This story is a sequel to The Tree of Life
It has been ten years after Nightmare Moon's banishment. And every year the ponies celebrate Princess Celestia's victory against Nightmare Moon with the Summer Sun Celebration. Celestia on the other hoof, hates the festival but participates in it to keep her subject's minds off of the deaths of the ponies dying in their nightmares.
Meanwhile, the pitch-black creature arrives to Equestria and sets its eyes on finishing off the pony race by attacking the Equestrian capital, Canterlot.
With her sister banished to the moon, Celestia believes she will have to face the threat alone. But an unexpected ally will come to her aid to protect the pony kingdom.
The OC tag is there for the OCs that will play small roles in the story.
Proofread and edited by: themouthofmush
I looked and thought this would be a Kirby crossover based on the name.
I was sorely disappointed to see it wasn't.
this story is off to a good start, though there are a lot of grammatical and spelling based errors throughout. i would recommend asking someone to proofread your chapters just so a good chunk of said errors could be found beforehand.
5880318 Yeah I tried my best to find any errors, but I guess I not that great at finding them. I also made a thread on the finding an editor group, but no one has responded to it. I'm hoping that someone will offer to help me edit the story if any reads this.
5880222 what made you think that it was a Kirby crossover?
5880393
Kirby: Nightmare in Dream Land
Nightmare in Equestria
See what I mean?
5880872 oh well my bad. lol
both of them are wrong. Princess' is for when you're talking about something the princess has and princess just means one of them. It's supposed to be Princesses. That's plural (more than one).
It's supposed to be: salad." Said
The comma after the quote and then not capitalizing the first word to the sentence that followed. Never put a comma after a quote and always capitalize the first word in a sentence.
When there's a quote in the middle of a paragraph make sure to press space before the quote so it doesn't look like the sentence before it was meant to be a quote.
Also - When starting a quote, make sure not to press space after the quotation mark. You have a lot of these mistakes scattered throughout.
Correction: him, "Brave,
One of those doesn't really need to be there.
All-in-all - Interesting idea for a story.
6031241 Thanks for pointing out some of the mistakes I made. I self edited it myself and I knew that I missed some things, but I can't always find them. I will definitely fix them when I have a chance tomorrow. Again thank you.
The comma is wrong (period instead) and there should be a "He" in there.
Correction: This is the sixth pony this year to have died like this. He thought to himself.
*want*
The quotation mark - comma thing again.
Correction: “Ah, yes. Please come in." Gestured Starswirl to the stallion in.
Again, the thing with quotes and commas.
Correction: Stone?" Answered the stallion.
There's an accidental quotation mark in there.
Correction: At least something good came out of this. Thought Starswirl.
Also - About your GDoxs of the next chapter. It's in 'View Only' mode which means that one can only view it. Make sure it's in 'Edit Mode' so one can look at it and edit any mistakes.