16 - Manehattan BipedCON
Refreshed and ready, the three trotted along to the elevator. David asked of Rough, "So you never said much about this convention, besides it exists and you hope to sell books here. What kind of con is it?"
Rough perked an ear, "Well, it's not a roleplaying one."
Nicky looked confused, "But you said it was a roleplaying game. Why wouldn't you go to a roleplaying convention?"
Rough lifted his shoulders, "It's a funny thing. It's easier to sell to people who like bipeds already."
David raised a brow, "Bipeds? Like dragons?"
"Sure," replied Rough as he entered the elevator, "Some ponies like dragons, or even diamond dogs or minotaurs, but there are also the made up one, myths and stuff." He pointed at David with a hoof, "Like humans."
Nicky burst into laughter, her glasses almost falling free before she pushed them back up along her nose, "You hear that? You're a myth. I never read stories about humans."
Rough shrugged, "It's a niche thing, but it's popular enough. Ponies get really into it. They'll dress up as their favorite bipeds, write stories about them, all kinds of things."
They emerged on the second floor and it was wall to wall ponies. Brightly colored equines cheerfully pushed and jostled around through the crowd as the murmur of their conversations created a constant din. When the three emerged from the elevator, a pony stopped and looked at David, blinking slowly. "By Celestia! That's the best biped-suit I ever saw!"
The mare's exclamation drew other curious eyes to settle on them. Soon David was surrounded by a thick shell of smiling ponies. "It's so realistic! Can I get a picture with you?" Without waiting for permission, a giggling blue mare slid up beside David and flashed a bright smile. Flash! She bounced off gleefully. Rough and Nicky where nowhere to be seen, lost in the flash crowd. A unicorn wearing a well constructed but still clearly fake minotaur upper body was standing there, balancing on her hind legs, offered a hand, fake as it was, "Aw yea," she said eagerly, "Great suit!"
David went with the flow, raising his own hand and returning the gesture. The mare suddenly began wobbling dangerously. The minotaur part of the suit fell off, revealing a sheepishly grinning Lyra Heartstrings. Bon Bon appeared in a moment, gathering up the suit. "Lyra! This thing's too expensive to be dropping, be careful."
Lyra waved at her friend, still balancing on her hinds, "It's cool. Check out this!" She pointed at David with a hoof, then approached him dangerously close without regard for personal space.
"Uh, hi Lyra," murmured David, trying to edge backwards, but he was already at the closed door of the elevator.
Lyra's eyes widened, "How do you know my name!? Ohhhh, you're a magic human! I can't even take this!" She lunged forward, grabbing his right hand between her hooves and feeling them. Her face went from wonderment to confusion, and then to outright rapture. "It's not a suit!" she cried, drawing a fresh wave of interest. Soon ponies were pressing in at David from all angles, asking far too many questions to hear any one of them. In the background, Lyra was talking with a small crowd of her own, "I touched his hand! It's real, and he knew my name without me telling him! He's a human, a real magic human!"
One mare gave David a poke in the belly, "How can you tell it's a he?"
A stallion laughed at her and poked him higher in the chest, "He doesn't have the, you know, udders."
David was frozen solid, unsure how to react to suddenly being the epicenter of so much attention. Aggressive, touchy attention. He tried to edge back again, to find the elevator doors were just as sol-- He fell backwards as the doors swung open, falling onto two mares gracelessly. The ponies started with surprise, but one of them, a unicorn, helpfully wrapped David in her magic and set him upright. "Thanks," he said. The moment was enough to feel the ability to move again and he burst from the elevator, nudging through the crowd. A hoof grabbed him from the side and pulled him. He was standing before Rough Draft who quickly nudged David behind himself.
The crowd advanced on Rough Draft and the human hiding behind him. "Everyone calm down," he called out. "This is David, a human."
"Hi David!" came an almost uniform chorus as many ponies waved at them both.
"He'll be at the Humanway booth, offering signatures," said Rough, "But no roughhousing or crowding. Humans are delicate creatures."
Somehow this was enough for the crowd, most faces bobbing up and down before starting to disperse back to what they were doing. Nicky emerged from the crowd, looking like she was failing to completely hold back her laughter. "You've made some new friends," she said to David. "I hope you like being famous."
David took a slow breath, "Famous is alright. Being ripped apart is where I draw the line. Are they going to do that again?"
Rough Draft gave David a gentle poke in the side. "Now that you're not being pressed into a wall, admit it. Part of you liked that."
David chuckled and shook his head, "I never saw so many ponies so tightly packed. They... looked so happy to see me."
Nicky nodded, "Well you are a walking myth. Imagine if," she rolled a hoof, "A pony appeared in your world at a convention. I imagine they'd get much the same reaction, right?"
David frowned with thought as he began to follow Rough through the crowd, "I'd expect more demands for a ride, rude pulls, and perhaps a few sexual invitations."
Nicky snorted, "You're joking. Oh who am I kidding? Of course you're not joking. Well," she glanced around the crowded convention floor, "The weekend is young. You'll get your chance yet."
"Chance?" asked David before his brain ticked with realization, "I'm not looking for a mare."
Nicky rolled her shoulders with a giggle, "You probably wouldn't say no if they came to you. You're forgetting I already know all about that."
David considered pulling out the tried and true line of humans and animals and it felt hollow in his mind before it even reached his lips and died in his throat. He was the animal, the myth, in this place. If some mare wants to bed him, she's the one that should feel bad. Oh god. "This is getting a bit strange to think about."
They arrived at a stand that had a brightly colored banner reading 'Humanway'. There were already books set up, little humanoid figures, some human plushies, and even... muffins. "They're the same." David pointed at the muffin plushes.
Rough Draft looked at the plushes as he assumed his position, "Same as what?"
David picked one up, turning it around as he laughed, "The exact muffins I sold back home, exactly the same!"
Rough twitched his ears, "Really? A nice mare makes them for me for not much and they're always popular."
David set the little plush back where it came from and joined Rough on the right side of the booth, "When'd you have time to set up this booth?"
Rough looked baffled at the question, "Huh?"
David waved at the booth, "This booth. We were with Nicky." He hiked a thumb at Nicky who nodded. "And now here we are, with a booth already set up."
Rough waved the question away as a familiar mint colored mare trotted up to the stand. She wasn't wearing her minotaur outfit and was on all fours. She locked eyes with David silently and stood there. Not long after she arrived, Bon Bon emerged from the crowd. "Lyra, you can't just stand there! They're trying to do business."
Lyra snapped out of her daze, "Huh? Oh! I'll take these." She flailed out a hoof, landing on a human plushie and shoving it towards Rough Draft, though her eyes remain locked on David. "Why are you so dark?"
Bon Bon's eyes went wide, "You can't just ask him why he's dark!"
David let out a rough little laugh, "I was born that way." He took the plushie after Bon Bon had paid for it and offered it to Lyra, "I didn't get much of a vote on the matter."
Lyra took the plushie in her mouth, looking up at David before she turned and gave the plushie to Bon Bon, who had a saddlebag to tuck it away in. "Are you the only one?"
"Here, on Equestria?" asked David, "So far as I know."
Lyra slowly nodded before she reared up, standing much closer to David's height, "Aren't you lonely?"
Nicky spoke up, "He has friends. Like his best friend, Rough Draft." She slapped Rough on the back with a hoof.
Lyra glanced to Rough, "Lucky..." Her eyes returned to David, "But what about, you know, a marefriend. Uh, I mean, you know, a female human friend?"
"Girlfriend," supplied David, finding Lyra's star struck awkwardness to be increasingly adorable.
"Yea, that!" agreed Lyra, her tail wagging quickly. "How are you going to find a girlfriend if you're alone here? Are you going to go back?"
David shrugged softly, "I was alone before I came here, but now there are ponies."
Lyra tilted her head at him, "But there are ponies everywhere, what's so special?"
David pointed at the ground, "Here, sure. Equestria is the land of ponies. It's in the name. Where I came from, a lot less ponies, with duller colors, and not very smart either."
Lyra tapped her chin a little, then clopped her forehooves together, "Like monkies!"
"That... is actually a very astute comparison," agreed David. "So what can I get for you, Lyra, Bon Bon?"
Bon Bon startled at her name, peering at him suspiciously. Lyra just grinned larger, "Are you going to run a game of Humanway? I want to be there!"
Bon Bon moved up beside Lyra, whispering almost comedically loudly, easily heard even over the convention, "He knows my pet name! How does he know my pet name!"
Lyra fell back to all fours and laughed gently, nudging Bon Bon, "He's a magical human! Just like my character."
David nodded, "So you do play?"
"Of course!" exclaimed Lyra with a wide grin. "I play a female human sorcerer that is a master of fire!" She began to wave her hooves excitedly, "Fwoosh, boom! Nopony can stand before her fury!" She suddenly stuffed her face into Bon Bon's saddlebag and soon returned with a little miniature of a human wearing mint green robes. She set the miniature down, "See, there she is. Isn't she awesome?"
David carefully picked up the figure, looking her over. Her legs were a little long, but so were her arms. Still, for never having seen a human, the ponies did a pretty good job guessing. Besides the faint inaccuracies in limb ratios, she looked perfectly human. He looked down at the smiling Lyra. Of course, the ponies also looked pretty accurate to human imagination. The multiverse was a pretty funny place... "She looks ready to kick butt."
Lyra perked an ear, "Ye... what's a butt?"
"Flank, for humans," explained David as he set the figure back down.
Lyra reclaimed her figure and set it back in Bon Bon's bag, "Oh! I never heard that before. I like it."
Bon Bon pushed ahead, nudging Lyra out of the way, "Enough. 'Magical Human', how do you know our names, my name especially?"
David looked at Bon Bon's scowl. Even angry, she seemed cute. "How could I not learn the name of Lyra's enchanting marefriend?"
Bon Bon went deep red from her neck up across her face and she staggered back, suddenly speechless. Lyra clapped her forehooves together rapidly, "No wonder humans get a +2 to friendship checks!"
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Even after Author admitted it's a self-insert, I can't stop loving this story. It's not *hurk* bad, it's even *wheeze* *gasp* *choke* good! Oh my god, even my body is trying to stop me liking this story. Screw you, body, I'm in charge here! Let's see how you will like a bottle of vodka!
5630107 Tis true, a dirty self insert it is! It's all the more reason to avoid crazy super powers or what not. I'd feel too awful. I'm also borrowing a lot of 'cartoon logic' along the way that I hope makes sense when used, like pony perception, or the booth being set up despite it being very impossible for Rough Draft to have set it up himself.
I'm quite glad you're enjoying the tale! This was a fun chapter. Heck, I had to end it early or I'd have kept going all day in one mega chapter instead of sticking to my 2k/day.
5630115 I think I'm one of those weird guys who can appreciate 20k+ words chapters. "Just sayin'", that's how it's said I believe.
5630134 It's not that there's anything inherently bad with a longer chapter, but my strength comes from sticking to my schedule. 2k a day, not 4k one day and then two days off.
Make sense?
5630138 Yeah, lots actually. I've run authors who wrote 3 to 5 KB a day. It's not much, but it adds up. I, on the other hand, CBA to write more for years.
5630754 Hey there, good to see you again. Glad you're enjoying the ride.
I think "rump" or "dock" would be closer to the same definition; the flanks are on the sides and a little forward of the hips.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Points_of_a_horse.jpg
@albedoequals1:
Technically, you're right. But the show has established rumps to be flanks.
Cheers!
you did that part of the story prety well, most of it is funny, or they are acting in a way, that i can more than accept.
5773396 Thanks muchly, it was a fun chapter!
Ah ha ha ha, those red flags rose so fast at the start, we just knew he would get swarmed! Fun times....
Though you admitted this was a self-insert, I have long since acknowledged the protagonist as a separate entity and consider the story as another brony in Equestria
6721104 Is this good, bad?
6721640 I would largely consider that good, as self-inserts are frowned upon quite heavily, as you no doubt know.
6769277 Sure, but there are a lot of people who frown on Brony in Equestria too, for their own reasons. I defy them all!
Some ponies like (because you'd say "some people" not "somebodies")
Hah! Bipedcon. Though, "quadrupedcon" sounds...worse?
His animal-human notion of romance doesn't quite hold up when there are multiple sapient species in Equestria. The taboo isn't going to have the same basis.
Not really necessary here, though you could change it to 'from' if you don't want to keep it plainly 'David asked Rough'
Oh, and hi! Finally took this up from Read later list, and I'm actually a bit conflicted about it. Feels a bit rushed sometimes, and sometimes a bit bland, but I've enjoyed this so far. Also, it's not easy to find errors, especially if you wrote the whole thing, so I'm picking up the ones I THINK I know the correct answer
6901389 Many eyes have picked over this, looking for errors. Welcome, and this is just the start!
6721104 Every now & then I keep catching myself seeing them playing out their roles as all humans, forehoofing myself and screaming "Think brain think!
murmured
Image link broken.
Should be in, but spoken grammar doesn't need to be perfect.
7124670 Typo fixed. Imgur no longer allows images from fimfic, so, image removed.
By them, do you mean his fingers? Because she only grabbed one hand and it said nothing about fingers.
7344550 Grabbing a hand gets you fingers at no additional cost. It's a great deal!
5679831
I doubt the show ever specifically refered to the rump as a flank. More likely they ponified some butt-based expression with flank and the everyone just assumed it was a straight-up translation.
7468784 Rarity: It will ride high on her flank, but she won't look like a tank. I'm stitching Rainbow's dress!
Curse you, Author! Now I have a craving for muffins and am compelled to actually bake cherry and banana ones!
Well, at least I will have something tasty to munch on this evening, but still! That's going to be a bit of work for my lazy bones!
7596020 Look at you, burning a path through my story. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.
7596124
Well, it seems like it. I kind of started reading it a year ago but stopped, but now started again.
As a side note, the cherry muffins had too less sugar in it, making them rather bland, but the banana ones were good, even though my father stole one of my precious bananas because he suddenly wanted to make muffins too, to use some food items! But at least I still got my banana muffins together!
As another side note, I'm also trying to figure out how to order specific things for fics I'm working on. It is hereby really interesting to see Nicole from being a kidnapper to becoming a part of their gang!
*cracks up* Can't...stop...laughing...!
Can't...breathe... Friendship checks! Hah!
Okay, anypony that finds themselves here: stop whatever else you are reading; this story is worth a look.
oh, until now i didn't even notice the "Lyra" and "changelings" tags...wait..."Trixie"?! uh oh...
Lyra is a unicorn. Either I'm missing something here or this story has been sitting around for a couple of years without anyone catching that.
...this was written before it was revealed in-show that she's a secret agent, right?
8089823 This was before then. This series calls a LOT of show details before they happen.
Oh god, now I want to make a social version of D&D that includes ‘Friendship Checks’, with stats such as ‘Generosity’, ‘Kindness’, etc.
When I saw the title I realized Rough never mentioned what type of 'con it was I knew
8217552
YES! A pacifist (pony, but not necessarily) D&D where we go around befriending others and utilizing the magic of friendship.
... so it turns out ponies in this universe really are a lot more credulous and not all that perceptive, after all.
I have never seen a story tackle this subject so quickly and easily before. That was actually genius.