Scootaloo had always been that loner type. The person that felt like she didn't have anyone that could care for her like the others or even a purpose in life...Just two of the best friends in the world was what kept her together.
But only if she knew.
What if she knew there was someone? What if she had actually seen him, instead of her herself pretending he didn't exist? At least...that's how Stratus felt.
He was nothing but the outcast, the one that was never there. His name didn't fit his outlook, but whatever the case, he knows he has to at least make one person happy. To make them feel like she belonged.
This is his story through his eyes.
Tragedy, love, feelings of nothing but hopelessness, and the occasional scare.
Chapters (5)
Very nice man, good start. All I can think for advice is to just remember to use anypony, somepony, etc instead of anybody and somebody.
Thumbs up, looking forward to reading more
i983.photobucket.com/albums/ae315/pnutz313/videoa.gif
Well it's not ponies :P
It's like the human transition of them.
Ah, that makes sense then.
Plus, for later stuff imo, it'd be kinda awkward :P
I love this already. I DEMAND MOAR!!!
i49.photobucket.com/albums/f257/KevinMartin997/4chan%20and%20other%20crap/1291315114163.jpg
So much D'aaaaw
D'AAAWWWWW
awesomely dawwwwww
Not bad. Far from perfect, but not bad. You have my thumb and my eye for this tale.
You could probably combine the chapters.
This is good, you should continue this
1. The title of this story made me lol pretty hard
2. A little bit weird that its humanized, but whatevs, I guess it works
3. Moar. And longer chapters please.
I was supposed to be writing the third chapter tonight, but there's just a lot going on that I'd really like to not deal with
I'm sorry everypony, but I do promise it will be up tomorrow!
Also, to whomever gave me the thumbs down, I wanna know how to make this great for you and anyone.
Please let me know.
Please tell me this scoot is also homeless plz!!!
Yay homeless scoots!
I tried my best everypony! Haha
Please let me know what you think
A cute story. One thing that had me a bit confused though. Are they still ponies? Or did you humanize them? Because the way you worded it, such as when you said "person," "hands," and feet" made it sound like human characterization.
They just went to sleep just like that??!! No after party action to read about??!!! LOL jk pretty good tho.
I did humanize them, haha. I didn't see the tag the first time and I just haven't added it until now
And Lord Hood, there will be NO action like that! But there will be another form of action in the next chapter...
Well, someone had to say it
No mention of Fluttershy
?
And still plenty of diabetes inducing D'aaaaw to be had here.
There would be, but I'm kinda referencing something with it as well
This is awesome, a sweet little story. Thanks
No problem
huh, seems out of character for RD, i mean sure, I could see her being jealous, but beating the crap out of him like that? i don't know...
Looks like the Element of Loyalty became the Element of Violence. Hopefully she'll get her karma soon enough.
what a
!
RD - out of character, or add a "Dark" tag
Well if you all would wait for the next chapter, you'd see why.
Quite frankly, seeing as how it was only ONE chapter, I can't say I find it remotely necessary to add a "Dark" tag in.
yeah kinda violent for rainbow dash, i'm not jumping to conclusions until the next chapter though like you said.
"I took her hand and led her inside." HER HAND
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/259/943/694.png
Other than that a really good fiction.
Also i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/288/439/222.png
I agree with everyone else that was very OC for Rainbow Dash. But still an enjoyable chapter. Why the human tag? None of your characters are humans that I know of.
552578 That will come later im guessing
It's clear that I've stated they are in fact humans...
It's different, I get it. But I like working with it. It's comfortable for me.
554516 I understand, but seeing pony Scootaloo as your image sort of confused me. Again not to insult your fiction but it's not in the description. I personally think that if you are dealing with humans you should say that in your description so readers (like myself) don't get me confused. Also, can you give me a quote that says that they are humans?
554516 I just read the comments.
meme.aurielle.cz/faces/bad-poker-face.jpg
Forget what I said about the quote.
560687
This guy..
But to everypony that so happens to read this fic, I will not be able to upload chapters until(hopefully)after these next three weeks.
EOCs(end of course exams) are this week, along with the next two weeks being my final exams as well.
So in the meant time, please try and encourage others to read this because I'd really like more feed back.
Regards,
Cup
535697 I thought she was a pony and he was human. That would be interesting.
552558 No, he got it right. It's her hand. She's not a pony in this.
WHAT A CUNT.
Kick her ass!
Short chappy makes <<Scab>> unhappy.
Damn... What happened to Dash... Just... Damn...
Please continue to this story.It is really well-written and i cannot simply wait to read the next chapter!
hahahhaahah!! scootaloo is a chicken, priceless.
That was.... Quick