• Member Since 3rd Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Oct 16th, 2016

LiveLife


All of my fandoms need me...

E
Source

This story is a sequel to I Think that I have a Crush?


Dinky Doo is determined to find out what the strange feeling that she had the other day...she just doesn't know how.

Contains awkward and adorable moments!

Cover-art from schwarzekatze4 on DeviantArt

UPDATE*** I will only be writing new chapters for this on "popular" holidays (i.e. Hearth's Warming Eve, Hearts and Hooves Day) because, although fun to write, they take a lot of effort. I may do a couple out of the blue, but don't expect it!

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 12 )

5410672
Thank-you! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! Onto the villain one-shot now!

Thanks for adding to favorites! :heart:

<3
Squeeeeee
Omg
This is so cute
Squeeeeeeeeeee

VGI

Lovely. A bit longer than the first, but still short enough, and still as light. Beautiful slice-of-life. Very innocent...but I don't quite understand why they have to get their parents out of the house, though. Seems a bit, too much.

Thank God it's Equestria, then, I guess.

It's something I'd read before going to bed for the night - to hopefully dream about it.

Thumbs upping, and shelving. Good job Mr./Ms. Author.

FYI: I was looking for some Pip-Dinky fics so that I could have a basis for my own story on how the fandom treats the pair, and I read your stories. Your stories are my first influence regarding the Pip-Dinky pair.

Some specifics you may want to look over:
1. "Tomorrow I'm going to pick Pipsqueak up at the school...is that okay?"
- Personal opinion: Sounds awkward to me. You could actually take "the" out. Would probably sound more natural.

2. "Alright...let's get some dinner and I can talk to our parents after to get them to leave you and this mystery colt," Amethyst told her little sister gently.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
"Dinky!" Pipsqueak called across the frozen playground.
"Hey, Pip!" she called back, smiling despite herself.
- This actually was a little bit confusing to me, that I had to double-back. By that I mean the transition from the house scene to the school scene. You may want to make it a bit more clear that the next scene is a school scene ->"Dinky!" Pipsqueak called across the frozen playground of the school.

3. "That's fine! Mom and Dad are already at the hotel that I found them, so anything is good!"
- Personal opinion: "...that I found for them."

4. The next day Dinky galloped to the school ground at 7:30.
- "...school grounds" perhaps?

5. "Okay!" Dinky called as they raced up the stairs. "That's the bathroom, that's my sisters room, that's the guest room, and that's my room!"
- Delete extra space and add "'": "Okay!" Dinky called as they raced up the stairs. "That's the bathroom, that's my sister's room, that's the guest room, and that's my room!"

6. When they got to the dining room they saw cucumber and daisy sandwiches on freshly baked four-grain bread. There was a side of cranberries in a really nice china bowl.The chocolate-chip cookies were sitting in the middle.
- Delete extra space and add space.

7. "No, no! This is our pleasure! Please don't feel bad...this is all for you!" Amethyst comforted.
- Delete extra spaces.

5589733
Thank-you! I'm really glad that you enjoyed AND that you gave me some tips...I personally wrote this a little bit late at night so I'm surprised that's all you found! I will fix those! :pinkiehappy:
(sorry that I use so many exclamation points...)

VGI

5593243 My pleasure. Least I could do since you wrote a wonderful story for us.

I have to get better at editing too, so I do what I can to help out other writers while I wait for my editors to...not be busy so we could go back to editing my fics.

5594611
Yeah...as an editor myself I know how it feels to be busy...but don't wait too long before asking if they will work on it kindly and gently so that you can post it...editors sometimes get so caught up in life that they forget about the sire (I know from experienced).

VGI

5597247 *nods*

And you're very right about the 'wanting to post it' bit. I dunno what the optimum number of editors is, but right now, I have 4 editors on a 5,000+ word story - one had to quit, the other got injured at work, and now I have two left. They are giving good input and such, but I don't know if I am making progress or making the editing session longer.

I guess its better to make it longer than to publish it prematurely, like I did with my first (and only published) fic.

Oh my god
"THEN YOU SAY YES!"
You go Amethyst. :heart:
I love this chapter, I NEED MORE!

5645097
Next part in progress...more complicated though because it's the actual dance...and I want to get it right...ugh! WHY MUST MY BRAIN BE SO SPECIFIC? AND WHY MUST MY COMPUTER HATE ME?

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