91 - Not Cool
Long Road escorted Rarity to her room, but left her there. "It will be a moment, Lady Rarity. There are important matters to discuss with your Queen." He left Rarity with a quizzical expression as he trotted towards the throne room at a brisk jog. When he drew close, he could see there were several other ponies waiting their turn to be seen in the day court and frowned.
Considering the situation, he approached one of the golden-armored guards, "Good day. I have urgent news for... Princess Celestia. It needs to reach her at earliest opportunity."
The guard looked back at the curiously armored donkey, but decorum required he not ask too many questions. He just nodded and slipped into the court hall. A few moments he returned and gestured with a toss of his head for Long Road to follow. He was placed at the front of the line, and with good timing. Already, Long Road could hear Celestia finishing in hearing the grievances of the pony in front of him.
He trotted up as the pegasus vacated the room, replacing her. Celestia looked to him and gave a nod, "Guest, I'm told you have news for me. Does this involve Twilight?" At his nod, she flared a wing out, "Everypony, please step out, court is in recess for fifteen minutes."
There was much grumbling, but the ponies complied, vacating the hall in an orderly fashion. Two guards remained by Celestia, but she waved them away next, "I will be fine." Soon it was just Long Road and her, "Do go on."
Long Road took a slow breath, "Your student, fellow princess, and, I think, friend, is suffering terribly. It may be too late to prevent her from walking this dark and awful path, but you could prevent it from happening again."
Celestia rose a brow delicately, "And how would I do this, sir Long Road?"
Long Road shuffled lightly, uncomfortable in the direct gaze of the godling, "Take on your proper mantle. Even if you refuse to be Queen, you are still a god. Accept that and let people learn to draw on your might."
Celestia's wings were soon out, an angry expression on her delicate features as she began to scowl at Long Road, but he continued, "It will require dedication, time, and strength of will for your ponies to channel your might. This is no simple gift, given to make their lives easy and care free. Any practitioner of divine magic knows it requires all the time and dedication of the arcane schools of magic. You allow your people to study magic, do you not?"
Celestia nodded, though it was a stiff motion. Long Road wobbled a hoof, "It's the same thing. But there is another side. As they learn to focus your energy, you will also grow grander. You will be more capable of defending them against threats too awful for them." He set his hoof down, "No pony deserves to go what Twilight is going through."
"He speaks truth," came a new voice before Luna trotted in from one of the doors in the back. "Forgive me, dear sister, but I have taken a worshipper, three, in fact."
Celestia wheeled on Luna, "I forbade it! Sister, how could you? We can't coddle our ponies like foals."
Luna shook her head slowly, "The first pony I took under wing reacted most unfavorably. One of her legs shriveled under the power, but she was unturned from her conviction. She bore her mark with pride. She wears my mark proudly around her neck, and brings about small miracles in the refugee camps. I can feel it, Tia, every time she calls on my power."
Celestia slumped in place, "That is a terrible price... and the others?"
Luna canted her head, "They were drawn by the tales spread by the first. They were bright eyed souls, eager to learn before me. Being cautious, I did not fill them with the power of the moon, and tried to show them how to do it on their own. It is taking much longer, and they still train, but they are learning and can already perform small tricks. But there is a part I did not mention, dear sister." At Celestia gesture to continue, Luna did so, "None of them are unicorns. As our friend, sir Long Road, stated, it is a matter of will and conviction. Two earth ponies and a pegasus have laid their lives before me and work with all their heart to ease the suffering of their peers. It is not easy, it is not a simple gift. All I am doing is handing them a tool, they must learn to swing it and use it well."
Celestia turned back to Long Road, "Tell me, why are you not at Twilight's side? Surely she needs you more than ever before."
Long Road flinched back from that, and began to sink to the floor, "Forgive me goddess, for I have sinned. I gave my services to another while she was dead and gone, and the prospect of following her darkened soul is too much to bear." He raised a hoof to brush at his whitened snout, "I was not this old when I met Lady Sparkle. I gave what remained of my youth for her. I bled and drowned for her and braved fiercest flame and sharpened spear for her sake. I died once for her, at the hands of a foe far too terrible for any of us to face. I... grow too weary. I thought I would die valiantly on the battlefield, but all I want now is peace. If you think me less for this, curse my name, strike me down... I deserve it and more. I have failed Lady Sparkle in the end."
There was quiet in the hallway before a hoof moved under Long Road's slumped chin and lifted it up to look at Celestia, "No warrior can fight forever. I will wish you well, sir Long Road. You have given me much to think about."
The doors to the court burst open with Rainbow Dash between them, "Long Road!" she bellowed, charging at him even with two guards trailing after her. Celestia extended a wing to cover the fallen Long and intercept the tackle of Rainbow. "Let me at him! This jerk just abandoned Twilight, for Rarity!"
The guards caught up to Rainbow and held her back in strong hooves, though she thrashed and wriggled about, making holding her quite a chore for both of them.
"Rainbow Dash," spoke Luna, "You are out of place."
Celestia shook her head, "I didn't know it was with Rarity... this will cause issues." She rose to her hooves fully, "I must go. Inform those waiting for court that it is cancelled for the remainder of the day. See to their housing in the city if they require it." She strode past Rainbow and Long Road before, with a flash, she vanished.
Rarity sat in her room with dampened cheeks and running makeup, working diligently on staining the plush pillow she held tightly in her magic. When the room flashed bright, she only barely saw it through the fabric, but it was enough to make her look up and see Celestia standing there. She rolled up quickly, trying to look presentable and failing entirely with her tear soaked snout. "Your Highness! I... didn't expect you."
Celestia tilted her head at Rarity, deciding to let her speak instead of digging, "You must know why I am here."
"I... do..." said Rarity, ears sagging. "I'm so sorry... I was living in lies! I wanted... I wanted her to be happy... I feigned courtship with him, hoping to draw our precious little Twilight out of her shell, but she barely took notice. The more nice things I said, the more I realized they weren't all lies and deception... He is a gentlecolt." She flopped onto the bed, looking broken, "But I took him. I took him from her. I'm the worst friend ever, but... I want him." She began beating on the bed with her hooves, "And now she's going back to that awful place to try and fix things and I'm not even by her side! You probably want to throw me in the dungeon, and I deserve it!" The sobs started fresh and shaking.
Celestia softly brushed at her snout with the tips of her wings, brushing away some of the tears, "You know who you should be talking to."
Rarity flinched, "But... how? Surely she hates me. She'll hate me forever! I... It can't be forgiven... What I've done."
Celestia smiled gently, "Twilight is a gentle soul, even as she is. It is all the more clear. At its most naked, her soul looked at me with pleading and innocent eyes. If you throw yourself before her and ask for forgiveness, and mean it..."
Rarity slowly sat up and slid to the ground, "She may give it... Or she may throw me off the side of Canterlot. I suppose I deserve either." Drawing in a loud snort of snot filled crying, she strode to the door, "I won't let her go without saying something, anything. I can't leave her on such a heartless note!"
Twilight sat besides Spike, looking as impatient as a ghost could get. "Where did she go?"
Spike shrugged, "Rainbow said she forgot something in the castle and took off, you know her. I bet she'll be back in a moment."
Twilight softly grumbled and began to pace before she froze in place. galloping towards her was a familiar white unicorn, her face a devastated map of mascara and tears. "Twilight!" cried the unicorn, Rarity, as she came closer, "Twilight!"
Twilight shuddered and turned away from Rarity as she drew close enough to talk.
"Please... Don't be like that, Twilight, please," said Rarity, stepping to within a few hoofs of Twilight. "I... came to say goodbye, but I hope not forever."
Twilight looked over her shoulder, "Not forever? Rarity... Do you even know what you did?"
Rarity sank at Twilight's hooves, "I'm the worst friend ever! It all happened so quickly, why... you had died, and it hurt. I couldn't even imagine a life without your adorable smile. Just thinking about it was... I couldn't do it darling, and he was there... That donkey I had worked myself into loving. I grabbed him like a mare drowning grabs a life preserver and I... I'm sorry. Truly, terribly, forever sorry."
Twilight scowled at Rarity, but it was just... not in her nature to keep being angry forever, and the expression slowly softened, "Why, Rarity? I mean... OK, you fell in love with Long Road." She flipped a wing out, "Fine! I'm not that good at romance anyway, but... now you won't go with me, when I need you the most. I can find another stallion, but I thought you were a friend."
Rarity rolled her ears back, "I... Darling, you want me to throw away everything right when I can finally stop being at war. While you were gone, we were under attack. Things are just getting under control." She sank her head again, "I'm tired, Twilight. If you hate me for this, I understand... but I don't like it. I want my Twilight back."
Twilight took a breath, though no air moved, then she thrust a hoof at Rarity, the spectral hoof hovering barely an inch from her white snout, "You don't get off that easy, Rarity! If you're not coming with me, you still have to work if you want me to ever forgive you. There are still disturbances across Equestria. I expect you girls to help closing them. First, help Pinkie with Fluttershy. I know you two are close, she needs you, maybe even more than I do. Once she's back on her hooves, I had better hear about how amazing you three do with fixing things around here. Maybe..." she leaned in, replacing her hoof with her face, "Maybe! If the stories I hear are good enough, we can put this all behind us."
Rarity nodded slowly before she gathered herself up, standing, "Equestria will be a safe place again before I take my break, dear." Her face broke into a soft smile, "Thank you."
Twilight ruffled her feathers, "Don't thank me yet. You have a lot of work ahead of you."
Rarity's horn shone as she gently embraced Twilight in her magic, "It will be worth it... to be friends again."
Twilight's stern expression broke under the embrace, "Rarity..."
Rarity trotted off with a new energy, looking determined. Twilight turned to look at Spike, "So?"
Spike raised a brow, "So?"
"Am I being a pushover?" asked Twilight.
Spike shrugged softly, "A little, welcome to the club. For what it's worth, I don't think she meant to hurt you. I think she's just, you know, not thinking."
Twilight snorted softly in an amused way, "So... what about you?"
"What about me?" asked Spike.
"Still in love with her?" she asked, circling around him through the air, her hooves free of the ground.
"Naw," he replied with a dismissive wave of a claw, "She falls in love too often. Uh... can you keep a secret?"
Twilight plopped down in front of him, clapping her hooves silently, "Yes!"
Spike leaned in, "Soft's kinda growing on me. I mean... she hasn't been so clingy, and she's nice, and I think she's growing up, and she still wants... me. Is that bad? I mean... she's a half pony, and young."
Twilight pointed at Spike, "You're young. If you feel this way, I say go with it. She obviously loves you, she's declared it enough times." She suddenly giggled, "Next time you see her, kiss her, right on the lips. You'll make her week."
Spike blushed hard at the suggestion, "Oh! I'm not sure... I'm ready for that."
Twilight savored dealing with Spike's innocent love life, forgetting her own, "Then hug her! A nice innocent hug. I bet she'll like it."
Spike nodded slowly and uncertainly, "Maybe..."
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It's not proper decorum for guards to ask questions of an armed person who wants to see the princess? For a more mortal sovereign, that would be a very dangerous idea.
You see, Tia? This is why you shouldn't reject ideas you don't fully understand. Divine magic isn't doing your ponies' work for them. Not until they hit the really high levels, anyway.
(Still, there may be unforeseen consequences here. After all, the gods of Everglow don't live among their worshipers, and there are doubtless reasons for that beyond simple preference.)
Very glad to see Rarity didn't let Twilight go with resentment in her heart. That's never a good idea with the undead. Twilight needs all the positivity that she can get right now. Well, other than the kind that will physically harm her.
And I definitely understand Rarity's reasons for not going to Everglow. Equestria has been losing a war until now. She's an artist, not a warrior, martial arts training notwithstanding.
Also, two typos to terminate:
Long Road may find the title odd, but it still needs to be capitalized when used that way.
Similarly, Twilight might be a miffed at him, but that's no excuse for a lowercase r.
5652632 It helps that it is known that Long Road is a knight and in Celestia's favor. Capitalization fixed, even if Long Road is still grumbling about it.
I want to see Rainbow hunt down Rarity. Brawler vs Rogue, GO!
5652657
It really doesn't help that Long Road is stubborn as a mule, does it?
5652632
Generally, in D&D type settings, Gods don't live amongst their worshippers because of each other, not because it's inherently bad for their worshippers. When gods fight, innocent mortals can suffer; warring through proxy via mortal faithful is still tragic, but at least they're not destroying entire cities-worth of bystanders.
Since the established gods of Equestria number three (maybe four, if you think Cadance counts), and none of them are at cross-purposes with each other or at all inclined to struggle for belief, that danger is pretty much a moot here.
5652720 Cadance ranks at Twilight's level, being an elevated, but still mortal, pony. Admirable, powerful, but still mortal. The only confirmed god-rank creatures are: Celestia, Luna, Chrysalis, Tirek, and Discord. Two of those are pretty beat down at the moment, and the only other not-royal-sister is 'reformed' and isn't causing trouble. He'll probably be handy for clearing out the remaining trouble, now that they've got a hang of the process.
now this is more like it. harmony fixed^_^
* Luna learned Divine Source *
Usually, what level does a magic caster have to get to deliberately be able to pull off what Twilights done? Take Necromancy?
Looks like the maths and tech Ive been looking at is Harry Dresden Magic level, as in Outside.
5652984 Look at the create undead spell.
But be ready to catch her if she faints. She seems to have partially come to terms with her unrequited love, so it will probably be quite a shock. Letting your girl fall on the floor is really unromantic. Poor Soft Mane.
Regarding Equestrian deities, it seems that if Tia and Luna were to go for the whole worship-in-exchange-for-divine-powers thing, they would have to distance themselves somewhat from politics or things could get really weird. Also, they don't really seem powerful enough. Twilight's season 4 power level seems to rival theirs in many areas and she does not overshadow her unicorn form by all that much. So while Celestia may be the most powerful equine in the world (except under special circumstances) it's only by a relatively small factor (maybe 2-10 times a top-tier unicorn rather than 1000 times). Discord is the only creature that really has god-like powers. While he has not done much that a group of unicorns couldn't do, his power seems to trump the alicorns (at least when he's being true to his chaotic nature). No one can do anything unless he lets them, which is an important aspect of being a god: authority. Celestia has never shown the ability to shut down other ponies' magic without using some sort of counterspell. Discord shut her down so he could play with the element bearers, and he didn't even snap his fingers for that.
5653540 Restraint. I admit it is throwing my own take on it, but I am going with the 'Royal sisters are way too invested in Celestia's ideal of restraint' thing. Since Celestia decided that power corrupts and she wants to be the best pony princess ever, she doesn't do what she could do. Luna is not seeing eye to eye on this aspect and is willing to experiment a little. Having an oracle and two clerics-in-training is doing wonders for her self esteem and having them call her their goddess is... well it's very soothing to the oft-neglected princess. She could get used to this.
5652732
Chrysalis and Tirek both attained that level of power only by stealing it from mortals, which casts serious doubt on how powerful Tia and Luna are. Discord's power is wildly variable, which might mean that in spite of representing chaos, he has some hidden rules restricting him.
5653567 Everglow gods have rules restricting their actions, but gods they remain. Surely any of them could snap their hooves (They're gods, they could figure out how hoof snapping works) and restore Twilight to her living self, with a tall glass of fizzy drink to sip and a dozen nubile stallions to see to her every wish, but that would break a lot of rules.
5653565 Restraint doesn't explain Chryssy knocking her out with a little help from Shining Armor. If Shiny's power was enough to even notice, then the whole group of winged unicorns are not all that special.
5653574 I can't explain Dues Ex Rainbow Cannon. You got me there.
5653579 I suspect a lot of bronies were staring with their mouths open at that point, but Celestia was pretty harshly dethroned as a deity with that one incident.
5653584 It disrupts a lot of things, but it allows for fairy tale endings with love conquering all! (yay...)
I choose to set it aside for my head canons because it's kinda stupid, but that's my humble little opinion. You'll note a lack of 'Hey, why don't we use that rainbow power to fix this!' in this fic as well.
5653573 I think Discord is the best fit for the Everglow Deity rules. His behavior is so erratic that all of the times he was "defeated" could have actually been intentional. Given his trickster nature, he might prod someone into doing something by pretending to be a badguy and opposing them just to convince them they were on the side of good. If you consider him to be CN instead of CE, all of his extreme mood changes can be interpreted as complicated attempts at manipulation.
5653599 There's a reason the chaos god of Everglow is CN, not CE. He's in it for the lols and to shake people out of their comfort zones, not really out for blood. If he wanted that, there are so many more direct ways to do it and few could really stop him.
Mane Six> We have the elements!
Discord throws one with a bare flick into the nearest wall in a gorey display.
Mane Five> ...
Discord> You can start begging now.
5652850 I was enjoying the story actually, but now I'm all caught up and I have to wait till the next chapter. I could be wrong but, it looks like you update once every other day, which is just freaking awesome.
5654138 Every day. 2k words is the target.
ah good old rainbow the only one other than twilight who had the right reaction to rarity throwing twilights heart under a bus
5653540 You should check out the Ponyfinder forums; I started a thread there regarding the idea of Celestia and Luna being D&D/PF-style deities, and there's a good conversation going at the moment.
5653606 Although, actually, Twilight had an anti-discord force field up before she started charging the elements that time. So it might not have been *that* easy.
He could have easily killed them in the maze though.
5652695 We'll see when he's dealing with his future kids!
5652720
For a really good example of why gods don't usually hang with mortals, look up a little incident in the Forgotten Realms setting called The Time of Troubles.
I'm kind of glad the party's losing Long Road. I never liked him much.
I mean, seriously, he's a donkey.
I'll admit that gave his character more depth than if he was just another stallion, but still...
After reading the story up to this point and finding it quite enjoyable, I thought I'd stop and leave a comment to that effect. All in all it has been a pretty fund read - my personal experience with Pathfinder isn't very extensive, but it's enough to enjoy this story, and you don't seem to be writing in a manner that requires the reader to be intimately familiar with it, which is definitely a plus.
The adventures of Twilight and Spike in Everglow have been entertaining, and I have found the exploration of Everglow to be quite interesting - and watching the two stumble through it - and eventually get in to the spirit of things - a very entertaining experience. Twilight definitely would have loved Artificing, and Spike's overall growth (and unwillingness to be relegated back to "sidekick" role after having tasted the front row seats) has felt natural as well. Your Pinkie is pretty good as well, so overall it feels like you have done the characters (mostly - I will get to that later) justice. Rainbow and Rarity feel quite in-line with their personalities as well.
Celestia ... whho boy, I want to see where you will take her character. Because while I can definitely see her wishing for her ponies to find something else to take faith in besides herself ... simply sitting on her flank while her country turns in to anarchy all around her, while she (presumably, if you indeed rank her at god-tier) has the power to stop it and her subjects are suffering meanwhile? Not the most endearing of moves there, and I guess the same goes for Luna since she hasn't done anything either. I hope that Twilight gets back to them on this, because she did say as much when she proclaimed she disagrees with Celestia on this. But yeah, I wonder if Celestia will get her wake-up call or not.
As for Long Road (whose actions are largely what prompted me to stop reading and start writing this) ... well, I can safely say he is now my most disliked character in this story, and I'd love to see the proverbial karma roll up and kick him in the groin. I fairly liked him before, but I guess this whole ordeal has been his first serious test of character ... and his true colors have shown as result.
You see, I have no issues with him ending up with Rarity ... but not like this. Jumping in to Rarity's hooves while Twilight's body hasn't yet finished cooling in the next room over, while knowing that bringing her back is an option - nay, an inevitability? And then proudly doing his whole "dead shouldn't interfere with the living" speech a few minutes later, throwing aside his oath and promise to Twilight and not be willing to even see her safely return and rather scamper over to Rarity's side, even though she doesn't conceivably need a Knight? I am very, very surprised he didn't end up missing half his teeth two seconds flat after he finished doing his Lawful Stupid speech, because I would have expected Rainbow to lay in to him with all the fury of Loyalty spurned - and Spike as well for that matter.
Indeed, his true character shone through here - rather than loving being a Knight, I feel like he is more in love with the idea of being a Knight - and for all of his talk about how Twilight had stolen his heart, I think rather than being actually in love with her, he was enamored with the idea of a pretty mare - or as he said himself in Everglow - "a pretty thing" - being in love with him, the donkey of a paladin who never got the respect he felt he deserved
He got enamored with the idea of being a dashing Knight and having a pretty lady be interested in him ... so he just dumped Twilight, her slightly more problematic affections and being her Knight when those things started requiring actual effort, and simply turned to the next "pretty thing" that was throwing itself in to his hooves with much less effort. And he did so during Rarity's hour of emotional distress, when she wasn't necessarily thinking all that clearly - because she actually thought Twilight to be dead and gone for good. He knew better, yet jumped in to Rarity's proverbial bed anyway at the first chance. A disgraceful individual indeed - and I hope that catches up to him in some painful ways or two.
Rarity ... I don't even blame Rarity that much here. She is in grief, she wasn't necessarily thinking straight (as she thought Twilight was lost for good) and when in emotional pain people tend to latch on to whatever is closest and some things they wouldn't otherwise. Yes, doing so while Twilight's body is still warm just down the hallway is pretty distasteful regardless, but I'm willing to cut her some slack here because of the circumstances.
Her refusal to go with Twilight though, especially after she learned Twilight still yet has a chance and contributing to robbing Twilight of one of her allies (even if Twilight might be better without Long Road in the long run after his behavior in this chapter)? That's pretty damning in my eyes, even if shame plays a large part in her action (at least it better be doing so) and makes it hard to look Twilight in the eye. Still, Twilight and her immediate fate are the important factors during the moment, and if she honestly would rather stay home than go and help, despite it being a literal matter of life and death for Twilight ... that's where my opinion on her drops. Rainbow better be giving her the stink eye for a long time to come as well.
Fluttershy I don't fault - she got essentially tortured and obviously needs to recover as result, but Rarity? *shakes head*
So all in all ... Long Road proved himself to be a more shallow individual than I thought, and while I previously liked the idea of him and Twilight getting together (might have been an interesting way to start combat the hinted-at "donkies are second class citizens" issue if a Princess took one as a consort), or even an actual love triangle developing eventually ... now I think Twilight is much better off without someone like Long Road - I'm sure a stallion will come along eventually who will be truly ready to stand by her side and love her for no other reason than being in love with her, rather than being half-driven by the thought of someone-anyone pretty-being in love with them.
That aside, the one character I'm having a slight issue enjoying is actually Twilight - it's not too much of a thing, but she has felt ... overly timid and useless throughout the fic. It has allowed Spike to shine and be the real hero of this story so far, which is an interesting role reversal (sort of) to follow and watching Spike kick ass has been all sorts of fun, but it feels like Twilight has been relegated to being a borderline damsel in distress - I don't recall the last time she did anything useful in a fight, and she is the one who seems to be messing up and be in need of rescuing all the time.
By this point when a fight starts, my usual thought is "I wonder how Twilight will fail this time, and how badly Spike will get hurt trying to save her as result" - her presence during fights has been bordering more on being a liability than a useful addition, which ... doesn't impact my enjoyment that much, mainly because of how awesome Spike has been (hey, he might be doing 80% of the party's work, but then I guess being a Dragon in Pathfinder does come with benefits), but still, Twilight being reduced to a borderline timid damsel in distress that's in constant need of rescuing has been one of the blemishes of this story.
That aside though, this has been a great story so far and I can't wait to find the time to finish reading the rest of it.
6464311 I gently nudge you to continue reading on! I'm glad to hear you're having a good time with it. You'd be amazed how many reviews start and end with 'too slow to start, didn't read', and made it to chapter 4'sh before they ran off. I think one made it to 15 or so?
6464311 There's something you're forgetting. Long Road swore to serve her until she died. She died. Terms of service, complete. Yeah, she's coming back, but he's an old mule now. He lost ten years in the Love Fortress thingy. He deserves a life with a mare who doesn't run headfirst into danger every Saturday, you know? It wasn't an easy decision, but the heart wants what it wants, and Twilight obviously wasn't going to return his affection.
6211090
Dude, that's racist.
On one hand that scene with rarity and twi felt a bit rushed. On the other hand, the resolution of it is almost perfect. Rarity wont get off Scot free, but... How could twilight of forgive her eventually?
6464311 I agree with your statements about this story. The way you describe Long Road makes him look like a less insane version of Don Quichot de La Mancha. Makes me wonder if there is a pony with the name Rocinant.