90 - What Happened
Rainbow and Spike sat and ate side by side, conversing idly about past exploits when a form streaked through, startling them. The lavender form paused and turned to look at them. With a perked ear, the Twilight phantasm smiled, "Rainbow, Spike!"
Spike blinked owlishly, unsure what was going on, "Uh... Is someone pulling my leg?"
Rainbow hopped out of her seat and flew at Twilight, attempting a tackle and instead yelping and hopping back. "Not cool!" hissed, recoiling from the pain of trying to embrace the Twilight ghost, "What gives, Twilight?"
Twilight huffed softly, wings ruffling, "I'm sorry, Rainbow. It's not safe for anypony to do that right now, seeing as I'm an aetheric disturbance." She looked thoughtful then, tapping at her chin, "But Cadance managed to do it. Maybe the magic of a princess is enough, or maybe it's because of her specific specialty."
Spike was on his feet as well, "Ether-what now? Twilight... what happened to you? Is that you, Twilight?"
Twilight spread out her wings, "Of course it's me! Let's get the others." She folded her wings back, "I don't want to repeat this story over and over again, it's not the most pleasant."
Rainbow was already at the door, "I'll get 'em!" And she was gone in a burst of color.
Spike approached Twilight, wringing his claws, "Are you... OK?"
"No," replied Twilight, "But I'm good enough." She smiled gently at Spike, "You?"
Spike sniffed loudly, "I thought you were... dead."
Twilight seemed consider that, "I technically am. That... horrible pony. You have no idea, Spike. I couldn't breath, it was all pain. I tried to get away, or to push her sword back, but she... If only I pushed harder." With mounting anger with every word spoken, she unfurled her wings out in a snap, "Get away!" A wave of force sent the dishes and silverware flying across the table, landing in a heap of table settings, several bits of ceramic shattering on crashing to the ground.
Spike reached out a claw but stopped short of touching her, "It's... um. I'm sorry, Twilight. I'm sorry I didn't save you."
Twilight snapped out of her flash back, tears ceasing to fall as she focused on Spike, "Oh Spike... I'm not angry at you." Her horn began to glow softly as she hugged Spike with her magic, squeezing carefully. "I thought I wouldn't get to see you again," she sighed out in a longing echo.
Rainbow hurried back in, speaking over her shoulder, "Stop asking questions. I don't know, just see for yourself." Soon after her came the others.
Pinkie had the most positive expression, with a bright grin and already bouncing towards Twilight.
Soft Mane looked quite uncertain, moving off to the side and finding Fluttershy had been faster to vacate to the same spot.
Rarity gasped, "Oh dear! Twilight, you've... become a ghost?"
Twilight nodded at Rarity as she turned her magic away from Spike and instead wrapped up Pinkie, hugging her and keeping her away, "No hugs, Pinkie."
Long Road scowled, "Lady Sparkle, this is not natural. You have invited darkness into your heart. Did you not have confidence in us?"
Twilight released Pinkie, her grip faltering in surprise, "What? I was being chased by some crazy god that wanted to haul me away! There was no time to wait."
Rainbow extended a wing to nudge Long Road, "Not cool, man. Not cool."
Long Road looked determined, "I am quite serious. Even if you had passed on to your judgment, we could have brought you back. As you are now, far greater magic is needed, not only to bring life back to you, Lady Sparkle, but to cleanse the foul taint of what you have become."
Twilight sank in place, ears folded back and pain etching across her features, "I... I didn't know... I... She was so frightening! Is... that what you really want? For me to... go away?"
Rarity stepped in front of Long Road, "Goodness no! What's done is done, Twilight dear. I, for one, am overjoyed to see you again, even if you are lacking substance." A coy smile at her joke as she pressed on, "I'm certain this is just a little matter, a trifling. We can fix it."
Soft Mane crossed her arms, "It can be fixed, but not here."
Spike looked over towards Soft, "What do you mean?"
Soft Mane shrugged, "It isn't obvious? We need magic, divine magic, a lot of it. Me and Long Road don't have nearly enough for the job. We have to go back to Everglow to find it."
Twilight slowly nodded, "Yes, that is logical." She watched Rarity a moment then, and past him, "It will be good to have you with us this time, Rarity, and you two as well, Rainbow, Fluttershy."
Rainbow assumed a pose of readiness, "Aw yea, you're not leaving me out this time!"
Fluttershy dived behind the flexing Rainbow, "No! I can't! I won't!"
Rarity glanced towards Fluttershy before looking at Twilight, "I'm afraid I have to agree with our friend. I cannot accompany you on this, Twilight."
Twilight's expression fell into despair, "Why not? I... wanted all of my friends at my side."
Fluttershy began to sob loudly and curl on herself, offering no coherent explanations. Spike sighed softly and offered the best he had, "Fluttershy had a rough time after you died. That demon pony really did a number on her. I don't think she's ready to do anything right now."
Twilight reached with a wing towards Fluttershy, "Oh Fluttershy... I'm so... so sorry."
"It's... OK..." whimpered out the prone Fluttershy, "But I can't go... Bad things like her live there. Please don't take me, Twilight."
Twilight heaved a slow sigh, then looked to Pinkie, "Are you coming?"
Pinkie shook her head, "I should stay. Not because I don't want to go cause I totally want to go, but Ponyville needs me even more. I have a lot of parties to plan." She leaned in closer to Twilight whispering, "Including some special ones to help Fluttershy. I'll help her."
Twilight smiled gently at Pinkie, "You are a good friend. I can't deny that reason. Element of laughter, do your destiny."
Pinkie giggled at Twilight, "I'm not an element anymore, silly. But I will!"
Twilight turned back to Rarity, "Are you sure?" Rarity nodded and Twilight nodded in turn, "I can't... won't force you. Everglow is a dangerous place."
Long Road moved beside Rarity, paused, then approached closer to Twilight, "I must report something, Lady Sparkle."
Twilight snapped out a wing, "I said to call me Twilight, Long. You don't need to be so formal."
Long Road shook his head, "I must, for this... I am no longer your knight, Lady Sparkle. I have given my services to another."
Twilight looked stunned, then baffled, "What? Was I gone for that long? Who?"
Long Road clenched his teeth a moment before speaking, "I'm unsure it would be wise to sa--"
"Me," spoke Rarity.
Twilight floated towards Rarity, "You?! Why?" Rarity hesitated, glancing about as Twilight pressed closer, "Why, Rarity? Why?"
"I... warned you, darling," said Rarity in a small voice, "I would steal him away if you weren't there."
Twilight's expression fell further, tears gathering quickly as she trembled. She tried to form words, but all that would build in her was an unending sorrow. She pushed against this internal block, trying to demand more reasons, to shout, to fume, to berate her friend. Suddenly she broke through, and a howl escaped her lips, deep and haunting. Most fled before it, with Fluttershy in the lead, followed by Soft Mane, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie. Rarity looked like she wanted to go as well, but Long Road's close proximity bolstered her spirit just enough to stay her retreat. Spike stayed where he was on his own, though he was wide eyed at the abrupt cry of pain.
Long Road interposed himself between Twilight and Rarity, "It is not the place of the dead to prevent the living from living."
Twilight recoiled at Long Road's words. "I'm not dead! I'm right here!" She spun around and spotted Spike, "Tell him I'm not dead!"
Spike snapped to attention on being addressed, rubbing behind his head, "Uh, you kinda sorta are? I mean I'm still with you, Twilight."
Twilight smiled at him, "You always were my number one assistant." She sagged then, "Even in death." She raised a limp wing at Rarity and Long, "Go, please... I hope you'll be happy together."
"I'm terribly sorry," said Rarity, "I truly am. I do hope you can put this entirely ugly affair behind you." She turned and began trotting for the door, "Please return to us, Twilight." She was soon gone, with Long Road following after her.
Twilight was left alone. She looked up. Not alone, Spike remained. Loyal Spike. She wrapped him in her force and squeezed gently, "Oh Spike... I've really messed it up this time."
"It's ok, Twi," said Spike with a forced smile, "We're still together. We can do it. So, uh, how do we get back to Everglow?"
Twilight set Spike down, "That's easy. We do it the same way we did it the first time. Assuming my room back at the castle hasn't been ransacked, the pattern should still be there. We can use it. But first thing's first. Go to the vaults and request my things. I'll need you to hold them, especially my spell book and the one Iliana gifted."
With a sharp salute, Spike was off in a quick scurry.
Twilight moved to walk out of the room, only to find Rainbow rushing back towards the room.
"Hey, Twilight!" she shouted, waving.
Twilight shrank back, "You don't want to come either?"
"What?" asked Rainbow, "You can't pay me to stay away! I'm getting in on this action and you can't stop me." She huffed indignantly, "Besides, somepony's gotta watch out for you and Spike."
Twilight brightened at Rainbow's announcement and nodded her translucent head, "Alright. Spike is getting my things. We'll take the train to Ponyville. Meet us at the front of the castle."
Soft Mane showed up only moments later, huffing for breath, "I'm... coming too. I have to."
Rainbow hiked a brow, "Why's that?"
Soft Mane lifted her shoulders, "Just do, I mean, I have business back in Everglow. I have to hug my mom, and revive my god. A girl's gotta keep busy."
Rainbow snorted out a laugh as she started for the front of the castle, bringing Soft Mane along, "You're alright, kid. You just keep that fancy magic ready if we get into a scrap."
Stats
Page generated in 0.047 seconds
Total duration
921 users online
650,245 hits today, 2,571,732 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
And so the consequences of Twilight's choice become clear, though she still doesn't quite understand the alternative. To Long Road, it's obvious, but Twilight didn't think to delve into matters of the afterlife. Hopefully she'll come to understand it, especially given Soft Whisper's offer. From what I understand, Twilight can pass to whatever's waiting for her, simplifying matters... though I may be misunderstanding it.
I'm not sure why there are logistic difficulties in getting to Everglow. Didn't Iliana teach Celestia how to plane shift? Or am I misremembering this?
Fluttershy definitely needs a few lessons on the planes. Understanding creatures is the first step in becoming unafraid of them, and if she knew that Hell and Everglow are two very different places... well, it might help. Still, I think the best treatment would be for her to know the good that balances that evil. Someone needs to introduce her to agathions.
Ectoplasmic error encountered:
Place names need to be capitalized.
oh plz make twilight go banshie on rarity
because
dick move rarity dick move
5648431 Ghost busters alerted and on the way.
Fluttershy certainly could benefit from some education, but first, parties, quiet parties, with just her and Pinkie in a nice safe environment. Momma Pinkie knows how to heal all wounds.
As for Twilight, poor Twilie, she has a lot to do and work through.
5648456 Will Long and Rarity have consequences waiting for them? -vagueness-
Also felt as if Rarity went a bit to grey/dark side there. Alongside with Long.
5648491 D&D, you make already dramatic moments even more awkward. At least in real life when you get over your dead crush, they don't pop out of their grave as a spirit and begin asking why you didn't wait for them.
Rarity does not want to go to the scary world of Everglow for any reason, and Long Road doesn't want to leave Rarity's side, writing them out of this adventure fairly securely.
well if the elements of harmony were not broken before they are now. what makes me hate rarity here is not that she took long road its that she said she would do any thing to bring twilight back and now she is abandoning her. yea generosity has left Rarity.
Paste exploits or past exploits?
I have no idea what paste exploits might be, so if that is what was intended then I have another question...
5648611 If anypony was going to get into paste exploits, I could believe it was Rainbow, or Pinkie, or the CMC.
I wonder if Twilight, being a ghost, could actually channel more energy as the Element of Magic, as she might be able to channel extra planar and interplanar energies instead of just Plane of Equestria? Or would that be Level 30?
Ive just thought of a terrible joke.
Soft Mane meets a pair of con artists selling fake shampoo in Everglow. Names of Tim n Tay.
5648431 Belated response to this, but Twilight never saw Celestia send something to Everglow. Spike did. Bad Spike!
So, Twilight's body is still cooling and Rarity already puts the moves on Long Road? Real classy, Rares.
extra space between "is" and "not"
From a meta perspective, I understand why you're dumping most of the party; it was getting too big and it will be fun to add some new characters. Rarity and Fluttershy are completely in character to stay behind, and Pinkie's reason is plausible. On the other hand, it seems that Long Road should feel a little more obligation to see Twilight through to some sort of resolution than he does. Then again, this is the first major test of his loyalty, so maybe he has always been like that.
Soft Mane seems to know an awful lot for a little kid that got cursed with divine powers. There's a big difference between knowing that resurrection is a thing and knowing all the requirements, rules and implications. Then again, you didn't really say what she learned in the month of training. They must have really got down to business.
5648874 Typo fixed, and Soft Mane didn't say any of that, all she said is 'It needs more than we have', which is kind of common sense. She knows it can be done, but is fairly sure they can't do it. She is pretty sure no raise-ghosts-to-life spell is rattling around in her brain just yet. She knows there are a lot more people(and ponies) with divine magic back where she came from. One of them has to know how to throw the voodoo to put this all back in order.
Does that make sense?
Are necromancers banned in Everglow?
5648912 It's considered an unsavory activity by most. Soft Whisper, that god that showed up before, is OK with necromancy... under very specific conditions, mostly hinging on having willing undead that are not bound to a necromancer's will.
Correction above.
It was good to see Long Road be the voice of harsh truth there. He said what needed to be said, even if nopony wanted to hear it. Of course, I did expect him to feel a little conflicted about not helping with Twilight's resurrection, since she did die on his watch...but on the other hand, that's something of an unreasonable burden to make; he did his best to protect her, and she died through no particular fault of his own. As such, he's not wrong to put Rarity first, since he's pledged himself to her now (that and they're in love).
5648927 There's also the basic problem of the idea of following an inherently corrupted soul around. Twilight's wail is all the more proof that she is in a very dark place. In some ways she became a lot less 'worthy' of championing, since she went face first into darkness. Long Road will have tears to shed, but not while protecting his ward, new as she may be. Twilight says kind things, but she is a creature of agony and pain. She could turn on them at an instant, and even a simple caress could kill a pony. She would be a truly frightening thing to have to battle, if it came to it.
5648904 My mistake, I realize she was just going off of what Long Road said. Still, what was she doing for that month?
Another double space between truly and am.
That's what you get for making a chapter interesting enough that I have to read it twice.
5649067 I will accept my burdens.
5648916 Thank goodness, atleast Twilight has a chance of accelerating her revival process if she finds one of the more enlightened necro's to assist.
Something I'm kind of disappointed not to see; even if Long Road is upset at Twilight's embracing undeath over choosing to go to the afterlife and await resurrection, given he was disappointed with Celestia's refusal to sponsor divine casters already, you'd expect him to take this opportunity to point out that if she HAD, they'd be able to bring Twilight back with no troubles, or at least minimize the risk of her eventually transforming into an Unfulfilled.
5649410 He hasn't gone off to Ponyville yet with his girl. He has time to give Celestia a piece of his mind.
5648502 I can understand why Rarity wouldn't want to go, but outright refusing seems a bit mean, especially since it means keeping Long Road away. She's gone to more dangerous places than Everglow without leaving Equestria.
I mean, than the part of Everglow they're heading to. They're going to a city to see about hiring a priest, right? 0-level commoners spend their whole lives in cities and usually don't get murdered for *decades*!
5649567
I think the perfect storm of refusing to leave to help Twilight, and sweeping Long Road off his feet when at least he knew that Twilight probably wasn't going to stay dead forever is putting Rarity in a pretty bad place, regarding generousness and friendship. This next adventure is not gonna feature her... but when everyone gets back, there's gonna be drama.
I guess as a writer you had to dump some load off, but those conversations did not fit the ones involved in them at all. Forced doesn't even start to cover what happened there.. kinda wrecks the flow of reading. Considering the sudden random encounters hitting the land, you had a lot easier and much more sensible ways to split the group.
Raribitch Raribitch Raribitch we hate you
Wow.. some good, a lot of not so good.
First, the whole deal with trying to play a death for drama in this type of story is rearing it's head. Not in how the Equestrian's are reacting, but in just how contrived it is that neither Long Road, nor Soft Mane have outright said "Hey in Everglow this would be no problem to fix" Hell Soft Mane even comes damn close to saying that, and everypony just ignores her saying the ONLY reason her mother couldn't get her dead dad brought back was they didn't have enough money. And Long Road talks about how Twi coming back as a ghost makes things harder to get her brought back, making clear he thought it was a matter of When, not If it would happen, but again, never telling the group frantic to find some way of doing it how to do it. Even not thinking they had a way back easily, just telling them it would save her and let them work out a way. The fact this is not brought up at all despite how completely logical it would be to do so by now just feels incredibly contrived.
Speaking of, the whole hook up between him and Rarity, when he is the one that KNOWS how easy it would be to get her brought back to life, and the whole scene just.. felt incredibly forced and awkward and horribly out of character for Rarity, especially with all of them so sure Twi would be brought back somehow. Doubly so when Long Road knows how to bring her back. And Rarity grabbing him like that so quick... all of just plain feels forced and contrived and not the least bit natural for the story. Then her just saying "Ha ha, nope never" to actually going on the mission to literally save Twilight's life? that is something none of the mane 6, even a terrified Fluttershy would balk at, their bond and their friendship to each other is just far far to strong. Even with all she went through, if it meant saving her friend? Fluttershy would still go through it and risk that. Even something as simple as it being her willing to go, but Twilight seeing how hurt she was, how terrified, hearing what she went through, convincing her to stay would work. And Rarity just makes no sense at all to refuse like that. When there are so many other ways, in character, that they could stay behind. This just feels to forced and contrived to be believable, and it clearly only being done for the sake of pruning down the party and not having to bring all of them with the group. Which could have been done so many other ways that don't have them acting so horrible or overly exaggerated in their timidness in Fluttershy's case.
Finally on the "What?" column, Twi as a ghost and all the "You are now a cursed, evil, tainted being" Now, the issue is NOT the idea of that, that is fine, and story does do a good job of hinting at it and some of the trouble. The issue is how both Luna and Long Road act around her, and neither of them EXPLAIN the issue, when ti's clear she has no idea what is going on, Especially Luna, she just gives a rather harsh "Screw up and I'll be the one to destroy you" bit, without EVER telling Twilight about the dangers, about why she might go wrong, about the issues with being this kind of being. it's yet more contrivances for the sake of the plot rather the natural character actions, because there is no reason for her not to warn Twilight about what staying like this might cause. It's just reckless and irresponsible not to do everything possible to help Twilight, which includes making sure she is fully aware of the issues and dangers ahead. Which goes onto a higher level with the story itself not making this clear, and simply assuming the reader will have decent ranks in "Knowledge: Pathfinder Ghost Lore" To understand this, and even without that, it does do a good job of showing the subtle, hints, and showing something might not be right and would be good as is, if not for both Luna and Long Road making clear there is something going on and they know what, and for no reason Not explaining that to Twilight when she is clearly lost and has no idea what is going on.
It just adds to making the story a a whole feel rushed and contrived when things like that happen for no given reason.
Okay onto the Good, the whole thing with Soft Whisper, and this shows just how much even one simple line of explanation can go towards making something work, my initial reaction was, liking it but also being rather "Okay... really?" about a certain bit, just "Well, yeah but... really" kind of confused, but just one line from Long Road completely solved all those issues. him saying even if Twilight had passed on with Soft Whisper she could have been brought back just as easily. (Though that line further added to the "Why have you not explained this to them instead of letting them screw up because they do not understand!' camp, because, if Twilight knew the dangers, everypony understood how to revive her, and the risks of her being like this fully, maybe she would be willing to go along with Soft Whisper and let them handle this.) The issue it solved as wondering why she'd be so gung-ho about this when, adventurers having a revolving door in the afterlife has to be something she's used to, so why collect and bring Twilight away given she was just waiting on that rez? But, that one line, that her collecting Twilight would have no bearing on her being raised, totally fixed that and made the whole thing great. Because all of it made sense, why leave the soul around to fester rather then take it with her when there is no reason not to? If they are revived, so be it, they will be back in time. With that one little bit of explanation, everything was made perfectly clear, and I really did like her appearance here. Even the scary "I really don't care" attitude of just chasing her down fits well with the lore and that adds on why she would be so beyond caring and just focus on the job. Though still a tad
over her claiming Twilight was still connected to Everglow when Celestia supposedly broke that connection and made Twi 100% Equestrian, baring her physical form.
So loved Soft Whisper, the rest, just felt far to forced and contrived and clearly only what the story wanted to happen over feeling at all natural and what the characters would do naturally or logically.
Oh right the AJ thing, loved that too, never really had the slightest tension over the Diamond Dogs and capturing Zecora, because... come on, they are Diamond Dogs. Only two stories have EVER made them legit threats that I have seen, and those both require making them stop being Diamond Dogs, either turning them into Hellhounds for FOE, or having the D-Dogs just be a bastardized, broken, remnant of a once greater race long long ago, and it being set in the past when those were a real power., for Days of Wasp and Spider And just how easily AJ took them out and saved everypony on her own showed how pathetic a threat they really are. Though even then the ending was.. wow was that rushed.
7533539 You seem to think that there is a plot. There is no plot. I do not plan any of this. It happens as it happens. The characters act as they wish to act and I do not stop them.
Long Road really hasn't been any help here. Twilight is already having problems and he decides to scold her for returning as a ghost. He wouldn't have been able to remain her knight after this anyway after his failure to support her. Even if Twilight's decision has made things more difficult he doesn't have any right to criticize her for that because Twilight didn't know any of that and Long Road's assumption that she does is inconsiderate at best and insulting at worst.
7713416
To be fair he is a Paladin. I believe in cases of Undeath they still consider the person to be dead and try to put them to rest. The factor that he hasn’t outright tried to rekill her speaks volumes about what hope he has for her