This story is a sequel to One Friend
Princess Luna pays Twilight a visit.
Now with a reading, courtesy of PresentPerfect!
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 6th Nov, 2012
- offline last seen Nov 18th, 2021
ArgonMatrix
I've never seen a place that's quite like this. Everything is turned around; this crazy world is upside down.
ArgonMatrix
Joined 6th Nov, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- ArgonMatrix · 2.4k words · 214 5 · 5.5k views
- ArgonMatrix · 2.6k words · 263 3 · 5.9k views
- ArgonMatrix · 1.3k words · 412 7 · 7.5k views
- Karrakaz · 1.3k words · 140 4 · 2.6k views
- Loganberry · 3.3k words · 73 2 · 1.3k views
- Obsequiosity · 3.6k words · 172 4 · 6.2k views
- Eyeswirl the Weirded · 3.5k words · 186 4 · 4.1k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.144 seconds
Total duration
913 users online
473,125 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This series keeps getting better and better... and darker.
Dreams may be fantastical, this is true. But they can also reflect real fears and emotions. That's what makes nightmares like the one Twilight is suffering through so, potent.
I gotta say, this "One" series is a great, compelling analysis on Equestrian princehood. This really feels like an actual dilemma Twilight would find herself facing. Her magical prowess has been increased tenfold, if not more. Of course having that much power would be a daunting thought. We know she'd never use her magic in such a way, but the fact remains that she could. That's what frightens her. And that, my friend, is how you write Twilight transitioning into her new role as an alicorn princess without being pretentious.
Masterfully done, as always.
5956113
THIS IS IN A SERIES?
Why haven't you combined these stories into one? I mean, they aren't one shots.
The entire of the series certainly has been engaging, Arg, but I fear you may have shot yourself in the foot by releasing it episodically like this. The narrative begs to be told in one story. In any case, it certainly holds up to your usual high standard of grammar and mechanics. I'm a little sad that we didn't get to hear Twilight's apology to Spike but you know my bias.
5957700
Truth be told, I think you're right. I'm just not quite sure how to go about fixing it. One Night started out as a one-shot, and One Morning was a natural follow-up for me, but a grander narrative struck me at some point after that. I couldn't figure out how to reconcile it all into a single story, so I started doing it episodically like this. I'm not quite sure how I'd go about meshing it all together in one story now, especially given the dissonant narrative styles (One Morning being first-person present tense, One Friend being all-dialogue, and the other two being more traditional third-person). All in all, I've pretty much created a problem that I have no idea how to fix. Glad you're enjoying the story regardless, though!
I rarely get a bad feeling in my gut when reading a story, but this one does the trick. The whole thing is eerie and twisted and dark... but the final lines with Celestia's reaction is what sealed it. Very well done.
Looking forward to more, episode or whole story wise.
I don't think it would be a problem to have chapters told from different narrative perspectives by the way. Adds its own dynamic if the switches are done methodically.
5958791 The problem's not the perspective, switching perspectives is common, but they're written in different tenses, and one of them is dialogue-only, that's the problem.
These seem more like chapters of one story than stand-alone one shots to me. If I hadn't read the other ones already I would have no idea what was going on, and they seem to have a pretty consistent progression of events.
So Cadence is drowning in blood in her dreams, powerless, and Twilight lies in the ashes of a home she burned down herself because she has too much power. And now Luna, the world's foremost expert on dreams, says there's something sinister going on. That line where she said something like "Dreams are full of discord," caught my eye too. Is he really as reformed as we think in this world?
Why do I get the feeling that something is going to go wrong when Luna tries to stop the nightmare?
Aaargh, body horror.
Anyone else feel bad for Spike? Just me... Alright.
Up to date on the whole series now, i feel like all of this should be one story, but this works i suppose. Anyways, this is great!
Can't wait for the next one!
5957763
As I see it, the story really starts here anyway. This is where it goes from being simple nightmare spurred on by Twilight's (and I suppose Cadance's) ascensions and individual fears of losing all they love. Fear of being alone.
This story brings new light to what these dreams mean, so while it is indeed an interesting problem you've wrote yourself into, you can still go on with a longer narrative from here in one single story. At least, that's how I see it.
But I'll be behind this story no matter what you do, so do what you see fit.
I knew she wouldn't dismember her own horn. That's like someone cutting off their own hand; no one really wants to do that. But this confirms my suspicions that I've has over these stories. These nightmares are too . . . specific. They're beyond terrifying, and they play on certain fears that seem to be way overplayed for how truly terrifying the fears are. Sure, loving forever, being a princess, and being afraid of your own power are things that can spawn nightmares, but Twilight was planted with ideas that do not fit her character at all. Not in a million years should she think she's capable of doing such terrible things as banishing Luna and Celestia, killing Rarity, and destroying the Elements.
So the question now is who is causing this? And I'm pretty stumped at who it could be. This seems to be before Tirek, so maybe it's Tirek? I don't know, but I know we'll soon see.
This is, as Luna says, disturbing. One of Equestria's princesses is so terrified of her own power that she's suffering bed-wetting nightmares. She can't be a responsible ruler if she not only fails to believe in her ability to live up to the responsibility, but also fears she'll abuse it.
You should've cut about 90% of Spike's content. He's almost completely pointless, slows everything down, and distracts from the important things that were going on between Twilight and Luna.
Dangit, Argo! I don't follow many writers, but you've got me hooked here...I gotta see what happens next
, have a follow.
Oh gosh, this was so nice! Twi, Luna and Spike were all wonderful here!
Alright. You have my attention...
May I suggest you put all of the pieces of this story into one, listing them as chapters? It'd certainly make it easier to track and follow along with. In the meantime, I'll be certainly watching for the next addition. It's very good.
5964145
I'm currently in the process of doing exactly this, actually! I need to update the narrative styles of One Morning and One Friend first though because having one chapter randomly jump to first-person present tense or an all-dialogue narrative would be rather jarring.
5964162
True that, but it's not all bad as is either. Nevertheless, I know it'll turn out good when you've got it pieced together. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter of this.
5956612 http://www.fimfiction.net/story/135359/one-night
5964633
I should probably read them, but I'm not gonna.
5964162
Something you could do to keep the flow of each story going would be to wright each characters point of view in the same way they were in their one shots. So when Cadence is the point of reference have it all dialog and when Luna is have it 3rd person and so on. Just an idea If you wanted to keep true to the style of writing made.
Kind of wish you released these as a series of chapters.
Chilling... you definitely pulled off the "dark" trope without actual violence. Nice work!
Well, I'm bricking it right about now, I won't lie.
"So it might be that a pony wielding this kind of power might make these things come to be. So given such might they would be able to destroy Equestria. But it's not a random pony wielding it; it's you, Twilight Sparkle. Tell me one thing, if given a chance, would you make this dream come true?"
"...No! Of course not!"
"Then don't. And that's all that is needed. You are a good pony who would never do these kinds of things. You are the guiding power behind that power, so why, for whatever reason would you ever want to use it that way? This dream is ridiculous, not because technically these things are impossible, but because it suggests you, of all ponies would ever try to cause them. It's outright silly. You, the wonderful, loyal, faithful friend, turning on us? The idea is completely ludicrous."
This series is amazing, and I feel it uses fear really well. Twilight is afraid to talk about what she saw. Rarity is afraid to talk about how it affected her. Luna is afraid to tell her how much this really worries her, as is Celestia with Luna. Everyone is concerned about this, but none of them want to let on just how worried they are, because they don't want to make them more afraid then they already are.
Also, the dream itself feels concerning to me, it just doesn't feel right, Rarity being one of the most noticeable - if it really is just due to her being worried about her power and what she's capable of, then why is Rarity different from her other friends? On top of that, why is it that when things are different and she tries to take control of the dream that her magic overloads? That, combined with Celestia's reaction make's it hard to dismiss as a coincidence for me.
I'll definitely be interesting in seeing more of this and where things go from here.
5964162 What's the progress of the rewrite? Is the next chapter in the works yet?
Here you go!
great story!
*materializes from the past*
WHAT YEAR IS IT?!
DOES “ONE DAY” HAVE A SEQUEL?!