• Member Since 16th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen April 8th

ThePristineEye


I exist, I do things.

T

Parkcent is blind and far past his prime. With all his experience and inability to use it in his state he spends the majority of his time striking up conversations with bar-mates and giving them advice. A mare walks into a bar and sits next to him and when he finds out that she's in a rather gloomy mood he begins to do what he does best.

Chapters (0)
Comments ( 6 )

Yeah, there's quite a few errors in this. :twilightsheepish:

Chin up, though, and don't let anything discourage you from pouring your all into this. :twilightsmile:

i liked it
the pacing was nice and the concept was new to me
well done

5543168 My English skills have dwindled significantly since I dropped outta high school, but I assure you this is no reason for my discouragement. I simply need some practice.

5544017 I'm glad you liked it. I'd be lying to myself if i said there wasn't room for improvement though. So what I'm saying is, tell me that this story sucks balls so that my next one is better.

5546750 I wouldn't say it sucks balls. The story itself is decent, but the execution leaves much to be desired. Practice makes perfect, of course, and hey, there's plenty of groups here on fimfiction dedicated to teaching new writers about basic writing skills, grammar, spelling and the like, such as the School for New Writers. Check them out and hopefully you'll end up bettering your writing skills. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by ThePristineEye deleted May 14th, 2017