79 - Hollow Victory
The train was moving again, carrying them along the line towards the next disturbance. Spike wrote a letter without prompting and sent it away. The flash of electricity caught Long Road's attention, "What are you doing, Spike?" His voice was curious without accusation. The others were conversing towards the front of the car.
Spike shrugged lightly, "Seemed a good idea to tell Celestia what we're up to. I let her know Neighagra is clear and we're headed to Hollow Shades." He raised his volume then, looking towards Twilight, "What kind of creepies are supposed to be next, Twilight?"
Before she could reply, Spike abruptly coughed up a new scroll. "I swear she has scrolls ready for me and just sends them after me," said Spike with a shake of his head. He unfurled the scroll as the others started to gather around him curiously.
Dear Spike,
You will be pleased to know that your success is not the only one being celebrated by Equestria today. With the knowledge that Twilight and you have brought, the royal guards have been successful in closing two smaller disturbances on their own, one of them including rescuing Appleloosa from its fiery ruin. I am afraid to report that we have been unable to locate the anchors in the larger disturbances, so we wait with eager hearts to hear how you all fare in Manehattan.
In the meanwhile, you have our support. We will continue to press on the smaller of the disturbances and remove them from the face of Equestria. Your friend, Zecora, has become lost. Our scouts have seen no sign of her since the disturbance around Ponyville was destroyed and they fear the diamond dogs have returned to their old warren with her in tow. I will send ponies to find and hopefully rescue her, but if she is not returned by the time you are, that will be your next assignment.
With Renewed Hope,
Princess Celestia
Rarity tossed her mane as she smiled, "Well that's just fabulous news, Spike. Mostly. Dear Zecora must be fetched from those dreadful diamond dogs post haste."
Pinkie bobbed her head in agreement, "Poor Zecora." She sank a little in place, "Sorry for not getting her. I'm gonna throw her the biggest party ever when we get her back!"
Rainbow waved a hoof dismissively, "She's a crafty one. I bet she's totally running circles around them right now, or maybe she's brewing a potion in secret that'll turn them all into butterflies or something."
Fluttershy lifted an ear, "Can potions do that?"
Soft Mane gave a soft giggle, "Why, you want to be a butterfly Flutter?"
Fluttershy hid behind her mane and withdrew, "Maybe..."
Twilight shook her head, "Be that as it may, let's stay focused on the task at hoof. The area around Hollow Shades was bright yellow, that means air elementals. That means Dash and Spike are going to be the big players this time."
Rainbow Dash gave a haughty pfft, "I cleared out a bunch of those flying ones on my own. This'll be a piece of cake."
Spike nodded, "I'm with Dash. We'll teach them a lesson or two." He brought his claws together with a slap, performing better at looking threatening than he did before his venture to Everglow. Rainbow laughed supportively and the two shared a bro-hoof in camaraderie over the coming battle.
"It's really brought them together," said Pinkie, suddenly whispering in Twilight's ear.
"Huh?" she replied, stepping away from Pinkie, only to be followed.
"Those two," she said, nudging her head at Spike and Dash as they pumped up for battle, "They're closer, I can tell."
Twilight raised a brow, "Like... how Soft Mane wants to be?"
Pinkie gigglesnorted, "Not that kinda close, Twi. Friend close." She moved around Twilight, "They're brothers and sisters of battle! Rainbow respects him more now."
Twilight tilted her head slowly, "Huh. I didn't think of it that way, but I suppose you're right. Spike is much more of a warrior now."
It wasn't long before the train came close to Hollow Shades. For safety, the train pulled to a stop long before the rail terminal there, coming to a smooth halt beside a grassy field. Moments later the conductor swung open the door for them, "Good luck." He smiled, perhaps a touch less nervous than the day before.
"Won't need it," said Rainbow. "Hit me up, Twilight."
"It's still going, Dash," reported Twilight, tapping Rainbow so her lavender energy armor flickered into view a moment.
Rainbow nodded as she grinned. With a flick of a wing at Spike in signal to follow her, she was off the train in a flash, Spike only moments behind. They soared towards the dense forest that is Hollow Shades rapidly.
"Hey, Dash," called Spike over the wind, "Why don't you just rainboom them all away again?"
"Nah," replied Rainbow, "Rainbooms take a lot out of you. We won't need it. This isn't near as bad as the other one."
Approaching the forest, they could see the living funnels of wind lurking in the trees or swirling up above. It seemed they were spotted in turn, as the two opposing forces met. A powerful thunder crack shook the area as Spike unleashed electric pain on the oncoming wave, outright dispersing the smallest of them. Rainbow dashed in at those that remained, landing a solid flying kick on one. The energy armor around her flashed dully as a windy blow was turned aside, "We got this!"
Spike grunted as he sunk a claw into a quickly dispersing air elemental before smashing his head into another, sending it back to whence it came. "Yea, all," he lashed out with his other claw, clearing the air, "under control." An elemental creeping up behind him caught the double hooved action from Rainbow as she crashed into it, then through it as it dispersed. "Thanks!" shouted Spike as he waded deeper into the mess.
Rising from the trees, eddies of leaves swirled into a cohesive mass of wind. It was flying towards the two almost instantly. Spike interposed himself between it and Dash, taking the brunt of its charge with a soft grunt. Rainbow lifted up and came around behind it, pinning the swirling beast between them as they pummeled it. It seemed to disperse, but only to become a vortex of wind. It drew them both into the maelstrom of flying bits of sticks and leaves and crushing turbulence. Rainbow scoffed, "I've taken on bigger tornadoes than you, pal!" She struck out with her hooves with cloud destroying power, seeming to cause pain to the thing. Spike drew in a mighty breath before lighting up the tail of the tornado, causing a whirling light show before it began to disperse, fading away. The leaves and twigs fell to the ground where they weren't clinging to the two. The forest seemed at peace.
Rainbow held up a hoof at Spike with a huge grin. He met it with a fist, "Boo ya!" she cried. Victory in hoof and claw, they returned to the train to report their success. Their return was met with smiles and concerned faces. Soft Mane was at Spike's side swiftly, working away the bruises with gentle words and pink glowing energy. Also pink and glowing, Pinkie patted Rainbow Dash on the back.
"Good job, Dashie. You sure showed them who's the boss of the sky," she said with a grin only rivaled by Rainbow.
"Me and my boy Spike," Rainbow grabbed Spike around the shoulder and hauled him closer, "showed those turkeys what's what. You should have seen us!"
Twilight smiled patiently at her antics, "We did, Rainbow. You were over the trees, we could see you."
"And we were awesome!" declared Rainbow proudly.
Twilight left Rainbow and Spike to enjoy their victory. She poked her head into the engine car, "We're ready to continue." Then returned to the others, who seemed to be calming down. "I see why there weren't many yellow areas."
Long Road lifted an ear, "With weather pegasi, air elementals would have a difficult time taking hold."
Soft Mane gestured at the forest as the train began to lurch forward, "So, I mean, no offense, but why didn't you smash them long before now?"
Rainbow shrugged softly, "Hardly anypony lives out here, and I wasn't here. I may be awesome, but I can't be in two places at once, ya know?"
Fluttershy gave a soft smile, "You were very brave, Rainbow." The others seemed to agree with this, and soon they were well on their way towards Manehattan.
Twilight spoke up over the crowd, "Let's try to get some sleep before we arrive. Manehattan's going to be a lot trickier than either of these last two, and much more important. The train will stop well outside the city, so we should be safe." She trotted over to one of the cushioned seats and hopped up, curling up.
The others were slower to disperse, but eventually the car was quiet save for the quiet rumble of the tracks beneath the train and the low rumble of the motor ahead pulling them along. Like a gentle lullaby, the warriors of Equestria surrendered to the sweet call of sleep's embrace.
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Wait, the Royal Guard was useful?
I call BS!
5606859
The Royal Guard has to have some reason to exist. I refuse to believe it's just there so that Celestia is surrounded by well-muscled stallions all the time.
5606876
They also give directions to tourists and discourage petty theft. I'm still convinced that most of them are just illusions.
5606950
Since Long Road was answering the question "Does it...?" his answer should be in the form "Yes it does"
Hmm... Well, vermin shape I is a 3rd-level spell for druids and witches. Fluttershy could theoretically turn into a butterfly as big as she normally is, and that's if she doesn't take class levels.
The tide is turning! Especially in the water imbalances.
Yeah, air elementals don't really have much of a chance in a nation where a third of the population has innate weather magic. Of course, I have to wonder if that makes the earth imbalances even worse, since there isn't much of a counterbalance. Well, there's the world outside Equestria. Hmm...
I may have said this before, but planar weirdness is among my favorite things to do in Pathfinder, so this whole plotline has been a treat in that regard. Also, all of Dash's Daring Do fan fiction must be paying off, because I couldn't find any typos. Looking forward to more.
5607124 It got him all the feats and stats a very young sky dragon should have, which is quite considerable!
5607570 Are taboos different for sea ponies, or have they just not had the leisure to worry about that yet?
5607600 This would surely have come up eventually. Sonata is assuredly wearing clothes now as she plays lifeguard and learns how to be a good sea horse.
5607664
Exactly. It's like they're twins.
5607861
You're really staying on top of all the comments. I think your average response time is less than 30 minutes. Impressive. Unfortunately for you, "detect typo" is a cantrip.
5608453 And it's one you know well. Did you take spell specialization?
5608454
More like a racial trait: "Grammar Nazi"
I seriously can't help myself. I even correct my professors at college. (They get tired of that really fast)
5608460 Meh. I'm a writer. I write. I let other ponies find typos. This means I don't get angry when typos are found, instead glad. This is also how I keep up such a rate of output.
What?
No!
I just started reading this, how can I be at chapter 79 already?
On the bright side, now that I'm caught up, I can make suggestions without looking like an idiot.
off
5609199 Fixed, and welcome to the front of the train.
5609233 I meant "she"
You're not the only one who can make typos
5609486 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they
5609494
But Long Road already knows Rainbow Dash is a girl.
5609528 Long Road should be spanked for his sub par grammar, but he said it.
5609530
That's not fair; I can't criticize Long Road or I'll look like a racist
Just kidding, I'm totally a racist. Pegasi are the best!
5609561 Idly, your scowling Twilight icon makes your corrections better by far. Book horse is best editor.
5609564
I'm a lot like Twilight, minus the face-melting power, of course...and the cool friends...and job...and species...
Well we both like tidiness and punctuality.
I have three suggestions for you to use or ignore at your convenience:
1. Get back to Everglow
Although it is consistent with the motivations of your characters for them to want to stay in Equestria, I recommend you find a reason for them to return to Everglow. Everglow is still more dangerous and less black-and-white, and therefore a more fertile setting for an adventure. Changing Equestria into Everglow would probably leave a bad taste in many mouths (including mine) and you already spent some time carefully setting up the other world.
Since they currently have no reason to return, I suggest creating a crisis in Everglow that the heroes can interpret as being their fault. For example, the missing book of Lashtada turns up in the possession of an evil entity that is using it to do something bad, or Soft Mane gets abducted and taken back to Everglow, or something like that. Obviously, this would have to happen after they get all these elementals cleaned up and rescue Zecora.
2. Too many healers
Although the origin of all the healers was logical, and it would be a great strategy in a game, all those healers are taking away from the suspense. Currently, the only way an enemy can pose a believable threat to the party is if they are strong enough to possibly kill someone with a single blow. This combat mode has really short suspense opportunities.
One possible way to change this would be to split the party. Terrible strategy, but it can work in a story. If you could arrange for the party to be accidentally scattered, you could have a group with no healers at all get trapped behind enemy lines. If they get hurt, the suspense continues until they are eventually rescued or manage to escape.
3. Ditzy Doo/Derpy is an oracle.
What if Derpy has been an oracle all along?
Evidence:
-Cursed eyes (Dyslexia rather than nearsight)
-Unexplained cutie mark (maybe an aquatic god/goddess)
-Powers of destruction
Maybe Derpy has been the oracle of a god/goddess of destruction all along, but has been trying to suppress it because there isn't much call for destruction in Ponyville. The offering for this deity is obviously physical pain, since the best examples of destructive powers came after Twilight fell down Applejack's stairs and after Derpy electrocuted herself.
Again, no pressure, just some ideas I had.
5610818 I'll haul their sorry butts around as the story goes on, but fixing the mess they helped make in Equestria seems a logical thing to do. Twilight will be able to be all she can be once Equestria is nice and secure. They don't have nearly as much healing as you think they do? Even a moderately hard hitter puts out more damage than they can easily undo in a given round of combat, with none of them being a dedicated healer except Soft Mane, who is criminally under levelled. You'll be happy to know that I have no intentions of adding more healers(sorry derp-oracle!).
About Derpy, I think we have too many characters bouncing around already. Keeping track of all of them in a scene is quite a challenge, as well as giving them all chances to do things. The mane six on their own is a lot of characters, but we dropped AJ off. But then we have Spike, Soft Mane, and Long Road.
Phew, anywho, thanks for the thoughts!
5610851
I agree about there being too many characters, although you could possibly fix that by splitting into two parties and checking in on both of them from time to time.
You probably won't want Dash to be a permanent party member either. As much as I love her, she is way too strong in her normal mode. If she was transformed like Twilight, Dash would not be able to overcome it as quickly as Twi did, and would be no fun to be around in the meantime.
Regarding Derpy, that was mostly a joke. However, I thought there were non-healing oracles. My understanding was that Soft Mane has healing powers because her specific deity is in favor of healing. A destruction-themed deity would give powers related to breaking stuff.
5611003 Even not-healing oracles get access to healing, unless Derpy was at least neutral and took negative instead of positive.
Rainbow Dash would be -mostly- unchanged if she went Everglow, seeing as she doesn't wield any magic that isn't pegasus tricks, which Everglow pegasi can get access to as well, which means she'd keep them.
back to whence it came
Are AJ and Rarity with the party at this point? I'm actually not sure.
5869313 Fix applied! And they are to my remembering.
5606876 That's only 90% of the reason and you know it! They also man forgotten outposts to watch for the return of cursed cities. Besides, if their primary reason to exist was to be beefcake, you would see the most popular ones given special, fancy armor, and allowed to actually marry the princesses, or something.
5870499
Yeah it's not like that ever happens. Oh wait *pointed look at Shining Armor*
I would also have to say that in the show the royal guard is made out to be less than useful so that the mane 6 can look better. We see a lot of situations that only they can handle, because that is what is fun to look at. You wouldn't tune in to watch a half our of a cop writing parking tickets when you can see his colleague solve mysteries instead would you?
Though I have to agree there has to be at least some measure of eye candy in the outfit. Celestia is a mare with needs too.
5869313
Actually, "from whence [pronoun] came" is the correct form. It's all one unit describing a place. It doesn't quite fit modern grammar because it's an archaic phrase.
"a split second behind" maybe?
a moment = about 90 seconds
A correction, by Equestria! As in, by the by, we need this be to be by! So say bye, baby be!
10527446
Ancient typos, laid to rest.