I - am that is, My sword will wield for me.
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Ah, falling through a dark and endless void, the wind blowing through your hair, is there any better feeling? I could think of several but I decided to just lean back and enjoy the sensation of falling.
After an eternity (thirty seconds or so), I close my eyes and relax. The feeling of air blowing my hair gently back and forth felt strangely soothing. Of course it was a little creepy that I couldn’t hear the rush of air that was obviously pushing against me, but there was nothing I could do about that.
Another eternity passes and I slowly begin to register a brightness coming from behind my eyelids. Cracking open my eyes I see a pleasant village spread below me, the straw roofs of several houses form a pleasant grid below. Wait a tick….below me….Ah yes still falling it seems.
As the ground decides to rush forward to greet me, I wonder if I can die again. I’m so caught up with my thoughts that it takes me about three minutes to realize that not only has the ground not invaded my personal space, but I have indeed stopped falling about forty feet above said ground.
While so suspended a few things of note come to my attention; firstly I still appear to have my clothes that I had when I was in the tunnel but apparently devoid of footwear, secondly there is a bunch of multi-colored ponies seemingly going about their everyday business below me, and finally the fact that my hair seems to still be blowing in a none existent wind.
I shoved the fact that my hair had developed a mind of its own into the back of my mind due to the fact that there was something much more important going on below me.
This incredibly important event that was keeping from inspecting the sudden locomotion of my follicles was the appearance of a certain yellow and pink Pegasus within what I could now correctly identify as Ponyville’s primary marketplace.
That adorable bundle of fur, feathers and cuteness was trotting northwards through the marketplace using her pink mane as an impromptu hiding spot whenever another pony trotted by. Don’t’ get me wrong, I was also fascinated with all of the other ponies making their way through town but I just couldn’t take my eyes of the adorable four legged bundle of joy that was Fluttershy.
With an internal ‘Squee’ running through my head I start waving my arms in front of me, trying to “swim” closer ground. Much to my dismay, I remained suspended about four stories above the busy roadway below me.
I frowned with displeasure at my apparent lack of locomotion, my face contorting to a pout of frustration. Every fiber of my being wanted to be closer to that animal loving mare. I had to get closer, I just had to.
Abruptly, I feel myself starting to float towards Fluttershy, almost as if I’m slowly sinking through the air like it was a viscous liquid. My sudden movement startles me and my drift downwards ends as abruptly as it began. Forehead furrowed in thought I quickly bring back the feelings of needing to be closer to one of my favorite ponies and I begin to descend once again.
Hmm, it seemed an act of will was just what the doctor ordered to be able to move. Well, willpower was definitely something I had, at least when it came to things like forcing himself to stay awake to finish a fifteen page paper, or when I came to working for long periods of time.
With that thought I pushed forward and found myself floating about a foot off the ground and a few feet in front of that certain pink maned pony. As she approaches I notice she only comes up to my waist, three feet at most at the tip of her ears. Man, ponies are tiny here. I fling my arms open in excitement, drawing in a deep breath and exclaim “Fluttershy, Yay!”
Realizing I most likely just startled the poor Pegasus, I look forward with an apologetic grin on my face. Only to watch in astonishment as she walks right past me without acknowledging my existence.
Blinking a few times in confusion I take in the rest of the ponies around me, who to my great displeasure continue on their merry way as if there never was a strange being that descended from the heavens into their peaceful little town.
Face scrunched up with confusion I willed myself forward, floating idly next to Fluttershy with my knees slight bent behind me as I try to keep up with my moving pony prey. My eyes scrunch as a nagging suspicion forms in my mind and I reach out to place my hand on Fluttershy’s forehead. The feeling of pins and needles erupts throughout my hand as Fluttershy casually walks through my outstretched appendage.
Fluttershy shutters slightly but continues trotting through the marketplace as if nothing had occurred.
“Schnitzel, I guess I’m still dead here.” I sigh as I continue on behind Fluttershy, brooding about what these new developments meant for me. Obviously they couldn’t hear or see me; if they did they were doing a great job of pretending that I wasn’t there. Also, it was apparent that I couldn’t touch any of them. Hmm, I wonder if I could interact with an inanimate object instead.
Once again, I reach out and try and grasp the butterfly clasp that holds Fluttershy’s saddlebags closed only to have a repeat of the odd sensation spreading through my hand as I pass through the bag. Clearly I was insubstantial, invisible and all around easy to ignore to the pony populace.
I’m jerked from my reverie by the soft voice of the yellow and pink pony I had been tailing. “Excuse me…Sir…I would like to p-purchase a b-bundle of celery please…if you don’t mind that is.”
Looking up I notice Fluttershy has stopped at a stall that appears to have fresh produce pilled in wooden bins arrayed to provide a view of each different type of veggie available while stuffing as much produce into the tiny space as possible. A stallion with a light brown coat and a slightly darker mane stands behind the stand. I eye this pony up and down, immediately impressed with the substantial goatee he’s sporting that could give mine a run for its money or bits as it were.
“That’ll be three bits there little missy.” He says reaching under the stall and placing a wrapped bundle of celery onto the counter. My trained horticultural eye wonders over said piece of vegetation and I silently approve. I wonder if all produce here is this good or if it’s just the fact that he only wants to sell a quality product.
I glance down to Fluttershy and notice that she has a look of slight disbelief on her face. Hmm, I wonder what that’s about; perhaps three bits might be a lot for celery. I didn’t know if there was a large demand for celery but he definitely had ample supply judging by the stacked crates behind him.
As Fluttershy begins to slowly open her saddlebag with her wing I mutter “Come on Fluttershy, I know you can be assertive.”
Fluttershy pauses for a second, a small glint of determination appears in her eye, “S-sir, that is way too much…I could purchase three bundles for that price from any other pony here…” I’m astounded at this small act of forcefulness and glance up to the stallion silently daring him to argue with her.
The stallion looks her up and down, a look of contemplation passing over his face before he reaches under the table to produce a second bundle, “I’ll give yah two bundle for three bits then, little miss.” He states with a soft but firm tone.
With a soft “yay” Fluttershy hoofs over three bronze coins to the stallion while tipping the two bundles of celery into her saddlebags. The smile adorning my face would most likely have caused my jaw to crack if I still had the capability of breaking said jaw.
The moderately short float back to Fluttershy’s cottage was spent contemplating my new lot in life or lack thereof. The sounds of many little woodland creatures scampering about tore me from my thoughts as I realized that we had arrived at our destination. As Fluttershy approached her shrubbery adorned cottage, dozens of tiny bundles of fur and adorableness approached to welcome her back. As I floated up alongside her the small army of critters slowed to a halt and looked around, wearing slightly confused expressions. Some of the mammals actually looked right at me for a few moments before returning their attentions to their pony caregiver.
I wonder if they could see me, or perhaps at least sense that something was here that was neither pony nor small critter. Could be that sense that critters have back home that warned them of impending natural disaster. Wait…did that make me a natural disaster? I did have an ex-girlfriend that had implied as such, at least when it came to me cleaning up after myself.
The soft clunk of a door closing caught my attention and I noticed that Fluttershy had left me standing in the middle of the dirt roadway. How rude!
Willing myself forward I examined the split doorframe in front of me. Shrugging my apparently insubstantial shoulders I dive headfirst through the door resulting with a sudden sensation of pinpricks driving through my body as I pass through the piece of wood that dares separate me from Fluttershy.
The place was packed with scores of small mammals, reptiles and birds, all eagerly devouring food that had been placed out in small bowls around the room. About a dozen pairs of eyes flick towards the doorway when I enter but they quickly resume consuming the poor defenseless chunks of vegetable matter laid before them.
A flash of yellow alerts me to Fluttershy reentering with a plate piled high with various vegetables, topped with what I could only guess as a vinaigrette of some kind, and lays it at the feet of the fluffy little ball of pure evil that is Angel Bunny.
I drift over as I watch Angel take a sniff of the offered salad. I gasp in outrage as he turns his nose up to offered nourishment and he proceeds to kick the plate over, spilling lettuce over the floor leaving a trail of salad dressing.
As Fluttershy begins to clean the mess I do the only thing I can do in my righteous fury, I poke the little ball of evil right in the back. I suppress a giggle as I watch a shiver run down his spine as he looks around in confusion.
He lets out a small huff of annoyance and hops over to Fluttershy’s turned back, raising a back leg as if he was going to kick her hoof. So I poked the little devil incarnate again and giggle manically as I watch the shiver encompass him and his little cottontail puffs out. His ears perk up, as I continue to laugh at the fuzz ball and he looks around with a slight expression of fear forming on his face.
Following a few seconds of inspecting the room, the devil bunny once again raises his foot to kick Fluttershy in apparent frustration. So, I raise my hand and slam it down through his head, passing quickly through his body and through the floor. I watch in fascination as he goes through a full body shiver and snort in amusement as a small pile of brown pellets appears behind him.
A small gasp issues from Fluttershy as she turns around from cleaning the spilled veggies, “Now Angel dear, what did mommy say about going outside to do your business.” A smile twitches on my face as I watch Fluttershy carry Angel by the scruff of his neck in her mouth outside.
I spent the rest of the day watching Fluttershy as she took care of the numerous animals around her house, noting how every now and then one would apparently twitch an ear towards me or glance in my general direction. As Fluttershy got into bed I decide I would be too much of a creeper if I watched her sleep, so I float through her roof to be enveloped by Luna’s gorgeous night.
I lean back in the air and close my eyes, trying to pull myself into sleep. After about half an hour I realize I don’t feel the urge to fall into my usual dreamless sleep.
Hmm, I guess I no longer can sleep. Wait a minute. That means I’m going to be awake for hours on end…when everything that could keep me entertained is sleeping….” Well, Schnitzel.”