes, SS&E derped the story description a bit. Who ever clicks on "More+" button, amiright? It makes it seem as if the story is ALL about Lyra. But if one were to read things more clearly and ignore some of the descriptive flaws, It's clearly not. Anyone whose been reading the first 30k words and still hasn't caught on has missed the fine print locked behind that one mouse click.
How is life changing? Well, what we could have gotten in a simple passage we got in 66k words. The prologue was to show the birth of the changelings and the origins of S.M.I.L.E. which will be playing a big role in this story alongside Lyra. It's an SS&E fic so expect a lot of expositioning.
It all seems unrelated but Flash was tied to Lyra since the start. He's going to be something to her as she even gets flustered just thinking about her savior. Give it time.
Setting up the world. Why it's changing. How it creates new challenges for our heroes. What dangers we'll have to face along the ways that only the Shellstrings and friends can handle.
Spoilers. But this so called unrelated chapters has setup our Lyra to begin her road to 'recovery' unbeknownst to her. So I at least expect this to come about sooner than later. Shouldn't take long given she and Lemon Hearts are already heading to Ponyville. Where a certain Princess resides whose been looking for this elusive, mint, potty mouth of a pony.
See those bolded words? The very things these unrelated chapters since "The Princess of Friendship" has been setting up has been getting introduced to us in the story. It's going to take a bit before you get to the juicy parts of the main focus of the story that tackles these in any super hero fashion, given we haven't created the scenario for our hero quite yet. Spider Man didn't start off as Spider Man, as much as those countless Sony reboots kept reminding us...
I'm not defending SS&E's direction with the story, but if you pan out a bit more and stop being so short-sighted, and cruel, you'd see you're actually getting what you came for. At least if you're willing to wait given we still have Twilight, Lemon Hearts, and Sweetie Drops to deal with in Ponyville which Lyra will have to face at some point before she ever agrees to go to any therapy get-aways. Not barring any other potential side characters that could become pivotal to the story like Filthy Rich and his family as he gets deeper in with certain circles for all we know.
World building. It can be short and to the point. Other times it can be quite long before one gets to what one would feel is where the real heart of a given story should have started on. This is one of those longer approach style fics.
This? See this? This is exactly why I've not complained about this story as a "false advertisement" as so many have. Especially given what comes after:
What that all translates into? An excuse to write any POV he damn well wishes for as long as he wants to drag it out for. But despite how much SS&E loves to fool around he does intend to very much 'get to the point' as soon as it feels right. We've yet to even touch on the going-ons of Canterlot yet as well, so there's going to be that. Eventually.
TL;DR: I ain't got shit. It is what it is.
7375167 Hang in there. If you're in need of something to read you can check out Re:Harmony or something. Should tie you over until SS&E pulls out the Shellstrings. :P
Cute avatar, by the way.
7376118
Thanks
Oh I'll still be here reading this story, I wouldn't pass up a Skirts daily fic. You, however, managed to connect the dots quite well and caused me to get excited for the potential future of the story.
Predictions! What's the bet that the Crystal Empire denies any part of the cave-in blaming it on the yaks or some freak accident to avoid war altogether? The hostages miraculously survive, the Crystal Empire can claim they were doing all they can to negotiate, the media and the public eats it up, and there will be no yaks to tell otherwise. Aside from keeping the hostages quiet, that should hopefully resolve things here.
Flash will also probably get reprimanded and discharged, setting him up as another potential hero (I'm reaching here but probably the type who refuses to let bureaucracy get in the way of injustice) if we're gonna go the with the team of heroes thing. Guess we'll find out soon enough.
That's one way to do it. I mean, Flash'll probably at least get a chewing out, but hey, the public will see him as a hero, so things'll probably turn out okay for him.
You're a loose cannon, Flash! You're way outta line! Keep pullin' stunts like this and I'll have your badge!
7378873 Then what followed next makes it quite the metaphor.
No one appreciates art anymore.
7377834 Needs more Kung and Fury. Actually, how Skirts hasn't made a spoof of Kung Fury with Flash yet is mind boggling.
7378665 That was beautiful. A damn shame I can't add comments into my favs list. I don't know how Skirts wouldn't love that.
So is SMILE going to recruit badassery around Equestria, because it seems we've got a candidate in Flash? Methinks there may be some influence on this story from another story with a certain Khepri in it.
If Flash Sentry is treated as an unequivocal hero for reckless civilian endangerment and direct disobedience of his leader's orders, you will have gone too far.
Also, that random mish-mash of bolds, italics and sound effects makes for a very confusing and difficult-to-enjoy fight scene. For me, at least.
I never expected to actually cheer for Flash...
Well done...
~Skeeter The Lurker
Yeah... Flash might be starting a war. Like, actually might be instigating a full fledged war.
OK this made me laugh.
Also glad to see you not going the annoying "Flash Hate" route and actullu making him a character and not a punching bag for unexplainable reasons.
Though his actions are going to have drastic consequences.
Well, that seems reasonable. The Yaks are portrayed as barbarians who value nothing but strength and violence, so Flash provides exactly that.
They'll love him.
Flash Sentry.
You either gotta love him or hate him.
7543484
Or apathy, though skirts is giving him an awesome time here so far. Getting a small Die Hard or Lethal Weapon vibe.
Damn Thickerhoof: damn thick. No surprises there. (And yes, I'm aware that I'm stating the obvious here)