Transcript: All Records
All letters presented in this story are transcribed here, though reading them within their respective chapters is highly recommended.
Don't Screw this Up:
Upon a royal scroll:
The Royal Princesses, Celestia and Luna, do hereby command the presence of Spitfire, Captain of the Wonderbolts, and an attendant of her choosing in Canterlot, evening next.
We request that neither Blaze nor Surprise accompany the Captain.
-L
---
FROM THE DESK OF THE CAPTAIN
Sgt. Surprise,
Would you mind explaining why Princess Luna specifically forbade bringing you or Blaze to Canterlot with me? It better not have anything to do with that Dragon Alert a while back; I seem to recall being assured that the situation was handled professionally.
-Spitfire
CPT.; THE WONDERBOLTS
---
Captain Spitfire, ma'am,
Our response to the Dragon Alert was totally professional! It's just that, well, reports of the dragon's size made it sound like the creature was about as big as a house.
It was wayyyyy bigger than a house, and we kind of panicked a little bit and went for the kill and failed miserably and barely escaped with our lives.
I might have over exaggerated a bit on our valor and bravery. Pretty much the only triumphant part of the entire ordeal was when we flew off into the sunset, I'm not actually sure what stopped the dragon. Princess Luna probably thinks we're incompetent.
-Surprise!
---
FROM THE DESK OF THE CAPTAIN
Sgt. Surprise,
Princess Luna would be correct.
Also-quit using purple stationery for official correspondence. All of your reports are winding up in my fan mail box because they look like party invitations.
-Spitfire
CPT.; THE WONDERBOLTS
---
WONDERBOLTS HEADQUARTERS; CLOUDSDALE
Spitfire,
The 8th Reserve Squadron will arrive at the Academy for advanced training at 0500 hours tomorrow morning. Please note that this is thirty minutes later than usual, and encourage your stand-in captain to make up for lost time. (I do hope you aren’t considering Misty Fly for the position.)
As the official schedulemaster, it is my duty to inform you that all viable train tickets to Canterlot have sold out. Given current flying conditions, you can reach the city on time if you depart two hours ago.
Please contact me in advance if it looks like you’ll miss the Wing Fling.
-Tight Ship
Day One:Taking Initiative
WONDERBOLTS HEADQUARTERS; CLOUDSDALE
E.U.P. 3rd Division:
R.E.A.- “The Wonderbolts”
8th Squadron, India Reserves:
-April Showers
-Cloud Chaser
-Flitter
-High Note
-Jet
-Midnight Strike
-Pizelle
-Rainbow Dash
-Sunburst
-Stormbreaker
Overseeing Officer: SMSgt. High Winds
---
FROM THE DESK OF THE CAPTAIN
Hey Fast Clip,
You and Whiplash are gonna take care of the Reserve’s training program thing, right? I can’t find the schedule for it, so I hope you have a copy of what they’re supposed to be doing. I mean, all you normally do anyway is follow Spitfire around, so pretend like she’s there and get to it.
If you need help, just grab one of the other ‘Bolts. (Blaze looks a lot like Spitz, if you want authenticity.) Seeing somepony in uniform usually makes the newbies straighten up.
Just don’t bother me, I’ve got a lot to do before this weekend. This Wing Fling is gonna be INTENSE!
-Fleetfoot
Temporary CPT.; THE WONDERBOLTS
---
FROM THE DESK OF THE CAPTAIN
Mr. and Mrs. Cake,
By the authority of the Wonderbolts and the Royal Equestrian Air Force, I hereby requisition your best dessert chef for the foreseeable future.
She/he should report to the Wonderbolt Academy at 5:15 PM this evening. Transportation has been arranged.
This pony will have the opportunity to serve her/his country in its dessert-less time of need, and may earn the eternal gratitude of an entire division of the E.U.P. if she/he is able to teach Academy Chef Tender Greens how to bake by Saturday.
Enclosed you will find a train ticket. Should this baker prove successful, I’ll sell the Academy’s gold-plated statue of Commander Hurricane and send you the profits.
-Fleetfoot
---
Northern Equestrian Railway
Depart: Ponyville, 1P.M.
Arrive: Prism Plateau, 5 P.M.
ADMIT ONE
---
Sergeant Fleetfoot,
Here’s the paper you ordered.
-Fast Clip
---
FROM THE DESK OF SERGEANT FLEETFOOT
Sir Fancy Pants,
I’ve recently been given command over the esteemed Wonderbolt Academy, and it really needs sprucing up for the Wing Fling this weekend.
Now, this party is a big deal: the performance team, Reserves, and high-ranking members of the E.U.P. will be attending, so the decorations need to be sophisticated and stylish, something that really shows off the importance of being a ‘Bolt.
I’ve asked the staff for recommendations, but nopony knows any designer refined enough for what I’ve got in mind. You, of course, are the stallion to consult when it comes to elegance, so I was wondering if you know somepony with the right skills for this job.
-Fleetfoot
ACTING COMMANDER, THE WONDERBOLTS
---
Dearest Miss Fleetfoot,
I will gladly recommend a designer to you, and am most flattered that you thought of me. I certainly have met my fair share of talented ponies, but I do maintain that Hoity Toity knows a bit more regarding fashion than myself!
Coco Pommel is an up-and-coming young mare, quiet in disposition, whose Bridleway costuming is proving to be simply marvelous. However, only the best will suffice for your event, yes?
I’ve taken the liberty of writing to Rarity, a young Ponyville fashionista who possesses striking vision and superb taste. I believe you will find her to be exactly whom you are looking for, and am quite surprised that you are not already considering her for the job of overseeing the décor, given that she is friends with your trainer, Rainbow Dash.
Yours Truly,
Fancy Pants
---
FROM THE DESK OF SERGEANT FLEETFOOT
Yo Fast Clip,
Apparently Spitfire promoted her star cadettie to Training Instructor. I swear, she could at least pretend to not play favorites.
Anyway, ask Rainbow Dash about her training regimen, have her set a team goal for the week, and then give her full reign over the Reserve and Performance Squadrons, helping her out when needed.
Go ahead and combine the practices for both groups; there’s this locked drawer in Supreme Lord Commander Spitfire’s desk that I’m trying to open, and none of Crescent Moon’s 7,000 keys are working. Do you know what E.S.S. stands for?
-Fleetfoot
ACTING COMMANDER, THE WONDERBOLTS
---
WONDERBOLT ACADEMY; PRISM PLATEAU
Sergeant Fleetfoot,
The E.S.S. is the Equestrian Secret Service, which you only have the clearance to know about due to your temporary status as Academy Commandant.
Expect a visit from an E.S.S. Memory Spell Expert sometime next week.
Also, burn this letter.
-Fast Clip
---
WONDERBOLT ACADEMY; PRISM PLATEAU
Sergeant Fleetfoot,
Whiplash informs me that you have yet to leave Cpt. Spitfire’s office, which means you have not yet incinerated a certain item of correspondence—one which may or may not be potentially incriminating, were my compliance with confidentiality procedures ever called into question. Please make this a priority.
There are no disciplinary issues to report, though it should be noted that all ten pegasi of the 8th Squadron returned from their post-flight showers with matching coat colors. You may want to make an announcement clarifying that Squadron Spirit Week isn’t until next month.
-Fast Clip
---
FROM THE DESK OF SERGEANT FLEETFOOT
Hey High Winds,
Putting mane dye in the newbies’ shampoo bottles? Classic! I just hope that color’s temporary, because we’ll all get fired if an entire squadron has lime-green hair in the official Wing Fling photos.
-Fleetfoot
ACTING COMMANDER, THE WONDERBOLTS
---
Fleet,
Is dark blue okay? They were having a sale on coat dye and Lightning Streak and I still have a ton left.
-High Winds
---
FROM THE DESK OF SERGEANT FLEETFOOT
Hey High Winds,
Oh yeah, that's fine.
-Fleetfoot
ACTING COMMANDER, THE WONDERBOLTS
Day Two:Outsourcing
WONDERBOLT ACADEMY; PRISM PLATEAU
Sergeant Fleetfoot,
Training Instructor Rainbow Dash is requesting a promotion to “Swagtastic Sergeant of Amazingness,” and insists that it is necessary to her continued performance as trainer.
I defer to your judgment.
-Fast Clip
---
FROM THE DESK OF SERGEANT FLEETFOOT
Yeah, no.
-Fleetfoot
---
Fleetfoot,
The unicorn you hired, Rarity, arrived about an hour ago. I had a bit of trouble getting her to wear a cloudwalking-charm bracelet—did you know topaz has been out of season for three years? But she’s wearing it now, so no worries!
Where am I supposed to put her? Your guest chef is already staying in the royal quarters, and this mare really isn’t going to like having to stay in the barracks. Plus she’s brought at least two rooms full of luggage, which are currently sitting in the hall, blocking the bathroom doors. We’re gonna have a crisis on our hooves in about 20 minutes.
-Crescent Moon
---
FROM THE DESK OF SERGEANT FLEETFOOT
Moon Moon,
Go ahead and put Rarity in the Captain’s Suite. It’s not like Spitfire’s using it at the moment.
After she’s settled in, could you show her around the Plateau and the Hall of Partying or whatever it’s called? She’ll need to get to work right away; Wing Fling’s in two days.
Tell her not to worry about a spending limit or anything, ‘cause I’m pretty sure official morale-building events are covered under the national defense budget.
Also, are you sure you gave me all of your keys? Could you check and see if you missed one labeled “Spitfire’s ESS Drawer of Secrecy” or something? I’m not gonna be able to sleep until I read whatever’s in it.
-Fleetfoot
---
FROM THE DESK OF SERGEANT FLEETFOOT
Hey Soarin,
I’m thinking about getting somepony to cater the Wing Fling.
I hired a baker to come to the Academy and teach Tender Greens the importance of sugar, but she reported this morning that “GREENY AND I ARE GONNA MAKE A MMMM AND IT’S GONNA BE SUPER-LISCIOUS! Only it won’t really be a MMMM, more like a Mmmm-” and then she launched into a really detailed plan involving gummies, a metric ton of sprinkles, and a trebuchet.
Basically, I’m not sure that Tender Greens will be able to cook the buffet, let alone master dessert in time for the party. Who was that mare at the Gala? You know which Gala I’m talking about. The one with the pie. Speaking of pie, how’s Canterlot?
-Fleetfoot
P.S.: What's in the locked drawer in Spitfire's desk? Her diary?
---
WONDERBOLT ACADEMY; PRISM PLATEAU
Sergeant Fleetfoot,
Training Instructor Rainbow Dash wants to know if promoting her to “Super-Cool General of Awesome” is a more acceptable option.
In other news, average half-mile lap times for both the Performance and Reserve Squadrons have decreased by over thirty seconds.
-Fast Clip
---
FROM THE DESK OF SERGEANT FLEETFOOT
Fast Clip,
Look, if she can find the badge for whatever rank she just made up, she can promote herself to Ultimate Equestrian Conqueror, for all I care.
Oh, and tell her good job on the lap times. Just keep the fliers away from the administrative building; I’m not sure why she’s having them dive towards the ground at breakneck speeds, but there’s a Flitter-shaped smudge on Spitfire’s window that I need somepony to scrub off.
Oh yeah, I hope Airmare Flitter is okay and stuff.
-Fleetfoot
---
Hey there, Fleet!
Nah, Spitfire's diary is behind her signed copy of Wondermanes: Training Your Hair to Defy Gravity, on the bookshelf to the right of her desk.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS DELICIOUS AND WONDERFUL, GET APPLEJACK TO CATER THE WING FLING, SWEET CELESTIA, YES!
[totally beautiful picture of Applejack] [picture of Fleetfoot]
[Captain Spitfire didn't pack her stress meds, is being a jerk, and thus gets no picture]
-Soarin
---
[Diary]
Captain's Personal Records: Spitfire
---
PRINCESS CELESTIA'S SCHOOL FOR GIFTED UNICORNS; CANTERLOT
Miss Fleetfoot,
While I appreciate your need for urgency, I am
afraid that all attempts to cast a “hoofwriting code deciphering spell thing” upon the blue journal delivered by Mister Wave Chill have resulted in catastrophic failure.
It would seem that the book in question is a Level Nine Classified Document, and as such is imbued with an extremely potent Magical Resistance Charm. None of the spellcasters in the school have the authority to override the charm, and attempts to do so have resulted in the explosive destruction of our research facilities.
I have sent the tome to one of my former students, whose status as Princess may give her the authority to perform the decrypting spell. She should arrive at Prism Plateau shortly, hopefully with her findings.
Most Sincerely,
Smarty Pants
Headmistress, Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns
---
FLEETFOOT!
Guess what? I predicted a surprise inspection again!
I know we just had a royal review last month, but I was walking along and then I suddenly wanted to iron all the wrinkles out of my pillowcase.
So I hid my contraband (hey, wanna get rid of that rule about no food in the barracks?) and FWAZOOM! HER ROYAL HIGHNESS (the small purple one) APPEARED!
I sent her your way, so I hope all your stuff’s in inspection order!
-Surprise!
---
ATTENTION
BY ORDER OF THE CAPTAIN:
Section 3.2.88 of WBMAN 36-2205: Codes of Conduct has been nullified. The following passage is no longer applicable:
3.2.88 The presence of food anywhere other than the mess hall is prohibited. Any Wonderbolt personnel caught in possession of foodstuff will face immediate disciplinary action.
3.2.88.1 Select officers are permitted a light snack, such as coffee, at their discretion
3.2.88.2 Cupcakes do not qualify as a light snack
3.2.88.2.1 Neither do muffins
3.2.88.3 For a list of acceptable snack items, please speak with Cpt. Spitfire
COMPLIANCE WITH THIS ORDER IS MANDATORY
SIGNED: Fleetfoot
CPT; THE WONDERBOLTS
Day 3: Thou Hadst But One Duty
WONDERBOLT ACADEMY; PRISM PLATEAU
Sergeant Fleetfoot,
Super-Cool General of Awesome Rainbow Dash requests your presence on the landing strip in one hour for a demonstration of the team’s improvement under her coaching.
Before you ask, it seems that Commander Easyglider went through a bit of an egotistical phase a few decades ago, and promoted herself through no less than thirteen different ranks—including Ultimate Equestrian Overlord of Epicosity—before the Command Council took action.
I was able to hide most of Easyglider’s old badges, but not until after SCGoA. Rainbow Dash found the one she’s currently wearing. At the moment, she’s focused on this afternoon’s demonstration, and has not shown any inclination toward seizing command of the E.U.P.
-Fast Clip
---
Uh, Fleetfoot,
I really really like being able to have food outside the chow hall, but I remember now why Spitfire banned snacks in the first place. Everypony’s been leaving food in their rooms, and there’s a small army of cloudroaches taking over the barracks.
Please do something. I hear the swarm coming for me.
-Crescent Moon
---
FROM THE DESK OF SERGEANT FLEETFOOT
Fast Clip,
Lemme know how the demonstration goes, there’s a cloudroach infestation in the barracks and I need to go pick up an emergency exterminator. Or maybe she runs a bug shelter. Whatever.
You’re in charge until I get back. No more promotions (unless you wanna write a letter of recommendation for mine).
-Fleetfoot
ACTING COMMANDER, THE WONDERBOLTS
---
WONDERBOLT ACADEMY; PRISM PLATEAU
Fleetfoot, you brilliant little upstart!
I know what you all thought! I know what everypony said! “Tender Greens can’t bake worth a bit!” “Tender Greens makes cupcakes taste worse than celery!”
Well SURPRISE, BREADHEADS! I, TENDER GREENS, JUST MADE A CAKE! WITH SUGAR.
I never thought the day would come, but here I am, covered head-to-hoof in sugar. Honest-to-Celestia, non-low-calorie sugar!
That pink, cavity-seeking demon of frosting you threw into my kitchen actually helped! I’ll admit it—I doubted you, and her, and Captain Spitfire, for leaving you of all ponies in charge, but HOT CHILI PEPPERS I MADE SOMETHING UNHEALTHY! If only you could see me now, mother! So many new dishes are availakafjoiwejfkwejfl
---
Fleetfoot Spitfire ANYPONY
Locked myself in hall closet there was an explosion and sky turned to rainbows then they swarmed I can hear their little feet scratching at the walls oh princesses I’m sorry help help help everypony’s gone sounds like roof’s collapsing never told misty fly she has a pretty mane HELP
---
E.S.S. Suveillance; Form 301-7: Magical Incident
INCIDENT REPORT
Agent: Operative 43
Jurisdiction: Greater Ponyville Area
Time of Incident: One minute and thirty-four seconds ago
Notes:
I was minding my own business, maintaining my cover as a resident of Ponyville, when a massive explosion rocked the town, resulting in the auditory discomfort and general indignation of most of the civilians. At least four rainbows began to streak across the sky to the northwest of the town, originating near Prism Plateau. The rainbows in question are similar to the one produced by E.H.-L.Y.L. during Incident YF22-14.
If these are the same as YF22-14, we will likely need to reevaluate our entire defense plan, as previously E.H.-L.Y.L. was considered to be the only pegasus capable of such a feat.
If these are not akin to YF22-14, then we are likely under attack. I recommend the immediate activation of all nearby branches of the E.U.P.
-O43
---
Equestrian Secret Service
Operative 43,
Your entirely unnecessary recommendations have been duly noted and ignored. The E.S.S. commends your initiative. Before I inform the Director about this incident, I need you to take your field partner (Operative 35, is it?) and perform a quick air survey around Prism Plateau.
I am obligated to remind you that as official Royal Equestrian Air Force territory, Prism Plateau is a restricted airspace (as per Section 5-point-whatever of no one cares) and thus you should avoid flying within 100 yards of the compound.
I am also pleased to inform you that the next time you file an incident using the incorrect form, you will face a disciplinary hearing. This is your nineteenth infraction, Operative. Rainbows are natural occurrences AND THEREFORE should be reported using Form 301-6P: Strange But Not Entirely Unusual Atmospheric Incident.
-Agent 58
---
Whiplash: Please evacuate all civilians in cloudborne structures to designated Plateau Safe Spots.
MSgt. Wave Chill: Please retrieve Sgt. Surprise, SCGoA. Dash, and the other two Wonderbolts who Rainboomed. Examine them for injury.
SMSgt. Misty Fly: Please lead debris removal squad for airstrip. Ensure all personnel wear safety goggles. Salvage as much material as possible.
SMSgts. Lightning/Fire Streak: Please manage water bucket brigade to extinguish Mess Hall/Administration Building fires.
I will extract Crescent Moon from the barracks and return to help clear the airstrip.
-Fast Clip
---
FOAL FREE PRESS
RAINBOWS NO LONGER UNDER PEGASI CONTROL!!! Is this the end of weather as we know it?
Editor-in-Chief Featherweight reports:
Just now, ponies of Ponyville saw a strange sight in the sky. Somewhere over the Unicorn Mountain Range, a lot of rainbows appeared without any warning or explanation. “They seem to come from the same place in the mountains,” Rainbow Expert Cherilee observes, “but they aren’t far enough away to be over Cloudsdale, and the arc (curve) of the light is wrong for natural rainbows.”
Some residents of Ponyville wonder if the giant humongous explosion two minutes ago has anything to do with the mysterious rainbows. Maybe they came from a lot of Sonic Rainbooms? We asked Scootaloo, president of the Rainbow Dash Fan Club and expert on Sonic Rainbooms, if this was possibile:
“They can’t be! There’s at least four different rainbows up there, and Rainbow Dash is the only pony who can do a Rainboom! Nopony else is awesome enough!”
You heard it here first, everypony. If these wacky rainbows aren’t from Rainbooms, the only possible explanation is that Pegasi no longer have control over the weather. Time to panic. –Ponyville, FFP
---
WONDERBOLT ACADEMY; PRISM PLATEAU
fast clip, dude,
are you sure you wanna put misty in charge of cleanup? there’s over fifteen ponies in that detail, if you count the staff members.
i mean, it’s your call and all, but are you really
really
really sure? -wave chill
Yeah Clipster, it’s kind of a terrible idea. Last time, instead of working she let us re-enact the banishment of Nightmare Moon using all those stunts that the Geneighva Convention outlawed WHICH WAS TOTALLY AHMAZING but Princess Celestia got pretty upset.
-Surprise!
---
SENIOR MASTER SERGEANT MISTY FLY
YOU ARE EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN FROM USING THE FORCES UNDER YOUR COMMAND FOR ANY PURPOSE OTHER THAN CLEARING DEBRIS FROM THE ACADEMY GROUNDS.
DO NOT PRESUME TO DISREGARD YOUR ORDERS IN FAVOR OF LEISURE ACTIVITIES, OR SO HELP ME SPITFIRE, I WILL COURT-MARTIAL YOUR SORRY FLANK SO FAST IT’LL BREAK FLEETFOOT’S DERBY SPEED RECORD.
-Fast Clip
---
Fast Clip,
Misty Fly’s doing historical battle reenactments again.
I want a 24/7, all-access Academy Hall Pass hoof-delivered to me in the next twenty minutes, or I’m writing to Captain.
-High Winds
---
E.S.S. Surveillance **ALPHA PRIORITY** Form Zero: Utter Disaster
CATASTROPHE REPORT
Reporting Survivor: Operatives 43 & 36
Ground Zero: Prism Plateau
Equestria’s Demise:
Just Occurred Imminent 1000 Years Until
Agent of Apocalypse:
Discord √ Foreign Invader
√ Corrupted Element Natural Disaster
√ Magical Disaster Discord
Tier-7 Escaped Prisoner Microbe/Pathogen
? Revolt** Extraterrestrial Contact Maybe?
Other (please list): __________________________________________
Notes:
Wonderbolt Academy is lost. Most of the compound is in ruins, the clouds surrounding the Plateau are on fire, and unidentified groups of dark blue pegasi are dive-bombing the remains. Their attack formations look like something straight out of the Lunar War Accounts—we’ve never seen anything like it, but the effect is undeniable.
The Elements of Harmony (Minus E.H.-K.N.D.) have been spotted consorting with the attackers, picking through the rubble (in an attempt to find loot, likely).
Equestria’s primary lines of defense are broken. We have failed. The country is under attack.
**For annual Tax Season rebellions, see form EE-45b
---
Equestrian Secret Service
Operative 43,
Yes, losing Wonderbolt Academy is a serious blow to our national security, but an attack by potentially ancient, Shadowbolt-like foes should technically be reported using Form 23b: Unidentified Hostiles of Questionable Origin (Non-edible).
Your disciplinary hearing is scheduled a week from tomorrow, barring complete annihilation of Equestria.
In the meantime, please report to Emergency Rendezvous Point Zeta. The Director has scrambled every available unit of R.E.A. Reserves, and the remainder of the E.U.P. will be deployed shortly.
A missive has been dispatched to Captain Spitfire, notifying her of the current situation. Expect her presence within the hour.
-Agent 58
---
Fleet,
What is this, and why did it come with a thirteen-page report demanding Spitfire launch an attack on the Academy? Did you put Misty in charge of practice or something?
-Soarin
Upon a fancified scroll:
In the name of the Princess Celestia, the Sol Aeterna, She Who Steps With Fire,
Spitfire, Captain of the Wonderbolts
IS HEREBY SUMMONED TO LEAD THE EARTH, UNICORN, PEGASUS GUARD INTO GLORIOUS BATTLE AGAINST INNUMBERABLE ODDS AND IS ACCORDINGLY GRANTED THE TITLE OF
Commander
ALONG WITH ALL RIGHTS, RESPONSIBILITES, AND PRIVILEGES THEREUNTO.
---
Fleetfoot?
-Soarin
---
Fleet,
If I don’t get a response in the next thirty minutes, I’m going to have to pull Spitfire out of her meeting w/the Princess, and all of our lives are really gonna suck
-Soarin
---
FROM THE DESK OF SERGEANT FLEETFOOT
IGNORE THAT PLEASE. EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL I SWEAR.
Could you and Spitz maybe stay in Canterlot another day? Don’t you think that’d be fun?
-F
ACTING COMMANDER, THE WONDERBOLTS
You Screwed This Up:
FROM THE DESK OF THE CAPTAIN Corner of Discipline
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that I can fly 6,749 laps around the Academy before my feathers cry. I also learned that there are three different types of fungi growing on the floor of the Cadet Latrines.
I originally thought that was all I learned, but Spitz Captain Spitfire threw the letter at my head, so apparently not.
After a lot of thinking (and several deafening conversations with the Captain), I realized that I have learned something else:
Technicalities, while important, are not the most important thing to focus on when assuming responsibility, and you shouldn’t base your performance as a leader on small stuff. For example, while I technically didn’t burn the Academy to the ground (the fire in the mess hall wasn’t what caused the structural failure of the complex), I’ve been assured that I won’t be receiving any awards in the near future.
Technically, I should be commended for doing leadership stuff like delegating tasks and taking initiative, but in reality I should have focused less on what I could do, and more on what I was told to do. To be a good leader, you have to first be a good follower, and a good follower understands that “Captain Ponies know how to do their jobs and should be listened to because for crying out loud, Fleetfoot, I’ve been doing this since before you got your first promotion.”
I also learned that E.S.S. stands for Emergency Sunglass Stash, and that having to replace fifty pairs of Spitfire’s shades totally destroys your paycheck. Also, respecting privacy, etc. etc.
The end.
Taking to the Sky,
Fleetfoot
E.U.P. 3rd Division: R.E.A.
1st Squadron: “The Wonderbolts”
Alpha Flight Performance Team
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This can only end
terriblywell.One of my very favorite examples of extremely unique storytelling. I've always loved that you can take so much creative and artistic liberty in fanfiction, especially on this site. You're on to watch, Fahrenheit! Keep at it! Great ideas and spectacular execution.
oh, so many ways Rainbow in charge can go. She can collapse under the pressure at first like with the Best Young Fliers contest, or she can push to hard like with the Water Tornado, or she can let her ideas go crazy like with the pet competition
This is the oddest story I've seen. I like it!
Okay, this promises to be disastrous, in the very best of ways.
I'm enjoying the stationery gimmick, too; it works nicely for this kind of a fic.
5929207 Without a doubt. There is absolutely no way this can end poorly.
5929328 Aw, you. Thanks a bunch, your input was really great!
5929435 Hopefully it'll eventually get a laugh out of you, if only on the inside. Glad you're enjoying!
5929749 Ooh, those are some good predictions. So, so many things can
go wronghappen.5929915 Ha, thanks!
5930607 Thank you, the letters were a lot of fun to put together!
Oh man, my decision to watch you is being rewarded already.
Hilarious stuff!
5932325
It honestly feels good that I was able to read the diary, and read it correctly. Even if I did need a transcript of it to confirm it.
Things are either going to go okay or really wrong, and I'm not sure which to root for.
Great work so far, keep it up.
5932679
I'm not sure about that first one. One of the core things about MLP FiM that distinguishes it from lesser show's is that character development sticks and the ponies remember their life lessons.
Rainbow already learned that getting too ambitious and not paying enough attention to the needs of her team can cost her big (Hurricane Fluttershy). I suspect that Rainbow's training will be the only part of this that doesn't go wrong.
5932292 You hopped aboard this train wreck at a pretty decent time.
Glad you're enjoying it!
5932400 pbs.twimg.com/media/BnnxOw0IUAAROKm.png:large
5932988
reactiongifs.com/r/bth.gif
Thanks! More on the way.
5933655
Very slowly. There was squinting involved.
The story is absolutely amazing so far. Can't wait to see the start of the disaster.
Also, would you mind if I add your story to a Fleetfoot group?
5934991 Thanks! And by all means, go right ahead!
This story.
This story needs so many more views.
5939826 I find myself agreeing with you, but I might be a bit biased.
Ah, it's all good.
I knew there was a reason I followed you.
This story was really amazing all the way through. You've got clever story telling style with the use of the transcripts, but what was even better was the fact that it was so damn hilarious. Bravo Fahernheit. Bravo.
5942124 That might put a bit of a damper on your federal career, yep.
The only thing I'm kinda missing is an explanation as to the many abbreviations. Such as E.H.-L.Y.L., does that mean something specific or is it arbitrary?
5943105
Element of Harmony-Loyal
Great story!!
5943790
Ooooooh. And the other thing is the Best Young Flyer's competition!
Thank you very much!
5943844 Thank you!
5949824 Do you mind if I do Save Image?
5949901 Eh, as long as it's just for personal offline viewing. I'm extremely narcissistic and want everyone who reads the story to know I wrote it.
All in all, this was a pretty hilarious story, and it made great use of letters to make the story that much funnier. Great stuff!
What's written in the bucking diary?!?!?!
5952940 Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
5953237 Allow me direct you to this comment from horizon in Chapter 3, Day 2: 5932325
He's got it pretty much figured out.
5953373 FINALLY!! Time to write that in my stenography notebook.
This was beautiful. This was actually glorious. I knew I wanted to read this from the moment I saw it on EqD, but you can thank John Perry's review for pushing me to read it sooner. It's everything I love. Brilliant comedy, an interesting format, and some marvelous set-pieces.
I think my favourite parts, by far, had to be the ESS reports. As well as the fact that I've also have a fondness for the idea of Equestrian secret agents (and in fact I once wrote stories involving the ESS using that exact same name, so I had a little bit of a moment upon seeing that), I just couldn't stop laughing uproariously at the apocalypse report form. Like Moonlight Palaver's Capricious Crown, it's one of those ideas that's so good that I'm sad for not thinking of it myself first. You have no idea how much I want to steal that.
This was absolutely hilarious and would have earned the fav and like (alas, but I can give only one) even without all the spiffy artwork throughout.
Great, great stuff. Looking forward to what may come next from you.
I love love LOVE the well-documented comedic disaster genre and this one is absolutely as top notch as the others. You've clearly done a lot of work on this one and you deserve all the credit you get.
And, yes, there is a well-documented comedic disaster genre, or at least there is now on this site. I think this one put the total number over the top and into full-fledged genre territory. See also: Daring DONE! (and sequels) by Aragon,
Very funny story! The section from Spitfire's diary is missing from the transcripts though.
5954067 Oh, wow, thank you so much! I wasn't aware that you've made use of the E.S.S.; it's such a fun concept to play with, isn't it? I will admit, I had entirely too much fun creating the apocalypse form. (Also, thanks for pointing out John Perry's review.)
5954764 Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it; I'll do my best to deliver!
5955393 "Daring DONE!" made me laugh so hard. It really is a marvelous genre. Thank you!
5955659 Thanks! And yes, it was intentionally done so.
5956221
Secret agents in general are among some of my favourite concepts/tropes, and stories like Men in Black, James Bond, and even Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Torchwood have all liberally inspired me before, so yes, the E.S.S. was an incredibly fun concept to play with. It's an idea with a lot of inherent potential to it, both comedic and otherwise. I still do write some things that use the same general idea, just with a different name.
5958923
I didn't realize it was just a US convention! I'm American, which you may likely have guessed, so I never realized it was different elsewhere. And I'm glad you also feel that the intent is to maximize clarity. I tend to be grammar-nightmare-ish (I don't like to use "nazi" in such a common way if I can help it; I feel they don't deserve that kind of constant reference, the brutes) but I try not to go too crazy. And I'm by no means perfect. ...I'm rambling now, so I'm going to end this comment right here.
Haha, really solid moments of humor in here, with all that back and forth dialogue! I think the letter style format was nice, but may lose it's novelty had the story been longer, but since it's quite a short story it's still alright. Loved the humor!
5961125 Thanks! I think that if it was any longer, keeping the documents in order would become increasingly difficult, also. Glad you enjoyed!
5967891
Have fun calculating how many BTUs are required to convert 7.3 quarts of ice at 0°F to steam at 424°F under 400"Hg of pressure!
I'm kind of at a loss as to what to say here.
This was fantastic. This is the kind of story I wish I could reliably get to read on this site all of the time instead of... (does some quick math) .01% of the time. This is the kind of story I wish I could write. I envy you and the few other good comedy writers I know -- I can't be funny on command, so I'll never be able to write something with the tag. Every time I thought something was a little off in this story it turned out to have a comedic yet character-advancing purpose later on. All the laughs were had, and in the end, I have no suggestions to make.
So fine. Here. Have the same comment you've already bloody heard a hundred times.
Oh and it's official: I love your Fleetfoot. And your Spitz. Hell I love all your Wonderbolt characterizations gawd
6061075 Holy crap what do I even say in response to that. Oh wow thanks so much! just seems a bit flimsy. I assure you, though--any envy towards my writing comedy is matched tenfold in my envy of how well you manage to write emotional stuff without getting bogged down in a giant puddle of emotion. From what I've read of your ponywords, it's like you kind of just take the reader and dance across the sea of feels without dropping us in and leaving us to drown. Gah.
But I haven't heard it from you before
Oh goodie I am very glad you do. I love me some Wonderbolts and the Secret Writing Agenda focuses almost exclusively on them.
This was beautiful.
6082144 You're
beautifulfabulous for saying so. Thanks!...and I'm done.
Fan-freakin'-tastic. Excellent use of medium + hilarious story = 120% pure win.
11/10; would recommend.
6188311 Thanks a bunch! I'm very glad it was worth your time
I swear, I haven't laughed this hard in MONTHS. Awesome story!
6731515 Thanks; I'm so glad you enjoyed it!