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The story of a stallion and his life. Accused of crimes he did not commit, with no chance of freedom, he recounts his life and visits his friends and family for the last times. Based on a drawing I did, and my first fanfic. The cover image is drawn by me, and is the basis of the story.
UPDATE: It's back.
>>516575 A minor thing first: you can actually use a "horizontal rule" in the story formatting to create line breaks within your story that cut cleanly across the width of the story. I know it's not every author's cup of tea, since I know many work through text editors (I myself work directly through Fimfiction's text editor since it's so useful and handy; I love it).
Aside from that, though this may be subjective, is that you should probably separate the hard details from dialogue, putting it into another paragraph would be nice. I can see how it would be hard in the long run if you decided to have a conversation with more than two characters because it eventually starts blending in with each other. Trying to distinguish between characters speaking is very important.
On top of that, though, also minor, is that when you end your dialogue with something like:
"Blah blah blah." He said.
It usually goes like:
"Blah blah blah," he said.
The comma only applies if you're ending a statement using a period, though. In all other cases of punctuation like !, ..., ?, and the likes, they can be used as is.
Thanks for responding, it's always nice to see another enterprising author. 
This is getting even more interesting... I only saw one "mistake", and I use that loosely.
"There are guards at every exit, and your picture is posted at the exits.” The fact that you used "exit" twice in that sentence, and so closely together, makes it sound weird (at least to me). If you don't want to, you do not have to change it. If you do want to, thought, I'd replace the second one with the word "there", or something along that line. Good chapter, keep it up!
>>520708 It was love 
and it was about a month ago. She's really a great girl. Fun, cute, caring, etc... I even used ponies to ask her xP http://imgur.com/KpctS It was when I first started drawing ponies. She would draw in my sketchbook, so I figured that was the best way. 
>>520793 Well i'll definitely give it a shot and thank you for the compliment. Sadly, I can't guarantee it will be amazing. But, i'll take the challenge either way! What exactly do you need for the cover? If you want to PM me so you don't ruin any of the details of the story, that works.
>>520809 Well, the story has already been uploaded on here, but it isn't finished. I just think that some cover art would draw more attention to it. Something along the lines of a United States soldier hugging a humanized Fluttershy would be fantastic. I'd owe you more than one. Is there anything I could do to return the favor? (Anything that isn't art, I suck at that.)
>>520830 Haha I'll give it my best shot, but don't go saying you owe me anything yet. Until it's done, it could come out horribly. If you give me a couple of days I can draw up some drafts and work on it. And if it does come out great, just credit the picture to me in the description and that'll be more than enough. 
Wow...I guess I should have expected a trip to the past in the same place, so to speak. Still, this already says as much as I think it will be. AKA awesome
. Pretty much, a maybe relationship with Twilight?...did not expect that. Oh yeah, two things. One, when you put "I felt a small weight lift off my chest, but it was minute", isn't the word "diminute"? Or did you want to put something that meant time, like "but it was for a minute"? Also, when you put thoughts of a character, put them in italics so that they are easier to recognize. Just a thought. Anyway, as always, ignore this if you wish
. See you on the next chapter!
Oh my lord...oh my Celestia...oh my I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE! You get the point
. Well...I don't think I have words to say how much you surprised me now. I expected anything...not that, and I can expect a lot. This...is GOOD! It's like I'm suffering double now. Because I watch Caesar struggle with his crushes now, and the poor guy is as screwed as many have been, but now I also cry for the future Caesar. Wow...keep up the good work dude! See you on the next chapter!
Wow...now nightmares? Is he ever going to have a break?
And also, I like how you developed that nightmare (or rather, night living dream or something like that) and Derpy's personality. She loves him, she does, but after all that, the full bond of trust was broken almost until the point of no return, if not reaching there. I wonder, what's it gonna be for him in the future on THIS part, or maybe Twilight may have a say in the matter? Or maybe what you told me will come further more on a deeper level of plot? So much to think of!
And also, Caesar says he can feel it in his chest...I say, he feels it with every goddamn cell and stuff froom his body, mind, soul, heart and spirit. I see something brewing, as before, and I like that. Also great jpb with the title. It fits rather well and is catchy, the two important things. Anyway, keep up and see you on the next chapter!
>>547883 I didn't know your story existed, or had the same name. I'm guessing you downvoted it just for that and didn't bother to read it. I understand that it's inconvenient for our stories to have the same name, but I stole nothing. If you rescind your downvote and read it, I can try to think of a better name. Don't judge my story by its title and don't assume I steal. Both of those are false. Have a nice day, and remember, love and tolerance.
How in the name of our loving and caring Celestia, could you think of the same story name as the one I came up with a year ago!?
Sorry for being so rude, but this just bothered me so... Umm.. Yeah, I think I'll check your story and maybe turn that vote up? 
But, please change your story's name. 
>>549117I do agree it is odd, but I think if you read the first chapter it'll make sense. As for the upvote, I don't want to force you to give it. Only give it if you like my story. And as for the name, i'm thinking. I'll change it as soon as I have something. Thank you for understanding. This will be resolved quickly.
...Suddenly, le wild Changeling Luna appears!
I did not expect that...I seriously didn't expect that. Well done....well done. Whatever happens next, I need to know...as soon as possible of course. Nice build up you made, and also good theory you put to use. Now...we hope Caesar isn't dead. Good chapter and see you on the next one!
Ummm...so...Caesar is gone?...What in the world happened to him?! Oh, and my comfirmation at Twilight's feelings...and we got her, Derpy and Caesar's son in a trip?...I sense plot twisting, relationship troubles and so much more awesomeness that I can honestly say: "THIS...IS...AWESOME!" Nuff said. See ya on the next one my friend, and may you keep on going!
A nightmarish corridor of multiple doors with unknown destinations with a clock ticking to zero, which could be each time where Caesar may or may not get out, or to do something at random?...Dude, what the hell where you on?! Seriously though, making all that INSIDE the moon...yeah, THAT was original. Also, curse you! You made me go hear Under the Bridge! But enough of remembrance. Will be looking forward to the now happening meeting. Also, At first you put "The term alone does not do the silence of the vacuum justice". Isn't it "The term alone does not do the justice of the vacuum silence"?. But aside that, great chapter and see you on the next one!
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this is one that reminds me of the girl who rejected me to prom. 
Image: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy278/xXstewieizcoolXx/Dis-Gon-B-Gud-1.gif&imgrefurl=http://forums.court-records.net/viewtopic.php?f%3D31%26t%3D21526&h=191&w=350&sz=1026&tbnid=GhmATfiupnzFhM:&tbnh=67&tbnw=122&zoom=1&usg=__QgOCuOLhepKOZ7aHydb56jz8eVw=&docid=RrSeHpKYusHx8M&hl=en&sa=X&ei=pAzeT8zmNaue6QHT5NSKCw&sqi=2&ved=0CGEQ9QEwAw&dur=310
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