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There's nothing worse for a pegasus than falling.
[CHALLENGEFIC]: Under 3000 words, not about Twilight or the Princesses, and NO TALKIN'!
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device heretic
Joined December 2011
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Romance
Image: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSqs3y_Him2eeFeC-JzBbrghrtQQBN837tIL1pUaVPFqpPy3id9sQ
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device heretic
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Joined December 2011
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Masterful execution. not perfect,but good.
I mean when I read romance stories.......
/terrible sentence)
>All this lack of talking must've really made it difficult on you, didn't it?
Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4224-twilight_nuts.jpg
Yeah no, she didn't like die or anything if that's what you mean
bounced off some clouds on her way down, sucked up some of her inertia
and ponies have been demonstrated to be pretty resilient to fall damage in-show, otherwise Rainbow Dash's favorite way to enter and exit the library (the second story window) would mean we only had five main cast members
Wow. You just gave a whole new point of depth and perspective to Spitfire. Maybe I should have waited to read it when I'm a little more awake, but I'm a bit confused as to what actually was happening around Spitfire when it wasn't focusing on her thoughts. What I picked up was that she flew away from Dash because she was upset (understatement, I know) and hurt her wing so she fell. And she actually hits the ground at the end, and Dash is there? 
But even though I'm confused I still enjoyed it immensely. You should write more stuff like this. 
Dang, dude. This was another work of art, Heretic style. Surprised you actually survived the "no dialogue" part of the challenge. Actually, scratch that, I'm not really too surprised. I figured you'd be able to pull it off somehow. Also, I'd like to just say how much I loved how you attributed the sensation of "falling" to so many different things so well. You're just built for this deep(er than most) writing stuff, aren't you?
~Zaiker42
Those are some loooow-hanging clouds
> and ponies have been demonstrated to be pretty resilient to fall damage in-show, otherwise Rainbow Dash's favorite way to enter and exit the library (the second story window) would mean we only had five mane cast members
but I guess you have a point here. But yeah, I expected her to die.
>>535006 This.
This is actually the first DH story I have read. And I must say, it was well executed, and I was really digging the emotional parts. (That is, the whole thing 
)
Bravo. I'm new to the fandom, haven't really been around this site much, so I have no idea what challenge you were talking about. But under 3000 words and no talking? Don't think I could do that as masterfully as you.
>low hanging clouds
Lots of those in Equestria. Behold:
\
Image: http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110806212819/mlp/images/thumb/f/f2/TwilightDash_Raincloud.png/830px-TwilightDash_Raincloud.pngSpitfire breaks the conventional wisdom and lets the newbie (== Dash) do the closing trick for the finale of their show, because sonic rainboom is just that awesome. Dash fails, blames herself, Spitfire can't face her to tell her she expected her to fail, runs out, hits the storm. Dash being there at the end points out to her runnig out as well to chase Spitfire, but it's not explicit.
Well, we've seen Dash hanging out on clouds as low as 20-30 feet in the air. So is it that really surprising for there to be some low clouds in a world where the residents choose where they go? They literally manufacture the clouds in their cloud city and then place them accordingly. 
So. She... wanted to fall... but didn't want to fall? And then she didn't want Dash to.... not save her?
>> except come home with me tonight
>> they could be friends now
So... is it platonic, or are you referencing shipping? I'm not sure what you're trying to say with the entire story. I'll admit you had your boundaries, but I'm disappointed after the mind-bending, realistic, beautifully written Temptress story.
Youre a great writer, but you're like Skrillex. He's still excellent, but people hate him more now because he's become all mainstream and brosteppy. Plus, like you, I have not seen humility from him once. I like humble writers, like a lot of people. You're basically in power here, and win great power comes great pride. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. Just keep in mind that you're awesome, but don't let it fucking go to your head.
Whatever anyone does or says, I must be emerald and keep my color.
~ Marcus Aurelius, 24 BC
"So. She... wanted to fall... but didn't want to fall? And then she didn't want Dash to.... not save her?
>> except come home with me tonight
>> they could be friends now
So... is it platonic, or are you referencing shipping?"
Is it you who is confused...or the main character?
Image: http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/nope.gif
At this point, I think it is rather credible if his ego is about the size of France. He is an amazing author, and more importantly, often people only get any kind of actual emotional support from people they only know as a virtual presence. So fucking what if he isn't humble? He does toss flowers around skipping and singing I'm the best (well... not very often), he just takes a understandable, if slightly irrational, amount of pride in what he does.
Image: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSqs3y_Him2eeFeC-JzBbrghrtQQBN837tIL1pUaVPFqpPy3id9sQWhy is there no Spitfire emotes? 
Great story, by the way! 
Man, that description of the Rainboom was delicious. I seriously got chills there. You totally earned this during Eternal, by the way, so it's a little late, but I'm proud to present you with the prestigious and exclusive* Shellsh0cker Award for Excellence in Prose.
*Actually exclusive, not actually prestigious.
The Man Who Fell From The Sky - Candlemass
A device heretic story deserves more than the cursory "hey this has the same title as a song, lets go with that" treatment.
A little hard to follow the time shifts sometimes, but the raw emotion from Spifire is, well, an outstanding portrayal and really captures her fear of falling and failing.
Thunderstruck.
Interesting choice of word, but for me, the excess repetition makes it lose the effect it could have had, if you'd placed it more carefully, the impact of the word could be greatly increased.
Otherwise, a terrific insight into the psyche of pegasi.
Frostwyrm
I loved the look at the emotional impact of falling on pegasi. But my favorite part was, for whatever reason, the part about Dash doing everything 110% -- even napping. Also:
It was the simple joy of being in her that made Dash so fascinating.
An excellent example of italics-for-emphasis being not only stylish, but necessary for proper understanding.
It was the simple joy of being in her that made Dash so fascinating.
I'm going to Hell.
I wish this story could be continued, even though I know it's just a one-shot.
DH tends to make the most 'daww' inducing stories ever, and this one was no exception. So, even though it's a one shot and a challange fic, I do hope he gives the story a possible second chapter. Or maybe even turns it into a multi-chapter fic.
Image: http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lie68zd7fh1qzfkvgo1_500.gif
Well, I'll be perfectly honest.
Not a fan of this one.
You seem to project that philosophy and relationship building are your forté, however it suffers dramatically without the usual intelectual character (typically Twilight/ Celestia) and dialogue. I'll admit, you had quite the handicap, but it simply wasn't a favorite (guess it wasn't supposed to be!) Don't get me wrong, I simply adore Eternal, but this fic isn't similar to it at all, so I really shouldn't be reading it. (Darn featured box, tricking me again!)
Anyway, carry on.
This is an excellent story, Device. Let's get that out of the way. I got lost a little in the middle, but soon figured out the sequence of events, and it's an interesting layering of imagery with reality.
However, I'm not certain you succeeded on the "No Talking" front. The flashbacks to Spitfire saying things to Soarin' or Rainbow Dash would technically count as talking, I'd say.
(On the other hand, I believe the challenge was originally phrased as "no dialogue," and there's certainly no dialogue in this story, so there you go.)
Certainly. It's easily understandable that it isn't that kind of fic, due to the challenge.
I wonder though, did this get featured from the story's merit, or the author's?
I can easily say that I do like a lot of the work you do (yes, that includes The Wayward Night, wherever it went.), but I wasn't aware this story was up until FimFic flashed it in my face. Interesting how that keeps happening. 
(Completely unrelated: Why is there no Luna emoticons? WHY?)
>I wonder though, did this get featured from the storie's merit, or the author's?
As to that, all I can say is that I didn't half-ass it. I wouldn't have uploaded it if I didn't want people to see it...I think it's a fine story for what it is.
I would have done it differently if my format wasn't constrained. That I will say.
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