Applejack's Vacation

Applejack is a hardworking mare. But perhaps she is working too hard? Perhaps she needs a vacation to take some time away from the craziness that appears so frequently.

But where would she go?
A spa to get made as pretty as possible?
Perhaps a five star hotel to be waited on every second of the day?

If not those, then what else could there be?

Chapters (4)

Chapter 1 · 4th Feb 2015 · 2,100 words
2,100
Download .txt
Download .html
Chapter 2 · 9th Feb 2015 · 1,492 words
1,492
Download .txt
Download .html
Chapter 3 · 19th Feb 2015 · 2,214 words
2,214
Download .txt
Download .html
Chapter 4 · 9th Oct 2015 · 1,235 words
1,235
Download .txt
Download .html

Comments ( 11 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 11
- Newest First
- Oldest First

VGI

VGI #1 · Feb 4th, 2015 · · · Chapter 1 ·

I am amazed at your Zecora dialogues. You've nailed it 100%! It flows naturally. It rhymes! And it SOUNDS AND FEELS like Zecora! It was soooo easy to imagine her voice and actions as she spoke her dialogues!

NAILED IT!

Thumbs up and tracking this story...

A few points of possible improvements and possible errors:
1. With the mirror now being manoeuvred by both Applejack and Spike, they were able to get the mirror in the path of their friend.
- maneuvered

2. Don’t you dare slack off; I want to beat you fair and square.
- Don’t you dare slack off! I want to beat you fair and square.

3. “Oh dun’ worry, Ah intend to show you who the better farmer is again next year.”

4. She also remembered that Twilight had told her that they were teleported into a comic book world and had to fight another tentacle using enemy.
- Personal suggestion: She also remembered that Twilight had told her that they were teleported into a comic book world and had to fight another tentacle-using enemy.

5. Personal suggestion: You may want to put Zecora's native dialogue like this ->“Lat my gan jou mal ding voordat ek jou klap dat jou ore sing!" ("Let me go you crazy thing before I slap you and let your ears sing!" - Google Translate)

The first time I read, “Lat my gan jou mal ding voordat ek jou klap dat jou ore sing!" I thought you were just making it up. It would be nice to know from the get-go that it isn't a made-up thing.

ImmaGenericWriter

ImmaGenericWriter #2 · Feb 4th, 2015 · · · Chapter 1 ·

5586986
I'm really glad you're enjoying it so far!
I fixed up those errors you pointed out, thanks! ^^

As for Zecora's language, it's Afrikaans, my home language in fact. So no, it's not made up. Though to be honest Zecora would probably talk Xhosa or isiZulu, but I'm not fluid enough in either of those to write her with 'em.

VGI