This isn't my Bathroom!
The man was confused. Closing the door and reopening it only brought upon the same confusion. What the man was looking into, was not his bathroom. It was indeed similar, in the sense that it was still a bathroom and still took the same spacial area of his abode, but the similarities abruptly cease at that point. The normal blue drywall had seemingly been replaced with perfectly seamless wood as if the walls had grown to form the room, the usual white tiled floor had also been replaced with the same material. The man set his confusion aside for a brief moment as his bladder made it's way back to the front of his mind, there was a mission to accomplish.
The unicorn was equally confused. Staring into what should have been her sanctuary from the day to day madness of the rest of the world, she could only see a blue walled, white tiled, affront to all that was sacred. This was most certainly not her bathroom and the most unwelcome anomaly she could possibly imagine. Using the lavatory just received a new neighbor on her checklist, examine the new bathroom.
The man had few difficulties. Unable to find the light switch he simply left the door open to avoid taking aim in pitch black. The toilet, if that is what passes for a toilet nowadays, was an odd target. It was an opening raising itself out of the floor, stopping just short of the calf, and could be proven to have a constant stream of water flowing through it, if one were to peer inside. The man shook twice before his mission was declared successful and searched more thoroughly for a source of light so that he may continue his morning ritual. There, attached to the wall, rested two lanterns. The man went to retrieve a box of matches from another room so that he may bathe with an absence of darkness.
The unicorn put on a scowl as she searched for the room's lanterns but could find nothing to indicate their presence. Her search came to a halt as she spotted an oddity protruding from the wall by the door frame. A switch? Reaching out with her magic she carefully raised the small device. The room was suddenly illuminated in crisp bright light. Blinking in surprise, the unicorn quickly pinpointed the source of the light. From the middle of the ceiling hung a small orb, shining brighter than any lantern. Before the unicorn could investigate the odd orb further, she was reminded of her initial reason for visiting the room. Closing the door she set upon her business.
The tub of soapy water could barely fit the man. The bubble laden broth threatened to slosh over the sides of its container even more than it already had as the man fiercely scrubbed himself in the cold liquid and dim light, despite the uncomfortable bend he had to make in his knees so he could fit in the tub. The man shivered as he scrubbed. Apparently this new bathroom believed in neither hot water nor showers.
She glared at the porcelain behemoth before her, this was not any sort of toilet that she knew. The first issue was that the beast was high enough for her to rest her chin upon it while standing. The second obvious problem was that the device had some form of raised back which could prove difficult for her to rest comfortably against with her tail. Despite these issues she had no choice in the matter, she would have to figure out this toilet.
Carefully the unicorn leaned forward until her posterior was airborne and attempted to delicately place it upon the seat. She succeeded only in slipping off of it and onto the floor. Turning to face the toilet, which she was convinced was mocking her, the unicorn decided to take a much more forward approach and threw herself onto its seat, wrapping her legs around the back of it to cling on. The triumphant grin on the unicorn quickly dissipated as she noticed an odd sensation about her tail, almost as if it was wet. Looking back in sheer terror she discovered her tail was indeed wet, for it had dipped itself into the bowl!
The unicorn flailed in disgust, attempting to retrieve her tail from the least wanted bath it had ever gotten, not noticing the metallic lever until her foreleg pushed it down. What she did notice, was the sudden loud roar from the toilet and the suction brought upon her tail, the strength of it pulling her backside down through the seat, forcing her legs up against her body. It was then she decided that she cared nothing for the evil toilet.
The man shakily rose from the water as he pulled the stopper from the drain, his joints popping in protest of their time confined so uncomfortably. With care the man stepped from the tub and quickly braced himself against the wall and the slick floor attempted to betray him to gravity's cruel embrace, he would have none of that.
Making sure to keep the encouraging support from the wall, the man moved towards what he assumed to be the cupboard where towels were stored. Pleased that his assumption was correct, the man withdrew one of the thicker looking towels and proceeded to dry himself as best he could.
The unicorn stood in an oversized tub, not the least bit pleased with the experience provided to her by the strange toilet. The toilet itself was equally displeased with what the unicorn had provided it, as its still intact seat rested neatly on the pile of magically shattered porcelain that was once its bowl.
Magically turning a handle above the faucet, the unicorn waited with a hint of fear visible on her features. The fear was replaced with relief as water poured forth from the faucet. Looking for the plug belonging to the drain the unicorn's eyes fell upon a small lever directly above the faucet. Licking her lips and releasing an audible gulp she fearfully flipped the lever with her magic.
The unicorn stared in confusion as the water cut out for a moment, then yelped in terror as a moment later the water returned, only it was bombarding her from above! The unicorn slowly began to let her fear go as the water running over her appeared to hold no ill intentions. Allowing herself to enjoy some form of comfort from this strange bathroom, the unicorn magically squeezed a dab of what she assumed to be shampoo upon her back and began to lather it into her fur as the water began to actually raise itself to a soothingly warm temperature. Idly the unicorn pondered what enchantment had been placed on the tub so that the water would become warm as the temperature continued rising.
The unicorn let out a yelp of pain as the water suddenly leapt to near boiling temperature, an angry hissing coming forth from overhead. Falling over the side of the tub and onto the tiled floor, the unicorn pulled herself from the stream and magically turned the handle of the tub past the off position to the point it broke free of the wall.
On his knees before an absurdly low sink and wall mounted mirror, the man was carefully cleaning an unfamiliar tooth brush in a stream of cold water. Upon deciding it was clean enough to be permitted entry, he loaded it with what he assumed was toothpaste and began to fight off tooth decay.
Dripping wet and severely disheartened, the unicorn pulled herself shakily up in front of a tall sink and mirror. Between the sink and mirror sat six odd holes, four rectangular in design with a circular one set slightly below and between each pair of rectangles. Levitating a toothbrush which was not her own before her, the unicorn mentally decided that one day without brushing wouldn't be the end of her teeth and set it back where she found it. It was then that one of the unicorn's legs gave in to weakness and buckled, causing the unicorn to slip and her horn to come into direct contact with one of the strange holes. The orb of light overhead burst.
The man swirled water about in his mouth before spitting it into the sink. As he wiped the droplets left across his face with an arm, he rose to his feet and turned to leave the odd bathroom.
As she sat in the middle of the dark room, the now slightly blackened unicorn decided she had taken all the punishment she would put up with from the foul and tainted bathroom that had replaced her beloved sanctuary with itself. Focusing all of her magic and fury on the thought of returning her own bathroom to its rightful place she let loose a great lavender light from her horn and eyes as she cast the most powerful spell she had ever cast before.
The man stepped out into the hall as a great earthquake began to rock his world. Turning around the man watched in both awe and terror as space began to rip itself apart within the center of the strange bathroom. The man could only stare into the tear between worlds while the bathroom was pulled inwards upon itself and the void. For a brief moment the man was allowed to witness the whole of two worlds and all that lived within them. All of that which was realized and had yet to be dreamed was shown to the man through that small window to the space between the worlds, and in an instant it was gone, replaced with a barren little room with exposed wiring and pipes.
Shaking both the oddity of his bathroom missing and sudden sense of his place in the universe, the man closed the door to the room. He would deal with it after breakfast.
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Oddly Amusing
And I think it is most funny that Twilight has such difficulties to a modern time bathroom while the Man simply goes about his business
This is genious. I have no idea how you made something so hillarious and philosophical from something as simple and hillariously odd as a bathroom switch. Loved it.
On another note. It's great how the man just goes, "The fuck?" and goes about his huisiness in miniature. Yet Twilight has an absoluletly terrible time.
You got my like.
I gotta say this much, THAT was pretty funny.
Also, first post.
This ammuses me! Good job man, it takes skill to write something in that sort of a context and make it good! That was 1.6K of daily routine, and yet, highly enjoyable!
Given that the Man has yet to acquire that most necessary of beverages, coffee, I find his course of action completely and utterly plausible.
I hope that there will be similar stories to follow, for this has earned the coveted "Thumbs Up" from this reader.
You sir have recieved a thumb up from me. That was HILARIOUS!!!
Seriously though! Take my thumbs! You deserve them! If I was in the guy's position I probably would have also been like "ok, what the fuck?" then just deal with the problem later. Poor Twi. She has now been emotionally scarred by the evils of human restrooms.
Stay frosty my delicious friends. Silver, out!
523602 OMG IDEA.
KITCHEN. SWAP THE KITCHENS. SEQUEL-FUEL! :D
The ending feels like something out of Hitch Hikers guide to the Galaxy.
524446
My mind was warped by The Guide long ago... So I'm not surprised if it shows.
treg what the hell is wrong with you?
524708
It is not my fault, brother. Blame the people I speak with on skype, they made me do it.
524717 treg..........o i give up
Short but sweet.
Might have been funny if Spike had wandered in while the man was in Twilight's bathroom, he'd likely scream.
She's right the toilet is evil! Just look at what it eats!
525170 Please do not encourage him
... Dafuq did I just read?
I don't really know what to say Treg, other than that. Also, how in the world did you come up with this? Did you just walk into your bathroom one morning and had this amazing idea?
It was funny how the Man was just like "Okay, whatever." and does his business, while Twi believes that the bathroom is evil.
EEEEEVVVVVIIIIIILLLLL
I'm guessing that the man was NOT stone?
525654
The man was not stone, the man was just some random man.
suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/6948430/images/1259708430542.png
You, good sir, are purely a genius! This is by far the most original piece of work I have ever seen on this website. It is such a simple idea, but the execution was outstanding. Maybe now people will realize that they don't need over the top to get a good story. This one is a definite favourite, and shall forever be a timeless classic of Fimfiction. I will do my best to be sure of that.
Anyway, good day, and good luck.
When Twi started putting on the shampoo, My ears started ringing, THEY STILL ARE
What does this mean!?
527358
Maybe somepony is calling them?
527390 Maybe, but if so. How would I answer my ears?
What is this I don't even...
Whatever, it was well-written, I guess I will give it a thumbs-up
527411
...Very carefully is all the advice I can give.
525566 Don't worry, I think after the ordeal Twilight went through in the man's bathroom he'll have seen enough.
And if worse comes to worse the secret is safe with me.
As soon as it began, it ended.
This small shore story Has done better than both of our stories put together . It's only been out for a few days And it has more views Then both of them ?
Oh well It's best I'm not question it 
Good job Brother 
Mother of God... that was the most oddly hilarious thing I've read in while. And, the icing on the cake, it was grammatically correct!
thecheckingline.com/sites/thecheckingline.com/files/ObamaNotBad.png
"the unicorn decided to take a much more forward approach and threw herself onto it's seat" - Grammar note: When its is used possessively, it does not need an apostrophe dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
531543 ^ NOPE! ^
524008 a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/w/awwyeahplz.png
532460
My story is totally grammatically correct and that has absolutely nothing to do with me changing errors as they are pointed out.
532566 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png
Treg, you magnificent bastard.
536951
Yes?
536957
Just marveling at how everything that I've seen that was written by you has been amazing.
537020
Oh, thank you.
Treg. My mind is full of wut now. Primarily, there's so much room for things to have gone wrong that neither of them noticed. What were the mysterious liquids? Was all not what it seemed?
Also, whoever said to make a sequel where their kitchens are swapped was a genius. Not as much of a genius as you, but still.
Treg, I must complement you that story actually caused me to laugh out loud, normally I NEVER laugh when reading, so well done.
So... Twilight's horn jabbed the electrical outlet...
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png
...
Oh dear Luna's and Celestia's gorgeous flanks...
You realize what they say about the sensitivity of a unicorn's horn...
ᵞᵃᵞ 
in an electrical outlet!!! 
That would be like sticking your
Man, you know you're old when this story reminds you of Turner and Hooch
"This is not your room"
http://www.hark.com/clips/njfvtxbmxf-not-drink-from-my-toilet
Ya, that's how I'd react to.
...How the hay did Twilight manage to get electrocuted by a GROUND WIRE?
523415 Your Lyra avatar is very fitting for your comment. Where did you find her? I swear thats a recolor of one of the mane 6's expressions...AJ?
Poor Twi, she suffers so magnificently and poor dude, his bathroom is now trashed.
Loved it!
765519 With TALENT!
People and ponies will FIND ways to injure themselves any where. Even in a padded room.
And her horn was wet *shrug* I know, the bathroom sockets cut off the circuit with any short in them instantly, hence their reset button.
765899 You don't understand. The only part of an electrical socket her horn could possibly fit in enough to make contact is the big hole at the bottom. That hole is designed specifically to make sure that if a high-voltage appliance breaks there is somewhere for the voltage to go that has less resistance than the human body. It does not carry current. It's literally impossible to electrocute yourself with this hole unless you're electrically insulated and holding a power conduit, which Twilight Sparkle most certainly is not.
...Then again, magic...
Up until the very end... I thought it was Rarity
Genius!!!
Oh, wow.
765123
He didn't have coffee yet. It was too early in the morning to deal with that shit.