• Member Since 28th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Jul 31st, 2017

HomingAttack


You might know me from Equestria Daily. Felt like writing a story. Might write another one.

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One morning, Pinkie Pie wakes up to a startling surprise. Ponyville Jewelry has been robbed and Fluttershy is the prime suspect! With Fluttershy's trial imminent, Pinkie Pie gets the greatest lawyer she knows on the case. That lawyer's name: Pinkie Pie!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

Wow, really good for a first story!

Wow that was enjoyable.
I'm going to court in the next few weeks as a witness to the fact. Hopefully I won't crack up whilst being examined (if I do I'm blaming you. Because clearly I can't possibly be responsible for my own actions).

"And just what did you have for breakfast?" said Pinkie Pie.

Rainbow Dash stared and blinked at Pinkie Pie. "Uh…what does that have to do with anyth-"

Pinkie Pie slammed her hooves right on the witness stand, making Rainbow Dash jump back.

"I asked you a question, witness!" barked Pinkie. "What did you have for breakfast that day?"

Your Honour (or Worship), does this question have any relevance to the current preceding?
That's what I was thinking the whole time.

But this story was very well written and edited. Keep doing what you're doing.

First of all, I really liked the choice of words, but I think it has some major flaws that I didn't like. Fluttershy for example, I mean why would she ever commit burglary because of some jewel that looks like a bunny. I kinda think that's super weird. The other thing about Vinca Fuzz, I think it's like waaaay too obvious that she is the culprit, I immediately figured it out when I read that she has a bandaged hoof. About Pinkie Pie, I think she was often too annoying. Overall I didn't really enjoy this fic but it's still far away from a dislike.

Ri2

What I like most about this is that Pinkie completely and utterly failed at everything.
In most stories like this, her wacky antics and shenanigans would have helped her win. But here they didn't. Reality Ensued, and because of her idiocy she got rid of the only lawyer who could have helped Fluttershy and nearly put her in jail if Twilight hadn't saved the day like she usually did. Plus she has to suffer the consequences of pretending to be a lawyer. Well done.

Very nice for a first story. I have enjoyed the read.
Writing is decent - so I didn't stumble upon typos. (maybe there are some, tough, but then I didn't recognize them).

The story itself has a nice arc and is well told.
Though there is a bit of a flaw with the setup of Pinkie.

5461036

This is exactly the thing bothering me on this story.

Tough, it would be unlikely for Pinkie Pie to gain a complete victory, it is also unlikely for her to fail this utterly.
After all Pinkie Pie is no idiot, nor is she plain random.
It is very hard to write Pinkie Pie and hit the spot between briliant and random

The out of the hat - solution with Twilight, feels a bit like a deus ex machina to me. It feel just like you wan't to let one character shine (Twilight) at the cost of another (Pinkie)

This story would have potential for more.

But it was nice to read, after all. Have my like.

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