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There's nothing worse for a pegasus than falling.

[CHALLENGEFIC]: Under 3000 words, not about Twilight or the Princesses, and NO TALKIN'!

Featured on Equestria Daily, 7 May 2012.

First Published
2nd May 2012
Last Modified
2nd May 2012
#1 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

If its by Device, there has to be some base level of quality behind it...:derpyderp1:

#2 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

Reading later, have a favorite and a like for your convenience. :pinkiehappy:

EDIT: Read it... and wut... still good..

#3 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

6 likes and 1 read WUT

#4 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

:moustache: Masterful execution. not perfect,but good.

#5 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

I'll just like it so the challenge can be over with.

NICE!

Edit: I READ IT! IT WAS AWESOME! You need to write more stories like this.

#6 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

Woot! Dashfire! One of my favorites......:twilightblush: I mean when I read romance stories.......:scootangel:

#7 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

On the 'To-read' list:twilightsheepish:

(No Twilight or Celestia? This must have been torture! Especially with the lack 'Twilight making out with Celestia' I imagine is in this:pinkiegasp: /terrible sentence)

#8 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

Raw emotion and excellent story

Deserves feature, will get it

n
#9 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

YOU CAN DO THIS

#11 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

Damn, I was freaking out for a bit there. BUT SHE LIVED!

#12 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

>>534638 10 LIKES AND 1 READ WTF IS GOING ON HERE!

#13 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

>>534649

I think it takes a little while to start recording reads.

It was just posted, give it a minute

#15 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

"Doesn't the sky understand that it was better to die than to be killed?"

Wat? :rainbowhuh:

#16 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

more awesomeness!

I love your writing!

All this lack of talking must've really made it difficult on you, didn't it?

#17 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

In before featured.

>>534650

Dam you, you are too good.:twilightangry2:

#18 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

Another good read. A bit hard to follow at times, but I can chalk that up to Spitfire panicking.

#19 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

>>534689

>All this lack of talking must've really made it difficult on you, didn't it?

#20 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

Oh, this is just genius. Well done, sir.

#21 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

This is going into the feature box only because it's the fic's purpose, not because of it's quality.

#22 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

>>534702

sooo...

just a little difficult, huh? :twilightsmile:

please don't kill me :rainbowderp:

#23 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

damn it. Quit being awesome :<

#24 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

>>534687

It means it's better to die on your own terms.

#25 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

Great job here, device. Love the insight into a pegasus' mindset, love how you bleed the twin meanings of 'falling' through the narrative, and I love the complexity you managed to establish in such a short wordlength. Challenge: MET.

#26 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

That really was an impressive story, It felt like I was there in the back seat listening to her problems getting a new perspective on a pony I thought I had figured. it was bittersweet but in the end I want to see what the skies are like for them in the future.:rainbowkiss:

#27 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

Interesting story. I kept wondering if Spitfire was falling physically, emotionally, or both. Was that intentionally left unclear, or am I just slow to get it? Nonetheless, thumbs up.

#28 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

>>534802

I think it had to do with physically falling from the sky and falling in love.

#29 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

you seem....famous.

#30 · 212w, 13h ago · · ·

I guess.

#31 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

>>534812

It's hard not to be as I am secretly a clone of lauren faust

#32 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

Well done as always, no idea how he managed to pull it off, but DH did. Very well done. Deff worth reading.

#33 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

>>534827

My theory is that you made a 'Faustian' bargain for the sheer evocative impact of each story.  Either that, or you're just really talented and put a lot of work into it all, but what are the odds of that?  :derpyderp1:  

#34 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

Read a DH story before it was featured, without even realizing it was DH.

Feel so hipster.

Amazing read! I was feeling for Spitfire, and her betrayal...

#35 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

This was pretty darn brilliant. I really enjoyed the little insights into pegasus psychology scattered throughout, and I am absolutely, bitterly, only-half-kiddingly jealous of your description of Dash's first Rainboom (from Spitfire's perspective).

#36 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

Excellent use of imagery, and nice emotional content. Well worth reading! :rainbowdetermined2:

#37 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

Goddamit, another DH story.

Guess it's time to warm up the thumbs-up button...

#38 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

Nicely done. This'll get a feature for sure. (Of course, it probably would anyways regardless of quality, but you still pulled it off!)

#39 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

This was a confusing read. I read most words at least twice and I'm still not sure how it ended.

#40 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

>>534934

Spitfire hit ground go boom

It's more a description of her emotional state and the situation I invented to cause it than a "this happened, then that happened" story

#41 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

>>534941

Yes, I got that part, but then she seemingly still moved, which would imply that she didn't go boom all that much. That's the confusing thing.

#42 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

>>534951

Yeah no, she didn't like die or anything if that's what you mean

bounced off some clouds on her way down, sucked up some of her inertia

and ponies have been demonstrated to be pretty resilient to fall damage in-show, otherwise Rainbow Dash's favorite way to enter and exit the library (the second story window) would mean we only had five main cast members

#43 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

Wow. You just gave a whole new point of depth and perspective to Spitfire. Maybe I should have waited to read it when I'm a little more awake, but I'm a bit confused as to what actually was happening around Spitfire when it wasn't focusing on her thoughts. What I picked up was that she flew away from Dash because she was upset (understatement, I know) and hurt her wing so she fell. And she actually hits the ground at the end, and Dash is there? :applejackconfused:

But even though I'm confused I still enjoyed it immensely. You should write more stuff like this. :pinkiesmile:

#44 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

Dang, dude. This was another work of art, Heretic style. Surprised you actually survived the "no dialogue" part of the challenge. Actually, scratch that, I'm not really too surprised. I figured you'd be able to pull it off somehow. Also, I'd like to just say how much I loved how you attributed the sensation of "falling" to so many different things so well. You're just built for this deep(er than most) writing stuff, aren't you?

~Zaiker42

#45 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

>>534989

Those are some loooow-hanging clouds

> and ponies have been demonstrated to be pretty resilient to fall damage in-show, otherwise Rainbow Dash's favorite way to enter and exit the library (the second story window) would mean we only had five mane cast members

but I guess you have a point here. But yeah, I expected her to die.

#46 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

>>535006 This.

This is actually the first DH story I have read. And I must say, it was well executed, and I was really digging the emotional parts. (That is, the whole thing :scootangel: )

Bravo. I'm new to the fandom, haven't really been around this site much, so I have no idea what challenge you were talking about. But under 3000 words and no talking? Don't think I could do that as masterfully as you.

#48 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

>>535001

Spitfire breaks the conventional wisdom and lets the newbie (== Dash) do the closing trick for the finale of their show, because sonic rainboom is just that awesome. Dash fails, blames herself, Spitfire can't face her to tell her she expected her to fail, runs out, hits the storm. Dash being there at the end points out to her runnig out as well to chase Spitfire, but it's not explicit.

#49 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

>>535026

Well, we've seen Dash hanging out on clouds as low as 20-30 feet in the air. So is it that really surprising for there to be some low clouds in a world where the residents choose where they go? They literally manufacture the clouds in their cloud city and then place them accordingly. :unsuresweetie:

#50 · 212w, 12h ago · · ·

>>535054

But the storm wasn't manufactured, at least not directly. Otherwise someone as experienced as Spitfire wouldn't have hit it head-on.

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