Hey folks. JusSonic here, finally sending fics here. While I was worried about coming here for some time now, I decided to give this place a shot...as long as you be fair, 'kay?
When the Mane Six and Spike are summoned to meet the Princesses, the last thing they expected to hear was that they have been taking care of a foe long believed to be dead. Surprisingly, he's back for redemption, something the Mane Six (except for Fluttershy) refuse. Nevertheless, he's sent to live with our favorite new princess and prove to the ponies that he is a changed dragon. But what happens someone very important to him and Spike's past returns?
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5570636 Oh, go away.
5572368 Hey, it's just their opinion.
5573450 Touché.
A couple of oopsy-doodles, but that's all the con-crit I leave you with.
Really good so far. II'm On the edge of my seat.
sorry for what i have to say but it has to come out.
This chapter definitely show Twilight being a Tyrant B****. I've seen some stories with the princesses or King Sombra being a tyrant but the Twilight in this story took the cake and i hope the other princesses take away Twilight's title, power and turned back into a unicorn or earth pony because from this story so far she doesn't deserve that power anymore. Also i hope her friends and family left twilight and went to Lorcan to be on his side and everypony in ponyville made an angry mob at Twilight for what she did.
That's what i thought about this so far and i hope Twilight see the error of her ways if not, I've already have a spot in Hell ready and waiting for her. (Why Hell because Tartarus is to nice for her to be in.)
this is what i thought in rating on certain things:
Rating of Twilight as a Raging Tyrant B**** (5 out of 5)
Rating of Ponyville disagreeing Twilight decision (3 out of 5)
Rating of Twilight loosing everything she gained from this (10 out of 10)
5621429
Well, your hopes are dashed because they aren't happening. But of course Twilight will come to her senses.
5622639
I'll hope so.
Twilight's improved a little but not enough and great story so far.
The unproportional rage at being called small reminds me of a certain auto-mail wearing alchemist.
Damn! Twilight is so pissed. Greatest chapter I've ever read with that much suspense.
This story is starting to get too good.
I'm literally on the edge of my seat.
Oh no s*#% just got real!
Can't wait for the next chapter.
This was a great story. Just one question, why have lorcan change back. I know it was right and it still was a successful ending, but I just wanna know why you decided to have lorcan change back.
Lorcan was walking down the stairs. As he kept on going, he waved to some ponies who waved him back to him. In front of him was a brown hooded pony who was approaching Lorcan. As the crowds became crowded, the brown hooded pony approached Lorcan. The former activated his right hoof Hidden Blade before he stabbed right on Lorcan's heart.
Lorcan yelped in alarm, "What?! What the-?!"
The brown hooded pony smirked as he slowly move Lorcan to a nearest seat. He put him down on the chair. Lorcan looked at the Hidden Blade. He gasped in shock while feeling his body getting weak and begins burning, along with his vision blurry and having more headaches. The Dragon looks up and recognizes the cloak that the attacker is wearing.
"Wind Assassin?" Lorcan ask in shock and disbelief. The Wind Assassins were supposed to be on Equestria's side! "How? Why?"
"The name's Shay Patrick Cormac. Not that you'll remember me. I'm just doing my job." Shay said to Lorcan darkly.
"Assassinate me? Why would she do it? Why would Celly and Luna do it?"
"Oh... I guess you didn't know the story. I'm not with the disillusioned Assassins. I work for Grimmore's Knights to save this world from falling."
"You're mad... What Grimmore promise, he lied..." Lorcan hisses furiously to Shay. Another one of Grimmore's tricks. He wants to make Lorcan paid even though the battle's over!
"I don't care. As long as I complete the mission and save the world, that matters. I can't let the world fall into chaos and ruins again. The world needs to be controlled, not being loosen canon." Shay said, dismissing Lorcan's claim. Apparently to the Dragon, he is a nut!
Lorcan moaned painfully, "When the world knows about it, we're gonna stop you..."
"I doubt it. I not only stab you to death, but with the Dark Plague Poison and Amnesia as well. Your body will become weak. Then, you'll die. If you survive it, you remember nothing of whom you met."
Lorcan gasped, "No...."
Shay smirks underneath his hood as he adds to the horrified Lorcan, "The revolution will start soon. The Wind Assassins can't do anything to help you and your friends. Equestrian Eliminator is keeping an eye on them."
Shay turned and headed off. Lorcan got up while shivering in pain and breathed heavily. When he touched Spike's shoulder, the latter turned to smile at the former. Lorcan looks up and smiled as he stops shivering.
He can't his brother know as to what had happened yet. Lorcan can beat this...somehow...
.....why..was his approved...without my consent...
Tadaka should have escaped. Not die. Nor should he have been subject to slapstick.
Also...
"Oh you want a joke? Knock knock." Twilight remarked to Tadaka with a smirk.
"Who's there?" Tadaka asked Twilight with a frown.
"YOU'RE DEAD!" Twilgiht snapped, flying at Tadaka and hit him on the chin.
..what the hell...