It seems to be a good story so far. No spelling errors as far as I see. But ther is one mistake you keep making. At the end of a statement or command your suppose to either a period if thats where the sentence ends, or a comma if the same person is going to follow up with another sentence. Other than that its pretty good.

>>520081520081

Thank you for the input, Ill fix that asap. I'm glad you enjoyed it

It's a First Aid Kit, not a Med Kit.

Problem: You made a random jump into third person perspective. Never, EVER do that. Keep it consistent.

Unlike what ponyfiction said, there are spelling errors. Two, to be exact. It's Southern Belle, not Bell. Also, a Southern Belle is a beautiful woman from the Southern United States, it's not a type of accent. AJ has more of a Texan accent.

Also, it should be "None other than Ponyville" or "Nun other than Ponyville", depending on which you'd prefer she say. She can't be randomly speaking French by saying "Non other than Ponyville" ()

>>521022521022

med stand for medical, so they can both be used

>>521062521062 Where did I make then change, I gotta fix that, thanks for the critiquing though, its appreciated.

>>521304521304

Yeah, sure. I'm a Boy scout. That's why I say First Aid Kit.

>>521410521410

Ah, I was a scout once, it was fun, now where was that perspective change, so i may correct it

I like this story, and hope to see it through! capishe?

>>526882526882

No worries, it may take time, but I promise you that it shall be completed, I'm glad you enjoy it

Random perspective change is in Chapter 2, third paragraph.

>>531930531930

Thats because im moving from my point of view to another one, and i cant be fluttershy first person.

>>532138532138

You need to clarify it in some way. Figure out a way to seperate the paragraphs more efficiently, such as a line of asterisks.

>>532154532154

Alright, that I can do, thank you for the criticism.

>>532162532162

Just tryin' to help

>>532169532169

It is much appreciated

>>532178532178

Haven't had the chance to read it yet, but I will like and fave anyway because you deserve it.

>>538076538076

Thanks so much please let me know what you think when you read it, all feedback is welcome.

I' m liking the concept and direction of this fic. I'll be patiently waiting for updates...

Image: http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/like-a-sir.jpg

>>588165588165

Thank you so much, I appreciate it, with my current pace, Ill be delivering one chapter every weekend, but when summer is in full swing, it will be more frequent.

>>657791657791

Why thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it, stay tuned, theres more to come

>>657816657816... I just deleted my first comment because I am on the page of all of the chapters... And it turns out that I really did have first... That sucks...

This seemed like a filler chapter, just sort of to keep us occupied.

>>658840658840

Sorry about that, I'm just rolling with the story as it pops up in my head, Ill try to make the next one more eventful though, hang in there.

>>657828657828

Its ok, no worries

Good chapter! I agree that it was a little filler-ish but still a good chapter nonetheless. Wish I could go to a party like that though. Ironically the biggest party I've ever been to was a rave at a big methodist church, it was still pretty impressive though, there was food, drinks, and of course dubstep so powerful I could feel the air in my lungs vibrating from the bass.

>>659368659368

Thanks Once again, Ill try to make next chapter more eventful, we'll just see what my mind comes up with. And that sounds like a pretty awesome party you went to.

>>659216659216 ok PARTY!

>>659559659559

lets go