Get to know your surroundings {Shimmerverse}
"Soooo, where are we going anyway?" Dash asked Stonewall.
“Nowhere really special, miss.” Stonewall said, keeping his posture and wingbeats up to beat with that of a soldier. “Just a small cafe.”
"Huh." Dash said, idly noting she only needed to flap once for every five Stonewall did, yet they had the same speed. Interesting. "The place got a name? I might know it from the other side."
“Mocha’s cafe,” Stonewall said. “A little family owned business.”
"Sorry, don't know that one." Dash said, shrugging. "Might be there and I just never visited."
“Happens, miss.” Stonewall said. His gaze flickered over the town. “I think I see it now.” With that said, he angled himself towards the ground.
Rainbow lazily followed in a spiral glide, literally flying circles around him as they descended.
Stonewall rolled his eyes as he touched down. “Right this way, miss.” He trotted over to the little cafe. It looked like any old mundane cafe one would see. Several outside chairs and tables were set up in open areas around the place. Some of the locals eyed Rainbow with curiosity or were just plain weirded out by her feathery coverage.
"Huh, so you come here often?" Rainbow asked, making idle conversation as she walked along, her hoof falls making barely a whisper despite the fact that she was clearly walking normally.
“Sure do,” Stonewall nodded. “It’s nice and quiet. Gives me a little breather when I have a stressful day.”
"Cool. So, got any recommendations?" she asked, glancing around to see if there were any potential threats around. Sure, she was in town, but she was a pegasus. Some instincts just don't go away.
“I’d try Mocha’s latte. That and maybe a bit of her rosebud salad. It hits the spot quite nicely, miss.” Stonewall said, glancing at her. He noticed her glances and frowned. “Don’t worry. The town’s protected. Nothing’s going to harm you, miss Dash. Not when I’m here.”
Dash snorted. "I appreciate the thought, but I fought Nightmare Moon one on one. Anything that can threaten me is out of your league. I'm not really nervous, it's just instinct. What, you guys didn't get it hard wired in your brains to look around all the time in unfamiliar territory?"
“Not pegasi,” Stonewall said. “You’re thinking of the other tribes. We’re more predators, so we’re not as antsy.”
"Ah, right, fangs." Dash said. "I think there's a free table there." She pointed it out with her wing.
“Good eyes, miss.” Stonewall pivoted on his hooves towards the table and marched. He then walked over and pulled out a chair, bowing his head.
"Thank you Private." Dash said, taking her seat. She then glanced around, frowning. "Ah, no menus."
“They’ll be brought out when our waiter comes over,” Stonewall said, taking his own seat once he was sure she was comfortable. “He’s a bit stuffy, but he’s not that bad.”
"That's good." Dash said, and set to waiting patiently...and now she's bored. Well, some chit chat would probably take care of that. "So, Stonewall, what is there to do for fun in this Ponyville?"
“Well, what do you like to do, miss Dash?” Stonewall asked. He cocked his head curiously, like a bird would. “I believe I can find what you’re looking for. It is a big town.”
"I like doing cool stuff." Dash explained. "Sometimes I like to mix it up and do something radical instead, but mostly I do cool stuff."
“Hmm, that sounds a lot like miss Lightning Dust,” Stonewall tapped his chin. “Let’s see...Hmm, well there is...Hmmm, usually I just practice drills and my firing aim. I’m probably the best shot with a musket, but that’s probably not cool for others.” His wings fidgeted as he tried to think of something. “Anything to help narrow it down?”
"Actually, seeing how those musket things work might be cool." Dash said. "Cause right now, all I get about them is 'metal tube on stick'. Not very scary for a weapon."
“You’d think that,” Stonewall chuckled. “But when you can take down an enemy several yards away with just one bullet, you get to thinking differently.”
"I can throw tornadoes. It's a little hard to impress me." Dash pointed out. "I'm sure it's still cool and all, but I'm just a hard act to follow."
Stonewall frowned, pinning his ears back. “Sorry, ma’am. Never really was that much in weather manipulation, so can’t say I can top a tornado.”
Dash rubbed the back of her head. "Aw, don't feel bad. Not many ponies are as awesome as me. Plus, I'm a Captain in the Weather Patrol. I have to know my weather stuff, y a know?"
Stonewall nodded, before looking at her queerly. “Captain of a Weather Patrol? Ma’am you’re as young as I. How did that happen?” He then conked his noggin. “Right, national hero and all that."
"Actually, you said you were fourteen. I'm thirteen. As to how I got the job, it was way before that." Dash said. "I've actually had to turn down a couple of promotions that tried to make me a desk jockey. Which totally misses how I got the job in the first place. I'm technically able to do the work of an entire weather team with my speed...as long as its not precision work, but those jobs are supposed to take time. So I mostly handle the bulk jobs while my team does the finer stuff. We usually wind up turning a full days hard work into 'off after lunch'."
“Most impressive, ma’am.” Stonewall smiled. “Your parents must be proud of you.”
"...yeah. Man, what's taking that waiter so long?" Dash asked, looking around.
“He likes to take his time,” Stonewall glance at the well manicured, mustachioed, Earth Pony waiter coming there way. “And there he is.”
"About time, I'm starving." Dash muttered.
“May I take your order?” The earth pony asked. He took out a little booklet from his breast pocket. His voice was stuffy, like you’d imagine a waiter to be.
“I’ll have a daisy sandwich and a glass of water,” Stonewall spoke up. “I’m not really hungry right now.”
“Very well,” the waiter said. “And what will…..” his eyes widened when he looked at her. “Mister Stonewall, are you dating a mixer?”
"...I'll have a menu to read, it's my first time here." Dash said, trying her best not to attack the guy. He was just startled by her appearance, he didn't mean anything by it she was sure.
“Right…” the waiter shook his head and pulled out a menu with his tail from a small saddlebag. He then lent it out to her.
Reading over the menu, Dash noded. "Alright then, I'll take a daisy sandwich, an order of hay fries, a baked potato with cheese, an order of onion rings, and since Stonewall recommended it a rose salad. Oh, and a latte to drink. Extra cream and sugar."
The two stared at her for a couple of seconds, before the waiter glared at Stonewall. “Curious, a young mare asking for all that food.”
“Well yeah-” Stonewall started.
"Ponies ask for food when they are hungry. I would think you'd have figured that out by now with your job." Dash interrupted. She appreciated the guys gumption, but she was perfectly fine taking care of herself.
“Right you are, miss.” The waiter smiled at her then glared at Stonewall. “Shameful.” He shook his head and wrote down the items. “Your order will be right back and Private Stonewall? I’ll be sure to let your commander know about your expecting mare.” He turned and walked away.
Stonewall sputtered, blushing and unable to say anything to that.
Dash...fell out of her chair laughing. "He thinks what? Oh this will be hilarious."
“It’s not funny, Dash.” Stonewall snorted, looking really nervous. “What if ponies actually think I got you...you know.”
Dash, sitting back up, rolled her eyes. "I'm hardly going to be laying any eggs anytime soon."
“Well that’s….eggs?” Stonewall just stared at her.
"What, you guys don't come from eggs?" Dash asked. "You got a problem with eggs?"
“There’s nothing wrong with coming from eggs,” Stonewall said, feeling really nervous right then. “We just...don’t lay them here. Live birth and all.” He tapped his hooves, hoping she wouldn’t punch him or something.
"Yeah same with us." Dash said casually. She managed to keep a straight face for another five seconds before she started cracking up. "You are just too easy. Eggs? I'm still a freaking pony you know. Eggs, really? Hahahahaha!"
“I take it you like messing with me,” Stonewall grumbled.
"I mess with anypony that looks like they can take it." Dash excused, waving him off. "It's a sign of respect with me. Be glad you're not at the "lightning based prank" level of respect."
“Yeah,” Stonewall chuckled. “Wouldn’t want that.”
"But really, that guy." Dash shook her head. "Where does he get off making assumptions about that?"
“Well, it’s just that its rather...distasteful to have a child out of wedlock,” Stonewall said. “Hopefully, Thunderlane will straighten this out...and not send me to the griffin border by the end of this whole thing.”
"Eh, he tries anything I'll drop him off at the griffon's doorsteps personally." Dash said, shrugging.
“....Thank you,” Stonewall bowed his head after staring at her for a few seconds. “That is most appreciated. Though, I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”
"Eh, it's no big." Dash said, waving it off. "Element of Generosity, I help out ponies in need all the time. I'm sure the me here is just as awesome."
“She’s co-commander of the Wonderbolts for a reason,” Stonewall stated with much pride. “Rainbow Dash is one of Equestria’s greatest soldiers. Why, just the mention of her name sends enemies running for the hills.”
"Cool. Though she's probably pretty bored having to do all that managing while stuck in...Cloudsdale or Canterlot? I know the headquarters moved a couple times in our Bolt's history." Dash asked.
“The Bolts are a bright symbol for Cloudsdale,” Stonewall stated. “They would rather fight tooth and hoof before letting them go to Canterlot.”
"Yeah. It moved to Canterlot for a few years more than once due to politics back home, but the Bolt's always manage to get back to Cloudsdale. Just worried for a second my hometown might have gotten plucked here." Dash said. "So anyway I'm guessing as co-captain she doesn't see a lot of action."
“As Co-Captain, it’s her duty to lead from the front.” Stonewall said with much pride. “Unlike the other tribes, pegasi here hate to be kept out of the fight. It’s in our blood. Though she still is pulled back for politics and such occasionally. That and some shows here and there.”
"Huh." Dash said. "Our Bolts mostly do shows and stuff. Their the EUP's publicity engine, though they do go on missions and such."
“They were founded as an elite strike team here,” Stonewall said. “It’s just that over the years, they’ve been able to be a bit more laid back and perform. Ponies love seeing their heroes in action, after all.”
Dash nodded. "Yeah, that's why I want to be a Bolt, to inspire the next generation."
The waiter came back shortly afterwards, carrying a tray on his hoof. “Your food is ready.” He gently laid it on the table for them. “And Stonewall? Put a band on her, will you? I know pegasi can be rash, but at least think before you plunge.” He snorted and walked off.
Stonewall looked aghast and red as a tomato. “That’s not….” He groaned, laying his head on the table.
Dash just started digging into her food like a starving dog. "So...I take it pegasi don't eat as much here."
“Oh no,” Stonewall shook his head. “We do, it’s just that others….assume sometimes. It is an Earth town, remember?” He carefully chewed on his sandwich.
Dash snorted, finishing off her fries and onion rings together. "Look. That just makes the guy an idiot. Who cares what idiots think?"
“A lot of ponies,” Stonewall muttered through bites. “Not me, but still.”
"Liar." Dash noted, finishing off her potato (ever since she beat Nightmare Moon she'd found a love for the spuds). "If you didn't care what idiot's think, you wouldn't be worried about that waiter. Also, what did he mean "put a band on her"?"
“He was talking about wedding bands,” Stonewall explained, washing the sandwich down with some water. “To show that you were my intended.”
"...what does a bunch of musical instruments have to do with getting engaged? Is everypony in this world crazy?"
“No, wedding bands.” He held out a hoof. “You know, colored cloth around your foreleg. It has the cutie mark of your beloved stitched upon it.”
"Awww, that sounds adorable." Dash said. "We don't have anything like that back home. Courting pegasi give each other a feather plucked from over the heart, which we wear in our manes."
“Well, I apologize for the lack of heart feathers.” Stonewall patted his chest and chuckled.
"And I apologize for my lack of sewing skills." Dash said in mock sorrow. "I guess it wasn't meant to be."
“Truly it is a tragedy,” Stonewall nodded. “I can feel my heart breaking even as we speak.”
Dash smirked as she finished off her rose salad (it really was quite good). "I so hope the waiter is overhearing this. The rumor mill is going to go crazy over what we've been saying."
“Yeah,” Stonewall chuckled. “I do have to admit, ma’am. It’s actually quite nice to chat with you. I don’t really have that many ponies my age to talk to really.”
"Yeah, same kind of deal. I'm a working mare below the legal drinking age, let alone adulthood, but I have a ranking position in a major career. I can't really interact with adults or kids my age quite right. Problem with being a prodigy." Dash said, sipping her latte.
“Being a low rank musketeer doesn’t help my standing either,” Stonewall said. “Pegasi prefer to hit things up close and personal, so most think I’m a bit of a coward since I just shoot my enemy from a distance.”
Dash snorted. "That's not being a coward, that's being smart. And...ah excuse me a second, bathroom." She got up. "I'll be right back."
Stonewall bowed his head, tipping his hat. “And I’ll be waiting, ma’am.”
Dash walked off. Several minutes later she had not come back.
Stonewall frowned. “Either she’s really had to go, or I just earned my own firing squad.” He waited a little longer and groaned. “Yep.” He then got up and headed for the restroom.
"Ah, there you are Stonewall." the waiter said. "I just thought you should know, your lady friend flew off in quite a hurry. Said something about Cloudsdale."
Stonewall was silent for a moment. “OH BUCKING FEATHERS!” He flew off...and then changed course. He was still in uniform, so he needed his musket first. Still, he’d catch up to her soon enough either way.
"Sir! You still need to pay for your food!" And with that said, a bag of bits fell at his hooves. “....pegasi.” He shook his head. After Stonewall was well out of sight, he knocked on the bathroom door. "He's gone madam."
Dash came out, smiling. "That'll teach him not to get me a band." Poor Stonewall, she'd warned him what impressing her meant.
"Indeed. Shameful, simply shameful." the waiter noted, shaking his head sadly.
****************
"Dash really should have been back by now. I'm starting to get worried." Sweetie noted.
“I’m sure she’s fine,” Spike walked into the room, carrying a tray full of orange smoothies. “Drink?” The locals took one politely nodding.
Twilight and Sweetie looked at the glasses, not sure what to do. "Well, um, do you have any long straws or something?" Twilight asked. It was rather embarrassing, not being able to pick up stuff.
“Oh dear,” Spike frowned. “My apologies.” He turned around, only for a couple to be magicked into the drinks.
“You are hopeless, little bro.” Sunset shook her head as she sipped her drink.
"Thank you." Sweetie said, sipping hers. "These are delightful. And I apologize for the burden we've been. Without our magic, we really are just causing you trouble."
“The fault is mine,” Spike bowed his head. “I was the one who forgot about your hooves. I am deeply sorry for that.”
"It's fine." Twilight said, waving it off with her tail. "You're not used to the idea. You grew up with everypony having multi segmented gecko hooves. Somepony with a different standard is going to throw you off."
“Yeah,” Sunset huffed. “But he’s flirted with enough sapiants to know better.”
“I do not flirt,” Spike corrected. “I merely entertain the fair sex. That is more than mere flirting, sis.”
"Well, flirting can be entertaining." Sweetie said, smiling. "Just as long as its me and my Lyra doing it."
"Yes yes yes." Twilight said, sipping her smoothie, then paused. "Huh, Sweetie does your smoothie taste a bit odd to you?"
Frowning, Sweetie takes a sip. "Hmmm, not really."
Twilight took another small sip, then flinched. "Yeah, I think something is wrong with mine."
“Spike!” Sunset scolded him. “What did you put in her drink?”
“Nothing!” Spike put his hands up. “It’s just the usual smoothie blend. The same as yours.”
"Maybe mine just got a bad bit or something." Twilight suggested. "Did you check the fruit before you blended it?"
“Yes,” Spike said. “There was nothing wrong with them. Geez, I even prayed over them for extra measure.”
Twilight blinked. "Huh...does that actually work here?"
“Surprisingly yes,” Sunset said. “Though most of the time it’s just tradition.”
"Hmmm, maybe something with the glass?" Twilight noted. "The straw? No, the straw is a construct, it shouldn't matter."
“Here let me see,” Sunset’s horn shimmered and a layer of magic enveloped Twilight’s drink. “Hmm, nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe your biology isn’t as accepting of it. I mean, it is an orange smoothie from another dimension.”
"If that was the problem, then now come Sweetie can enjoy hers?" Twilight pointed out. "We're both ponies, our biology isn't that different from each other."
“Then why does it taste different?” Sunset frowned and peered at Twilight. She looked her over. “I mean, you at least share similar DNA. Similar body construct. It just doesn’t add up….maybe your innate magic is affecting your taste buds?” Sunset didn’t seem so sure of that last answer. In fact, it seemed kind of stupid to her.
Twilight blinked a few times. "Princess Shimmer, you're a genius! It's due to my inability to process mana like normal! Unicorn taste buds evolved to let us know the mana potential of the food we ate. Since I don't have mana here, none of the food will help me generate mana...meaning everything will taste like lemon soaked alfalfa in vinegar. Great."
“Happy to help,” Sunset smirked. It was an amusing picture with Twilight’s predicament. “I’m sure we’ll restore your mana soon...or find a spell for your taste buds.”
"Probably going to need that spell your highness." Twilight noted. "My ability to sense mana has been screaming "empty, zero, none" for a while now, and that's just from me. The environment around me hasn't even been registering as existing to my mana sense. I don't think mana exists in this universe."
“If it doesn’t, then I’ll make it.” Sunset pondered how to do so. She was one of the most competent unicorns of all time, not to mention one of the most powerful. Surely she could synthesize this ‘mana’. “Until then, we’re just going to have to wait for my mom to show up.”
"Wonderful." Twilight said, pushing the smoothie away. "Sorry about that Spike. I do appreciate it, the underlying metaphysics of the universe just messed it up."
"Metaphysics? Wow, glad I missed the lame-o-thon." Dash said, walking in.
“Well if it isn’t Lightning 2.0,” Sunset snorted. “Where were you...and why don’t you have a guard with you? Thunderlane surely must have sent you with one.”
"Oh he did. Nice guy at first. I was hungry but didn't have any money, so he took me out to lunch. Then he ditched me while I was in the ladies room." Dash explained. "At least he remembered to pay."
“He is so getting deported to the griffin border,” Sunset grumbled. “Maybe a trip to that island the humans want so much...Eh, whatever. Just don’t go flying off like that again.”
Dash rolled her eyes. "Uhuh. Oh hey, smoothies! Can I have one?"
“As you wish, my lady.” Spike handed a smoothie delicately over to her.
Dash grabbed it with her wing. "Thanks." She took a sip. "MMMM, not bad."
“I do try,” Spike said.
Suddenly, the door burst open and several heavily armed guards poured in. When the guards got to their stations, weapons in heads, they stood at attention. In after them walked two individuals. One of them was a rather tall blue unicorn. She was as tall as a demi-Alicorn, being able to look Big Macintosh in the eye. Unlike most native unicorns, she had cloven hooves and a long leonin tail. While unicorns are naturally elegant, she was more so. She was clad in the usual dark gear of the Inquisition, hat and all.
The next one beside her, wearing a similar get up, minus the hat, was a black equine like creature. It’s crooked horn and insectoid wings stood out as did its chitinous skin. It’s eyes were segmented and blue, with only a fainter blue surface that twitched about to tell where the iris was.
“Well,” the unicorn’s prench evident in her voice. “Where are the visitors?”
Sunset sighed. “Twilight, Sweetie, Dash, meet Inquisitor Trixie de Lis.”
"...alright, let's pretend for a moment we don't know what an inquisitor is." Dash said, going slowly like she was talking to a child.
“You, feathered one.” Trixie walked up to her. “You do not know the glory of the Inquisition?”
"Nope." Dash answered with a shrug. "You got any ideas guys?"
"Well," Twilight said, stroking her chin, "it sounds derivative of the word 'inquisitive', so researchers or detectives of some sort is my best guess."
Trixie blinked in confusion as she looked at Twilight. She didn’t say anything. She simply stood and stared at her like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
“To answer your question,” Redheart piped up. “Celestia’s Holy Inquisition, of the CHI, are in charge of keeping the moral of both citizens and soldiers, while also searching for any signs of heresy and treachery.”
"Ah, so detectives." Twilight noted, turning to face the inquisitor, surprised to find that her eyes were level with the other mare's muzzle. As a fully grown unicorn, she was used to being one of the tallest ponies in the room by a good bit. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."
“...Trixie de Lis,” Trixie said. “Ma deesse,” She slipped into her native tongue. “Vous regardez comme moi.”
"En effet je fais." Twilight responded. "Mas excuses que ma portée du prançais est pauvre."
Trixie frowned. “You’re skills are lacking,” she snorted. “New comer, do us, noble blooded hybrids a bit of justice in getting our fair tongue correct in the future.” Still she smiled. “Still, it is good to see more of us, no?” She put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder and kissed both of her cheeks lightly in a common friendly Prench greeting.
"Um, uh..." Twilight wasn't sure what to say to that. Only her knowledge of foreign customs kept her from freaking out over the kissing. "Sorry about the bad Prench. I haven't had many chances to practice it."
“Why?” Trixie looked confused. “Were you not taught? Ce est terrible.”
"Um...Princess Sunset, a little help please?" Twilight asked. This was just getting more and more awkward.
“Trixie,” Sunset barked with her more ‘Princess’ voice. “She is one of the visitors. Cease your inane action now.”
Trixie’s ears flattered against her skull. “Oh...she is not like me?” she cleared her throat, getting rid of the air of sadness. “Of course, for their is only one Trixie de Lis...and her brother.”
"I'm sorry to disappoint you." Twilight said. "I was hoping for a way to let you down easy, I am sorry my presence got your hopes up, that wasn't my intention."
“Perhaps,” Trixie huffed. “Be is as it may, you are an outsider. I, a loyal member of Celestia Holy Inquisition, must judge you before you see our eternal goddess, may her rule forever continue.”
Twilight blinked a couple of times. "Um, your highness, you did include some information about us in your message right?"
“I had no time for letters,” Trixie huffed. She gestured dramatically to her chest, making her cape wave behind her. “I am a mare of action. I must secure the safety of our blessed sovereign.”
"Question." Dash asked, raising her hoof like this was a school. "If Princess Celestia is so awesome, what do you think we could do against her?"
Trixie had magicked her sword out of its sheath and held it at Dash’s throat the moment she said that. “You would die before you ever saw her.”
“No one is dying here,” Sunset said. “Dash, say you’re sorry.”
"For what? Saying that Princess Celestia is too awesome for us to ever be a threat to her?" Dash asked. "Also, what is with you ponies and drawing swords while making grand declarations?"
“I am Trixie de Lis!” Trixie declared. “Member of one of the holiest branches in Celestia’s service. Through my actions, millions live to see another day! My words can be the difference between your further existence and a firing squad.”
“Trixie!” Sunset barked, getting in between them. “No firing squad! They are my guests and will be treated with respect. Do you understand my order?”
“Of course, Your Majesty.” Trixie put her magic up and stood at attention. “I live to serve.”
"Oh thank goodness she's Twilight levels loyal." Sweetie said, breathing a sigh of relief. "That could have gone badly."
“Things tend to spiral down a lot with her,” the equine creature spoke up. It’s voice sounded odd, like it had an echo to it.
“Spiral down the throats of my enemies!” Trixie declared, brandishing her sword once again in flourish.
"That's a lovely picture." Dash said, grimacing.
“Yes,” the creature stepped forward. It held itself like a predator would, staring down its prey. “She loves to pain such beautiful pictures.”
Trixie blushed. “You flatterer.” She turned to the others. “This is my assistant, Dot. Dot, these are the newcomers.”
Dot’s snout flared. “They taste just like normal ponies, so I don’t think we’ll have any problems.”
"Taste like...aw jeeze you're one of those Changeling things aren't you?" Dash groaned. "The only thing keeping me from kicking your flank is my good mood, so stop trying to eat it."
“Can’t help that, love.” Dot grinned. “I’m an emotion eater. Or perhaps I should turn to a more...primal source of nutrients.” He grinned, showing off rows upon rows of teeth made for slashing and cutting flesh.
"Huh, you know unless you mostly eat thing much smaller than you mostly whole, that is a terrible set of teeth to have." Twilight noted. "You can't really chew with a set like that, and your bodily physical structure doesn't allow you proper thrash rending capabilities, especially with your thin weak neck."
“Then I’ll show you what my ancestors did to yours,” Dot growled.
“Dot,” Trixie nickered and used her magic to pull his ear to get him to her side. “Stop picking on the newcomers.”
“Yes Inquisitor,” Dot huffed.
“That’s better,” Trixie nuzzled the top of his head.
"Also, just FYI, not a very good threat." Dash pointed out. "Our ancestors never dealt with changelings."
Twilight responded to Dash's comment with a smack of her tail. "Rainbow Dash, do not taunt the predator."
“Yes, don’t.” Trixie frowned. “Dot is a tamed changeling. There are many feral groups still around who would love nothing then to devour you...alive. That way, they can suck out as much love and energy as they can while stuffing their faces. Of course, they mostly just cocoon victims like energy batteries. Dreadful business.”
"....ew." Dash summed up the visitors' thoughts on the matter quite succinctly.
“Yeah,” Redheart said. “But it should be known that we started the conflict just because of how they looked and acted. It’s...sad really. A lot of it could have been prevented.”
“But that’s then,” Trixie said. “This is now.” She pointed her sword at the group. “The truth will be known!”
“We already know the truth,” Sunset deadpanned.
“TO ME!” Trixie shouted. “For I am, Trixie de Lis,” she used her sword to write her name in the air with a flourish of magical fire. “Blessed warrior of our goddess.”
"Okay seriously, does any of us know her equivalent in our world?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah, our Trixie is pretty cool. She's a traveling magician." Dash explains.
Twilight blinked a couple of times. "Really? Like Presto?"
"I guess." Dash said shrugging.
"When was this?" Twilight asked.
"It happened when you and Sunset were out of town at the time..." Sweetie started to explain.
“There is a Trixie in your world?” Trixie beamed. “Magnifique! What am I, Inquisitor Trixie de Lis, holy warrior of the sun, like over there?”
"Pretty popular traveling show mare." Dash said. "You seriously put on a good show. The audience loves ya. You've got fans all over Equestria."
“Of course I do,” Trixie beamed. “I am Trixie!” She posed triumphantly.
“Please stop stroking her ego,” Dot groaned. “She’ll be like this all day.”
“You know you love it,” Trixie giggled.
Sweetie nudge forward her empty glass with a hoof. "Thank you Spike, that was delicious."
“You’re welcome,” Spike smiled and then looked to Trixie. “May I have the honor of getting her esteemed self a drink?”
Trixie blushed at his smile, which caused Dot to growl to himself. “Of course, Princes Spike,” she bowed. “I would be oh so honored to be served by the son of Celestia.”
Spike bowed his head back and left the room.
"You know, you could just give her mine." Twilight pointed out. "I only took two sips with a straw and it would be faster."
“Normally I would scoff at that,” Trixie huffed. “I am far too pure to drink from another’s glass. However, Prench or not, you are close enough.” She took the drink in her magic and floated it to herself.
Twilight blinked in disbelief. "Did, did she just say she only accepted a gesture of friendship because tribalism?"
Sunset groaned. “Don’t start. She is, how do I put it lightly...no, I’m gonna say it. She thinks she’s better than most because she’s half Prench.”
Trixie huffed as she drank, but didn’t say anything that would counter the daughter of her goddess.
Twilight and the others looked quite stunned at this. Sweetie spoke up. "And Princess Celestia allows that kind of behavior from her representative?"
“Oh hay no,” Sunset glared at Trixie. “She’s just so full of herself and thick headed.”
“Your Majesty,” Dot spoke up reverently. “She is right there.”
“Oh….” Sunset said and looked to Trixie. “You’re thick headed and an idiot.”
Trixie didn’t remark back, because she knew she couldn’t. She just twitched in nervousness as she drank.
"Sooo, may we see the Princess now?" Dash asked.
“If Princess Sunset wishes it,” Trixie grumbled. “Then it shall be so. I did wish to talk to you myself over it, but our Princess beat me to it.” She huffed. “Tribalist talk. I, Trixie de Lis, am above such things.”
"Wow, she refers to herself by name almost as much as Lyra." Dash noted.
“Do not mention that barbarians’ name to me,” Trixie huffed. “It is a mistake letting her into our blessed organization.”
“That isn’t a very nice thing to say,” Coco glared at Trixie.
"Indeed." Sweetie agreed. "Everypony, and everything really, deserves a fair chance to prove themselves."
“Trixie,” Sunset glared at the Inquisitor. “Where is Inquisitor Time Turner?”
“I sent him off,” Trixie stated. “I was the one to talk with the new comers, not he. Besides, Dot is a much better assistant.”
“Is that all I am to you?” Dot said in mock hurt. “An assistant? Oh how you wound me, my lady.”
Trixie laughed and tapped his muzzle with her hoof. “Quiet you. I am speaking.”
“Oh just fuck already,” Sunset groaned out. “Go somewhere else, I don’t care. This is all pointless. I’ve already spoke for them.”
“She’s right,” Redheart stated. “They are guest in our country and should be treated with dignity...and a watchful eye.” She glanced at Dash like a mother would a child. It was a habit she had ever since she started babysitting Lightning.
"Plus, Sweetie and I can't use our magic right now." Twilight noted. "We're less than 'not a threat' at this point."
"Also, Trixie and Dot, really?" Dash added. "That's just, ewwwww."
“Who’s the speciest now?” Trixie glared at Dash, flourishing her sword. “Say ‘ewww’ to Inquisitor Trixie once again?”
“Dot…” Sunset said, hoping he would step in.
“I have lived long enough to know never get in between two females,” Dot said.
"Well since you asked so ni-murph!" Dash was cut off as Twilight stuffed her hoof into a mouth for once.
"You'll have to forgive Dash, she's just a kid. Recently decided boys don't actually have cooties and all that. More...adult material is not going to be appealing to her." Twilight explained, only exaggerating a little.
“Well it’s appealing to some,” Trixie smirked, clicking her tongue. Her gaze shifted to Dot, before Dash. “Maybe one day you will know how to be a respectful grown up. I might consider telling you the ‘birds and the bees’.” She chuckled.
"Uh, how do birds and insects come into this?" Twilight asked, confused.
Everyone of the locals looked to Sweetie Drops with an unsaid question.
"...I don't know what you're saying either." she admitted.
Trixie groaned. “It means sex, the dancing of two bodies, the pleasures of the soul.” She explained.
“Even Coco knows what it means,” Sunset said, glancing at the young mare who was blushing and covering her face.
"But, what do birds and bees have to do with sex?" Twilight asked.
“............Because reasons.” Sunset said, after no one came up with an answer.
"Riiight." Sweetie said. When Sweetie Drops gets sarcastic, you've hit a low.
“SILENCE!” Trixie flashed her sword in the air. “Stop questioning things that don’t need to be questioned.”
“Well,” Dot started. “That often happens when you start talking.”
“The couch for you!” Trixie pointed her sword at him.
"Can we please just see Princess Celestia so things can start making sense again?" Twilight moaned.
Trixie opened her mouth before she was interrupted.
“HAIL PRINCESS CELESTIA, GODDESS ETERNAL!” A triumphant shout was heard from outside.
Trixie gasped and went into a deep bow. Her voice chimed in a prayer to the sun goddess.
The moment Celestia appeared in the doorway, everyone of the locals, except Sunset, took a deep bow. In unison, they started muttering little prayers to the sun goddess before them. While Celestia was concealing a majority of her aura, that much that was shown was great. It was soft and comforting, giving everypony a sense of calm and ease. She projected a sense of motherhood to the little ponies around and as a beacon against anything that could harm them.
Twilight spread her front legs wide and bowed her head so that her horn touched the ground. Dash leaned far forward, her wings held close to her body but flailed back. Sweetie bowed like the locals did, a cross universal constant.
“You may rise, my little ponies.” Princess Celestia’s gentle but firm tone spoke volumes of the care she felt for everyone.
With that said, they did as ordered. However, Trixie was a bit of a show off and flourished her cape and sword about as though she was a hero. Tucking it back into her sheath, she walked up to Celestia and bowed her head. “The visitors are clear, Your Majesty.”
“Your efforts are appreciated,” Celestia said. “But I do believe my daughter’s word is more than enough.”
“Of course…” Trixie moved away, keeping herself low and humble towards her monarch.
Celestia turned to the newcomers. “So, you are the ponies my daughter wrote to me about.” She walked up to them, standing tall and proud over the little ponies. “Pray tell, have you enjoyed your stay here so far? I do so hope my country has met your standards.”
"The ponies, and Spike of course, have been very kind your majesty." Twilight answered. "However, I do not know if your daughter's letter contained the fact that Sweetie Drops and mine own magic have been rendered inoperable within the laws of this reality's rules. It has greatly limited our ability to enjoy your nation beyond pleasant conversation."
“That is unfortunate,” Celestia frowned. “Rest assured, I will do everything in my power to help. You may not be native to this realm, but you still dwell within it regardless. For that matter, you will be treated as any and all beings shall be treated under my gaze: kindness and respect.”
Twilight smiled. "Thank you your grace. That is a very large weight off my mind. Without magic the unicorns of my world are...basically invalids."
“As long as I draw breath,” Celestia said with determination. “No citizen of my country will suffer such a fate. Your magic will return to you, young one. Have faith in that.”
"Of course." Twilight said. "No matter the reality, one constant is that Princess Celestia will do all she can to help those in need."
“I am thankful to hear that,” Celestia smiled in good mirth. “It would have soured the mood to find another me that is a blood-thirsty tyrant. I am thankful as well to know that she has ponies like you in her realm.”
"You honor me." Twilight said, bowing again.
“I shall do more than that,” Celestia put her hoof down gently under Twilight’s chin to lift her back up. “Until you are able to properly access your magic, I shall lend you a gift.” With that, Celestia touched her wing against Twilight’s chest. Instantly a golden glow spread throughout Twilight’s form, giving her strength and love. “With this, you now hold a piece of myself within you. You can now access the realm of magic as freely as any unicorn here. However, it will fade on it’s own, to be replaced with your own personal connection given time.”
"Princess Celestia, magic, me, from Princess." Twilight babbled. Thud.
Dash sighed. "Might want to warn you, Twilight's the Element of Loyalty, and like ninty percent of it is dedicated to our Celestia. This has probably totally blown her mind, having an actual piece of you in her...in a non-dirty way, bad brain!"
“I apologize if I overwhelmed her,” Celestia frowned, kneeling down to be at Twilight’s side. “That was not my intention, but perhaps I should have given some warning as to her gift.”
"It's fine your majesty." Sweetie assured the Alicorn. "Twilight has been rather excitable lately. She's a very orderly and organized mare. All the chaos and oddities have been very hard on her, it's not your fault."
"This is like,more third time fainting today." Dash chimed in. "...which is weird because she really doesn't do that back home."
“This is a lot to take in, Dash.” Celestia said. “Most ponies would be nervous wrecks in her shoes. It is a testament to her strength and yours that you are taking this so well.” She stood up and turned to Sweetie Drops. “And I take it you are without your magic as well, little pony?”
Sweetie Drops smiled. "Earth magic is subtle. Without it, I feel a bit weaker, a bit more tired. It's why I'm sitting and laying down so much. My main problem though is that earth tribals from my world use magic to manipulate things with our hooves. We did not evolve a physical ability to grasp things like your local ponies did I'm afraid."
“Then I shall grant you a gift of your own,” Celestia horn lit up and a green necklace with a blue gem in the middle, appeared around Sweetie's neck. She touched it with a wing, making it glow. “This necklace will give you the strength and magic of the Earth tribe. As such, the energies around you and that of the earth itself will give you strength and allow you to tap into your lost potential.”
"Thank you your majesty." Sweetie said, smiling. "This is a very thoughtful gift, and the color is lovely. It reminds me of my element, the green parts anyway."
“You are very welcome,” Celestia smiled and turned her gaze towards Rainbow Dash. “Ah the counterpart of one of my most esteemed warriors. Is there anything lost to which you need?”
"Uh, being perfectly honest Princess." Dash said nervously. "As much as I would love an ultra cool magical gift, I don't need one. Far as I can tell, everything's working great. Besides the fangs and the feathers, I guess the pegasi match enough that the universe is going "it's cool, let it pass" or something."
Celestia laughed, which was like hearing the actual tender touch of the sun’s warmth. “Yes, I can see that. If you need anything in the future, please don’t be afraid to ask myself or those who serve under the Equestrian banner.”
"Will do." Dash said, snapping off a salute. "So...ah, now that that's done...you got anything on how to get us back home and your guys back here?"
Celestia frowned. “The portal that took you from one world to another was complex. The magic involved was immense. It will be no simple feat. However, I perhaps might have some means back in Canterlot. Over the centuries, I have studied and collected many things from across the globe and even from worlds such as yours yet different. It stand to reason that the key to returning you home safely lies there.”
"Please let there be a World Mirror, please let there just be a World Mirror we just need to walk through and done." Dash begged the universe. Ironically, in the presence of one considered a goddess, Dash didn't even think to direct a prayer to her.
“We shall see, my little pony.” Celestia said, glancing over to Twilight. Delicately, she used her magic to put the unicorn on to her back. Celestia was big enough that she could easily carry Twilight with no problem and shield her body protectively with her wings. “Now, shall we proceed?”
"Are we teleporting?" Dash moaned. "Teleporting makes me queezy, and I just had a big lunch. Maybe I could just fly to Canterlot and meet you there?"
“If you wish,” Celestia said. “You have the option of flight, or a trip in one of our trains to Canterlot. Either way, it shall not take long.”
Dash rolled her eyes. "Trains can't break the sound barrier."
“You truly are a Dash,” Celestia chuckled, heading out the door with the guards in hoof. “I suspect you may be seeing our Rainbow Dash soon enough. Another just like her is bound to pique her curiosity.”
"I would imagine so...oh also, one more thing. I met this nice guard in town named Stonewall. He showed me around town and treated me to lunch since I didn't have any money. Since we're probably going to have guards while we are your guests, I'd like mine to be Stonewall. He's a cool guy, and it would be nice if the guy I had to hang out with was a friend, ya know?"
“Very well then,” Celestia nodded. “From here on out, Stonewall is to be your guard. I do so hope you treat each other well…” She peered around. “By any chance, do you know where he is?”
"Uh, nope, I don't see him. He had some stuff to do, so he had to leave after lunch. Still, a pretty cool guy." Dash said. "I've got a lot of respect for him."
Twilight twitched in her sleep, dreams of rainbow explosions and laughter filling her dreams.
Celestia nuzzled her, causing Sunset to pout. “Sleep well little one,” she motherly whispered. With that said, she used her magic to bring her own daughter close as well. “And don’t think I forgot about you either. I think this would make a fine outing for the three of us.”
“I’m back with…..” Spike said as he walked inside. “Apparently it takes longer to make a smoothie than I thought.”
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It's fun to write something that translates perfectly wrong.
5547148 Huh, I didn't know the "your grace" deal was exclusively Irish. Learn something new every day.
Also, I am not talking about a split in a horses hooves when I say they are cloven. I mean they are more like a goats hooves.
5548768 ...magic. It's magic.
Good to see this story follows the old adage: Everything is better with Trixie.
I like her being part Prench, in this 'verse is their a half-Prench city called Neigh Orleans? Also, is she related to Fleur de Lis in any way?
I love that gag from Rainbow Dash about eggs, I feel like every Pegasi foal tries to convince their non-Pegasi friends of this at least once. You know, we've seen x-rays of Rainbow Dash's wings from the show that shows they have bones in them. It makes you wonder if Thestrals were the original 3rd tribe, they're fully mammal like the other two tribes, and then they cross-bred with Griffons or something to come up with the modern Pegasus.
I don't know if this was intentionally funny or not, but I sure loved it when the Celestia who has an Inquisition that goes around executing ponies who speak against Celestia or refuse to worship her is all relieved that "there isn't a version of me that's a blood-thirsty tyrant." Has she checked the version of her in her mirror?
5549130 While Prance really doesn't 'talk' with outsiders, they do trade in some ports. Neigh Orleans is such. She is Fleur de Lis's daughter.
Celestia doesn't really 'condone' it, but she knows she has to be firm when any pony can fall to either dark powers or turn to selfish means. Although, it's usually just done by the Inquisition itself is trigger happy. They are full of themselves and believe they are 'right' in their actions.
5549151 Cool. Does that mean Fancy Pants is Trixie's dad? Would explain where she gets her blue.
Ehhhh, That sounds like what you're saying is, this is a dangerous world that requires a bloodthirsty tyrant of a Princess to keep anarchy and dark forces at bay. And that's probably true, considering what I've read of previous stories and the setting this is based on. But that doesn't mean this Celestia is not a tyrant, it means she is a necessary tyrant. That thing with the Inquisition is a dodge though, they worship her and wave swords around in her name, she's definitely responsible for their actions, although she might try and maintain plausible deniability. (I bet overzealous Inquisitors are occasionally labelled "rogue" so their actions don't get traced to the Princess).
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, this Celestia having an Inquisition and mandatory worship is a big part of what makes her so interesting, I just think it's ironic and a little funny she could make such a statement with a straight face.
That seems to be an unusually personal and awkward and fairly rude question to ask a client. How has he kept his job long enough for regular patrons to know him?