Shellstrings

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Didn't You Get the Memo?

Downtown Ponyville – Bon Bon's Bountiful Bakes – Thirteen Months After the Royal Canterlot Wedding – Present Day

"Hmm-hmm-hmmm..." Bon Bon hummed to herself, opening a steamy oven. Clasping a mitt in her muzzle, she reached in and pulled out a sheet full of chocolate croissants.

It was a slow morning, but business was bound to pick up into the later afternoon. The charming confectioner took advantage of the time by baking an extra surplus of dessert items. Gentle sunlight glinted off the pristine walls and multi-colored floor tile of her establishment.

"Hmmm-hmmm-hmmmm..." She slid the tray onto a kitchen counter and spat the mit out. "Immerse your soullllllll in lovvvvvvveeee," she sang beneath her breath while trotting about to fetch more ingredients. "Immerse your soul... in lovvvvvvvvvve..."

D-Ding! The bell above the front door jingled happily.

"Just a second!" Bon Bon dusted some baking powder off her apron and trotted over to the sales counter. "Well, good morning to you! Welcome to Bon Bon's Bountiful Bakes! I'm she who would be Bon Bon. Heehee... what can I cook up—..." She blinked. "...for you?"

A massive figure shuffled in on all fours, its huge girth obscured by three pony-sized trench coats tied together.

Bon Bon blinked. With a smirk, she leaned against the counter. "Mooella... how many times do I have to tell you?" She winked. "There's no need to be embarrassed about walking into a horse-run store and asking for pasteurized milk—"

Just then, a single jutting horn slipped out of the front of the trenchcoats, aiming straight towards the ceiling.

Bon Bon blinked. "... ... ...you're not a cow."

"No, I am most certainly not a cow..." The figure disrobed completely, gray hooves and all. "Mmmfff... but with the sugary shit you're peddling these days, looks like I could become as fat as one over night."

Bon Bon's chin fell. "... ... ...Secret Agent Betsy?!"

"Shhhhhhh!" The rhinoceros frowned. She pulled over a chair, sat down—and smashed it to pastel colored bits. She blinked down at the mess, shrugged, and saluted the mare behind the counter. "It isn't 'Betsy' at the moment. At least not now. I'm doing this all undercover-like, ya dig?"

"It... it's..." Bon Bon trotted briskly around the counter with a dumb grin. "It's so amazing to see you! I mean... how've you been?! Did you hear about the Bug Bear?! How's the weather in... in... wherever you've been—"

"Yeah yeah yeah... knock it off with the pussy-hoofing around, already," Betsy grunted. She eyed the mare with a steely squint. "I came here to find out why you haven't responded to the memo."

"Memo?" Bon Bon blinked. "What memo?"

"Cheese and crackers on shit, girl?! Did you lose your sound stone or something?"

"What? N-No!" Bon Bon fidgeted, ultimately producing the enchanted communicator from a pocket of her apron. "I-I've kept it on me at all times!"

"Huh..." The rhino tapped her chin. "...well... if that isn't interesting as all get-out."

"Why... what's the matter?" Bon Bon leaned forward.

"Horizons sent out the call weeks ago," Betsy said. "It's being reformed."

"What is?"

"The Hell else?" Betsy grunted. "The League, ya doughnut-powdered jackass!"

"Oh..." Bon Bon blinked. She slumped down in a red-cushioned chair. "Well... buck..."

---

TO BE CONTINUED IN...
==ACT ONE: NO STRINGS ATTACHED==

---

Comments

[mastermenthe]

Never would i have expected the Austraeoh fans to drive SS&E to satirically ascend Shell!

[Cold in Gardez]

Yeah okay I'll read this.

[MidnightReflection]

Shellstrings...
No strings attached...

Shell still alive confirmed.

[terrycloth]

7338707 So far none of it is necessarily AU... I mean, SMILE is from one of the chapter books. I guess the changeling origin story doesn't exactly match the comics, but that's sort of the rule with fanfic really.

[ponygrad]

Yes! I knew we didn't see the last of Shell!

[TheifofZ]

Oh, skirts is back. What fun we shall have.
That was sarcasm.

[fourths]

I am ready.

[PropMaster]

Hell yes. This is a worthy entry into the one-a-day multivitamin that is the Austraeoh/Appledashery/Other daily fic that I've so come to enjoy. Good luck with this one, it looks like it's going to be an intense ride.

[Skeeter The Lurker]

Awwwww hell, boiiiiiii!

I cannot wait for the fun to begin!

~Skeeter The Lurker

[Swan Song]

H O B O Y .

[FamousLastWords]

For whatever reason, when I saw the word shell, I instantly thought of something like this:
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/s6s2-1432449077-52837-medium

But your idea was so much better.

[Warrior Kitten]

The description of this story is false.

What gives?

[Bramzter]

7339473

I think..

This was only just the begining

[mastermenthe]

Oh hell, doppelganger blood test now now NOW!!!

[Razzy]

C'mon, I want to see Chryssie again!

[Derpmind]

7339473

I've only read a few short stories by SS&E, but it seems this story is using an alternate form of backstory than the usual. Instead of backstory being an element that gets gradually fleshed out during a story, here backstory is apparently laid out completely as its own story. All of the chapters published so far consist of events leading up to the premise in the story's description. That's 12 chapters and 33,754 words of establishment.

I've got a question to those who've read more of SS+E's stories: Are many of the long ones like this? It's very rare for a story to spend such a long time before really kicking things off.

[Sharp Quill]

7340406 Not really. In the Austraeoh series, we don't find out why Rainbow Dash is flying east until the second book, and the less said about Appledashery the better. My gut tells me we won't have to wait that long before the premise is realized, one or two hundred (daily) chapters, tops.

[insertfootinmouth]

Oh look, another trippy Skirts story about Lyra. You've been warned.

derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/5/30/1166187__humanized_suggestive_smiling_simple+background_looking+at+you_lyra+heartstrings_source+needed_pov_speech+bubble_offscreen+character.png

[FanOfMostEverything]

Well, this looks intriguing. Good setup in terms of world and characters. I look forward to seeing where you go from here.

7338734
Aside from Bon Bon apparently never even hearing of Ponyville before the wedding. That's something of a deviation.

[Bubbler]

Look, I don't mind that it's taking so long to get to the story that I came here for. But I don't like not knowing I'm not getting the story I'm here for until a while. You aren't exactly lying to me, but maybe let people know what they basically read was the prologue. Else they start getting pissy.

[QueenMoriarty]

7340770 In Strings' tentative defense, their regular followers got notified of a blog that told us all what the battle plan is.

Of course, this is undermined by the fact that the average reader hasn't been told any of this...

[Hap]

I'm she who would be Bon Bon.