Twilight's Golden Age

by Bitpull

There Will Come A Reckoning! --Er!

First through the door was a human. Male, adult, and in a full dress suit, down to (up to?) a silk top hat.

I hope he isn't expecting me to marry him, Twilight thought, keeping her face steady and her gaze unwavering.

The human checked himself, then turned to someone behind him. "They're not here, Chipper!" A young boy in street clothes appeared beside him. "Nothing here but a couple of stuffed animals!"

"Stuffed animals! Well, I like that!" said Twilight, breaking her poker face. Behind her, a groggy Snoopy raised his head.

"Gah!" said Mister Tuxedo.

"It talks!" said the boy.

"Yes, I talk," said Twilight, "And right now I'd like to know who you are and what you're doing here."

"Um… We're here looking for Twilght," the adult began.

"And Snoopy," added the boy.

"Yes?"

"So where are they?"

"Right here."

Slight pause.

"No, no, we came here expecting to find Twilight and Snoopy."

"And you've found them. I am Twilight, and this.." she swept her hoof towards him… "is Snoopy." The dog responded with a deep bow.

The man and Chipper looked at Twilight, then each other, and fell into a huddle.

"This is nuts! Are you sure this is the right address?"

"Positive! Here, let me try something."

The boy came up to Twilight, pulling something from his back pocket. Twilight recognized it as a comic book. Don't tell me we're in one of those again…

"See, the Twilight and Snoopy we know fight crime! Here's what they look like," and he opened the comic to a splash page with "TWILIGHT" in big red letters. Twilight (the pony) spared a passing glance for the comic-book Twilight – with his pointy-eared cowl, he looked a lot like one of Spike's favorite four-color heroes – fastening instead on the words, "Sergeant Terry Gardner of the Marines…" One part of her mind connected "Marines" with the "M" in "USMC"; the rest was recalling the conventions of comic books, especially secret identities.

To give herself time to process all this, she looked at the cover of the comic. "Clue Comics?"

"That's right," said Chipper. His eyes took on a glaze and he seemed to look somewhere Twilight couldn't discern. "Remember, kids, Clue Comics are the ones for YOU comics! Get your copies today!"

Twilight might have called him out on that behavior but it reminded her very strongly of a pink tornado in pony form. She turned back to the Twilight story. Apparently this "Twilight" was a costumed human, and "Snoopy" a multicolored parrot. And as promised, they indeed fought crime.

"I think I know what may have happened," she began. "This is the hotel room belonging to your Twilight. Someone cast a spell causing us to switch places, latching onto myself and Snoopy simply because we have the same names."

The man in the monkey suit got back in the conversation. "Who could have done that?"

"No idea. The only real indication of magic I've found is that matchbook. Be careful!" she warned the human, who had stepped to the desk and was looking the matchbook over. "It's got come unusual writing inside the cover! It could be a sigil of sorts!"

"Sigil?" He opened the cover. "Why, this is Pittman Shorthand!"

"...Can you read it?"

"Like a native! Let's see now…

Blood of a virgin

Midnight sacrifice

Madame Juju

"Well, that clears that up!" He put the matchbook in his inside pocket.

The gears were turning in Twilight's head. "Okay, I think I've got it. This world's Twilight investigated this Madame Juju's place, taking notes, but he didn't go unobserved. For whatever reason Madame Juju decided not to confront him then and there but instead set a displacement spell on him. The spell could run automatically; once it had enough power it would switch Twilight and Snoopy with whomever it chose, and it chose us simply on the basis of our names! In fact…" She opened the outer door with her magic and trotted outside.

The hotel turned out to be one of those newfangled motor courts, all one story with parking spaces in front of the rooms. Twilight ran out, scanning the night sky.

"There!" she pointed. "See? The evening star! I'll bet anything that's what triggered the spell!"

Whatever her human acquaintances might've said was lost in the full-throated scream coming off to her right. She turned to see a mature female human protecting her young.

"It's some kind of monster! Hurry, kids, get inside!"

"No, wait, I'm no monster…" she said to a slamming door. "Just a pony…"

The man in the formal outfit came up behind her. "I don't think they're listening. Kinda think we should get going."

Twilight drew herself up. "You're right! We need to confront this Madame Juju and get everypo– everyone back where they belong! Let's get going, Mister..."

"I'm the Reckoner."

Seriously? Twilight didn't say. Aloud, she called, "Let's go, Snoopy!" dragging a very surprised beagle along with her magic. The Reckoner led them to an empty taxicab and they were off.

Author's Note:

And there it is. This may very well be the most obscure crossover ever.

I came across Golden Age Twilight and Snoopy, as well as The Reckoner and Chipper, in a compilation of public domain comics called Pure Excitement Comics.

A chance to pair our favorite by-the-book pony with a free-sprited beagle? A cabdriver who considers it enough of a disguise to wear a tuxedo? (Class conscious much?) There was no way I could leave something like that alone.

Twilight Sparkle is owned by Hasbro, Snoopy by the Schulz estate, and the golden agers are apparently in the public domain.