• Published 2nd Feb 2015
  • 17,678 Views, 1,174 Comments

Clueless in Equestria - David Silver



A middle aged human ends up in Equestria dropped in the middle of nowhere. He wanders into town and quickly discovers pony folk are kind folk. Maybe there's a life to be made here.

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7 - On the Road Again

After a night's rest, Rough Draft and David had a basic plan, which started with asking Greasy to come along.

"Are you sure she'll be alright with this?" asked Rough Draft, rubbing his hooves together nervously.

David shrugged, "If she says no, nothing lost. Just ask, be casual. You haven't always gone alone to these have you?

"Well..." Rough said, looking thoughtful, "I've met up with fans before and stayed with them, uh, once I went with a fellow player. Never with a mare though!"

David nodded, "Just the next step. I'll be with you, so don't sweat it."

"Alright, let's go." Rough got to his hooves and moved for the door. David grabbed the handle before he could and opened it for him. "Thanks." They were on their way back into town. They saw Goldie on the way, but it was little more than a passing wave on the way past her. They entered the tavern to see about half a dozen ponies enjoying breakfast. Their target was behind her bar, cleaning dishes. David gave Rough a soft nudge before finding a seat for himself to watch while pretending not to.

Rough trotted to the bar with increasing uncertainty. He watched her wash the dishes quietly as the moment turned into a minute of just watching her work. She looked up at him, "Hey Rough, I didn't notice you standing there. What brings you by, hungry?"

Rough shook his head quickly, "No, I mean. Are you busy this weekend?"

Greasy peered at him, "Not especially, why?"

"Well... I'm heading to Manehatten," he said, shuffling his hooves in place, "And I wanted to know if you wanted to come along to a game convention going on there."

She stuck out her tongue, "Silly stallion. I don't play those games, besides, if I don't watch this place, who will? I'm pretty well shackled to this town." She reached across the counter even as his face fell. She pressed her hoof to his nose, "Boop. Don't look so sad, Rough. Come on, smile."

He smiled reluctantly, and she nodded, "You're much more handsome when you're smiling. Now you have a good time and travel safely, alright?"

Rough gave a slow nod before he muttered a returned sentiment, turning to walk away. David followed him outside.

"She said no," Rough sighed out dejectedly.

"But she also said yes," said David. "She obviously thinks you're cute. She's just married to her job. If you want her, it'll have to be here. Have you considered starting a game here?"

Rough Draft perked an ear, "Here? I don't think half the ponies in this town would understand..."

David shrugged, "So long as she joins, the rest can take a hike. I think she would, if it meant being closer to you."

Rough seemed to consider this as he started walking through the town, "Maybe. I'll think about it. Let's get some supplies before we go." Rough led the way to a small store that smelled of hay and candy in equal measures. He moved up to the counter where an elderly mare with off yellow fur awaited him, "Good morning. Can I have trail rations, four days worth?"

She nodded and her horn shone as four little bags floated over to the counter, wreathed in yellow light before landing there before him. She pressed the large button on the register, "Three bits." Rough Draft paid and they were soon back on the street again.

"I meant to ask," said David, "Does it ever get confusing when a bunch of unicorns are together with all their magic colors?"

"Magic colors?" asked Rough, "What do you mean by that?"

David rolled a hand, "The color of their magic. Like that one back there was yellow."

Rough Draft shook his head and glanced back inside before shaking it again, "I didn't see any light at all. Is that a human super power?"

"Huh, guess it is," confessed David. "I'm not sure how handy that is in most cases, unless a unicorn was trying to surprise me."

Rough Draft shrugged, "I'll have to add that as a feat humans can take. I bet the other ponies will think I'm being unbalanced."

David chuckled at that, pointing at Rough, "I have the same problem. People loved to complain that unicorns had it best."

Rough Draft waved a hoof, "Well la de da, so I can't throw things around with my mind. Nothing wrong with being a tough strong earth pony anyway."

David reached for the top of his friend and ruffled his ears, "I wouldn't trade you for a unicorn anyway."

Rough seemed mollified at this. Soon they arrived back at Rough's house, but only long enough for him to grab a few supplies to bring to the convention, including his 'lucky' bag of dice. "It's a bit of a hike, but if we start now, we should get to the terminal way before it gets dark. You don't want to be out after dark, the big ugly things come out then."

They walked away from the town then, headed roughly northwards under the rising sun. "What kind of things?" asked David. "I know some of the critters that roam the Everfree Forest, but this is kind of a big unknown area to me."

Rough raised a brow, "I can't even guess as to how you know anything about the Everfree, but that's a bad place. Let's not go there. As for around here, you got giant jackalopes, drooping hyenapods, and the occasional timberwolf."

"Oh, timberwolf, I know about those. Well," said David, "I know about jackalopes too, but those are cute little things. Why would you be scared of those?"

Rough snorted softly as he trotted, "I did say giant. They're the size of a pony, and they think we're there to cause trouble. They'll butt you with those big antlers, and that can really mess a pony up bad, trust me."

David nodded cautiously, "Oh right, if we're headed into the city, think we can grab some clothes?"

Rough laughed at this, "Oh Celestia. I thought I was just making things up when I said humanoids prefer being clothed all the time. You're going to be an expensive guest aren't you?"

David looked sheepish and didn't pry further. Perhaps noticing David's sudden quiet, Rough nudged against his side, "I'm just playing. We'll get you some clothes. You're my guest, I don't mind." Though David said nothing, Rough took the ear petting he was getting that all was forgiven.

They walked in companionable silence until a soft growling emerged from a shrub they were walking past. Somehow assembling out of the small plant came the hulking form of a fully horse sized timberwolf, its green eyes balefully glaring. Rough spun around in place and drove his hooves against the creature, making it back up a few steps with a snarl.

David wanted to help, truly he did, but terror and inaction gripped him. He thought of a thousand things he could do to help his friend, but none translated to movement.

"One's not so bad," said Rough as he circled with it, "They're much more dangerous in packs." The great wooden wolf lunged, catching a hoof to the jaw but pushing past it to sink a sharp wooden stack of a tooth into Rough's leg, drawing a loud yelp from the pony.

Shaken into action, David grabbed the clenching jaw, pulling the top from the bottom in a burst of desperate strength. They came apart surprisingly easily, the lower half of the jaw flying away several feet in the hurried motion. Rough Draft drove the other hoof into the skull of the beast, making it collapse in a pile. "He won't stay like that, we should go." He began to walk away quickly, hobbling a little on the injured leg.

Remembering that Rough was heavy but not that heavy, David grabbed Rough up, belly up, and ran with him. Rough wasn't as heavy as he remembered, and they quickly departed the scene of the assault. Only moments later, however, the weight of the pony in his arms seemed to grow drastically. He crouched to the ground and let Rough half roll free of his grasp.

Rough tilted his head at the panting human. "You were pretty fast back there."

"Not that fast," David argued, "but when I'm really scared, I run. It's what I do. Run like there's nothing to do but run, until the danger's gone."

Rough nodded, "You'd have made a fine pony. But you carried me doing it, that was amazing." With breaths caught, they resumed their hike towards the train, "I wonder..."

"Wonder?" asked David.

"I mean, was that the magic? You know, that Patch did," offered Rough with a wave of a hoof. "Unless you've been ripping off Timberwolf jaws as a habit and've been holding out on me."

David shrugged, "If it was that, and I'm really not sure, it ran out. That's why I put you down." He looked at Rough's hindlegs, "You feeling alright? That looked like it really hurt."

"It did, and still does," replied Rough, "But let's get the hay to civilization before we worry about it."

As they walked along, Rough raised a hoof, "There's one of the jackalopes I was talking about." A comfortable distance away, a small family of enormous rabbits were grazing on a bush, removing its leaves with a ruthless efficiency. "They're harmless unless you get too close to them. So leave them alone."

"I'll resist the urge to pet them," promised David with a smirk, instead putting such urges to work on Rough Draft's mane.

The tracks came into view first, winding east and west in a line of metal that went on out of sight beyond the horizon. Rough took a left and began following them, "Shouldn't be too far now, just past the next hill," he said, sounding much happier about things.

"Sorry about the wolf," said David. "I bet you would have gotten away if I wasn't slowing things down."

Rough Draft gave a pfft, "Says you. Won't be the first time I showed up at the train stop with a bite or three. I wish we had enough guards to clear the way between the town and the tracks."

"How do you even get supplies out here if people, uh ponies, have to go through timberwolf land?" asked David with a roll of the hand and a raised brow, "Hardly seems practical."

Rough snorted then, descending down the hill towards the small station up ahead, "And that's why we don't get many. Most are pegasi though, who fly over the problems, lucky devils. Earth ponies get to fight, and unicorns usually just wait until they can get an earth or a pegasus pony to go with them."

"You mean there's something unicorns are worse at?" asked David.

Rough lashed out a hoof at David jestingly, "They can't fight worth a thing, most of them. A little telekinesis isn't very scary to a timberwolf or enraged Jackalope, and they're usually soft. Besides, they can only cast spells related to their cutie mark, and the fancier ones they have to have a book of magic to do. Just not cut out for timberwolves."

"What about Twilight Sparkle? She can take on timberwolves," argued David.

Rough shook his head as he climbed up onto the wooden platform of the station, "I don't know how you know so much about these things, but she's an alicorn princess. She can do whatever she wants. I can't count her as a normal example of a unicorn."

Author's Note:

A tussle, a shot down proposition, and a little travel. What more could be asked of a chapter?

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