Escaping the Inevitable
1000 AD
Sugardia Castle Dungeon Cell
Rainbow Dash awoke to an overwhelming sense of pain. The sensation was so all-encompassing that for a moment, she couldn’t focus on anything else in the room. She held a hoof tightly to the spot, trying to dull the sensation with pressure, but it didn’t help much. She lied in place for a few minutes, trying to regain her senses.
Once she felt slightly better, she gingerly sat herself up, still feeling somewhat woozy. She was lying on a hard stone slab in a dank, chilly cell. Peering out in the dim lighting, she looked to the other side of the room and saw the silhouette of another pony lying on a similar slab. At the far end of the room, flickering torchlight spilled into the room, playfully dancing along several vertical metal bars that imprisoned the ponies within their cell. It began to dawn on Rainbow Dash that she and Twilight Sparkle were trapped in this dungeon, with a looming sense of dread hanging in the air.
She winced sharply as the pain returned in full force. Underneath her hoof, her stomach gurgled loudly. “Gahhh... I’m gonna die of hunger! Don’t I get a last meal or something?”
From behind the bars and around the corner, a guard’s voice replied. “It’s still being prepared, and it’s a fine lot more than villains like you deserve. Now pipe down!”
Scowling, Rainbow Dash slid off the stone slab and carefully balanced on her four hooves again. Absentmindedly, she rubbed the back of her head. Great, and now my head’s kinda sore, too. She walked up to the pony silhouette and spoke quietly. “Hey. Twi? That you?”
Twilight Sparkle sighed, staring blankly at the ceiling. “We’re in a tight spot, aren’t we.”
Rainbow Dash chuckled, softly yet cavalierly, “Yep. This is some pickle, all right. Omigosh, a pickle sounds so amazing right now...”
“A tumultuous trial, a victorious verdict, a cheating Chancellor, an improper incarceration, all leading to a... painful punishment.”
“Heh... you could say that,” said Rainbow Dash, rubbing her stomach and reflecting.
“And of course... repugnant royalty.”
“Yeah... Uh... I’m not quite sure what that means.”
“The Princess. She hates me.”
Rainbow Dash sighed, sympathetic yet slightly strained. Looks like we’re having this talk now. “Pinkie Pie doesn’t hate you...”
“She does too. I saw how she acts around me. I was too giddy and excited around her to care at first, but now it’s so obvious to me. I was obnoxious and overbearing, and she doesn’t want me around. She’d rather just spend time with you.”
She shook her head. “I’m tellin’ ya, she doesn’t hate you. She told me so herself.”
“She did?” Twilight Sparkle’s eyes went wide with shock.
“Yes! She knows you’re cool and super friendly, deep down. You just needa... dial it back a little. Stop treating her like a goddess. Just ignore the fact that she’s a princess. Be friends with the pony on the inside, y’know?”
“So basically, exactly what I said about Frog. In front of the Princess.”
Rainbow Dash winced. Drat... she noticed that too, huh? “Y-yeah... listen... it’s not the end of the world. I’m sure if you apologize, this whole thing will blow over before you know it.”
She rolled over on the slab, looking up at Rainbow Dash. “I can’t! Don’t you get it?”
“Sure you can. Pinkie Pie really wants to just be your friend. If you show her that you’re sincere...”
“Not the apology! The execution!” wailed Twilight Sparkle.
“Oh... you’re still going on about that?”
She blinked a few times, incredulously. “Wh... YES, I am still ‘going on’ about that. Rainbow, in a few short hours... we’re going to...” she said with a nervous gulp, “die.”
“Pfft, fuck that.”
In a brief flash, Twilight Sparkle’s eyes were restored with a glimmer of hope. The brash, recklessly confident pony in front of her made her believe that they really had a chance, after all. As the moment passed, the glimmer was replaced with a scowl. “Hey. Language.”
Rainbow Dash chuckled, and in teasing condescendence, she playfully patted her friend on the head. “Awww, nice to see you’re back with us, Miss Frumpy Flank.”
She swatted her friend’s hoof away, absentmindedly. “What, so do you have a plan or something?”
“Course!” she smirked confidently. “You ready?”
“Absolutely! What’s the plan?”
Winking deliberately, Rainbow Dash turned toward the bars and yelled in a loud and enunciated voice. “This whole mess is your fault, dweeb! If it wasn’t for your dumb invention, none of this would’ve happened!”
“Huh? Why are... oh. Ohhhh.” Twilight Sparkle’s confusion was replaced with dawning understanding, and she too yelled toward the bars. “Me? What kind of ignoramus doesn’t even recognize their own Princess? It’s your fault that you brought her to use my invention!”
“Hey!” the guard yelled from around the corner. “I thought I told you two to shut your traps!”
The two friends shared a quick grin. The plan was working! Rainbow Dash belted out again in the guard’s direction. “Whatever! At least she likes hanging out with me! You were too busy geeking out to notice that you were giving her the creeps!”
Twilight Sparkle opened her mouth to yell a reply, but closed it curtly. “Hey... too soon,” she whispered tersely. “Well, we’ll see if she still thinks you’re sooo cool once the Wonderbolts reject you!”
The guard poked his armored head around the corner. “I’m not telling you again. Shut up, or I’ll come in there and make you shut up!”
Neither of the ponies heard him. They were too busy locking eyes, attempting to inflict physical harm with their glares. “You wanna know why none of the colts in school ever asked you out?! They were afraid you’d set them on fire, just like one of your lame-ass, death-trap inventions!”
Twilight Sparkle’s eyes started to well up, and her face turned a deep shade of crimson. Inhaling deeply, she screamed at the top of her lungs straight into Rainbow Dash’s face. “PINKIE PIE IS OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE!”
Rainbow Dash snapped. “Why you little...!” She tackled Twilight Sparkle to the floor, landing on top of her. On her back, Twilight Sparkle flailed her hooves wildly, hitting her repeatedly in the face.
“That’s enough!” The fully armored guard began fumbling with his keys, working on the lock to their cell door.
Twilight Sparkle kicked one of Rainbow Dash’s legs out from under her, causing her to lose balance. Rolling over, she flipped on top of the pegasus. Pinning down both of her forelegs with her hooves, Twilight Sparkle leaned forward, chomped down on her rainbow striped mane, and tugged hard. Rainbow Dash cried out sharply in pain, struggling and flailing wildly with her hind legs. However, by leaning forward, Twilight Sparkle’s own mane was sloping off her shoulder, falling just in front of the pegasus. Rainbow Dash bit down on the purple mane and tugged hard in return. Both mares let out shrill cries as they yanked and pulled on each other’s manes.
During this time, the armored guard had managed to unlock the cell door, and was approaching the two fighting mares. “I’ll put a stop to your racket once and for all!”
As soon as he was within reach, both ponies immediately released each other’s manes. “Now!” shouted Twilight Sparkle. She jumped up into the air, leaping over the soldier’s head and landing behind him. From the ground, Rainbow Dash swept with her leg, kicking both of his forelegs out from underneath him. His front half fell to the ground as she quickly rolled out of the way. Twilight Sparkle took advantage of the opening, and bucked the soldier as hard as she could in his armored hindquarters. He went flying, flank over head, and crashed onto the cold stone floor, loudly and unceremoniously. Both of the mares made a break for the cell door, racing outside before the guard could recover. Once they were out of the cell, Rainbow Dash quickly bucked the door shut, and the pair ran off down the hallway.
“Phew!” gasped Twilight Sparkle. “Making that... look convincing was... harder than I... thought it would be! It’s a good thing that.... we know each other so well.... huh, Dash?”
“...”
“Dash?” Twilight Sparkle turned to look at her friend as they continued to race along. She was still glaring venomously. Twilight Sparkle couldn’t help but grin, and switch to baby talk. “Awww wut’s da maddur? Can’t take da hits as guud as yuu gib dem?”
“I. Like. Stallions,” she replied tersely. “Not mares. Stallions.”
Twilight Sparkle giggled lightly. “I know, Rainbow Dash, I know. I was just trying to get a rise out of you, so that the guard would fall for our trap and open our cell. But I took things a little too far, and... well, I’m sorry. That was mean of me.”
Rainbow Dash sighed. After a moment, she replied, “Yeah. I’m sorry, too, Twi...” The two friends smiled at each other as they ran down the hallway, putting their brief feud to rest. At least, until she stuck out her tongue and added, “...that you had to go to prom without a date.”
“Wh... Hey!” Twilight Sparkle playfully bumped into Rainbow Dash as they ran, giggling. “Truce, already!”
The two ponies’ laughter slowly faded away, replaced with determination. They shared a resolute nod. “Right! Let’s blow this joint!”
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1000 AD
Sugardia Castle Dungeons
The two friends crept slowly and methodically down the halls of the dungeon. The emotion and energy of the initial escape had cooled, leaving behind jittery levels of adrenaline. They were still deep within the bowels of the dungeon, which were patrolled by dozens of armed guards. More importantly, they were both still wearing shackles over their wings and horn, respectively, and all of their equipment had been confiscated. Even Rainbow Dash was level-headed enough to realized that, at least for now, discretion was the better part of valor.
Luckily, there were a few things going their way. First, the guards had not seen fit to bind the ponies’ legs at all, permitting them to walk and run unhindered. Second, the dungeon halls were relatively safe, considering the circumstances. They were dimly lit by a few sparse torches, providing ample cover of darkness. While their halls resonated with a soft clack each time they set a hoof on the stone floor, the noise of their hoofsteps was lost amongst scurrying rodents, dripping water, and a cold hollow wind. Last, and possibly most important, the guards had not yet been alerted to the escaped prisoners. As long as the ponies could remain unnoticed, they stood a chance of escaping to the outside world.
Rainbow Dash stopped abruptly, causing Twilight Sparkle to bump lightly into her in the darkness. Squinting ahead, they saw a lone guard patrolling the halls. Like the guard who had been watching over their cell, this pony was covered from head to tail in a heavy plate mail. Undoubtedly, this offered him superior protection, but it also left him slow, and vulnerable to surprise attacks from behind.
Rainbow Dash was already creeping up slowly behind the armored pony, preparing just such an attack. She stepped gingerly down the hall, trying desperately to remain unheard. Stupid hooves... this would be so much easier if I could just fly up to him... As if she had jinxed herself, the guard stopped suddenly and straightened, alerted to some noise behind him. He slowly began to turn himself around to examine the source of the sounds. Realizing that she was about to be discovered, she dropped all pretenses of stealth and charged at full-speed. Leaping at her foe, she delivered a fierce kick with both of her forelegs, directly to the back of the guard’s helmet.
With a noisy series of metallic clangs, the helmet flew off the guard, striking against the hallway wall before bouncing thrice down the hall. The guard teetered briefly before collapsing in a heap, sending a loud crash echoing into the dark distance.
“Rainbow!” gasped Twilight Sparkle, mortified. “You... Why did you... You knocked his head clean off!”
“No way! I did not! He probably just passed out, that’s all,” replied Rainbow Dash defensively. A hint of worry in her voice betrayed some lingering doubt, however. The pair leaned in closer to examine the downed guard in the dim lighting.
When they leaned down to look inside the suit, they froze, turning to each other. “Empty?! How?” Rainbow Dash was floored. “We both just saw it walking around! Some kind of unicorn magic?”
Twilight Sparkle struggled to comprehend her observations. “I... I don’t think so... I mean, it’s hard to tell in this light, but I don’t think I saw a glow... And if it wasn’t unicorn magic, then what...” Her concentration broke, and she threw a furtive glance up and down the hall. “We need to move. That made tons of noise. More guards’ll be coming soon.”
Rainbow Dash shot one last hesitant glance at the pile of armor. What in Sugardia is going on here? How can an empty suit of armor move on its own, aside from unicorn magic? But she realized that her friend was correct; right now, time was not on their side. They turned and proceeded further down the hallway.
Sure enough, as Twilight Sparkle had predicted, it wasn’t long before the light tapping of their hoofsteps was mirrored in the distance by slower, metal steps. Some guards — perhaps two or three — were heading in their direction, coming to investigate the sounds of the earlier attack. Sharing a glance, the two ponies realized that further fighting would simply draw more important attention to themselves, and run the risk of raising an alarm. Motioning quickly, Rainbow Dash pointed to a small wooden door, just ahead of them. Bolting, the pair quickly but quietly pushed the door open, and slid out of the hallway. They closed the door behind them, causing the approaching metal footsteps to become muffled behind the wooden protection. For now, the pair felt that they would be safe.
“A-ah! You there!” yelled an unknown voice from behind them, inside the room.
They leapt in surprise, quickly turning to look at the source of the voice. In shock, they realized that the voice was that of a slate blue unicorn. The unicorn didn’t have any particularly remarkable features — at least none that the friends could make out in the dim lighting. Rather, the most noticeable feature about the unicorn was that his neck was exposed and restrained near the ground, with a menacing blade perched precariously a few feet above him. “P-please! You have to save me!”
“Shh! Keep your voice down!” Rainbow Dash hissed. She leaned her head against the door, listening outside to see if the guards had reacted.
Twilight Sparkle ran over and began to free the unicorn from the restraints of the guillotine. “Hold still. Let’s get you out of this thing.”
“Oh, Sun bless you,” he moaned. “Y-you’re Twilight Sparkle, right? The inventor? I-it’s me, Pokey Pierce! Remember me? My dad owns the market in Equus.”
“Oh, right,” Twilight Sparkle replied somewhat absentmindedly, as she clumsily grappled at the restraints with her hooves. “Grr, this stupid thing... How’d you end up here?”
He shook his head lightly. “It was awful. I was helping my dad run some of the stalls at the Millennial Summer Sun Celebration, when I... well... accidentally ruined some of the fair’s decorations. All of a sudden, some guards drag me away and throw me in this dungeon. They were going to execute me over a few popped balloons! I wasn’t even given a trial!”
Rainbow Dash scowled from the doorway. “Same thing with us! We got proven innocent, and that Chancellor tried to off us, too. What gives?”
“Proven not guilty,” corrected Twilight Sparkle. “Anyway, nopony’s getting beheaded over silly misunderstandings like these. Let’s get out of here, and then we’ll... well, we’ll figure something out.”
Rainbow Dash cracked the door open and poked her head outside. The sounds of hoofsteps could faintly be heard from the far end of the hallway; the guards had passed by them without incident. She motioned for them to follow.
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1000 AD
Sugardia Castle Dungeons — Upper Levels
The three ponies continued their escape as they climbed their way out of the deepest levels of the dungeon. They had acquired another companion — a terrified pacifist at that — and they were encountering guards with increasing frequencies. In spite of these setbacks, the shadows were facilitating their escape quite nicely. The ponies were able to slip past patrols that were no further than a cart’s-length away, thanks to the darkness. Twilight Sparkle was actually rather perturbed by this. If the three of us are able to slip out of here unnoticed, what does that mean for the evil ponies who actually deserve to be here?
At the end of the hall, the ponies reached yet another staircase, and began to quietly ascend the steps. Rainbow Dash sighed loudly in frustration, ignoring the reprimanding “Shhh!” from Twilight Sparkle. This is taking forever! If I didn’t have this stupid metal belt over my wings, I coulda flown outta here and be eating dinner by now! Though... I guess that wouldn’t do Twilight or that other unicorn any good, huh? Crud...
“Halt!”
“Crud.”
Lost in her thoughts, Rainbow Dash had reached the top of the staircase and had pushed on into the next room. In doing so, she had missed a few important details. First, the lighting of this room had sharply increased. It was still lit sporadically by torches, but unlike in the lower dungeons, the torchlight here managed to cover the entire room. In fact, as she stopped to look around, she realized that they had made their way back up to the entrance, where this morning the warden and the Chancellor had sent them to their fate. Second, and more urgently, she had failed to notice that she had walked straight between two guards standing post at the doorway. As the trio of escapees entered the room, the guards charged in front of them, blocking their path.
“Stop right there! Where you do think you’re going?”
“Us? Oh, we’re the, uhh...” Rainbow Dash quickly threw together the first alibi that popped into her head. “Blacksmiths!”
“R-right! Somepony needs to maintain all of those cell doors, shackles, guillotines...” added Twilight Sparkle. Pokey Pierce nodded enthusiastically.
“Funny. The two of you look a bit like the Princess’s foalnappers... the very ones I tossed in jail just this morning.”
Rainbow Dash winced, “Oh. Heh heh. I guess that means you’re not buying it?”
“Don’t just stand there!” yelped Twilight Sparkle. “Run!”
She immediately leapt across the room, diving into cover behind the warden’s desk. Rainbow Dash started to run to the opposite side of the room, hoping that with three escapees and two guards, they would be able to draw them apart. Unfortunately, the guards didn’t fall for the ruse, instead focusing their attention on the third, least battle-hardened of the ponies. Pokey Pierce shook with fright as the guards closed in on him.
Rainbow Dash reached the wall and turned, realizing that nopony was following her. Without a second thought, she charged back at full steam, delivering a full-body tackle directly into the sides of one of the guards. She gasped for breath as the wind was knocked out of her. In hindsight, she realized that running chest-first into a heavy slab of metal was probably not a very effective attack. The guard didn’t seem very phased either, reinforcing that idea. But, at least it had served to draw their attention. The two guards turned away from Pokey, who fled to the far side of the room. As the guards started to back Rainbow Dash into the corner, she realized that she hadn’t really thought this next part through before jumping into the fray.
“Rainbow!”
In the corner of her eye, she caught a flash of metal. On pure instinct, she leapt into the air, twisting and flipping herself over. As the flash flew underneath her, she stretched her neck and bit down onto the object. Finishing her flip, she landed squarely on the ground in front of the guards, brandishing her katana.
“Nice catch!” cheered Twilight Sparkle from behind the desk. “I found all of our stuff! Hang on, let me find mm mmfrg ff fhf.” Her sentence trailed off as she dove headfirst into her saddlebags, trying to extract a weapon without the help of her horn.
I appreciate the offer, Rainbow Dash thought to herself, but there’s no need. I got this. She leapt backwards, blasting a Wind Slash in the direction of one guard. Landing on the wall with all four hooves, she jumped off toward his partner. As she passed overhead, she curled and did a tight somersault, slicing neatly through the empty helmet. She slid to a stop in the center of the room, as the two suits of armor crumpled behind her.
“ Fao!” exclaimed Twilight Sparkle, with her mouth clumsily biting down on her Flamethrower. “ Luff li’ you di’in mee mah hel’ affu all!”
Rainbow Dash arched an eyebrow. “What you tryin’ to say?”
“AH FED , lufkk l’k you dih-dint...”
“For pony’s sake! What’s wrong with you? I’ve got a freakin’ sword in my mouth and I can talk just fine. It’s not that hard.”
It was difficult to tell with the large metallic device covering up most of her face, but she appeared to be scowling. “ Weh EFFUF meh! Ahf euph to euphin mah HUH, fo...”
Rainbow Dash rubbed her temple with her hoof. “Stop. Just stop.”
Pokey Pierce emerged from his hiding spot, and approached the pair. “Oh, thank goodness. If you hadn’t have stopped those guards, it would have been straight back to the guillotine for me... Say, we’re almost free, aren’t we? This is the warden’s room?”
“Yeah, that’s the thing... Where’s the warden? Shouldn’t she be here?”
Twilight Sparkle blinked in surprise, and turned her head to look about the room. Sure enough, there was no sign of the warden pegasus. She shrugged. “ Duh-nuh. Ah heff...”
“Stop.”
“W-well, I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth. I say we get while the gettin’s good!” With that, Pokey Pierce made a break for the entrance, ascending the staircase.
Rainbow Dash hurriedly strapped on her saddlebags using her teeth, then picked her sword back up. “Sounds good to me. Hey, stick together!” She and Twilight Sparkle raced up the stairs in pursuit.
The trio stepped out into the open air. The dungeon’s tower was connected to the castle proper with a somewhat precarious metal beam bridge. Looking down, they saw that they were more than a hundred meters up in the air. A strong gust of wind pushed the ponies about, adding to the sense of vertigo. Normally, Rainbow Dash would be unfazed at this altitude. However, considering that her wings were still bound, she felt an unfamiliar sense of vulnerability. Still, there was hardly any other option at this point; if they wanted to escape, they’d have to cross.
The ponies carefully walked across the bridge, trying to cross as quickly as possible and get back inside. As they got about halfway across, the bridge started to vibrate and rumble, causing them to nervously screech to a halt. “W-what’s that noise? What’s happening?” Pokey Pierce nervously looked to the other ponies for reassurance.
Twilight Sparkle had none to offer. She pointed ahead, horrified. “If ah bwagom!”
Rainbow Dash faced forward. A monstrous metallic contraption, several times larger than herself, was slowly rumbling its way onto the bridge, making its way to intercept the ponies. Two spiked wheels slowly lurched the machine forward, as exhaust belched from various pipes along the creature’s back. At front, the beast’s neck was crowned with a horrific draconian visage, with glowing red eyes and rows of metallic teeth.
“You like?” shouted Chancellor Scratch from the far end of the bridge. She was flanked by the warden pegasus, who had notified the Chancellor of the prison breach. “The fillies down in R&D whipped this bad boy together. Scum like you will be no match for the Dragon Tank.”
Rainbow Dash flared her wings defensively, and turned her head slightly to yell at Pokey Pierce. “Hey! You’re not gonna stand a chance on this thing. Make a break for it! We’ll cover you.”
“W-what? But, I...” Pokey Pierce looked nervously between his two armed companions, and the menacing tank that was slowly approaching them. It slowly dawned on him that the rainbow pegasus was right, and he needed to escape before he became a liability. “Thank you... thank you so much! I’ll never forget this!” He began his terrified charge at the tank, attempting to pass it.
“EEE HEF-FIA!” Twilight Sparkle leapt forward to provide some literal cover-fire, biting down on the controls of the Flamethrower in her mouth. A bombardment of flames spewed forth, searing across the tank. Pokey Pierce took the opportunity and raced past the tank, across the bridge, and down the stairs into the castle.
The warden was dumbstruck as the unicorn ran past the Chancellor and herself. “Wh... Chancellor? We can’t just let him escape! We have to stop that fugitive!”
“Scratch that. He’s just a small fry.” Her eyes were fixated on the tank within the whirlwind of flames. “We’re here to stop these terrorists, at all costs.”
Slowly, the flames surrounding the Dragon Tank died down. As the smoke cleared, the ponies realized in horror that the tank was in pristine condition. Rainbow Dash’s was dumbfounded. “Wha... it’s not damaged?!”
Chancellor Scratch grinned wickedly. “Oh, did I fail to mention? Completely impervious to the elements. Fire, lightning, you name it. You’ll have to try harder than that.”
Twilight Sparkle’s face fell. “Oo huuf abbuf... Ah mee uh bihfih foo fum...”
Rainbow Dash snapped, turning toward her friend. “Spit it out!”
She dropped the Flamethrower clumsily on the ground, liberating her jaw. “Rainbow Dash, it’s impervious to my Flamethrower! I need a different tool from my saddlebags. I’ll need to get to it manually... Buy me some time!” She ran back several paces, dropped her saddlebags, and began riffling inside them.
Great. Rainbow Dash turned back to see what the Dragon Tank was up to, just in time to catch a faceful of burning. Returning the favor, the Dragon Tank was spewing a blast of flame from its mouth, directly toward the pegasus. She quickly leapt back before she got singed any further. Scowling, she glanced behind her. Can’t keep backing up... I need to keep it away from Twi. Guess that means up and over!
She rushed forward at the tank, jumping onto its back. As she approached, an array of ports on the tank opened and began shooting energy beams at the pony. However, the tank’s defenses were no match for Rainbow Dash’s agility and reflexes. Dodge, dodge, one grazed her back leg, dodge, counterattack! She left a deep gash on the tank’s back, exposing wires and circuitry. She leapt off the backside of the tank, and slid to a stop on the bridge behind it.
Stiffly, with clockwork jittering, the tank’s head rotated to look at the fresh wound. The glowing eyes lit up with intensity before firing twin heat beams at the gash. As the beams heated the metal, it slowly began to solder the wound shut.
Chancellor Scratch nonchalantly picked at her hoof with her teeth. “Oh, also? It can repair itself. You’re basically screwed.”
Rainbow Dash backed up nervously. The tank’s wheels spun, slowly turning itself around to face its attacker. Completing its spin, it emitted a dark burst of smog, then began slowly lumbering toward her. She braced herself low, preparing to leap over the tank once again.
Unexpectedly, a shower of sparks exploded from its neck. It let out a mighty bellow, as if in pain, as a rain of light continued to shower down upon Rainbow Dash. With one final groan, the neck snapped completely, causing the head to smash onto the bridge in front of itself. Where the neck was once attached, now stood Twilight Sparkle. She stood defiantly, miniature chainsaw gripped firmly in her mouth, her face scorched from the sparks that had burst so close to her.
“Y-you...” For a moment, Chancellor Scratch was dumbfounded. The moment was brief, as she quickly found the appropriate emotion to express herself: rage. “You demon! You wrecked my Dragon Tank!”
The Dragon Tank had its own way of expressing itself, as it shot an energy blast straight into Twilight Sparkle’s gut. Grunting heavily, she slid off the the tank’s back, landing beside the tank. Winded, she propped herself up slightly off the ground, and focused her energy into one last effort. “Webaih dif!” she yelled as she tossed her chainsaw into the spokes of the wheel beside her. The whirring blades of the chainsaw sliced neatly into the hide of the Dragon Tank. The handle jutted out between the spokes, preventing the wheel from rotating any further, and the tank ground to a stop. Spent, she collapsed, panting for breath.
Rainbow Dash leapt into action. Decapitated and immobilized, the Dragon Tank was now a sitting duck. Spinning through the air, she dove head-first at the tank, driving her sword down to the hilt into the beast, slicing through layers of circuitry and components. As she withdrew the katana, the tank began to shake violently, as electric current arced across its surface, and smoke bellowed from deep within.
“Hurry!” Chancellor Scratch and the warden charged toward the Dragon Tank. “We need to repair the damage!”
Rainbow Dash didn’t need any more of an invitation. She flung her katana at the stairwell. It noisily clattered and slid down the steps. Leaping off the Dragon Tank, she bit down on Twilight Sparkle’s tail and quickly dragged her toward the staircase. Her instinctual reaction came not a moment too soon. Before the pair could reach the stairwell, an explosion erupted from the belly of the Dragon Tank, sending all four ponies flying.
“No!” gasped Twilight Sparkle. She and her friend looked on in horror as the blast sent the Chancellor and the warden careening off the side of the bridge. They raced to the edge of the bridge and looked over the side.
Fortunately, though the warden pegasus was getting on in years, she had still remembered her years of training. On instinct, she had caught the Chancellor and was now frantically flapping her wings, trying to keep them both airborne. The Chancellor, on the other hand, was largely oblivious to her predicament. She was devoting herself to glaring murderously up at the two ponies. Her crimson eyes flashed brightly in the afternoon sunlight. “Don’t you DARE think this is over! You’ll both suffer dearly for this.”
Rainbow Dash tugged on Twilight Sparkle’s shoulder. “Yeah, okay, they’re both fine. Now let’s move before they sic another freakin’ tank on us!” She ran to the staircase and recovered her katana, while her friend shakily rose to her hooves again. Together, they raced down the stairs, leading toward the castle’s exit.
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1000 AD
Sugardia Castle
The two ponies fled as fast as they could still muster. The steps circled tightly, causing them to dizzily twist their way down. With each passing floor of the tower, they were a few meters closer to the ground, and freedom. Thanks to the Dragon Tank’s attack and the Chancellor’s involvement, they knew that security would soon be on full alert. Their window of opportunity was quickly closing.
The staircase abruptly ended as they reached the bottom level. The ponies were dumped into a large living quarters. A plethora of beds and tables were arranged at the far end of the room, where a few guard ponies were resting and enjoying some off-duty time. Rainbow Dash’s eyes were quickly drawn to a table directly in front of her. Encircling the table, a group of ponies were holding a quiet discussion. Her eyes bulged as she immediately recognized their distinctive uniforms: blue full-bodied jumpsuits with a jagged yellow lightning bolt running along the underbelly.
She squealed, “The Wonderbolts!”
The Wonderbolts turned from their discussion and looked at Rainbow Dash. Smiling, they waved with a friendly, open welcome. “It’s the terrorists! They’ve escaped from the dungeons!”
Rainbow Dash gasped loudly, “They... they know who we are! Twilight, did you hear that? They’ve heard of me!”
Twilight Sparkle giggled, and waved back at the Wonderbolts. “Oh no! We must’ve gone down too far! We’re in the barracks!”
The Wonderbolts collectively approached the ponies, grinning cheerfully. “Quickly! Don’t let them escape!”
“Escape? Me?” Rainbow Dash snickered lightheartedly. “No way! I’m not goin’ anywhere. I mean, I’ve been trying to meet you guys for, like, forever. In fact, now that I’ve got your attention, I was thinking that maybe I could audition...”
*SLAP* Rainbow Dash staggered as Twilight Sparkle’s hoof flew across her face. “Snap out of it, and run!” she screamed.
Rubbing her face, Rainbow Dash turned back to look at the Wonderbolts. Snapped from her delusion, she realized with a panic that their reception was far from jovial. The Wonderbolts were approaching with swords drawn, slowly encircling the two friends. Sugardia’s special forces were not going to allow a pair of treasonists to break out of jail on their watch. “The blue one has a sword!” called out one of the soldiers. “Use force if necessary!” With a sinking heart, Rainbow Dash realized that for the time being, she was a hostile target, not a potential applicant. She turned and fled, partially due to survival instincts, partly out of despair.
The two friends bolted up the staircase with the Wonderbolts hot on their hooves. Jumping out on the next floor up, they recognized it as the ground floor, thanks to their recent 7th century visit. They fled down the hallways, back on the correct path toward the exit.
“The prisoners are escaping!” yelled a guard from a side hallway, giving chase.
“Don’t let them get away!” shouted one of the Wonderbolts, emerging from the stairway.
“Block off the entrance!” came a voice from the hall ahead.
Twilight Sparkle turned back in dismay to her friend as they ran. “We’re surrounded!”
“We can’t give up now, not when we’re so close! We’re going to have to force our way through!”
As the two ponies rushed into the entrance hall, they were met by a platoon of guards, poised at the ready to stop the escape. Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle jumped and evaded, trying to weave their way through the masses, but the numbers were simply against them. The guards shoved, grabbed, and tackled, forcing the two ponies to the ground. More troops swarmed into the room, as the Wonderbolts and other soldiers whom had given chase began to catch up. The escape attempt had come to a bitter end.
“Stop this, right now!”
From underneath the pile of soldiers, the two ponies looked up in surprise. Rainbow Dash was struck with déjà vu. This was not the first time, over the past few days, that a regally dressed pink pony had suddenly appeared before her. Indeed, this wasn’t even the first time that Pinkie Pie had addressed her from the top of this hall’s central staircase. However, her present demeanor was a far cry from her Queen Diane impersonation. Her hair had been brushed straight, meticulously and rotely. Her royal dress hung awkwardly on her frame. She even looked uncomfortable inside her own skin. Everything about her appearance screamed discomfort to Rainbow Dash.
“Those two ponies are my friends. I want you to let them go right now! That... That’s an order!”
Nopony moved, as a tense silence filled the air. Two of the Wonderbolts awkwardly glanced at each other, before speaking. “Princess Pinkamena, a thousand pardons, but you don’t understand... These two fugitives need to be brought to justice.”
Pinkie Pie stomped angrily, glaring down at the Wonderbolt. “No! I said I want you to let them go! Why isn’t anypony listening to me?” The Wonderbolt turned back to his fellow soldier, looking for guidance.
Before anypony could reply, the doors behind Pinkie Pie burst open. Panting for breath, the Chancellor and warden dashed into the room. “Not so... fast,” gasped Chancellor Scratch. “Do what... King Sugardia says.”
The mass of soldiers turned sharply, dropping to their knees in respect. Following behind the Chancellor and warden, King Sugardia the 33rd entered the chamber. He solemnly walked up to the edge of the stairs, standing beside his daughter. They shared a silent glance out of the corners of their eyes. They both knew what was about to happen next; this type of confrontation had become all too familiar.
“Escort the prisoners back to their cell, to carry out the remainder of their sentence,” ordered the King.
“Father!”
“Silence!” he snapped, turning to face her. “You are Princess of this Kingdom, and you will start acting as such, immediately. Your personal wishes must come second to your royal obligations.”
“I’m not just some... some word,” pleaded Pinkie Pie. “I’m so much more than just a Princess... I’m also a pony!”
The King scoffed. “More than just... What a bizarre thing to say. Is this the sort of frivolous nonsense you’re picking up from the outside?”
“Grr, it’s not nonsense! Why don’t you ever stop and think about how I feel?!”
“And why do you not act as you should?! Know your place, Pinkamena!”
Angrily, Pinkie Pie reared up onto her front legs, and loudly slammed her back hooves to the ground, landing on top of the hem of her gown. Leaning forward sharply, her dress tore at its seams, ripping across her chest and along her sides. The shreds of fabric fell to the ground as she liberated herself from the garment, leaving herself with nothing on but her saddlebags and leg guard.
“Pinkamena! What in the name of the Sun are you doing?”
With a vigorous shake of her head, her mane snapped about, springing back to its natural curly state. Turning her back on the King, she fumed. “I hate this castle. I hate this title. And most of all... I hate you!” She bounded down the steps, toward the kneeling guards. Uncertainly, the soldiers awkwardly rose to their hooves, bumping and pushing into each other as they tried to make room for the advancing Princess. She approached her friends. “C’mon, gals. We’re leaving.”
Instinctively, Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle chased after the Princess, not wanting to turn down an opportunity to escape. The guards stood dumbfounded, watching the trio leave, whispering quietly to each other.
“WHAT THE HELL are you gawking at?” screeched Chancellor Scratch. “The terrorists are running off with the Princess AGAIN! Get them, you idiots!” Snapping sharply back to the present, the soldiers raced outside, giving chase.
King Sugardia the 33rd closed his eyes. “Pinkamena...”
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
1000 AD
Sugardia Forest
The three friends rushed out of the castle grounds, down into the lush forests that surrounded Sugardia Castle. After soaking in the fresh air and bright afternoon sunlight, Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle shared a look. While they were certainly glad to be free once more, they were realizing that it probably wasn’t in their best interest to commit the exact crime that they had, just this very morning, been accused of.
“H-hey, Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash was unsure of how to broach the topic, aside from directly. “Are you really sure that we should be... y’know... foalnapping you like this?”
Pinkie Pie scowled, leading the group along the forest path. “I don’t ever want to go back there. Ever again.” Wincing, she turned back to her friends and added, “But... you’re right, I don’t want you two getting in trouble because of me. Once we get through the forest here, we can split up, and I’ll...”
“No way!” chimed Twilight Sparkle. “We’re not going to abandon you! Not when you need our help more than ever. We’re all in this together, and that’s that!”
Pinkie Pie winced an embarrassed smile back at the two ponies. When she saw their earnest, enthused faces smiling back at her, her expression gradually softened. “Twilight... And Rainbow! Thanks, you guys!”
“Stop right there, criminal scum!” A squad of soldiers was leaving the castle gates, racing along the path leading to the forest.
“W-w-whoa!”
“Grr! Don’t those ponies know when to give up?” Rainbow Dash mused. “C’mon, follow me! We’ll lose them in the woods.”
The friends charged down a path leading deeper into the woods, as the guards ran after in pursuit. The narrow path twisted between trees, around underbrush, and over fallen logs. The trio passed through these obstacles with ease, but the soldiers were slowly gaining ground — a testament to their rigorous training. All too soon, the trio found themselves in a small circular clearing. The dense forest tightly enclosed them. There were no other paths to travel, no gaps through the treeline that they could squeeze through, no rocks or logs that they could hide behind. In short...
“We’re trapped!” wailed Pinkie Pie.
Twilight Sparkle turned to Rainbow Dash. “We were following you!” she said, exasperated. “Didn’t you know that this way led to a dead end?”
“Nope. I’ve always flown over these woods.”
“Wh... But... Then why did you have us follow you?!”
“Well, somepony needed to lead the way! ...Why? Do either of you know the right way?”
“Yes!” replied a cheery Pinkie Pie and an enraged Twilight Sparkle.
“Oh. Cool.”
“Ugh...” Twilight Sparkle massaged her forehead, staring at the ground dejectedly. As something caught her eye, her face shifted first to confusion and then to elation. “Girls! Look there!”
The other two ponies followed Twilight Sparkle’s hoof. In the center of a small ring of flowers, the air lightly crinkled and bent with a violet hue. “A Gate!” cheered Rainbow Dash.
“EEP!” Twilight Sparkle yelped in surprise as Pinkie Pie invited herself into the unicorn’s saddlebags, face first. Pulling back, she extracted the Gate Key gently between her teeth. “Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?”
“Opening the Gate, silly!”
“We can’t just jump into a random Gate!” gasped Twilight Sparkle. “We have no idea where this will take us. That’s completely irrational!”
“So what? Any place is better than here! This place stinks!”
“Hmm...” Rainbow Dash was lost in thought.
“Rainbow? You can’t actually be considering jumping into that Gate? Think this through!”
“Dashie, c’mon! This is the time for doing, not thinking, y’know?”
After a brief pause, Rainbow Dash opened her mouth. “How come Pinkie can talk totally fine with the Gate Key in her mouth, while Twi sounded like her mouth was full of peanut butter?”
Twilight Sparkle stared blankly at her friend, as she felt a small headache coming. She had no words.
“Princess Pinkamena!”
The friends jumped in shock. The soldiers who had been giving chase had finally reached the clearing, and proceeded to block the last remaining exit with weapons drawn. Following closely behind, Chancellor Scratch pushed her way to the front of the pack.
“Enough...” panted Chancellor Scratch, “is enough. Step away... from Rainbow Ass... and Twilight Shittle... and get back in the castle... you stupid, spoiled brat. Last time that I’ll ask politely.”
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash stomped defiantly toward the Chancellor. “Say what you want to me, but you do not talk to my friends like that and get away with it!” She reached behind to brandish her katana.
Chancellor Scratch grinned smugly. Her guards spread away from her, slowly beginning to encircle the three ponies.
Twilight Sparkle’s eyes went wide. Oh no! Rainbow is playing right into the Chancellor’s hooves! We won’t stand a chance against these many soldiers... Urggh! No other choice! “Pinkie! Do it!” Charging up to her friend, she bit Rainbow Dash’s tail and pulled sharply. Caught off-guard, Rainbow Dash flew off her hooves, landing on her belly with a thud.
Excitedly, Pinkie Pie hopped up onto her rear hooves. With a spin and a flourish, she waved the Gate Key in front of the distortion. On cue, the air of the clearing tore apart, engulfed by an oscillating Gate. Pinkie Pie giddily leapt into the swirling portal, quickly followed by Twilight Sparkle, and lastly Rainbow Dash, being roughly dragged along the ground. With all three friends safely within the Gate, it twisted and sealed behind them, whisking them out of the present.
The soldiers were spooked, and began murmuring to each other. Nervously, they turned to Chancellor Scratch for guidance. The unicorn’s red eyes dilated in bewilderment, and her jaw dropped. “What in the world...” she quietly uttered.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
???
Unknown Room
“Yeowch!”
The three friends landed painfully in a pile, as they fell out of the other end of the Gate. With a loud ripping sound, the wormhole sealed behind them, reverting back to its natural subdued state.
Pinkie Pie sproinged to her hooves, shaking the dust from her back. “Whee! Those Gate rides are so fun. Feels like you’re falling and tumbling and zooming!”
“More importantly,” Rainbow Dash shook her head, recovering from the landing, “that jerk of a Chancellor won’t be able to follow us here.”
“That’s just it, though. Where is this place?” Twilight Sparkle walked forward to a large door, prominently centered along the far wall of the room they had arrived in. The door was emblazoned with a large golden icon that the trio didn’t recognize, surrounded by fluctuating blue lights. “And when is this? The civilization here seems so... advanced.”
Pinkie Pie approached the door, solemnly taking in its mystery. “Like we’re in another world...”
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This is beyond brilliant, this is frekin AMAZING^^
Absolute Genius!
Fantastic if i say so my self
Seriously, make more of these :P Every time I go on the google docs for this one, there's always at LEAST 5 people. When i first read it (4 days after it appeared on EQDaily) I still saw 40-so other people reading it (according to the viewer tracker on google docs) at the same time. It was awesome. Seriously, can't wait for the next one :D
Hoping there IS a next one... It'd be a shame for such a brilliant work to go wasted. This is without a shadow of the doubt the most I've enjoyed any fic yet.
Please continue!!! I never saw anyone wrote Rainbow as a katana, knowing that she uses one too makes me feel 20% cooler!!!!!!!
I don't care how you described it, the Dragon Tank looks like Crackle in my head.
Wait....flametrhower.....incomprehensile talking....hmmp-hmp...PYRO!!
Rainbow Dash: asking the important questions about love, life and why the heck ponies can't talk with their mouths full. Or at least one of them.
Forgot to comment on this last time, but nice foreshadowing with Twilight and why certain events are happening, even as they shouldn't...
Very good! Future, ho!
I am still bugged that I can't find out what Twilight was saying...a cheesy one-liner maybe?
Oh well, that's a mystery I'll never solve.
Silver out!
Stupid guard. When two female convicts start attacking each other, you do not step in to break them up. You call the other guards over and sell tickets.
I never did understand how the Chancellor got away with the whole false execution thing. When Chrono escaped, shouldn't one of the first questions asked have been why someone declared not guilty and only sentenced to three days imprisonment bother with escaping such a short term? And wouldn't the first person to ask those types of questions to be the warden, who would be like, "Wait, three days imprisonment? I was told it was three days until execution!" Which would inevitably trace back to the Chancellor, who would get in big trouble, and possibly fired and brought up on charges himself. This makes me think that the canon trial ending is the one where Chrono loses.
2062085 I've played through the trial three times, one after having eaten the guy's lunch, picked up the necklace before the princess, and without helping fond the little girl's cat. The second time I didn't eat the lunch, I found the cat, and I helped the princess up before picking up the necklace, but I was still found guilty. The third time, I did everything to look good (find cat, leave food alone, help up Marle before picking up necklace) first, and then waited a while to see if Marle would decide on her preference of candy without me dragging her away, and... I can't remember if that works or not. Huh.
4144664 Watch a few Let's Plays of this game, those guys tend to always go for the Not Guilty verdict (because it nets you the best rewards). HCBailly is definitely one of the most comprehensive. But, yeah, if you're declared Not Guilty, the judge decides he doesn't like how you look, or I mean, she still followed you and disappeared, so you still have to be punished somehow, so you get sent to prison to be held for three days, but the Chancellor still tries to get you executed.
2062085
Because the king is ridiculously weak and pathetic and probably doesn't even know what the hell is going on, and is most likely a complete drunkard. The chancellor (spoiler: Yakra, yet again) is the guy that's going to investigate (or at least, the guy that picks who investigates), and really, it's not like you aren't going to suppress all the evidence you want when you're the guy investigating your own crimes. Hell, the troops listen to the chancellor over the royal family. Somewhere between 600AD and 1000AD, one of pinkies ancestors gave away pretty much all their authority for the chancellor to even have a hope in hell of getting away with arresting the guy that just escorted the princess to the castle for kidnapping her over the princesses own vocal objections.
4144664
That last one with the necklace I didn't know that could be done in reverse order.