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  • E Leaving Home

    Shining Armor looks back at his memories before he leaves home.
    2,732 words · 2,195 views  ·  68  ·  3
  • T A Day in the Roots of Fluttertree

    Fluttertree awakes one morning, and waits for the sensual touch of Applejack.
    5,081 words · 3,601 views  ·  135  ·  24 · sex

Blog Posts104

  • 61w, 6d
    Fan Expo

    Anyone going?

    7 comments · 169 views
  • 87w, 6d
    My honest opinion on the new episode.

    I'll be blunt. I rated it as the second worst episode of the series; only episode I hated more was Spike at Your Service.  Now, the difference in the two episodes is that in SaYS, we only had a Spike that went full retard and basically terrible characterizations over all. The Timberwolves weren't enough to pull it out of a crater that dug to the core of the earth filled with shit I wanted to set on fire from pure hatred of the episode.

    Magical Mystery Cure, which sounds like it's based off of some Beatles' album, brought a whole new level of suck to the table. It's the first episode I rage quitted from watching (my friend who I was chatting with did nearly the same thing) and the first episode where everything that happened I basically hated. Almost everything, at least.

    The good things were few and far between. I mean, there was basically only three or four good things in the entire episode. Five if you count the appearance of Bubbly McBubblington Bubblebutts, best wall-eyed background pony ever made. Although she's not really a plus. She's pure fan pandering and adding her into the finale quite honestly annoyed me. I guess the only thing I'm happy about is that she's alive, as this should shut those moralDerpyfags up. Hopefully. Probably not, though.

    I guess I should start explaining my reasoning behind my hatred. First thing was the music. I only managed to make it through six of the songs. I quit before the last one was played, but judging by how bad the songs were overall, I would've hated it. Guess I also missed the second one but I'm still gonna guess it sucked. Yes I hate things. Quite easily, in fact. Maybe it stems from the fact I'm into death metal and little pop songs don't make me release dopamine the same way I do when I hear Pekka Kokko shredding, or Herman Li playing some amazing guitar solo that makes me question how the universe hasn't been torn asunder.

    However, I'm not just into metal. Some of the songs from the show I /have/ enjoyed and have taken the time to memorize both rhythm and lyrics. For fun. Smile Smile Smile in particular; This Day Aria was a fun one to learn; Winter Wrap Up is a must. The songs in the new episode, however?

    The first song, with Twilight waking up and saying how everything was going to be a good day. I actually liked it. It was catchy, pretty cool, and I found myself laughing--and questioning a bunch of things--when Twilight started tap dancing on the table. Bipedal much? This does raise a bunch of questions, however. Since when did Twilight learn how to tap dance? I demand a fic where Twilight takes tap dancing lessons and she finds out she's some sort of prodigy. Another good thing about the song is that it lead into the problem. Rarity fucking up the weather 'cause apparently she's been cutie mark (destiny?) swapped into believing she's a weather pony.

    The second one, as I previously stated, I missed. Because my laptop overheated and I REALLY didn't want to look back into this episode. Just going to assume it sucked because, as a friend stated when I gave my review of this episode to him, I'm a pessimistic lil' fuck. Whoops. :3

    The third song (assuming it was 'What my Cutie Mark is Telling Me') was also quite good. Something about seeing how everyone is now trying to deal with their new forced destiny (we'll get to that later) was kinda cool. So, we have Rainbow Dash thinking she's Fluttershy; Fluttershy thinking she's Pinkie; Pinkie thinking she's Applejack; Applejack thinking she's Rarity; and Rarity thinking she's Rainbow Dash. The pentagram is complete between swapped destiny. All we need is a few candles, a ram's horn, maybe a hoof, and we'll get together for early morning Satanic rituals.

    No one? At all?

    Fine. Guess I'll summon something by myself.

    All silliness aside, Pinkiejack was adorable. Everything she did was adorable. From the faceplant after she tried to move the plough, to the broken leg when she tried to buck a tree. Hell, even when a chicken laid an egg in her mane it was adorable. Applejackity just wasn't as good, but whatever. Pinkiejack has enough adorableness to back everyone else up.

    Now, song four was shit. I can not stress this enough. Only positive thing was when Rainbow Dash was about to be vored. Should've went through with that. Now, the lyrics make me want to cringe. The simplicity of solving the entire episode's problem in a single song as well? Blah. Bad taste in my mouth rotten enough to make corned beef taste good. I /loathe/ corned beef. No, seriously, it's the only food to ever make me vomit. The lyrics are obviously aimed at a younger audience. I know what you're going to say. 'Oh, but this show was originally for little girls.' That's cute. Daniel Ingram promised 'epic' this season. Songs have been bad.

    Another thing that I've heard. . . apparently MandoPony worked on some of the songs? That could explain why I didn't like most of the songs. As per much of the other 'famous' fandom musicians, I don't actually like any of them. Call me a heretic, call me a blasphemous scum, call me a Satanist that's still gathering supplies for my early morning Satanic summoning rituals--one of these days I'll summon Pinkie. Then the world will bow before my feet. Or hooves--but I really don't like them.

    Getting back on track, the next song was the greatest moment of the show. Oh, the song sucked, but Celestia sang it. Lyrics were shallow. . . man, I can't even think of a proper analogy here. I'll post my headcanon here later in the blog, but the song sucked. Plain and simple.

    And then Twilicorn happened and I rage quit. Not from the wings, but because of why it happened. Like I said, it brought a whole new level of suck to the table.

    Let's get to it, shall we? Now, Celestia sent Twilight Starswirl's unfinished spell. It obviously wasn't completely unfinished, as it managed to swap the destinies of her friends. Except her 'cause fuck that, Hasbro needs a new money grabbing scheme. Does this  ring a bell with any other fanfic writers? Namely the 'Twilight fucks up a spell and the world fails.' Only good one is Scystorm's take on it. Simply because everything goes just fine when she casts a spell.

    So Twilight, through a song, manages to push everyone to their rightful destiny, therefore fixing her own fuck-up. Also she adds a few lines to the book then does a dramatic dot then PEWPEWPEW she gets laser beamed.

    The headcanon here is that she died. Would've made the  episode a LOT better, honestly. Now, the laser beam incinerated her. The next scene where she's in some sort of in-between  universe that looks like it was made by a Twifag stalker documenting her entire life for his own personal lustful needs. Now, this is the afterlife. Celestia couldn't bear to tell her student the truth, so she gave her an afterlife dream. This explains why the lyrics suck, Celestia's making up a song on the spot to try to make it seem like everything's normal. Everything else is a dream. A good dream, one that Twilight obviously wanted. Dead, body vaporized so thoroughly there's no strands of it left in the entire universe, Twilight's living in her dream as an alicorn. As the pretty pony princess she obviously (she didn't) deserved to be. Ponyville is left mourning; Celestia's going to refuse to take in another student for fear of her next one being torn apart from her like this one. The Lunar Republic and the other one rises because nothing makes sense anymore, and the world ends. Okay, last part is joking, but it totally makes sense. If you believe in the afterlife, that is.

    Headcanon is a powerful thing, isn't it?

    Now, ignoring headcanon and getting back to the show. Celestia’s song ends, and Twilight becomes an alicorn and a pretty pony princess and I quite honestly rage quit then and there. I saw nothing else, heard nothing else, and effectively gave up on the episode. The livestream tab was closed, and I never looked at anything dealing with the episode again. Until today when I had to look up the song names.

    I have seen a lot of praise for this episode, and I guess people are welcome to their own opinions. But that also means I’m entitled to my own.

    This episode earns a 1.5/10, the second lowest rating I've ever given an episode. I recommend not watching this ponified High School Musical, and instead doing better things with your life like doing the dishes.

    Review over, let the flaming commence.

    Looking forward to not replying to your comments,  

    Carmine.


    18 comments · 372 views
  • 89w, 5d
    I've basically given up on this site. Also Twilicorn, I guess.

    Take a good look at the featured box and the new stories list. What do you see? The same recycled stories you see every other week. Possibly the only exception is the HiE where two bronies turn into Pokemon and are sent into Equestria. Unique idea, but it's absolutely horrid.

    I probably don't have room to speak; I've written recycled stories that seemed popular at the time in hopes that I'd gain a few new followers.  I'm guilty of this crime, but at least I came to my senses and deleted them. Hard drive they're on has been smashed with a hammer, burned to a crisp in an industrial strength incinerator, and the ashes have been scattered into the toilet bowl, flushed away to new areas I can only hope I'll some day see.

    I just hope my stories don't end up destroying the entire ecosystem. They can't be that bad, can they? (Hint: they are. Whoop whoop, destruction of the entire world at the hands of mere words.)

    Now, this doesn't mean I've stopped writing. Just because I can't stand to look at the featured box (anyone know how to work the HTML code of the site to hide it?) doesn't mean I'm still not doing stuff. 'Cause I am. At roughly a word a month. . . progress is progress, at least I'm doing something.

    I'd like to think I've scrapped many of the ideas I've had long ago because they didn't seem to 'entice' me anymore. Some of them seemed bland, some of them seemed like regurgitated filth. That's why I've been grinding the miniature gears in my head--apparently they weren't oiled and may have had a couple hundred spider generations go on in there. The webbing I had to get rid of was dreadful--for new ideas that piqued even my own interest.

    Now, just because I've given up on fics on this site, doesn't mean I won't be uploading my own stories here. If I ever get around to writing them. I haven't given up on you guys, and I check my PMs/notifications every single day (logged onto like. . . thirty six the other day. Apparently someone plugged The Last Party on Facebook and it got a LOT of extra views.)

    I should also tackle another issue while I'm actually writing this. The idea of Twilicorn.  This actually came up a few days ago, and I actually tried to describe the entirety of the show as an allusion to a great fanfic in as few words as possible:

    I'd like to think of MLP:FiM as a giant fanfiction. You start off with an interesting character--Twilight, I guess. She's interesting enough as the personal protege of Celestia and one of her many students during Luna's absence--and you introduce a flaw. She studies so hard she has no friends, she doesn't need friends, she doesn't /WANT/ friends.

    Now, after the first two chapters, she discovers that friendship is magic. (Lolcorny) And that she's better off with friends, so she requests to stay in this new area and go on many adventures with new ponefriends. This is where the author knew what they were doing. They did countless chapters fleshing out the characters, and everything was beautiful.

    They ended the first arc in a beautiful way.

    And then season two happened.

    The second arc started off strong, but it started faltering mid-way through. It was evident the writer was starting to run out of ideas. . . but every now and then a chapter would be gold. Absolute, pure, billion bit worth gold.

    But then the second arc was brought to an end with the addition of something that the initial arc contradicted. They stated that there was only two alicorns, and then suddenly there's a third one who's the princess of some strange place far away no one has ever heard of and she controls love and bullshit and she beats some love eating monster with love. Makes no sense, but whatever, it had good musical numbers.

    And then the third arc. We don't like to talk about the third arc.

    Now, this is where the writer completely ran out of ideas. But due to overwhelming popularity, they felt like they needed to continue this. And they looked at the comments. . . people had ideas. Good ideas, or so the writer thought, so he started writing chapters that the fans wanted. First you have the Crystal Empire. Oh, what's this? Suddenly you see another 'good' idea and you decide to mix it with the entire thing. (Twilicorn)

    So they bullshit their way to the Crystal Empire, and then suddenly there's some giant smoke monster AND FLUGLEHORNS. Sombra was bullshit; there's no way you can look at that mess and say he's good. Every good villain has motives, Sombra was 'LOLFUCKYOUYOU'REMINE.' No motive, bad design, was illiterate/couldn't speak. Possibly both.

    But the writer persisted. People somehow liked this shit, so he continued to do chapter after chapter. A chapter about Pinkie multiplying herself and becoming the most annoying fucker in the entire Equestrian region (Take it from someone who absolutely /LOVES/ that pink mare). A chapter where a previous villain came back, with some bullshit amulet, and ended up taking over Ponyville.

    And then you have things like. . . you introduce new characters. Give them motives. The true 'good' chapters of the third arc. Babs Seed, Sleepless, Just for Sidekicks. And they were good, because they didn't involve characters being retards and going against whatever in-character shit the writer had made for them two arcs ago.

    And then the moment of truth.

    The writer came across the finale. For some reason, this fic was STILL popular so he had to end this arc in such a mind-blowing way that no one would be able to think straight for the next millennium. How would he do that? By turning the main character--someone that's already really way too powerful for their own good--into an alicorn.

    This wasn't a good idea. It never was a good idea. Alicorns aren't good. They stated that there was /TWO/ alicorns. They can't play the 'Celestia's student must become an alicorn' because Celestia has had MANY students.  Protege? Oh please, she's not the only one. Don't forget Starswirl. (Headcanon, but we can't forget that he has an entire wing named after him. He must've been a prodigal student because of his AMAZING abilities.)

    And then the discussion changed into something else which I think was pony butt. I don't really remember.

    Tl;dr- I don't particularly enjoy the fact of Twilicorn becoming canon, but I've read this far--through the good and the bad--to unfavourite this fic.

    I'll withhold any more judgement until after the episode airs. But that's about it for now, people who actually took the time to read through this entire thing.

    Remember, this is entirely my opinion; you're allowed to think otherwise.

    Signing off to procrastinate even more,

    Carmine.

    21 comments · 385 views
  • 108w, 18h
    What a good day!

    My head's slightly pounding, my stomach feels like it won't be able to hold any food down, yet I'm still happy. I guess I brought those symptoms upon myself when I decided to start drinking last night in celebration for my 19th birthday!

    Now I can legally drink!... Not that I really cared.

    Anyway, that's about the gist of this blogpost; so yay, happy birthday to me and whatnot.

    ALSO EVERYONE SHOULD POST PINKIE 'CAUSE PINKIE IS BEST PONY.

    9 comments · 250 views
  • 110w, 3d
    Quick update.

    I bet you guys are wondering what everyone's least favourite Pinkie lover is doing. I'm here to fill you guys in.

    I have a number of things going on in the silly little world of pony fanfics, most of it planning with a few good friends I've made on the site (and raging at terrible fanfics.) Now, I have 3 major fics I'm going to be working on over the course of the next year, if not longer.

    The first one is a collab between CYANIDE and I. Yes, the Cyanide who wrote Moonstone Cup. Expect crazy hijinks and strange characters.

    Second one is Rictus, which I believe will be my sort of magnum opus in the 'dark' genre.

    Third one is something I'd like to call 'The Colt in Grey,' a sort of psychological supernatural thriller of a fic. I have high expectations for it.

    The latter most one is actually going to be lengthy. I'd say around 100k-150k words... and the best part is? I may turn it into original fiction.

    And that's it for the quick update. Pony on, everyone.

    Carmine, out.

    3 comments · 229 views
  • ...
 276
 16,535

Every week, in secrecy, Scootaloo goes to her parent's house. She's afraid of other ponies finding out because her parents are rather... strange. But maybe things aren't as they seem, as her parents are about to tell her something that can turn her entire world upside down...

First Published
2nd May 2012
Last Modified
2nd May 2012
#1 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

This is the epic resultant of me being bored and somewhat in the mood to write something I wasn't currently working on... yeah, I don't really know either. Hope everypony enjoys this. :pinkiehappy:

#2 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

Read Title.

...

Silly, Scootaloo doesn't had parents.:scootangel:

#3 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

>>534393

Read the story Wilhelm! :ajsmug:

Obselescence
Moderator
#4 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

I dooooooooon't

Whaaaaaaaat

#5 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

>>534398

:unsuresweetie:

I am doing.

#6 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

I like it.

It's Trollish, but still adorable and humourous to read. One of the reasons why you make some of the better fics around here Carmine.

:pinkiehappy::ajsmug::rainbowlaugh:

#8 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

Best fanfic trolling evar. :trollestia:

"Bawk!"

#9 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

>>534412

That pic and this fic get the Scrafty Gusta of Approval

#10 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

You clever bastard!

#12 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

bawk bawk bawk, bawk bawk

#14 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

Bawk bawk bawk

Can't read past that

Laughing too hard

#15 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

wut the  *bu-caw!* did i just read? :derpyderp2:

#16 · 129w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Cute! wonder who her parents are!

I demand a follow-up! :moustache:

#17 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

That.... was awesome. Thumbs up! :ajsmug:

#18 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

:facehoof:

#19 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

This needs a second chapter.Or something. It's far too silly to stand alone.

Note that this is a good thing.

#21 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

wat

#22 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

OMG.... yes....

#23 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

dis is gonna be good:coolphoto:

#24 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

nope i cant read this. i cant believe you would do this to such an inocent and cute little filly. scoots is my fave pony so therefore i just cant read this. i got to the part with her dad first spoke

#25 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

You, sir, are glorious.

#26 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

>>534393 that's only because Hasbro has yet to show them or even come up with them. remember when we used to think that Twilight was an only child till this guy came along?

so let's not just assumed Scootaloo's an orphan yet.

#27 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

>>534831

To be fair, it's not QUITE as bad as you're thinking it is. She's only the adopted child of chickens. Her biological parents are still an unknown.

This sorta thing is why I don't stop reading something halfway unless things like grammar, punctuation, and spelling are bad enough to warrant it :rainbowlaugh:

#28 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

>>535144

Wait, what do you mean, 'used to'? Is there some reason now to think she's not an only child?

#29 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

>>535228 well, i assumed that, before Shining Armor even came to exsicence, everyone thought that Twilight was an only child because there wasn't even a brief mention of neither Shining or Candence, and everyone just thought all Twilight grew up with is Celestia, and Twilight's parents. the episode where Twilight talked about when she got her cutie mark had no mention of having siblings. so, eventally, Hasbro offically desided that Twilight has a brother and Celestia has a niece, even though there was no prior mention of such. understand what i mean?:ajsmug:

#30 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

And then Scootaloo wasn't a chicken.

#31 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

Uh :unsuresweetie:

#32 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

At first i was like:applejackconfused: but then i was like :rainbowdetermined2: perhaps instead of finding her parents Scootaloo will find her self just as the same way Applejack did you never know maybe...:heart:

#33 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

WHAT THE-?!

I believe this meme has gone too far now.

Ah, what the hell, I'll track it anyway.

#34 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

I don't think I could have edited this man...

... You did just fine XD

#35 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

>>535268

What I'm saying is, Shining Armor doesn't count. He's not a real character, he's a plot device shaped like a pony.

#36 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

For the love of God, Carmine, keep this story going! You must show us the secrets of who Scoots' parents are!

I'm betting on Rainbow Dash. :rainbowhuh:

#37 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

>>535809 he is a real character. a character that came from nowhere, but one noneoftheless. if your a fan or used it just being Twilight as an only child, that's fine, but don't be quick to shun anything new just because of it.

#38 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

Ugh, I still got soda coming out of my nose from when her dad first spoke. Well played sir, well played.

#39 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

the reveal at the beginning had me rolling, but i guessed at the adoption thing as soon as he started the "reassuring"  friggin hilarious.:scootangel:

#41 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

I am so confused and can't stop laughing :rainbowlaugh:

Up-vote and favorite for sure, can't wait to see how this will turn out

#42 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

What the hell did I just read?...

Nah, it's good. Up-vote! :rainbowlaugh:

#43 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

:rainbowhuh: What is this?

Tracking

#44 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

I'll let everypony in on a little secret: most likely, I'm not continuing this story, because I really wrote it as a one-shot! If enough ideas come to my mind though, I may continue it.

#45 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

What is this, I don''t even... :rainbowhuh:

#46 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

Vat a twist!:twistnerd:

#47 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

I can't deal with this man!

#48 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

That was pretty hilarious, a different take on the "Chicken" joke. :rainbowlaugh:

Kinda reminds me of that scene from Kung Fu Panda 2. Plus I can totally see her doing something like that with the rest of the CMC.

So those this mean the real reason she went into the Everfree with the others was to rescue her foster mother?

#49 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

>>536602 In the words of Red to his Green partner "You bastard! I'll kill you!!" You must continue!

#50 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

wow. with the way this story was reading i was almost about to think that fluttershy was into cock [intentionally bad pun] and scootaloo was a pony chicken hybrid

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