Color me interested. I always like it when authors try to write Discord as a cerebral presence, or something that can still be dangerous with just his silver tongue and a few mind tricks.

Greatly looking forward to this.

lord discord will have revenge...

Oh god I laughed at Fluttershy. I am loving this story more and more with each chapter!

This is really quickly becoming one of my favorite stories. And you write remarkably quickly and with such great quality! I can't wait to see more of this story.

Sneaky luna. Also the mare please face.

Another decently long, wonderfully written, and quite funny chapter written in such a short time! What black magic is possessing you and where can I get some of that?

And the "mare, please" bit made me snort. It's a good thing that you get these out so fast, because I'm always left dying for more!

This is the face I was talking about, the 'mare, please' face:

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/cbe27b322f71dbf20ffc98c3b4524c87/71422%20-%20celestia%20episode_29%20Hubble%20screencap.png

Discord is just delightfully devious in this.  I like it.  Tracking.

“Oh, very clever, Twilight.  Eat any good books lately?"

Oh, references~

Another good chapter. A few more typos here and there in this one, though. Nothing large enough to detract from the rest of the chapter, but enough that it started being a little noticeable. You may want to try to give the chapters an extra once-over before you publish it. Still, I can't wait to see how everything plays out. And I'm especially anxious about seeing what Discord's got brewing.

I love this story.

>>571503571503

As a fan of Star Trek it was bound to happen.  There's a few other lines like that earlier in the story.  As for the typos, yeah.  This one was a bit rushed and I hit publish before I even had the last part up.  So it got a lot less proofing than normal.  As for Discord's plans.... well I don't want to spoil it.

Luna, you sly dog...

Lyra isn't blue; she's green!  Did an animator mess up again?

>>573575573575

Minty-blue.  That's like green-ish... Plus it was dark in the inn, maybe.  I'd like to think it was fire lit, after all she was enjoying a book to soft harp music.  So it was probably hard for Storm Dancer to tell.

Or maybe that's just a cop out.  

Image: http://imgur.com/Rdlbl.jpg

FFFGGG SO MANY QUESTIONS! I can't remember the last time a story hooked me quite like this.

Dang.  I don't know what hit harder, Discord's game or Luna's babbling

Love it!

A slightly dark beginning to Equestria, perhaps? Hopefully we'll get to see more of the alicorn sisters' past as the story progresses.

>>579515579515

Eeyup, for sure.  That's why the last line of the story description is what it is.

is it me or Luna knows some way to not let Twi "fade"

I wonder if Twi finds out about Luna duality?

it would be interesting if Twi instead of the expected "[scream] you're a monster be gone," which would be predictable

instead actually has accepted her

which would be more interesting in my opinion

but this is your story so do with it what you think is right and what is best for character

btw what do you say that your story is in my personal ranking before "eternal"

Celestia kind of went off the deep end for a bIt, huh?

The bit with Storm Dancer crying wolf made me grin. I'm really loving his character, he's so weasely.

>>579750579750

Why does everyone (including Luna herself) seem to think that Luna is a monster just because there's more than one side to her?

Wow.  We found out last chapter that Luna had some kind of duality, but I didn't think it was this bad.  It's like Bruce Banner talking to the Hulk in the mirror.

And Storm Dancer is a bit of a psycho. Yikes.

>>581045581045

Interesting analogy, because half this story is Discord talking to Twilight in a mirror.

>>581037581037

I think the reason is not that she has more than one side to her

but who that other side is

but I hope that Twi will accept Luna instead of thinking that she is a monster

(Twi originally wanted to save both Lana and NM in the dream, this is a good sign)

I do not know why but I imagined Twi defending Luna against somepony who thinks she is a monster

and whether it was intentional that I hate Storm Dancer?

btw I want more

where the next chapter?

>>581513581513

Honestly, the mirror bit is a classic form of exploring duality.  If you look hard enough, you might even find a shred of it in "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," the ORIGINAL duality story.  One could even say that you are mirroring the Luna/Nightmare thing with the more obvious Twilight/Discord conversations.  For all we know, Discord could be latching onto anything he can dig out of Twilight's mind, from her insecurities to any monsters she has in her id.

In fact, I wouldn't put it past him...

so I was thinking

in chapter "Canterlot Morning" Luna said that she needs to check something before she goes with Twi to talk with Celestia

I was thinking that maybe she then decided to speak with her other half?

>>583916583916

Not to shatter any theories on the story but to be completely honest, Luna needing to "check something" was a (poor) writing excuse to separate her from Twilight so Shining Armor would not see the both of them together.  Not that I might not plan something for that to turn out to be something later.  However, knowing how Luna is written in this, her talking to NMM is unlikely.  Luna wouldn't risk Nightmare Moon being seen anywhere near the castle, not with Storm Dancer around.  Even Celestia might not appreciate NMM showing her head, for at the very least, political reasons.  And well, Twilight was still close by...  Luna ran deep in Everfree Forest to have her talk first.  Which might explain why she was a bit stir crazy (As Storm Dancer said) at the start, she had been confined to the castle and was unable to converse with her "friend".

>>586062586062

a few counterarguments

Luna went to the room where she was alone and closed the door so there is no concern that someone would see her

she could put something like a soundproof spell so Twi did not hear her (this also explains why Luna did not react immediately when Shining took Twi (barrier block sounds in both directions))

Twi library is small and has no place in it where Luna could to hide away

but that's just my theory, I wonder what you come up with

I think that Luna could easily talk to NM in her room (the one that only Alicorn can open)

I say this from experience of someone who all the time sits alone with himself in his room

I have a question Celestia know about Luna duality?

Image: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/105/1/9/inner_conflict_by_whitestar1802-d4w92zs.png

Source

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe this is the first chapter that doesn't have Discord in it.  Rest assured, Discord and his plot to turn Twilight Sparkle into a bowl of pumpkin flavored popcorn will be back in force soon enough.    Drat did I spoil the ending?

>>589284589284

Totally called that ending.

But I wonder how much farther the shipping will extend. We got Twiluna, some AppleDash in the background, some hints of Dislestia...

I can not wait to see what face Luna will do when she returns to Twi with an apology

and Twi tells her that she actually liked it

and why does everybody have to resort in such situations?

I love this story.

Need more!

>>589565589565

I agree with him completely

more

>>589524589524

Because it's both easy to write and capable of opening up vast possibilities for the standard emotional scene.

Nice.  I chuckled at that romantic bit (good sign) and the Luna/Nightmare conversation was better than the last.

>>589520589520

Don't forget those three paragraphs with Lyra/BonBon as an old married couple!  That was the whole reason for the Romance Tag on the story!   But yea, this chapter was primarily to work at removing the romantic plot tumor and to give Storm Dancer time to spy.  We'll get back to your regularly scheduled Discord mind games soon enough.

Surprised no one has commented on that throw away line in Canterlot Mornings about Luna brushing Twilight's mane....  Or the ramifications of Luna and NMM's conversation at the end of this chapter.

>>589284589284

Discord does not appear in Chapter 5, but was mentioned

So this is the first chapter entirely free from Diskord

I'm wondering if Celestia has possible romantic feelings for Twilight?

I like where this is going so far. Your use of Discord is quite interesting here, as well as the idea that's brought up regarding the two different "sides" to both of the Alicorns (and it seems like I'm quite susceptible to TwiLuna stories...). You're getting these out pretty damn fast too, which is impressive.

Also, I've been noticing  fewer errors in the later chapters compared to their frequency in the earlier ones, but they are still there. I'd suggest maybe getting someone to have a look over the chapters, if you don't already. It could just be me being extra-picky, but I get a little thrown off every now and then.

That said, I'm still very much enjoying the story so far, and I look forward to more updates.

>>596434596434

Thanks, I like my use of Discord here too. As for the errors, I don't actually have anyone to proof-read.  The reason it's worse in later chapters is that the first chapters were written before this story was posted.  So they had a lot longer for me to constantly reread and fix them.  Later chapters were written a day or so from post date.  It's really my fault for publishing them so quickly, but eveyone keeps saying they like how fast they are released so I'm a sucker for peer presser .

>>597422597422

I'd offer do so, but I see your point about the update times; I don't want to get in the way of anything, I just like to help out a bit. Maybe retroactively editing instead would be more suitable. Y'know, unless you were going to do that anyway.

Either way, I'll just stick this in my favourites and wait patiently for the surprise pumpkin-flavoured twist ending.

Oh god.  It was such a bad idea to make this story a romance.

Image: http://chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-discord-writing-a-fan-fic.gif

I'm so done with romance now.  Like for the rest of the story.  This was such a stupid part to write.  I should have just had Discord turn Ponyville into a giant teddy bear and moved on.

Seriously, get out your microwaves, because its time for Discord to get back on track with his pumpkin-flavored popcorn plot.

The romance DID seem a bit awkward at the last few moments.  Don't get me wrong, the preceding lead-up was good, and I like the character development.  It would have made a very nice platonic relationship, close, but platonic.  With a bit more work, it COULD have been swung into a romantic sense.

But, what's done is done.

Loved the bit with Rainbow, and Wind Strider is reaching new levels of crazy.

Now, let's see what Shining has to say about all this...

>>599687599687

Well, "awkward" was exactly what I was going for seeing as they both are completely clueless in this area.  But you're completely right it was rushed mostly because I just wanted this part done and didn't know what else to do to make it better.  Oh, and I assume you mean Storm Dancer.  But Wind Strider would have been SUCH a cooler name for him.  (Begin retroactive edits....)

>>599613599613

but the romance between Twi and Luna are the most interesting part of this story

I wonder if they will explain everything to Shining?

I hope that Storm Dancer will not do something stupid like to deprive Twi magic

PLEASE DON'T TAKE THE ROMANCE OUTTA THE STORY!!!

Hey Storm Dancer. "Eat shit and die slow!"

NMM is best pony.

>>600087600087

I agree with him completely

Kendandra please don't discard the romance

btw if Twi is now with Luna

and Luna is also Nightmare Moon

does this mean that Twi is in threesome?

I'm not usually a big fan of romance, but I think that you're doing a good job of it and it's keeping me interested. As it stands now, everything is really... natural. I feel like the characters are all reacting realistically and believably to each development. It's not a whirlwind of drama so far, which is so rare in stories with a romance label. Maybe you wouldn't have to focus as much on it, but if Twilight's and Luna's relationship is going to be one of the central plot points of the story, you gotta give them a little time together.

But on another note, man is Storm Dancer a jerk. I love 'em!

I thought you did a fine job with the romance. I can understand how it must feel a little awkward writing it, but you did just dandy. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and hopefully a continuing romance. Keep up the great work!

>>599705599705

Oops.  Thinking of something else.  Yeah, Storm Dancer.  Crazy.  Sorry...

>>600315600315

Wow.  I get it.  People have spoken.  So it shall be.  The romance isn't going away.  I will warn you guys though, the major focus of the story is going to start to shift "away" from romance though, that's just where the plot is headed.  

"btw if Twi is now with Luna and Luna is also Nightmare Moon does this mean that Twi is in threesome?"

--Yes.

>>600315600315

Thirded. Awkward you may have found it, but I think it works. Works well, even.

Also, it's tagged as "Romance"; there's nothing you can do about it! *Evil Discord laugh*

Anyway, I'm fairly sure Shining's gonna end up being reasonable about this, but I'm less positive about Celestia's reaction - especially given what she's like right now. If she wasn't as annoyed right now, my mental picture of that scene would be quite adorable...

(Someone tell me I'm not the only one reminded of "Friends" by the end of this.)

>>601517601517

"(Someone tell me I'm not the only one reminded of "Friends" by the end of this.)"

--Totally had a youtube clip of that scene open when I wrote that line.  Glad to see my references are very unsubtle.  

[youtube=http://youtu.be/26_6ZuorZeM]

Does it work?

if not here is link

although I have a feeling that this is just more to fit on Celestia reaction when she learns the truth

I should really get a cover image for this story, huh?  Anyone got any ideas for one?

>>604825604825

Might be able to do something for this. What are you looking for?

Amazing. I think you're doing great writing this Kendandra.

“Acting Captain Wind Strider, I have a command for you.”

I see what you did there.

Also, I just wanted to point out that you occasionally have the habit of using "board" when you mean "bored". Likewise with "quiet" and "quite", respectively.

I'd be interested in helping out with a cover image, if you'd like. Have you got any ideas about what you would want it to contain in particular?

>>607801607801

1) It's a great name for a Canterlot Pony.  

2) Yeah, spell check doesn't catch everything and I cant spell to save my life.  

3) True had an idea:  Have Discord floating above Celestia, Luna, and Twilight with puppet strings.

>>607875607875

Interesting idea...I have some free time tomorrow; I'll have a go at something then.

Discord got PWNED!!

Also, I CLAIM THE FIRST POST!!

Damn, I always love reading another chapter of this! It's just soooo good!

OK, first of all:  A HUGE thank you to Sai for making a freakin' amazing cover image for this thing.  It brings tears to my eyes.    Seriously, tears. To mine eyes.  .

Second of all:  Did you know that the phrase, "Discord snapped his fingers" appears 26 times in this whole story so far?  That's not even counting other permutations of snapping.  Poor guy's claw has got to be sore.    Quick!  Somepony do some math and figure out as a percentage how much of this story is just Discord snapping!

Wow, I've got to say, your Discord dream sequences are always just so perfectly surreal and imaginative! They're always my favorite parts of these chapters. Keep up the great work.

But seriously, how are you doing these so fast? What dark contract have you signed and how can I join in on this?

>>623918623918

My job is writing automated test scripts for ATM software.      Do you have any idea how long it takes to run a bulk cash transaction to all possible completion paths?  Answer:  A long fricken' time.  Let's just say I have time to think.

>>623639623639

1)

2) By relevant word count, roughly 0.256904%.

Celestia's probably going to screw with everything now...

Bad girl. No touching of the ancient, super-powered, madness-inducing artifacts, mkay?  

>>625021625021

Sai congratulations, great cover

and congratulations for 69 comment

now chapter

This chapter answered a certain question and in way  I was thinking

question was

does the fact that Twi now know that this is a dream make some changes to how the dream sequence will now be done?

answer

dreams physics has made that she forgot about the fact that she is in a dream

every time I see these fragments with Celstia saying something like this

Did I not pay enough attention to her?  Did I not give her everything I could give her?

I have the impression that she may, however, would accept her sister's relationship

What I would wanted to see

another dream where Discord teaches Twi about Nightmare Moon (I have the impression that one lesson was not enough)

or better Luna tell Twi about Nightmare Moon

ps comment number 70

>>627167627167

I'm glad the dream physics thing was communicated well.  Pay attention to earlier chapters where Discord outright states to Twilight that she's in a dream and she pretty much ignores it every time.

Discord has told Twilight about Nightmare Moon, in the Chapter aptly called, Nightmare Moon.  He hasn't explained to her (or us) the actual mechanics of the transformation but he's made it clear that Nightmare Moon is still alive, well, and unsealed.  Now with dream physics being what they are, the real question is, does Twilight really "know"?

>>627446627446

thanks for the a reason to re-reading the previous chapters

yes I remember that chapter (one of my favorite Discord lessons)

but I think that Twi don't quite caught on this lesson the first time

I started to wonder

in one of the chapters Luna asked Twi if the dreams are getting better or worse

Twi wondered for a moment to on answer

Twilight stopped to consider for a moment.  On one hoof they had started containing Luna, so that was a good thing, but on the other hoof they were getting more and more traumatic,

therefore she remembers something from those dreams

the only question is if she remembers anything more than the fact that

Discord was there

Luna was there

something traumatic had happened

btw in most of stories Luna besides rules over the night and the moon also rules over dreams

I wonder if in this story too?

Oh. My.God. This chapter was hilarious, in a fantastic way. I could not stop snickering at the interactions between the characters. Whether it was Rarity going along to make sure the date was perfect, or Shining Armor's insistence that he chaperones. Pure gold.

All this build up to the eventual confrontation with Celestia is also nice. That is going to be very very interesting.

My speculations, Celestia will be bringing eternal night in some way due to her paranoia that Luna wants to bring eternal night.

Keep up the great work, I look forward to your next chapter!

>>634229634229

I agree, that was a pretty hilarious chapter.

Oh lawdy, I'm rolling! This chapter was funnier than entire stories that label themselves as comedies!

I like the whole story, but this was indeed the funniest part!

I see that my question about how much Twi remember from dreams have been answered

and Luna trying again to tell Twi about Nightmare Moon

I hope that she will try again and this time she finally succeeds

if not, I will build a machine to inter-dimensional travel, and I will myself do it

btw I have a feeling that this story is made more or less like this

Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Hx9QzayFvAA/SZs80v107DI/AAAAAAAACAY/gfP8yS0B2so/s400/revfreytag.jpg

>>636857636857

Ah, the Dramatic Triangle.  Haven't seen that in a while.  I wouldn't say the story is exactly built like that.  Mostly because it has 2 (maybe three) high points.  I'd say climaxes, but that has... other meanings....   It's more designed in an "act" fashion, each with their own partial triangle.

(...I'm not using "acts" in the theatrical sense of a five act play here.  Mostly because I'm pretty sure this would only have four acts.  Do they have four act plays?  I know there's 3 and 5....)

Anyway, this is act one.  Which is coming to its climax in about two chapters.  The next act will end on a downer (act 2 always does) and it will also be much shorter.  Then there's act 3...

(... Maybe parts is more what I'm thinking...)

(...Actually maybe I don't know what the hell I'm talking about...)

(...You know what?  Just keep on reading and tell me when it starts to fall in the toilet...)

HILARITY!!

this suspension is killing me

if Twi and Luna finally will have time only for themselves?

if Luna will tell finally Twi about Nightmare Moon?

what will do Storm Dancer?

if Celestia will accept her sister relationship with Twi?

Answers to these and other questions

in the next episode of

Static World

when the next chapter?

I can't wait

edit:

4 days 10 hours (at this point)

without a new chapter

I am starving here

>>653750653750

Okay, we have a procedure for this.  Stay calm, lie on your back and breath deeply.  Better?

As for the chapter, I'm working on it now.  I have about one more scene and proofreading still.  So, in about two hours or so, calm down.  The problem is, this current chapter is like, really hard to write.  Mostly because I want to be satisfied with it, but I'm too excited about the NEXT chapter to think straight.  The NEXT chapter (after this one) is one I've wanted to write for like since the start of this...

>>653938653938

I actually had hope that this delay means that the next chapter will be good

and from what I understand is you have used more time to make sure that this chapter will be perfect right?

and can't wait for Chapter 16 too

I can't wait until Luna tell Twi about Nightmare Moon

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/baeb6383d4c218316d7782796c98c611/66538%20-%20bed%20Nightmare_Moon%20spooning%20twilight_sparkle.jpg

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/6f3df75e68d58052929d3cc8f0559eea/47661%20-%20artist%3Amadmax%20Nightmare_Moon%20not_nyx%20no_armor%20twilight_sparkle.png

Warning:  This chapter contains a pony kissing another pony's wing.  If this disturbs you do not read this chapter.

Though it occurs to me that this comment appears after the chapter, so in that case... well good luck.

But seriously, THIS CHAPTER owned me...  Like, I don't know why it took so long to get this out.  Except for the fact that I am REALLY excited for the next chapter and that distracted me.  I really wanted to just reduce the chapter to something quicker to write so I could get to the next part of the story, here's what the shorter version would have been:

"Luna and Twilight did stuff.  Ponies were annoying.  Rainbow Dash has no sense of shame.  Celestia broods.  Castle in forest."

What do you think?  Would have made for a better chapter, huh?

I really hate that guy. I mean, just how suspicious can one pony be? For that matter, how stupid and unthinking can one pony be?

>>654849654849

Wait, which guy?  Shining Armor?

Man, as much as I love to hate that guy, I'm actually now starting to hope that he isn't able to do any harm to our couple. Now that's a well written story!

okay I have not seen this ending coming

here I have a little riddle

Is this who I  think it is?

or maybe a completely new character?

>>644007644007

Surprisingly but this chapter really answered to some of these questions

if Twi and Luna finally will have time only for themselves?

not too much but they have a little time for themselves

if Luna will tell finally Twi about Nightmare Moon?

Surprisingly Twi this time asked about her and agreed that Luna will tell her tonight (little chance after what happened at the end of this chapter)

what will do Storm Dancer?

if it's really him and not some for example new character, something terribly stupid

Luna and Twilight have fluff, Rainbow has NO tact, and Storm Dancer (and I'm sure it's him) continues to be psychotic.  He's threatening Twilight, isn't he?  

And then Shining arrives and bucks Dancer to kingdom come (hopefully).

Great.  Storm Dancer might as well be the Joker at this point.

We need back-up, and we need it NOW!

Brilliant. Storm Dancer, you... grr. Poor Twi

Why do i get the feelign that the Luna that is now standing isn't so much Luna as it's Nightmare Moon? Hehe

Couple small things that caught my eye.

I barrowed it from a couple of Diamond Dogs.

Should be borrowed

Excellent chapter.  Zoidberg can take it from here:

Image: http://i482.photobucket.com/albums/rr189/TACO_EATO/1252373294667.gif

>>662211662211

Good thing they sent Rarity to go fetch it.  She's a real fast runner... Oh... They might be bucked.

Storm Dancer as the Joker?  Nah, he's more like Batman, he's got a gadget for everything in that utility saddlebag.  Oh!  And knives.  Lots of knives... wait... maybe the Joker wasn't too far off...

>>662296662296

borrowed >> Fixed, thanks for noticing.

The amulet suppresses Nightmare Moon.  It's Luna alright.  She's just got a lot of will at this point.

>>662337662337

Ah, yea, makes sense now that I remember that little bit of information from earlier about how it suppresses NMM.

Hmm...Wonder what Celestia would think of Storm Dancer's, for lack of a better word, carving of Twilight.

Potential outcomes...disturbing.  /Mordin

>>662364662364

She wouldn't like it.

Oh, and thanks for the watch.  As a reward, here's the ending of the story:

Twilight and co. attempt to use elements of harmony to seal discord, but instead Twilight is teleported inside the elements where she meets a ghostly image of Diamond Tiara.  Diamond Tiara says that the cycle of sealing chaos is broken and now Twilight must choose between: Killing Discord... and all dragons, Taking control of Discord's mind but going mad in the process, or merging her soul with Discord's soul creating a new DNA of Harmony.  At this point the story becomes a "choose your own adventure" where no matter what you choose you get a single line of text:  "There was a flash of [color] light and the Friendship Express is destroyed, ending all travel around Equestria.  Have a good day."

That is a Joke.

>>662405662405

I meant to watch a while ago, but better late than never I suppose!

Image: http://screenshot.xfire.com/s/122220704-4.jpg

Will there be a bonus epilogue chapter that gives a paypal link to donate for additional Downloadable chapters prior to the ending as well?

>>662426662426

No, but to get the good ending you have to have multiple people click the Like button until the "Like Asset" bar is full.  It may require some friends, even though reading it typically a solo activity.

oh great Celestia-bot has changed into her

"I will do anything to preserve peace" mode...

Good job!

wow great

Celestia will not be happy when she finds out what he did to Twi

I see only one mistake

Shining Armor shook his head, “You were never my princess.  I only serve the true princess!”

if there should be a Storm Dancer?

btw someone should get Spike and make him send a letter to Celestia