What the heck am I going to do now? Here I am, in some back alley in Ponyville, in Lyra’s body which is currently bleeding everywhere, and worst of all I had let the sniveling bastard that did this get away. Better yet I had let the bucker get away with all of her money. Buck my unlife!
I let a sigh escape Lyra’s lips as I stumble slowly down the alleyway. I must admit I was having a little difficulty with walking. It wasn’t the whole four legs thing that I was getting stuck up on, it was the fact that it had been months since I had needed limbs to actually move from one place to another.
I try to ignore the throbbing pain emanating from Lyra’s skull and the blood that is starting to dry on the left side of her face. I can still feel a flow of blood from the wound but it seems to have slowed to a minor drip.
As I wobble down to the opening of the alleyway I see a few splatters of blood littering the dirt that wasn’t Lyra’s. I allow myself a smug smile; apparently I had hit that bastard harder than I thought with that brick.
I stumble down the side street that will take me to the hospital. As I weave back and forth along the side of the road I try and suppress a shudder from the cold chill in the air. Good God, I had forgotten how unpleasant being cold was and here Lyra was without even a scarf to help stave off the cold. I just pray she isn’t going into shock or anything.
Best keep moving, that will keep my body warm…Lyra body warm. I shake my head slightly, I can’t let myself start thinking about this being my body, I’m simply borrowing it.
It was pretty funny that I was in Lyra’s body, and the irony that I was a girl wasn’t lost on me, I decide that I wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.
“I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and bright…” This song was definitely creepy with two voices and I was loving it.
As I make my way past the tavern we were at before I hear a male voice from behind me. “Haaay there good lookin’, you need some help gettin’ home?” A stallion, one of the three that had been at the poker table walks up on my right side. The slight slur in his speech and the smell of alcohol on him tells me that he is at least tipsy if not outright drunk.
I continue walking, feeling it best not to draw attention to Lyra if I could help it. The stallion stumbles for a seconds and catches up to me. “Hay, I just want ta help ya out. There’s no need to be all snobbish about it.”
I pick up the pace a little bit; I definitely didn’t want to deal with this guy right now. I don’t know why but I was getting really pissed at him, I’m going to chalk it up to having hormones running through my body again.
“Ye’re being really rude little miss prick.” He stumbles up next to me again. “I just wanted ta help ya home was all, it’s not like I would ever want anything from a mare like you.”
The tone with which he said that just pissed me off to no end. I turned to him and he stops in his tracks as he gets a good look at Lyra’s face. “Why don’t you go buck yourself!” I growl at him.
The stallion stares for a second and I watch as his tail slowly pulls itself between his legs and he starts shaking. Oh god, I must have terrified the poor bastard. I would have laughed at him but I’m pretty sure that would have made him piss himself. So I did the only reasonable thing and left him there as I continued on towards the hospital.
The snow flurries in the air kept reminding me of how cold it was becoming and the fact that Lyra had lost quite a bit of blood. After another ten minutes of stumbling through the streets, the hospital came into view.
I made my way to the front entryway and pushed my way through the doors. Good God, how long has it been since I had to open a door to enter or leave a building?
The lights within the hospital were dimmed slightly and I could detect the faint whiff of disinfectant that floated in the air. I approached the front counter where I saw a white coated mare, with a green mane. I assumed she was a nurse since she was wearing a nurse's cap and had crossed syringes as a Cutie Mark. Her back was turned to me as she was sorting through some files in a cabinet set against the back wall.
I cleared my throat which made her jump and send the folder she was holding in her mouth fly into the air. She giggled to herself and then turned around to greet me. “What can I do for…” Her question slowly trailed off as she came face to face with me.
“I require medical assistance.” I deadpanned while trying to keep a straight.
The nurse just stared at me her lower jaw slowly lowering. I sigh in frustration. “Could you at least point me towards an open room?” She slowly raises a slightly shaking hoof towards a hallway on my left.
I slowly make my way down the hallway as I shake off some of the snow that had accumulated on Lyra’s back. I come upon an open doorway on my right and I see an empty bed with a few medical machines next to it. I stagger over to the bed and after a few tries drag Lyra’s body into it.
To my left is what appears to be a heart monitor of some sort. I hook the cord that was dangling off the side with Lyra’s hoof. I bring the cord up onto Lyra’s lap and grab the fabric and Velcro band at the end of it with Lyra’s mouth and wrap it around her foreleg. I hit the large green button on the machine that I assumed was the power button and it slowly came to life, giving off a soft beep ever second or so.
To my right is what appears to be an IV stand with a bag and needle in place already. I eye the needle and then look down at the appendages I’m currently sporting and then decide against trying to hook Lyra up to it. It wasn’t like I knew how to hook an IV up to a human let alone a pony.
The soft clop of hooves at the doorway alerts me to the nurse who is currently standing in the door staring at me. I raise an eyebrow at her and then lay back into the soft pillow and relax Lyra’s body. The pressure I had been under suddenly melts away and my vision fades. I feel as if I had just relaxed a giant muscle that I had been holding taunt.
My vision slowly returns and I find myself floating next to Lyra whose body has slumped into the bed. The steady beep of the heart rate monitor suddenly stops for a moment and I tense before the beep returns much faster than it was before.
The nurse jumps and nervously glances around the room before taking action. She quickly grabs some supplies from a nearby cupboard and begins cleaning the wound on Lyra’s head.
Now that I’m back to my old ghostly self I can get a good look at Lyra. She had a nasty cut, about three inches long, just to the left of her horn and the entire left side of her face is covered with dried blood that had matted her fur. The wound had congealed but I was worried about the fact that Lyra was shivering. I was relieved to see that her Cutie Mark had returned to normal, I had a feeling she would have been slightly upset if she hadn’t gotten her trademark Lyre back.
Hoping that Lyra was in good hooves I turn and leave the room. What the heck was I going to do now? I really needed to get someone to let them know what happened. My first thought was to go to Ditzy but I had absolutely no clue where she lived. I really couldn’t get Bon Bon because that would raise too many questions at a time like this. Pinkie would immediately want to help out her friend but this situation really didn’t call for the kind of help that I would get from Pinkie. Rainbow and Fluttershy were out because I would most likely scare either of them. Applejack and Rarity were better choices but Applejack was on the other side of town and while Rarity would drop everything to help there wasn’t too much she could really do. So that left one pony…Horseapples.
Dejectedly, I start making my way towards the Library and the purple Unicorn I would find within. It just had to be Twilight didn’t it, don’t get me wrong I was willing to go through the pain of dream walking again for Lyra but I really wish it wasn’t Twilight that I had to go to. Oh sweet merciful heavens, the questions I’m going to have to put up with.
There was another worry on my mind as I floated through the front door of Twilights abode and that was the fact that I wasn’t sure if gambling in Equestria was legal or not. If it was illegal then I’m pretty sure there was going to be some uncomfortable questions that were going to be raised later.
I floated into Twilights little sleeping loft, and I couldn’t help but let out a D’aww at the sight that I beheld. Spike was fast asleep in his little basket, his tail firmly clamped in his mouth as he sucked at the tip. Meanwhile, Twilight was snoring away quietly; a book lay open on her chest as a small amount of drool pooled onto her pillow. Her right foreleg twitched slightly as I floated over and looked at the cover of the book. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the title, “The Spiritworld and You!” apparently Twilight had sent out to get some new reading material. I was honestly flattered that she was still researching me so vehemently.
I sighed as my thoughts turned back to what I was about to do. Stealing myself, I gritted my teeth and plunged my hand through Twilights forehead. Huh, I wonder where the pain – SON OF A…THERE IT WAS! The damnable pain hit me suddenly after a moment or two of me awkwardly sticking my hand through Twilights skull. It was just as painful as before if not more so, it felt like large chunks of my being was being mashed through a meat grinder. My vision took on a purplish haze before all I could see was a violet cloud of darkness as I felt my form reconfigure.
Instead of falling, I found myself standing on a cold stone floor. I felt solid once again but the hazy tendrils remained around me. The chill of the stone beneath my bare feet was quickly becoming uncomfortable, so I willed myself to float a few inches above the floor before I began to explore my surroundings.
Row upon row of bookcases stretched out before me, all of them overladen with tomes and novels. I could only shake my head, an entire dreamworld to be in and all she does is dream of books. She could dream of the novels themselves but she would rather dream of a library, a rather impressive library but a library none the less.
A small noise in the distance directed me down a side aisle where I could make out a light of some kind coming from a few shelves down. After traversing the shelving between me and my destination, I come upon a small sitting area complete with a small table covered with books, a side table with a reading lamp and a sitting chair. Plopped in the chair, with her back to me, was a certain purple Unicorn.
Her right foreleg was slowly moving up and down, and she was making an adorable little gasping noise. I floated to a stop behind her and decided then was a good time to do my impression of Lyra doing her impression of a fish. She was seriously doing that? While dreaming?
“There are so many snarky comments I could make right now, most of them commenting on your self-esteem levels.”
I think Twilight set the record for highest scare jump I have caused so far if you didn’t count Rainbows impromptu Sonic Rainboom. She whirled around and landed on the ground on all fours. Her eyes grow wide and she starts shivering for a second before she tilts her head in confusion. “Sp…Spooky?”
I strike a pose and try to ooze as much sarcasm as I can, “No, tis I Candlejack, I have come to take you away for saying my name…Of course it’s Spooky, what other ghostly humans do you know?”
“I, uh, well…”
“And were you seriously masturbating while you were dreaming. I mean you’re dreaming for goodness sake, you can do anything you want, you could be doing the horizontal mambo with somepony for instance instead of ‘paddling the pink canoe.” At this the blush on Twilights face makes it look like a beacon. “But enough of that, I’m here for business not ‘pleasure’, and I really need you to wake up.”
“But…What? I’m asleep?” Twilight looks perplexed as she gazes around the room.
“Yes, you’re asleep. Now I’m not sure if you are going to be like Lyra and remember this dream and be able to see me afterwards but I hope you will. Now there are four things you need to know. Firstly, Lyra is hurt and she is in the hospital, secondly she was mugged by a griffon who was going to kill her, third you really need to wake up and lastly….I am going to come back later with a list of snarky comments about what I just walked in on.”
“…WHAT?” Twilight takes a few seconds to process all of that. “I…huh, WHAT?”
“Well, first of all let’s wake you up. I assume you will be able to see me after you wake up but assuming always makes an ass out of u and me.”
“What do donkeys have to do with ANYTHING?”
I slowly drag my hand down my face in frustration. “Ok, just try hitting yourself or something so we can get out of here.”
Twilight stares at me for a few seconds before taking her hoof and smacking it across her face. I wait for a few seconds but besides Twilight rubbing the side of her head nothing happens.
“Hmmm, that didn’t work…Ok Twilight, this will probably wake you up but you aren’t going to like it.”
“Ok what are-“ I float over to Twilight and grab her and then swiftly ascend. We travel upwards into the darkness and I can see almost endless shelves of books spreading out in all directions below us.
“WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING?” Twilight screeches in my ear.
“Why, I am waking you up my dear. I shall see you on the otherside.” I then promptly let go of her. Twilights screeches of obscenities fall away from me before they suddenly cut off and Twilights falling form vanishes before it hits the bookcases. The pain I was expecting comes almost immediately unlike last time and I find myself thrown off into the darkness.
I shake my head a few times to clear the fogginess in it when the pain finally recedes and I find myself floating in Twilights room. I find myself face to face with a furious looking Unicorn who seems to be having a horrible case of bedhead.
“SPOOKY I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!”
“You are a little late for that Twilight my dear, and I suggest you keep it down, you don’t want to wake little Spikey-Wikey.”
“umm…Rarity…” Spike mutters from his basket before rolling over.
Twilight stares at me before muttering furiously, “Now why in Celestia’s name did you wake me at this unmerciful hour again?”
I back away a little bit as I can see the steam rising from her mane and tail that was an early warning sign of her going Rapidash on me. “Uhh Lyra…Hospital…Need help?”
Twilights fury seems to abate. “Oh my, what exactly happened.”
“Uhh, how about I do the talking while you do some walking.” I say as I float towards the front door. Twilight grabs a scarf with her magic and quickly follows me outside and we start making our way towards the hospital.
“So, first off Lyra is in the hospital at the moment with a rather nasty head wound.”
“And why does she have a head wound?”
“Well, we were out and about tonight raising the necessary funds for Lyra to pay her rent and she was mugged by griffon.”
“Yes, like hit over the head and having over six hundred of her hard earned bits stolen type of mugged, and then the MOTHERFUCKER WAS GOING TO EAT HER!” Twilight takes a step away from me as a stiff wind blows down the street.
“Are…Are you serious?” Twilight asks with a slight waver in her voice.
“Twilight…I may joke about a lot of things, but this isn’t something I would joke about.”
Twilight remains silent for a few minutes before the hospital starts coming into view down the lamplight lit street.
“Then…then how is she still alive if he was going to…to…to eat…her?”
“Twilight…I must admit that I have never felt so helpless in those few moments. I saw Lyra laying on the ground, blood pooling around her and that bastardization of bird and feline about to kill her, and I felt like there was absolutely nothing I could do about it…I kind of lost it there, somehow I drove him off…In my anger at him, at my own inability to do anything, I seem to have discovered that I can manipulate my environment more than I had first thought I could. I may have thrown quite a bit of refuse at him and drove him off…I just can’t believe I let him get away without getting the money back though.”
Twilight resumes her silence as we enter into the lobby, but she looks me up and down a few times and stares at my waving tendrils of mist. As she checks out my hot bod, I lead her down the hallway to Lyra’s room. The steady beeping of the heart monitor setting my own heart at ease as we enter the room.
I was glad to see that Lyra’s face had been cleaned of all of the blood and what looks like two metal sutures were holding the wound on her head closed. A bag of blood appears to have been attached to the IV stand and to Lyra’s right foreleg.
I don’t see the nurse around anywhere and Lyra appears to be completely out of it. Twilight immediately rushes over to Lyra’s bed and looks over her wounds before whisking a chart from the bottom of the bed over to her with her magic. Twilights face scrunches up with confusion and she starts muttering to herself, “bloodloss…contusions….second voice? Glowing eyes? And a different Cutie Mark?” She looks up from the clipboard and stares at me. “How exactly did you get her here?”
Schnitzel, I was wondering when we were going to get to this. Wait, her eyes were glowing? “Wellllll, I didn’t exactly carry her here. I may or may not have overshadowed her body, and then walked her here and then attached her to the heart monitor before coming to get you.”
“You…You POSSESSED her?”
“In my defense I didn’t know that I could do that, I was going to try and carry her and it just sort of happened.”
Twilight blinks like an owl a few times. “Ok…we can talk about that later. We WILL talk about that later.” Oh God, my unlife just flashed before my eyes. “Lyra should be ok; I think you got her here in time before any permanent damage could happen. Right now I’m more worried about the fact that there is apparently a Griffon on the loose that is willing to ignore the treaty that the Princess has with the Griffon Nation.”
Twilight begins rummaging through the cabinet that the nurse had got the medical supplies from earlier and comes back with a few pieces of parchment from one of the bottom drawers. “Now, I’m going to need you to tell me exactly what happened, where it happened and what this Griffon looks like.”
I sigh and begin recounting our night; since Lyra wasn’t awake I decide to inform Twilight about the gambling. I was relieved to learn that gambling wasn’t illegal in Equestria, just slightly frowned upon. Twilight was deeply disappointed that we were cheating, but I was able to defend Lyra and myself by explaining why she needed the money. By the end of our little chat, Twilight had filled four pieces of parchment with a detailed description of what had happened tonight along with a description of Señor Douchebeak.
“Alright, that should do it. Now I need to see the crime scene. Now I want you to grab my mane and I want you to picture the crime scene clearly in your mind.”
“Ooookkkk?” I slowly reach out and grab Twi’s mane and then focus on the alleyway. Twilight then closes her eyes and her horn lights up. A beam of magic shots through the wall and then Twilights form becomes ethereal. “Wait what are you…” I then feel an ungodly pressure pull me forward as Twi teleports us. I saw images flash before my eyes, the hospital lobby, an empty street, somepony’s bedroom, another street and then finally the alleyway itself.
As we come to a screeching halt, I bend over as I feel magical electricity run through my form. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the Twilight Taser but it wasn’t a walk in the park either. When I finally stand up straight Twilight has a smug little smile on her face. “That was for dropping me.” Touché dear Twilight, Touché.
With only slight grumbling, I show Twilight around the alleyway including the large puddle of blood that Lyra had left, the smaller drops that the Griffon had decided to leave with us, the trash I had thrown around and even the broken windows in the buildings next to us.
To Twilights credit she only flinched slightly at the amount of blood that was staining the ground and she was able to take a sample of the Griffons blood with a syringe that I think she nicked from the hospital. “Ok, I’m not sure how we are going to explain how Lyra was able to get away without getting eaten but we should be able to explain everything else to the guards. Now I’m going to go send this to the Princess with a request for a team of investigators, then I’m going to go down to that ‘establishment’ that you told me about and try and talk to some witnesses. You should go back to the hospital to be there when Lyra wakes up, I will be there as soon as I’m done at that…tavern. I will try and think of something to tell the nurse about why Lyra was showing those rather peculiar symptoms when she walked in.”
With that we go our separate ways. I arrived back to the hospital in a few minutes of flying and I make my way through the lobby to see the nurse scribbling away furiously at a clipboard with the quill firmly clamped in her teeth. I float into Lyra’s room and wait at the right side of her bed so I don’t mess up the heart monitor.
I float there for a few hours until the sky brightens in the east and Celestia’s sun peeps over the horizon. A few minutes after the rays of the sun filter through the window and strike Lyra in the face she begins to twitch. Her eyes begin to flutter and she smacks her lips a few times.
I draw a glass of water from a small sink set next to the cupboards and float it over to her. “Good morning sleepy head, how are you feeling?”
“I feel like a piano dropped on my head.” She woozily responds before taking the glass in both hooves and chugging it down.
“Piano, Griffon, Tomato, Tamato.”
“Well, the Griffon that so graciously lost decided that he didn’t want to let you get away with the winnings, so he came back and tried to take them by force.”
“Oh…so how did I get to the hospital?”
“I sort of walked you here.”
“You mean you carried me here?” She still looked adorable confused.
“Nooo, I mean I may have entered your body and walked you here like a meat puppet.” Her eyes grew large at this.
“YOU DID WHAT?”
“I may have-“ I was cut off as a cream colored blur zooms into the room and latches onto Lyra.
“LYRA, I was so worried when Twilight came by the house this morning and told me you were in the hospital, she said you were attacked and that you were unconscious. Oh my Celestia I was so worried. Twilight said that a Griffon was trying to murder you but you somehow got away but she doesn’t know how you got to the hospital. Then she wouldn’t tell me how she knew you were here before I did and, and, and I was just so worried.” Bon Bon begins crying into Lyra’s shoulder and squeezes her tightly.
“Lyra…I think you should probably tell her everything.” I say with a sad smile on my face.
Lyra slowly frowns and then nods. She places her hooves on Bon Bon’s shoulder and slowly pushes her back to arm’s length. “Bon Bon, there’s a few things that I need to talk to you about.”