A young brony finds himself in a very inhospitable world that mimics one of his favorite shows. Wandering about, he runs into (quite literally) a camp of unscrupulous individuals, ran by a familiar face. Now, he has to figure out how the world works, and try not to drive himself (and the group of former Raiders) insane.
((Will touch on a lot of sexual subjects, yet will not go full on clop. Starts off in first person perspective, but may shift from character to character, or even change perspective entirely.))
Chapters (11)
Hey Great story hope to see more of it in the future.
5380774 Thank you for the compliment, sir.
This is hilarious
I want more.
I like
Heh, I like that the human is from Missouri. Best state in the Union.
Over all bud I think you did good. You kept me in the story throughout the first chapter (which is all I've read so far.)
However, I did find some mistakes. For example
This should be, " . . . I discovered that these ponies were walking weird." I saw this a few times where you used the word "where" instead of were.
Also . . . this didn't really bother me too much but the narrator talked to the reader a lot more than I thought was necessary. In my opinion you don't need to explain the mainstream MLP universe to the readers. However, it's your story, you do as you wish but that's my opinion.
My sister is way better at critiquing than I am. But in my book you did very well. You've earned my thumbs up.
5997253 Thanks. I need to sit down and actually fix a lot of the grammer and spelling problems in it. Surprising how they just glow at you once you submit it online.
God Wham!
Fucking Wham!
Damnit! Wham!
My face whams one more time into the desk and stays there
Thanks for showing me the light on that...
6004014 Glad to be of some help. *Hands you some aspirin*
We really liked the change of perspective at the beginning of the chapter.
All in all this is a very interesting story, and we think you are doing a great job combining the pony universe with the fall out one.
Would you uhh... be willing to accept editorial advice? I'm already editing for a couple of other people, working on a story of my own, and I've got life in general to deal with, so I can't promise full time on this, but I'm more than happy to help with what I can.
6235841
No problem. I need the help if I want the story, heck, any story I write be any good. Any help you can give will be a God-send. Thanks for offering and good luck on your end.
6237356 Alright! Now would you like that in a to-go bag or just PM'ed?
6238110
PMed would probablly be best.
fucking amazing
I must say this is something different and interesting, I'll haft to read it over fully sometime
Very interesting
This story would benefit greatly from having an extra line-break added after each paragraph. The reason that physical books don't do this is to save space on the pages, thereby saving paper, thereby saving money and weight. Trying to read text that's been crammed together like this, is unpleasant.
I don't know what text editing software you have access to, but if it has a search and replace feature, you may be able to add an extra line-break by having it search for one line-break and having it replace those with two line-breaks. If you can't type the line-breaks into the area where the text goes, directly (because line-breaks are usually typed using the Enter key), then you maybe be able to do so by copy and pasting the line-breaks. My favorite 'plain text' editor for Windows is called "Notepad 2", which does not come with Windows, as it's made by an independent individual. I haven't really explored any text editors for other operating systems.
I hope this helps, and that I don't seem too weird.
6393465
Thank you for the advice. I'm actually using it for the next chapter (Sorry for not saying anything for a while. Works been knocking me around.) When I have the time, I'll edit the other chapters to match.
I love this story, just wish there was more chapters
.
...so let me get this straight: We have a Fallout: Equestria story...but the the story isn't even in the actual same universe as Fallout: Equestria?
I would complain about false advertising and misleading titles, with a touch of mild disappointment, but it's not like it's the end of the world. At the very least, I wished there was a warning about this being an "Alternative Fallout: Equestria". I'm miffed, but when it comes to fanfiction, I think I'm getting used to it.
Awesome chapter!!!!
Fat man down fat man down!
Was the only thing that struck my mind when I read the story's name
Circus for a Pscho, fitting. AND AWESOME
Wow a new chapter awesome
~200 AND SOME CHANGE YEARS AGO~
Developer: "Imma slap an Apple logo on it."
Colleague: "You can't do that."
D: "Oh? What is Apple gonna do? Rise from the dead, cross the dimensional divide, and sue me? None of us are going home and by the time anyone notices we'll be long dead anyway."
~TODAY~
Jerry: *sees logo* "BEEP BEEP BEEP rassafrassa BEEP BEEP BEEP Son of a gerbil BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP and your dad smells of Elderberries."
It's alive.
ITS ALIVE!!!!
Does this fire story continue to live?