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emkajii

Joined November 2011
264 followers

Stories (1)

  • Equestria: Total War
    War comes to Equestria: with despair, with starvation, with sacrifice and with heroism.

    154,250 words · 16,003 views · 967 likes · 30 dislikes

War comes to Equestria: with despair, with starvation, with suffering and with sacrifice. And the ponies must learn how to keep true to their values while surviving not just the rigors of battle, but the desolation of total war.

First Published
5th Nov 2011
Last Modified
30th Jan 2012

Comments ( 1,130 )

#1 · Chapter 19 · 150w, 2d ago · 3 · ·

Great. Super idea, Big Mouthintosh. Turn her into Field Marshall Haig. At this rate, her grand strategy will become "Slaughter everyone but myself, the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Jeffy the chameleon." :facehoof:

#3 · Chapter 19 · 150w, 2d ago · · ·

yay its here too, thought about making a acc on ponyfiction just to comment on how awesome the story looks like,i prefer reading finished stories so for now ill wait for it to be done tho.

#4 · Chapter 4 · 149w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

Derpy is now officially on par with Optimus Prime.

#5 · Chapter 19 · 149w, 1d ago · · ·

reading this wuill listen to the sountreck of assasins creed

#6 · Chapter 19 · 149w, 1d ago · · ·

This story is amazing so far

Hoorah!

But there aren't any more chapters

Haroo

Write some more. That's a request- not an order.

#7 · Chapter 19 · 149w, 1d ago · · ·

:applecry: I will need to devote sometime to read this alas I have none

#8 · Chapter 19 · 149w, 1d ago · · ·

This is really good. There's something sadistically satisfying about watching a bunch of peace-loving and compassionate ponies without any capacity to cope with violence experience the horrors of war. It's like the perfect storm for drama.

#9 · Chapter 7 · 149w, 1d ago · · ·

did i read that right? did you use the name skywishes?

#10 · Chapter 4 · 149w, 1d ago · · ·

:pinkiesmile:

Dang, that was actually an awesome

Speech!

#11 · Chapter 5 · 149w, 1d ago · · 1 ·

Hmmmmm... The Plot of the story is pretty good, but its taking forever to pick up. Its just been 4 chapters of booooooring! And I know you need to get all the plot stuff out of the way, but you need to put little doses of action in between the plot development.

Good reading so far though, and I will continue reading :pinkiesmile:

#12 · Chapter 6 · 149w, 1d ago · · 1 ·

More plot development, but its still not exiting at all.

Plus, Im doubting a cute little pony like derpy would use such a... Colorful vocabulary. :rainbowderp:

#13 · Chapter 7 · 149w, 1d ago · · ·

Um, any particular reason why the text suddenly turned italic, and stayed that way for the rest of the chapter?

Ah well. Looks like things are about to finally pick up. I will continue reading tomorrow, because its really late now:ajsleepy:

#14 · Chapter 19 · 149w, 1d ago · · ·

[Spoilers]

I just read the whole thing and I'm looking forward to see where this goes. Juxtaposing children's cartoon characters with the horrors of war does make a powerful read. The author put them in all kinds of moral dilemmas and used their strengths against them. They all will be mentally scared for life.  They'll probably be fighting PTSD, alcoholism, and will probably be on suicide watch when all of this is over.

The author set up pretty powerful moral dilemmas for the whole crew and was in the process of nailing down Rarity and Twilight Sparkle, as of to date their moral dilemmas appear to be not yet fully realized. The two were in a village where they were arguing about tithe for the troops. The village was already raided by the enemy and would not make it through the rest of the winter if the levy was paid. The outcome has not yet come home to roost unlike many of the other moral dilemmas.

Of all the dilemmas,I found Pinky's to be the most disturbing.  Being the embodiment of laughter and fun, the author chose not to put her in a role of something more suited for her such as Moral Officer, but instead, in charge of a light infantry brigade due to her agility and speed.  As a leader, she has to use her "party skills" to send troops to their deaths, whereby afterwards she has a hard time expressing her grief and pain, almost as if she has no vocabulary or frame of mind to do so. Those scenes were arguably amongst the most disturbing pros of the story.

Fluttershy's shyness translates into utter cowardliness--with the possibility of redemption as this is still a work in progress.

Rainbow Dash's ability to tactically out-think her superiors without regards to the complete strategy behind the battle gets her an arguably undeserved promotion and she will be forever guilt ridden and a diminished tactician who will be second guessing herself and will follow orders to the letter, perhaps to the point of suicide.

I'm not sure what Applejack's moral dilemma is.  Maybe the author didn't make one yet. The plot line so far is that if she's proven by the Elements of Harmony to be the dependable one, but her troops were the first to break rank and flee. Compared to some of the other moral dilemmas this was the mildest by far.

Derpy though not part of the Mane Six is prominently featured.  Because of her cross eyes,she was teased in childhood and she moved away in hopes of a new start, but that did not happen. She found that she was teased wherever she went--until she finally stood and fought. This character quirk in the time of war makes her morph into both a great and terrible resistance fighter and army leader where subordinates simultaneously respect and fear her. How far she can push her people to win the war without loosing her soul is the big question. She sits on a knifes edge and one wonders if she is at the tipping point, where not even Big Macintosh can pull her back.

It's fun to speculate on the future direction of this story.  The most powerful weapon they have is of course The Elements of Harmony, but that only works when the characters realize their friendship. The story is set up such that the characters are so damaged and traumatized that it will be interesting to see how the author heals them enough for the weapon to actually work.

The story reads as if the author is looking for maximum character conflict. If so, if all the characters are damaged then they will all have that in common thus potentially lessening conflict. If the author leaves one of the characters alone--or less damaged, that can create conflict as the others can turn on her.

I would be interested in seeing what others thought of the story and what directions and twists they would like to see in the story.

#15 · Chapter 4 · 149w, 1d ago · · ·

a beutiful speech for a time of need.:rainbowkiss:

#16 · Chapter 20 · 149w, 1d ago · · ·

Oh, dear.....this is about where it all falls apart for the Gryphons, isn't it? Ah, well; the Grey Mare will do all the liberating for'em.

#17 · Chapter 19 · 149w, 22h ago · · ·

Absolutely captivating story, the characters are shaped in a way that I can relate to, Emotions are portrayed and felt.

I felt lonely in the last chapter, I felt angry when Fluttershy abandoned her post. I like this story, alot. I'll be watching this one. :yay:

#18 · Chapter 20 · 149w, 22h ago · · ·

I trust those Gryphons. Then again, I trust anyone with a cool accent.

#19 · Chapter 20 · 149w, 21h ago · · ·

>>31531

*Spoiler*

Applejacks crisis came from the results of her total honest with her troops, including her uncertainty regarding the competency of her superiors, thus aiding in, if not causing the rout of unit.  She takes this as a lesson that one must lie in war, or at the very least, be less than forthcoming with the troops.

#20 · Chapter 20 · 149w, 21h ago · · ·

>>31531

*Spoiler*

Applejacks crisis came from the results of her total honest with her troops, including her uncertainty regarding the competency of her superiors, thus aiding in, if not causing the rout of unit.  She takes this as a lesson that one must lie in war, or at the very least, be less than forthcoming with the troops.

The parts with screwball throw me off abit, but then again, I haven’t read that story, but probably will now.

As for the story as a whole, I’ve really enjoyed it in a masochistic sort of way.  I would say I am much more than a casual war history buff and feel that I am as familiar with the trials and horrors of war that one can be from reading it on paper, watching it on film, and hearing about it from those that where there.  Reading as these ponies are exposed to the horrors of total war takes something I normally equate with joy and happiness and plunges it straight into hellish conflict.  It hurts more than a little to read, but then again, that fact that it hurts shows that the author has managed to pull on some emotion from me and keep me interested and reading, even though I know it will only get worse.  

So in keeping with the theme of masochism I eagerly await you to hit me in the face with the next chapter.

#21 · Chapter 6 · 149w, 20h ago · · 1 ·

Nice characterization I have to say, and listening to The Sherlock Holmes theme while reading Derpys monologue was fantastic, and even unplanned!

#22 · Chapter 10 · 149w, 19h ago · · ·

You forgot to add some of the aftermath.. That said I have never seen a decent sized battle written this well, so well done!

#23 · Chapter 12 · 149w, 19h ago · · ·

What is this I don't even :derpyderp2:

#24 · Chapter 13 · 149w, 19h ago · · ·

"They're griffins with hooves"

Bwhahahahaaaa! This was meant to be funny right?

#25 · Chapter 8 · 149w, 18h ago · · ·

Pretty dark at the end there, but inevitable I suppose. It had to be brought up sooner or later, I suppose:fluttercry:

#26 · Chapter 18 · 149w, 18h ago · · ·

"And then, suddenly, she stopped, and her look f concentration was replaced with "

Typo, and you were doing so very very well...

#27 · Chapter 8 · 149w, 15h ago · · ·

Once again a beutiful speech. "We fight for those who can no longer,and live for those who were denied just that."

:pinkiesad2:

#28 · Chapter 8 · 149w, 15h ago · · ·

Once again a beutiful speech. "We fight for those who can no longer,and live for those who were denied just that."

:pinkiesad2:

#29 · Chapter 7 · 149w, 12h ago · · 1 ·

Wow, this guy has got BALLS to put the C.M.C. in a WAR! He better have a decent reason for this.

#30 · Chapter 9 · 149w, 11h ago · · ·

Spitfire's gonna die. Just a hunch. Rainbow is going to grow too attached to her, and shes gonna die in some horrible way.

Looks like more action in the next chapter:pinkiehappy:

#31 · Chapter 10 · 149w, 10h ago · · ·

I agee. One of the Best written battles I've read in awhile :twilightsmile:

#32 · Chapter 11 · 149w, 10h ago · · ·

Holy crap, that was sad. Be assured, had this was a true story, I would be rolling on my bedroom floor, bawling my eyes out.

Especially this part:

[Pinkie popped up again with a start. "Why...why isn't everypony laughing? Don't they see? Look at Peachy, Bubblepop. Look at her. We told her she'd be fine. We told her that her wound wasn't that bad. We told her she'd be okay. And she believed us, Bubblepop! And now...oh God isn't it awful?" She stroked Peach Cream's hair again. "And now she's cold, and she's stiff, and she'll never laugh or smile or do anything but stare dead ahead, straight ahead, looking at nothing, feeling nothing, being nothing, nothing, nothing how can a pony be nothing that doesn't even make sense does it Bubblepop? Does it?"]

I really wanted to cry at that. Amazingly profound writing sir, you have made me feel the pain six imaginary ponies woulf have felt:fluttercry:

#33 · Chapter 12 · 149w, 9h ago · · ·

Wtf did I just read?

At first, I thought they had captured fluttershy, and I freaked out:twilightblush:

#34 · Chapter 13 · 149w, 9h ago · · ·

Ugh... The whole side plot with derpy has been really boring, to be honest. Sure hope it picks up soon:rainbowderp:

#35 · Chapter 13 · 149w, 8h ago · · ·

>>32273

thats how war can be whether ornot you accept it or not. it shows how each and everone suffers in time of war.

"war is not won by armys or legions, but by a single dagger artffuly placed."

#36 · Chapter 10 · 149w, 2h ago · · ·

This chapter was boss.

#37 · Chapter 21 · 148w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Well, I expected her to 'negotiate' for the Crusaders' freedom thusly. I just hope she listens to what the three of them have to say. After all, knowing is half the battle.:pinkiehappy:

#38 · Chapter 21 · 148w, 6d ago · · ·

I have been looking forward to this update, and now that I have it I demand MOAR!!

#39 · Chapter 1 · 148w, 6d ago · · ·

Whoa.

How have I not discovered this yet? That speech gave me goosebumps.

#40 · Chapter 21 · 148w, 6d ago · · ·

Hey kids, do you want me to read you a bedtime story?  It's called My Little Pony--Total War :) :heart:

#41 · Chapter 22 · 148w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

2 updates within 24 hours?!  You have set a dangerous precedant, one that we will hold you to!

#42 · Chapter 22 · 148w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

This chapter- I like it

ANOTHER!

*smash

#43 · Chapter 22 · 148w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

>>33215

Thor reference, nice.

I have just read the entire story from start to finish over a period of 5 and a half hours, MOAR. This is one of the best, if not the best (sorry scented venom, this ones longer) story i have ever read.

#44 · Chapter 22 · 148w, 5d ago · · ·

Five bucks says that the identity of the Grey Mare is going to totally mess with Twilight's head; after all, she still thinks of Derpy as the muffin-loving mailpony who dropped the anvil on her head, not the morally conflicted warrior who's emerged from inside the Occupied Territories.

#45 · Chapter 2 · 148w, 5d ago · · ·

Hmm...First I thought the king was mad.  But....its true.  We really don't understand how Equestria works.

I remember when I first watched "Bridle Gossip" and I got a chill watching the ponies get a chill describing a perfectly normal ecosystem like on Earth.

And then I realized.  "Oh my.  This is whats going to happen when we first met aliens.  Our two species are going to creep the shit out of each other."

Of course, speaking of speculative Science Fiction, we might actually have this problem someday in the future.  If someone's vision of paradise involves terraforming a planet in a way the goes much, much further than just making it inhabitable, but to make the weather always perfect or something...and this has fallout that negatively impacts this other colony which is trying to keep a few endangered and fragile species of animal alive on said planet and they need a specific temperature to be this dry and this hot so the ecosystem can sustain...

....actually, I have no idea what would happen next.  But all wars really are fought over land, after...

#46 · Chapter 22 · 148w, 5d ago · · ·

"Luna and I will retire to the capital and stay under heavy guard; our lives are imperative."

Story logic dictates that she's going to going to get assassinated.

speaking of assassinations, who thinks that sneaking into Canterlot to shank Celestia would be the coolest Assassin's Creed mission ever?

#47 · Chapter 22 · 148w, 5d ago · · ·

Just trudged through the whole thing and God above, but it's good. Extremely well-written - moreover, consistently well-written - and Caramel's chapter... oh, I cried. Very much.

Keep going, brony, keep going!

#48 · Chapter 22 · 148w, 5d ago · · ·

I have a question for the author: Where and when did you deploy? Either you have been a student of war for a long, long time or you've personally experienced it. And I really suspect the latter, there are emotions and feelings present here that would be hard for anyone but a soldier of the line to conceptualize, let alone put into words. Also, you're concepts of leadership and its requirements are spot-on.

Trust me, I've been on the line, and war is hell.

#49 · Chapter 22 · 148w, 5d ago · · ·

This is a damn good story, hell, change it to humans and you could probably publish it! (Not that you couldn't publish as is, it's just that bronies are kind of a small market!)

But what the hell happened to Spike? Is he off rallying support with the dragon government or something? Cause, you know, every good war needs dragons.:moustache:

#50 · Chapter 22 · 148w, 5d ago · · ·

>>33447

Thank you for your vote of confidence, but I've never served, and my experience with war is limited purely to history books, old training manuals I bought in used bookstores, and things my father--a navy captain--told me when I was young. And to be honest, I haven't ever studied war seriously; I'm no expert. If I get anything right about the emotions of war, it's either unconsciously cribbed from a letter from a 18th/19th-century soldier I once read, or it's a lucky guess from my incomplete knowledge of the demands, the conditions, and the day-to-day life of Napoleonic warfare. If I get anything right about leadership, I probably cribbed it from a letter some general officer wrote in the early 1800s, or from something my dad once told me. And, of course, when I get things wrong, it's because I'm a linguist/teacher in his 20s who ultimately knows very little about war. To paraphrase a common saying in academic writing: this paper owes much to the work of many people. Any faults are, of course, the author's.

>>33460

Spike is alive. He will play an extremely minor role in what I hope will be a rather important moment.

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