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After 1000 years on the moon things have changed so much that Luna must call upon an old friend to help her understand the new world. But who is really being helped in this relationship?

Chapters (2)

The Beginning · 27th Jan 2015 · 1,258 words
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Reveal thy secrets · 2nd Feb 2015 · 1,276 words
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Comments ( 5 )

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poisonflame616

poisonflame616 #1 · Jan 31st, 2015 · · · The Beginning ·

an interesting story, I quite like how you're using one of the garden statues to help Luna

my only problem is the two stallions at the end, what their talking about seems, in the best way I could put it, like a soft echo
it's hard to tell if what they're planning is good or bad and hold no character development beside wearing hoods and a bowler hat

even the stallion who spoke to Victoria Fyrefly had more character development, he recognised Victorias rank and left something that might help Luna

all-in-all, I do hope to see more well written pages like this one and hopefully something about those two at the window

IronHoofes