<

CyborgSamurai

Joined May 2012
783 followers

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Groups

Stories (5)

  • Can't Choose Your Family
    Celestia is visited by her estranged grandmother before the Summit of the Gods to discuss a family matter.

    3,937 words · 4,489 views · 489 likes · 7 dislikes
  • The Powers of Harmony
    The Mane Six develop the powers of the Elements of Harmony and must use them to stop a new villain.
    315,377 words · 19,768 views · 1,622 likes · 36 dislikes
  • The Last Crusade
    Four childhood friends discover that their friendship goes back a lot farther than they thought. 5s/4 side story.
    103,468 words · 10,471 views · 783 likes · 20 dislikes
  • The Garden of Shadows
    Luna takes drastic measures to save the ponies of Equestria from the effects of light poisoning.
    7,906 words · 1,990 views · 179 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Twilight of the Colossus
    11,998 words · 1,666 views · 223 likes · 27 dislikes

Blog Posts (60)

Source

The storm is breaking on the Horizon.

It's been two months since the battle against Nightmare Moon. Luna is recovering, Celestia is busy turning the government back into a diarchy, and the Mane Six have returned to their lives. All seems well, but when Celestia discovers that half of the power of the Elements of Harmony have been transferred to each of the Bearers, she decides to send thirteen mysterious members of the Royal Guard to monitor them as they manifest and develop their new abilities.

The sins of a forgotten war still linger, and an ancient evil lurks in the shadows, just waiting for the right time to strike. The Mane Six suddenly find themselves once again at the heart of a conspiracy to bring about Eternal Night, and only by awakening their powers and realizing their full potential can they do anything to stop it. Friends both old and new will help them along the way, and an unseen force will guide them as it seeks to right a wrong made thousands of years ago. The Bearer's journeys will take them outside the borders of Equestria and into the world beyond, and when they return, they'll have the power and experience necessary to save the world and bring about balance in all things.

The Powers of Harmony TV Tropes Page (SPOILERS)

The Powers of Harmony Group (Check the forums for extra lore!)

Thanks to Wildy71090 for the cover pic.

First Published
3rd May 2012
Last Modified
18th Jun 2013

Comments ( 1,950 )

#1 · Chapter 6 · 112w, 5d ago · 5 · ·

Changes- (Please don't hate me, it makes the story better, I promise)

4/7/12

-Two new scenes have been added to Chapter 1, and the order of all the scenes in the Chapter has been changed.

-The end scene in Chapter 3 has been completely changed and rewritten.

-The beginning scene in Chapter 4 has had some dialogue tags rearranged to accommodate the changes made in Chapters 1 and 3.

-Chapter 5 has had dialogue changes to better explain later events.

-The Prologue has been removed.

5/10/12

-Several grammatical errors have been fixed.

-Chapters 2-6 have had small changes in the form of action tags and description alterations.

-The opening scene of Chapter 1 has been rewritten and changed.

-The name of the story has been changed.

7/10/12

-The scene with Blair, Elo, and Strauss in Chapter 8 has had dialogue changes to better clarify a plot point.

- EQD INC

7/14/12

-The description of Horizon's barrier has been changed from transparent to opaque (I should really look up the definitions of words before I use them)

7/20/12

-Blair and Piro's discussion in Chapter 3 has had a minor alteration to better reflect later events.

-The status of Rarity's recovery has been changed due to plot reasons. The dialogue sections in Chapter 8 concerning her have been altered to reflect this.

8/6/12

-The definition of the Sonic Rainboom in relation to this universe now reflects that of a sonic boom in real life, aka Mach 1 and not Mach 5. All instances where this information shows up in the story have been altered to reflect this.

8/20/12

-Rarity's dream sequence at the end of Chapter 11 has had an alteration to coincide with events in Chapter 16.

9/13/12

-The terrible info dumps in Chapter 16 have been changed.

10/2/12

-The structure of the story has been changed to resemble a three-act play to separate the story in terms of pacing and overall tone.

-The cover picture has been changed.

-The author's reverse carpal ligaments have been cut, resulting in less pressure and inflammation on his median nerves.

10/5/12

-In Chapter 15, it's been changed that Libra's mother was the one who warned him, not his father.

-Piro's memory in Chapter 6 has had a minor alteration.

10/24/12

-One of Blair's comments in his discussion with Celestia in Chapter 1 has been changed to better reflect later events.

11/5/12

-Cetus is no longer a Lord because the title isn't gender appropriate.

12/5/12

-The description of Zecora's hut in Chapter 5 has been changed.

1/2/13

-The end scene in Chapter 23 has been altered to better reflect later events.

-Zemblani has been given a cutie mark in Chapter 19. It's described as 'a circle with a black and white spiral inside it.'

-The Element of Laughter was always meant to be associated with wind. Small changes have been made in Chapters 5, 9, 14, 16, and 23 to reflect this.

1/6/13

-The story description has been updated.

1/9/13

-Zecora now refers to Pinkie as her Maalufunzi, which is a Zhevari word roughly meaning 'Sacred Apprentice,' or 'Student of the Sacred Arts.' Changes have been made in Chapters 5 and 14 to reflect this.

2/14/13

-Applejack's Strength power has been buffed to also make her immune to poison in addition to disease.

#2 · Chapter 8 · 110w, 5d ago · · ·

It seems all the old comments have been deleted. Unfortunate.

#3 · Chapter 8 · 110w, 5d ago · · ·

>>705357

There were only two comments that weren't made by me. One of them was a feedback post for the Prologue that I saved all the info from in a word doc and made the changes that were recommended. And it didn't make sense to have the comment there after I removed the Prologue, (I felt it was hurting the story.)

#4 · Chapter 8 · 110w, 5d ago · · ·

>>706056

I assumed that a fic this good would have had many comments. Sorry about that. :twilightblush:

#5 · Chapter 8 · 110w, 4d ago · · ·

>>709178

Haha, it's all good. I'm glad you're enjoying it. And I’m not surprised that I haven’t gotten much in terms of comments. When I first posted the story, it had a lot of mistakes that amateur writers make, (LUS, SvT, Adverb Attacks, Flow, Plot Holes, Purple Prose, and others.) I’ve been reading guides on writing and having editors from ponychan look at the chapters as I release them, so that’s definitely helped. I’m planning on submitting this to EqD when I finish Chapter 10 to see if it gets approved. Hopefully I'll get some more comments then. :twilightsmile:

#6 · Chapter 8 · 110w, 3d ago · · ·

This fic needs moar comments :P

#7 · Chapter 8 · 110w, 3d ago · · ·

needs more readers! great ideas within this story.

#8 · Chapter 9 · 109w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

Blair is a Waterbender, and it seems he knows Bloodbending too. Interesting.

#9 · Chapter 9 · 109w, 5d ago · · ·

>>744009

SPOILERS

#10 · Chapter 9 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

I have to say that I was not expecting this.

This story is interesting. There are certain questions that I would like answered, but I guess that is the point of reading.

I have only finished five chapters so far, but I am eager to see where this story is going.

#11 · Chapter 9 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

>>749537

Keep reading and you might find those questions answered. :twilightsmile:

#12 · Chapter 7 · 109w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

The process seems to have started.

Now to see what happens to the others.




Why does this story create more questions every time it answers one?

#13 · Chapter 9 · 109w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

>>754030

Conflicts are the core of any story. If I answered all the questions, what point would there be in reading on? :pinkiehappy:

Also, a lot of questions get answered in Chapter 8.

#14 · Chapter 10 · 108w, 6d ago · · ·

I'm really enjoying this story! :pinkiehappy:

I especially like how the dialogue feels so natural. This is on par with most of the commercial fiction I've read.

How on earth is this not more well known?!

#15 · Chapter 10 · 108w, 6d ago · · ·

>>777901

I'm glad you're enjoying it. And as for it not being well-known, that may change. I submitted it to EqD last night. Cross your fingers!

#16 · Chapter 11 · 107w, 5d ago · · ·

wait... Cancer and Scorpio... 12 ponies... I has me a suspicion... :trixieshiftleft:

Edit: Looks at the title... :facehoof: how did i miss that?

On a different note, I think you forgot a name here:

Rarity held up a different magazine. “This one is *fashion magazine*....

And now to wait a week for the next installment of this great story! :twilightsmile:

#17 · Chapter 11 · 107w, 4d ago · · ·

>>824378

*fashion magazine*... lol. I was having trouble thinking up names so I just put placeholders in so I could keep going. Looks like I forgot one :twilightblush:

Well now that you've figured out the little fun thing I did with their names, you can try to figure out who's who! Although that should be pretty easy, heh.

#18 · Chapter 3 · 105w, 6d ago · 1 · 1 ·

I thought you said there were 13? The last paragraph only adds up to twelve.

#19 · Chapter 11 · 105w, 6d ago · · ·

>>892167

Vigil isn't part of their platoon and was already notified of the official assignment. He knows nothing of what's actually going on.

#20 · Chapter 4 · 105w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Fun fact about real life bears, or at least some species of them, the mother gives birth during hibernation, barely waking up during the process if at all. She essentially goes to bed pregnant and wakes up with newborn children.

#21 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 5d ago · · ·

I am quite liking this story of yours and look forward to future chapters.

#22 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 5d ago · · ·

>>896843

Glad you're enjoying it! The next few chapters are going to be shorter than this one, but things will be ramping up here very soon.

:coolphoto:

#23 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 5d ago · · ·

:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Specifically: Everything.

I came across this once before and decided no to read it expecting some sort of OC element of harmony knock off from the description and title.

I was wrong.

Like someone said to me before, It's criminal how little attention this story gets.

And as I said to them: I have no pony to blame but myself.

Keep up the good work!

#24 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 5d ago · · ·

>>897573

Sounds like I might need to re-think the title and description. It's something I've considered and need to work harder on. The problem is that the plot is overly complicated and difficult to describe in a blurb. I've redone it several times as it is, and will most likely continue to do so until I get something that is more alluring.

I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and thanks for the encouragement!

:twilightsmile:

#25 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 5d ago · · ·

>>897710

I am not saying things should be changed: Just a simple clarifying sentence at the top could do much.

Still. You tickled my fancy:

Have a mysterious and cryptic summary. It could use a bit of work.

The Elements Of Harmony are old. Older then Celestia and older then current history recalls. So how it is that when shattered in the battle with nightmare moon a part of each Element found a place within the body of their bearer? Celestia knows how, and she even knows why. She gambles much so the six mares can be protected as The Elements Of Harmony within them grow and recover. But there is darkness on the Crumbling Horison.

The guards she sends to protect them know far, far much then they should. Their secret a dark result of hope gone terribly wrong.

The clock ticks the final seconds before doom of Horison. As the Elements: Awaken.

As for the title...

Well In the 100k words I only got a hint of that the hey the zodiac ritual was.

You could keep it. Or perhaps rename it Crumbling Horizon? MIND YOU! I would consider things very very much before actually changing the titles to any of my stories. It. Should. Come. From. You.

Keep having fun! Love the work.

After reading  over this coment it looks a bit dry so  have a smiley or two. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

#26 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 5d ago · · ·

>>897866

Well In the 100k words I only got a hint of that the hey the zodiac ritual was.

Well in the 100k words I only got a hint

100k words

It's impressive how you can be so closely involved with a piece of work that you can't see an elephant like that.  Yeah... some fixing is in order.

EDIT: Oh hey, look at that. I fixed stuff. I think that's much better now.

#27 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 5d ago · · ·

Of course now folks that notice this will go: "New story! 100k words! Wait... I see what you did there!" :trollestia:

Sorry I couldn't offer more feedback but I read it all in one sitting and if I did notice any issues I forgot them by the time I finished. XD

#28 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 5d ago · · ·

Another amazing chapter - This story is getting higher in my list of all time favorites :pinkiehappy:

About the title change - I preferred the old one really... It implied a mysticism that set a better tone for the story than "The Powers of Harmony", Just my opinion here though.

I feel the same about the image too - The current one is a very nice piece of art, but feels a bit wrong to me. But perhaps I like my mystic references a little too much... :twilightsheepish:

#29 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 4d ago · · ·

Dis chapter. Dis chapter right here; dis good stuff.

#30 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

I like this. It's long, detailed, creative, intelligently written, and genuinely fun to read. I read the whole thing in one sitting. It's astonishing this isn't more popular!

#31 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 4d ago · · ·

>>905882>>901352

I'm glad you're both enjoying the story. Stay tuned for more awesome.

#32 · Chapter 4 · 105w, 3d ago · · ·

A small amount of confetti jettisoned out from the chimney of Pinkie’s house, gently fluttering to the ground. The muted explosion caused a few nearby pedestrians to stop momentarily, but they continued on their business a few seconds later, after shaking their heads in knowing amusement.

“What in Celestia’s name is this?” Vigil demanded.

Ras shook his head. “I have no idea.”

“Hello, Guardsponies!”

Both of them turned to see Pinkie standing in the far corner, waving with an innocent smile. A massive cannon with a shiny red button stood beside her.

Vigil’s eyes went wide. “Is that a—”

“WELCOME TO PONYVILLE!” Pinkie smashed the button.

A small amount of confetti jettisoned out from the chimney of Pinkie’s house, gently fluttering to the ground. The muted explosion caused a few nearby pedestrians to stop momentarily, but after shaking their heads in knowing amusement, they continued on their business.

Looks like a copypaste error.  

#33 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 3d ago · · ·

>>910264

Fixed. Thanks for pointing that out.

#34 · Chapter 1 · 105w, 11h ago · · ·

Great start  there. Though maybe Luna's letter should have had all the nouns, proper and common, capitalized, as it was done in ye olde days, and as it is still done in German.

#35 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 10h ago · · ·

This story is really quite, quite amazing. I have never before been as ashamed by fimfiction and its Featured Box's predilection for hammy oneshots, rather than works such as this. As a reviewer, I have been unable to really review a good, multichaptered fic in weeks, but this concept and its execution were so wonderfully pulled off that I cannot help but applaud you. I can only encourage you more in your writing.

Of course, if I may make the obligatory nitpick, there are a few typos scattered throughout (capitalization, punctuation, etc) but nothing glaring whatsoever. A delightfully original concept, and one that's been done nearly perfectly thus far, from start to finish.

You have my upvote and favorite, good sir. :twilightsmile:

#36 · Chapter 2 · 105w, 9h ago · · ·

And that is how you pull off a good accent: just enough to show that it's there, but not enough to take away from the flow of the conversation.

#37 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 9h ago · · ·

>>923843

Thank you very much for your kind words and upvote!. I'm glad you're enjoying the story thus far and are intrigued by the concept.

And now I really need to go to bed :twilightblush:

#38 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 8h ago · · ·

Mane 6 gaining superpowers - darn, you took my idea and managed to get onto EqD with it!!!

Still, I salute you sir for managing to accomplish what I had failed to do with my own fanfic, and even managed to put an original twist onto a concept so pants-shittingly awesome. This fic has REALLY tickled my fancy, and I'm going to be watching very closely to see what other powers you give the Mane 6 in future chapters. Consider me highly intrigued with the direction you're going in with this concept.

That said, would you mind checking out 'The Order of Koaxia' and dropping off some critiques on how I'm writing it out? I'd like to know how I could improve my story so that it could make it onto EqD as well :twilightsheepish:

#39 · Chapter 2 · 105w, 8h ago · 1 · ·

Rainbow felt the familiar strain in her back and chest muscles as she pulled up, her wings snapping taut as they caught the air and leveled her out at a ninety degree angle. She cruised just above the ground at supersonic speeds, sending loose plants, debris, and even the occasional small animal flying in her wake.

Since you didn't bother to describe or even mention her pulling off the Rainboom (you mention the mach cone, but not the boom itself), I'm gonna go ahead and say that she wasn't actually flying a supersonic speeds. Methinks subsonic is the term you were looking for, there. Or, if you did mean to say supersonic, then you should really mention that she broke the sound barrier. Considering how close she would have been to the ground at that point, it would probably culminate in another Rainnuke explosion, as well.

#40 · Chapter 1 · 105w, 8h ago · · ·

This is awesome and needs more views and comments. You get 5/5 moustaches. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

#41 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 8h ago · · ·

Flutterdoolittle!

#42 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 8h ago · · ·

An amazing fiction. You've managed to put considerable expansion into an already preexisting world with it's own mythology and made it your own. I read the first chapter earlier today and simply had to finish it.

Out of curiosity, does this take place during any specific part of the canon timeline?

#43 · Chapter 3 · 105w, 8h ago · · ·

Hm...

#44 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 8h ago · · ·

I'll comment on the thing that, oddly enough, struck me the hardest: I enjoy the fact that there is an easily identifiable chronology and continuity, both in the story itself and in relation to the FiM timeline. It's odd how many stories become vague and incomprehensible when setting a timeframe.

#45 · Chapter 3 · 105w, 6h ago · · 1 ·

>>892167

I think that this is just the pavilion that was assigned to Ponyville, and then the missing pony was the extra one Celestia assigned and who already knows the orders (that is if I am remembering correctly)

#46 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 5h ago · · ·

The Master is the most badass animal ever.

Kinda reminds me of the Meet the Engineer video.

These animals have been befriended by me. Organized into efficient strike teams by me. And you best hope they aren't pointed at you.

#47 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 5h ago · · ·

>>924339 This has really stuck out as notable to me too, in addition to the general high quality of the story. I like that most of the main six haven't met the CMC before, for example. It's neat to see a story set so firmly and early in the series' chronology, especially one that is diverging significantly from it.

#48 · Chapter 1 · 105w, 4h ago · · ·

73 likes and 0 dislikes. That's all I feel needs to be said of the quality of this thing. I really, really want to read more. And so I shall.

#49 · Chapter 1 · 105w, 3h ago · · ·

This is a rare example of proper early modern English on fimfiction. Have a cookie.:ajsmug:

I have yet to read subsequent chapters, but lacking any hindsight, the exchange with blair confuses me. I presume that the barrier is one inside blair? and that it contains horizon? These questions will keep me reading, but in the slightly-irked fashion of one who isn't being let in on the joke, as it were.

#50 · Chapter 12 · 105w, 3h ago · · ·

I will admit that the OCs had me worried at first but the continued attention being primarily on the mane characters is great and I can't wait to see where this goes, you now have another follower.:yay:

0 24125 287645
Login or register to comment