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JohnPerry

Joined October 2011
761 followers

For lack of a creative handle.

Stories (21)

34
10,615


At a rest stop on her way to Appleloosa, Twilight Sparkle has a rare moment to reflect...

First Published
13th Nov 2011
Last Modified
6th Nov 2011

Comments ( 34 )

#1 · 146w, 5d ago · · ·

Me Gusta

#2 · 146w, 5d ago · · ·

Awesomesauce. I love Slice of Life stories, this one was excellent.

#3 · 146w, 5d ago · · ·

Nice introspective piece here. I can certainly relate to having my memories go down strange tangents when I've got too much time to think. Really weird how your mind can drudge up stuff out of the blue, especially ones that you've think are long since forgotten.

Nice touch with having the special guest appear. I had an inkling that something like that would happen when Twilight was going through all the experiences she's had since arriving at Ponyville. That particular event I imagine would have been one she wouldn't readily forget. Nice to see that things ended on somewhat good terms. It's great to see characters grow even if things don't go exactly as planned.

And yeah, those two do have quite a bit in common.

Thanks for sharing!

#4 · 146w, 5d ago · · ·

Beautiful writing, some of the best I've read!

#5 · 146w, 2d ago · · ·

Quite well written, almost like a clip show episode. By which I mean that you wrote it with enough skill that I could see it being adapted into a script. Excellent characterization, train of thought, and hinting at deeper secrets with both Twilight and Trixie. Thank you for writing this.

#6 · 146w, 4h ago · · ·

Really good story; I'd love to see more stories like this! Only correction I can make is that 'amble' should be 'ample' in paragraph 4.

#7 · 146w, 3h ago · · ·

Story is promising but lacks drive, and there is certainly a lot of room for improvement during revision.  You probably should bring that second character in before any of the flashbacks and use the two-pony interaction as a framing device.  Lots of opportunities to tighten the prose once the story's in shape.

#8 · 146w, 3h ago · · ·

god damn. that was fantastic

#9 · 146w, 2h ago · · ·

Excellent~

#10 · 146w, 2h ago · · ·

This was full of awesome.  I did NOT see Trixie coming, and it was incredibly well done.

#11 · 146w, 50m ago · · ·

"I’m the least entitled pony in the world.  How could I ask for anything more?”

Do you mean "most entitled"?

#12 · 146w, 12m ago · · ·

Things were going to a really interesting place right up until Trixie showed up and this became "Every Other Twilight Tries To Fix Trixie Story". It finds itself again a bit with the subtle parallel between Twilight and Trixie, but by that point the story was over. As a thought, perhaps Twilight failing at moving Trixie through the power of friendship might be a more interesting take? That would bring things back to Twilight's own anxieties as she herself sees the parallel that she lacks the eloquence to express to Trixie.

#13 · 145w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

>>30023

I think it was more of a self-derision thing. She didn't think herself very deserving of it, whether or not that's really true. At least, within the context, that's what it seemed like to me.

#14 · 145w, 6d ago · · ·

Wow... This is amazing.

#15 · 145w, 6d ago · · ·

how did you do this? im convinced this could be a full length novel if you continued it.

heck it could even turn in to twi trix shipping! this was absolutly fantastic.

bravo

:rainbowkiss:

#16 · 145w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

has this been featured on eqd yet????

if not it def should have been

it was dumb luck i found it!!

#17 · 145w, 5d ago · · ·

This made my brain tell me I'm happy

You should be proud :pinkiehappy:

#18 · 145w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Wow, somebody who can turn the mundane and average moments of life into magic. It is rare and amazing. 5/5.

#19 · 145w, 2d ago · · ·

Bravo! Bravo! Magnifique! :pinkiehappy:

#20 · 144w, 6d ago · · ·

Not what I expected at all. Interesting mental trip. I understand it was meant to be a thought wandering story, but I still have the feeling the whole thing was a bit inconclusive. Maybe some rearranging of her thoughts? Overall, though, I like it.

#21 · 143w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Great story.  Having Trixie show up with the same outlook Twilight once held was a touch of genius.

#22 · 142w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

A fantastic read:pinkiehappy: and perfectly sized too!

#23 · 142w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Oh man, that was amazing. I really loved the first half, full of guilt and regret over Twilight's desire just to be 'normal' in her views. I think you did a really good job on making me feel sympathetic towards her.

The Trixie dialogue was quite nice too. It was awesome to see Twilight relate her past to Trixie's mindset in the present. Perhaps she will understand sometime, an interesting concept either way.

Cynewulf
Story Approver
#24 · 142w, 4d ago · · ·

Trixie's dialogue went well, I think. Just the right mixture of arrogance and contrition for the situation she's in! You feel really sympathetic for her- really, for both of them.

I don't think it's really inconclusive, though. The writing has just left us with something to think about just like she does. Twilight kind of speaks to her earlier questions in a way when she speaks to Trixie.

:twilightsmile:

#25 · 141w, 1d ago · · ·

Read this on my Kindle. Absolutely loved it! I will be watching you like a hawk, for sure!

(inb4 why not watching like a griffon)

:twilightsmile:

#26 · 140w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

This was really awesome. It was about all I love in travels ! Fleeting yet very touching encounters.. I secretly hoped that Twilight ask Trixie to come with her so she could get a friend, but that could've killed the moment..

Do an epilogue where she meet Trixie again and they begin friendship, pleaaaase ? :fluttershysad:

Hehe, I didn't think I would be moved by this story, now I'm sad (in a good way). Thank you for this story ! :twilightsmile:

#27 · 140w, 2d ago · · ·

finally got around to reading this fully! a good read, though i can't come up with anything creative... i stayed up to sunrise to make a dent in chapters i have to read

#28 · 129w, 4d ago · · ·

*Warning: Comment contains thoughts about the commenters self that is probably dull for anyone else to read.*

Second time around reading this, I'm really fond of this piece. I've been trying to write a story of my own with pretty limited success, so I'm trying to pay attention to the little, intricate bits of other pieces that I read. I feel like I can't quite reach the level of detail you've got here with what I'm doing myself, and using your story as a comparison for what I'm writing gives me something good to compare it to. Anyway, I won't ramble with everything I feel like talking about myself, so I'll just say that this is a really excellent piece, gets me thinking about a lot.

#29 · 125w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

6 months ago, I came to this community, I saw this story. It was the first one I ever read.

I look back now. It's still one of the best short stories I've ever read.

#30 · 121w, 14h ago · · ·

Quite an interesting read, keep up the fine work :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

#31 · 113w, 2h ago · 1 · ·

Somehow, I ended up here... glad I did. I was already watching you, but I admit I hadn't really looked at your older stories. I found this by chance.

And I love it.

>>30047 That's a really cool idea. Alternate ending?

#32 · 110w, 3d ago · · ·

So deep.  I love this.  :twilightsmile:

#33 · 60w, 4h ago · 1 · ·

Interesting read. Very introspective. Well-written, too.

Of course, the surprise appearance was spoiled since I picked up the story from a Trixie group and thus anticipated her.

#34 · 10w, 4d ago · · ·

Very good story! I really do like this one, it's head an  shoulders above most of what you find here on FIMfic. The 'Harvey Girl' reference with Trixie is especially good.

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